The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks to everyone who replied to my post about keeping quiet to my AH, it seems to be having positive effects in our home. He came to me Sunday and we had a really productive talk. He said he is going back to meetings and calling his sponsor. He has not had a drink since then and is at a meeting right now. Don't get me wrong, I have no expectations for his lasting sobriety, but this time he didn't put the brakes on for me.
He did say something interesting, he said he has acknowledged that a'ism is a disease, but he has an incredibly hard time accepting it and he believes that is a barrier to his recovery. (Acknowledge/Accept/Act is a principle he learned in rehab). He has a hard time accepting this is a chronic condition.
I told him that the only way I am able to tolerate his behavior is by accepting that it is a disease and that with treatment he can recover.
Congratulations!! Isn't it amazing how our HP can work in our lives when we get out of the way and focus on keeping our own side of the street clean? That was a hard lesson for me, but I have seen alot of miracles in my life as a result.
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Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
For me, detatching was what "saved" my sanity as soon as I began to let go. At that point, hanging on any longer was too painful. I don't know if my A was just so obnoxious that it made it somewhat easy or not.
But it leaves the A alone and gives them the "room" to make their own choices, whatever those choices are. I'm so glad for your A, and for you, that you are having productive talks. Your head looks like it's in the right place to keep the focus on you. Gotta keep it there sister, and you are doing that impressively!
