Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Phil · Phil

by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist, 2001(originally published at BodyTalk Magazine.com, Aug. 2001) Do you have trouble saying NO? Do you do things for other people but almost never ask anybody to do things for you? You may be a people pleaser. People pleasers think of other peoples needs before...

Reece · Reece

Okay ladies and gents...This is my first time here. My name is Teresa. I'm a 27 year old Michiganian married to an alcoholic who is in total denial of his disease and becoming increasingly depressed, angry, and emotionally abusive. Here's the long story about how I ended up here: Sunday night I we...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

But at least I tried!

Rita G · Rita G

Yes, my dear friends, Today again, I am still powerless over people, places, things and situations. That beautiful eldest daughter. Let's call her AG. AG was arrested. She was already on probation, now a possible federal offense. We, her family, refused to bail her out. Her abusive boyfriend...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well I got the car and wish I wouldn't have. It is missing 3rd and 4th gear so I really can't even sell it now. I took my new friend from work to get it and hopefully didn't scare her off with the 50 rum bottles and needles that were all over. It was truly awful and so embarrassing. I have been feeling resen...

ollie · ollie

Hi Family, I dont post often but im with you all every day reading and i hope learning,i have a question i hope you can help me with. We have been back together now since xmas,in this time our house has been drink free. Things have been a hundred percent better,he is doing his best to please ,but with no job,...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Oh this week has abosolutely SUCKED. Just sucked. First there were the phone messages on my cell from the past 48 hours. A sampling: "I've decided that, in light of your behavior and attitude, it would just be best for everyone if you just didn't come home anymore. Just call me when the tuition...

Feather · Feather

It's sad how this rotten disease progresses, slowly but surely. As many of you may remember my A and I are separated, we have 3 children and when he is sober he is welcome to spend time with us all. (He is a binge drinker) Our 16yo daughter is proving to be handful with the usual teen rebellion. Anyway had a...

DanieH · DanieH

My name is Danielle and Im 31 years old. Ive been married for almost 6 years, but weve been together for 12. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and Im 6 months pregnant w/ our 2nd girl. My husband just currently realized hes an alcoholic. I always knew something was different, but obviously I cannot tell him...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello I just wanted to give you a quick update. I haven't been posting much lately. My divorce from my A/Cokehead husband was finalized in court on Monday. It wasn't easy... but it's done. It was supposed to be final last Monday, but at the very last minute (last Monday morning), my AH hired a lawyer...

Rita G · Rita G

It has been one year ago today that I joined the wonderful MIP family. Wow, seems like a lot longer. Just wanted to take a moment to say "Thanks" Thanks for adding to my recovery. I have gained so much just by being a member. I have been able to do some service work, learned more about Al-Anon, ge...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well now I'm kicking myself in the hiney for giving him that car as myself and my new coworker friend have to go out to myrtle beach today to pick it up from the impound. I got the call from him last night, he's in jail. This time for larceny, maybe more we'll see. The cop asked me if he was diabetic, apparentl...

TLC2 · TLC2

Took son back to the city to see the specialist. He has inflamation in his eye and was given a steroid for it. The doc couldn't tell us yet how he is going to make out as far as his vision is concerned. I went back to son's last night to give him his meds (he isn't able to do it himself) while his fiancee wasat wor...

sash · sash

This is his third day in detox. He already sounds better. He will be there another 3-4 days and then he is enrolled in an intensive out-patient programs. We have dealt with his alcoholism for the las two years and I was really giving up hope. Finally he admitted his problem and agreed to go to rehab. I am tr...

Reece · Reece

Me again... Just asking for any opinions on which book related to Al-anon you would recommend the most. I'm looking to buy just one book right now (or check it out from the library) as I'm in a really tight financial situation currently. So what book would you recommend the most for someone new to Al-a...

Hopeless in AZ · Hopeless in AZ

Hello, I am new here and would like to share my story and get any advice/support and or hear from others who can relate. I grew up with an alcoholic father all my life. He isn't the kind that drinks everyday but rather has a binge once, twice, or three times a year, usually lasting between 2-4 weeks. Someti...

still searching · still searching

I am calling a attorney today to set up a appointment so I can find out where I stand on legal and money issues. I want to have a full time job with benefits so that I can take care of myself and the children. I have not worked for the last 10 years, as I have been a stay at home Mom. I really was trying to wait to do a...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Well I've been having one of those "moments" when I know I must be getting better. I've had a very busy weekend and start of the week with no end in sight. Most of you know that I work retail, and right now it is the second busiest time of the year for footwear next to back to schoo...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am about 50-60% moved. there is of course numerous stuff that is left "hanging" as normal with the A. He can't have any pressure put on him but doesn't seem to feel the same way about putting pressure on me. The issue is for me that I am still looking for him to spring forth as the man he claimed t...

Seeker · Seeker

My son is 47 years old and an alcoholic. He's been drinking since he was 17. Needless to say, I've learned a lot over the years, but , maybe not enough? Let me say here that he has a genetic disposition for mental disorders. The worst (at least known) is bi-polar with manic overtones.Several bl...

kicky · kicky

I'm dating again, after 7 years with my ex-A. Ironically, this new person(an old friend)is in AA and has been sober 2 years. Long history...enough said. But the issue here is me. I'm trying to manipulate this relationship. It is obvious he likes me. And he likes my attention. But he is very concentrate...

babysteps · babysteps

He is so emotionally fragile that I can't share the burden of anything with him. If our finances suck (which they do, in a very scary way), it is my responsibility. If I am feeling low, afraid, lonely, mad...my problem. Last week I wrote about how he has recognized that he reacts too strongly to how I am fe...

babysteps · babysteps

I am having a tough one. I am having my period to begin with (sorry guys), and my hormones are making it hard to cope with reality. My AH has been on another bender. It's kind of funny that I call it that because in reality he drinks non-stop for 3 weeks until he is sick as a dog, spends a few days recovering, th...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

She cuts herself too, like I used to. Self Mutililation. Another issue that makes me want someone to untie my hands about all this. I don't have custody of her and am in no shape to be there for her 24/7.

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, I was awakened by a call this morning from my A husband's new $20 an hr. job asking if I had seen him, he hasn't been to work in two days and this is their emergency contact... I had to tell them sorry don't know... I called his sponsor and he had kicked him out on Friday I guess for being...

EarthAngel · EarthAngel

I recently found out Iam pregnant. Ive been married for one year now and the marriage has been both wonderful and challenging. My husband is addicted to pot. Now, I am worried about bringing a baby into this situation. I am feeling sick to my stomach every time I smell the pot smoke now. I worry that my hus...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

It's funny because this round of sobriety I've actually lost count of the days. I hope that's a plus. I get loving phone calls everday, I get sweet text messages. Our every other weekend visits are going better then planned. The kids are seeing a new couple blossom before their little eyes. Having him l...

serendipity · serendipity

the psycologist from my 12 year old's schol called today. someone's mom called her and told her that my daughter has been "cutting" herself. i met a girl last year who was a "cutter" she had alot of other problems but cutting herself was her compulsion. i was blindsided by this in...

lilms · lilms

((((Friends))))) It is March 27th. I just found out a few minutes ago that yet another person I have known for years and whom I loved died on March 18th. He died of liver failure (not alcohol related). On top of being shocked and incredibly sad I am also perplexed and possibly a little angry. ...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I am angry, scared, upset, worried, and just about out of my mind. My 15 year old daughter got 5 days suspension from school for drinking at school.... Oh my God! I never thought she would pull something like this. She is very dark, goth, and troubled, but never had anything like this happen. A friend tol...

LucyFurr · LucyFurr

im new at this whole "spilling my problems" thing, i spoke to a veteran al-anon member tonite on the phone, instead of a meeting, we both felt that this board would work better for now...baby steps. i grew up with an alcoholic mother, an EXTREME alcoholic. it took me the better part of 26 year...

stephie · stephie

I've never posted here or been to an alanon meeting, or even talked to anyone. It's a long story so I'll just hit the basics and ask my question. My husband has a drinking problem. I wouldn't care so much except he is a MEAN drunk. He quit for 6 mos on his own after...: A) he threatened to beat the crap out of me...

jaja · jaja

It's my birthday today and for some reason, every year on this day, I get a lump in my throat and get a little teary. Not because I'm a year older (omigod). I fact, I'm not even sure why but I do believe it has to do with co-dependency. On this particular day I just feel more unloved and lonel...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((((Everyone)))) We actually had a car for the Pinewood Derby, lol. One thing I didn't mention is that we were missing one of the nails that hold the tires on. They are so strict that we couldn't use just any nail, I thought well we'll make due some how. We had place the 4 tires and 3 nails...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

STEP 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to god as we understood him. I suppose alot of this problem is that I have been a reletively committed atheist for a while now. I mean I can be pretty open minded about theology, but I do not have what people call FAITH. I just don't. Maybe I have b...

albertarose · albertarose

A few days ago I posted that my AH and I have split up again due to his addictions and verbal abuse. It's been just over a week and I am doing well but I feel he is not. I went to an open AA meeting on Friday March 22 with some Al anon friends and he was there. I was pleased to see that he was there, as he has not b...

lilms · lilms

(((((((Friends))))))) I found this while sorting out my desk yesterday and thought I would share it with you all. It sums up for me perfectly what alanon is all about and what we can find in listening and learning from each other. A Hasidic story tells of a man who went for a walk in the forest and got lost...

QOD · QOD

My AH has been out of jail for one week. He said he will NOT go back. He was really angry the 1st part of the week but the anger was moving aside a bit more as the days went by. He text messages me constantly. He tells me all the normal promises and sorrys. Standard procedure. He went out and bought me and th...

Rita G · Rita G

Powerless - some days that word seems so hopeless. Like such a sad word. Powerless. I remember when I first started this journey of recovery, I was grateful for Step 1 - That I was powerless over alcohol/drugs and the people that it affected. That it wasn't my fault. I wasn't responsible...

Demilas · Demilas

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring; It means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, It is the realization that I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, But to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means th...

TLC2 · TLC2

As I was praying for my son last night, I was thinking of all of you, and wishing I could contact you, so you could add your prayers to mine. I knew you certainly would if you knew I needed them! HP has answered so many of my prayers already! My son was in an accident at work and had a meat-eating chemical splas...

emma · emma

Does anyone know the reality/rules in al anon around whether in order to provide service at the district level or higher that a loss of anonimity is part of the deal? How does anonimity and acting in service as a group rep or district rep or higher in the state -- what's been your experience in how...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) I've been laying low lately but still reading and keeping up with everyone. Lately I have felt like I didn't have much insight to contribute, just felt so drained and depressed. I did take some good direction from my therapist and my AH and saw my PMD and got some medication...

Becky1 · Becky1

Hubby called my cell phone today (while I was sitting in a movie) and I didn't answer it. After the show was over, he had sent me a voice mail, and said "I just wondered if you were ok.

I saw your car still at the house when I was on my way to work this morning. ( I called off due to a migrain...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm not really sure why but I have been on some kind of self destruct rampage for the past couple of months. I have been going out every weekend drinking and dancing and just getting out of the house. Most of the time alone. I have been smoking when I drink (I quit over a year ago) and now it's cre...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))))))))) Spoke to the GSO, today. I have applied about opening up a Saturday night face to face meeting....And It looks positive....I have a night and a time. I have a possibile venue...So It looks good for me... This is giving me a focus....Just what I need... Pl...

Becky1 · Becky1

I went to an open AA meeting last night, as could not find any Alanon meetings on Sat. night. Had to drive 25 miles each way just to get to this open AA meeting! The man who gave the lead read a letter something likethis.....and passed out copies. I don't know where it came from, as he didn't say...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((((Everyone)))))) When I first heard this song I was reminded of all the wonderful people in this program that kept me going on days I was sure I was going to die. My pain was huge, I'll never forget it. I remember telling someone as I sat on the steps of my deck that I really thought I was going to d...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am in the process of moving still. I do not really know what the A is doing whether he will maI ke it through his own transition so I am trying to be able to take as much as I can. I cannot rely on the A for much he is so scattered. My heart is full of grief. At the same time I know I hit a wall where I could not try anym...

Miranda · Miranda

I've been writing alot lately, after the kids are asleep... Innocent Dreams There once was a girl, Who was hurt and confused, She fell into love, Was hurt and abused. For years she just smiled, Pulled on her coat, Kept her head up, She learned how to cope. One day she walked out, She stepped out that d...

irish54 · irish54

Dear Family, Thought I would let you know my daughter who is a Sr in High School this year came by today to show off her tatoo. lol Not sure what she expected from us but we looked at it and said it looked nice but didn't want one for ourselves. She said she was surprised..she expected us to go off. lol...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I posted last week. I so appreciate the responses. Hard as they are to hear sometimes. Someone had posted that we Alanoners stay in the blame game saying our unhappiness is all the A's fault. I could see that in my post when I reread what I had written. It is kinda like a chess game - when h...

Phil · Phil

(Hurt - Bitterness - Injustice - Abused Pain) We feel emotional pain when we do not get what we want, need, or expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse, injustice or simply emotional pain. In such cases, we have not received the behavior or outcomes we expected or believed we deserv...

CJ · CJ

(((family))) i haven't posted very often, lately, but wanted to let you all know that you are in my prayers. i will be deployed for a little while (couple weeks), and wanted to share some HOPE. i continue to attend face to face meetings (4 a week, usually), make program calls to new and old "fa...

derfsvic · derfsvic

It has only been 3 weeks since I was told about my brothers problems. My parents and my family and another brother - we all live in West Virginia. My brother with the problems lives in Utah. Being so far away he has lied and kept secrets for several years we are finding out now. It was only in the 4 - 6 weeks tha...

melamom815 · melamom815

Hello Everyone! Been a while since I have been here. I have been so busy lately. First off, my pregnancy is going very well. I am finally getting over the sickness part and feeling more and more energy everyday. Nearly to the half way mark! I am very excited about that. lol. Still don't know w...

arty · arty

The day that i decided to buy him out of our property was a day of strength. i knew i could do it! And i knew he was upset that it has come to this but i didnt want to keep a property under a joint name, as it was going to keep me connected to him for as long as that was OURS. We dont have kids, so i dont have to see him fo...

ditto · ditto

April 30, 2006 I told my AH that he had to leave our home. June 6, 2006 the divorce was finalized. It is almost a year since the last time I have seen him. It is almost a year since I have been divorced. I have tried for this entire time to be sorry that he is gone. I have tried to grieve the end of the marriag...

Becky1 · Becky1

OK, HP. I give up. I keep praying and asking you for a sign of what I should do. I must be deaf, blind, and mentally challenged........ Those of you who know me, know I have been in and around Alanon for a little over a year. I actually went to a few meetings 20+ years ago, when I was married to another A. Bu...

shadow1 · shadow1

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Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	People Pleasing....Having Trouble Saying "NO" ? (Preview) by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist, 2001(originally published at BodyTalk Magazine.com, Aug. 2001) Do you have trouble saying NO? Do you do things for other people but almost never ask anybody to do things for you? You may be a people pleaser. People pleasers think of other peoples needs before...	Phil	4	1283	Mar 30, 2007 by annmarie
	Newbie here...warning, this is gonna be LONG... (Preview) Okay ladies and gents...This is my first time here. My name is Teresa. I'm a 27 year old Michiganian married to an alcoholic who is in total denial of his disease and becoming increasingly depressed, angry, and emotionally abusive. Here's the long story about how I ended up here: Sunday night I we...	Reece	12	724	Mar 29, 2007 by maresie2
	They won't give me the check... (Preview) But at least I tried!	carolinagirl	8	941	Mar 29, 2007 by maresie2
	Still Powerless (Preview) Yes, my dear friends, Today again, I am still powerless over people, places, things and situations. That beautiful eldest daughter. Let's call her AG. AG was arrested. She was already on probation, now a possible federal offense. We, her family, refused to bail her out. Her abusive boyfriend...	Rita G	6	630	Mar 29, 2007 by Karilynn
	Update.... (Preview) Well I got the car and wish I wouldn't have. It is missing 3rd and 4th gear so I really can't even sell it now. I took my new friend from work to get it and hopefully didn't scare her off with the 50 rum bottles and needles that were all over. It was truly awful and so embarrassing. I have been feeling resen...	carolinagirl	8	705	Mar 29, 2007 by aunitedway
	IS THIS NORMAL (Preview) Hi Family, I dont post often but im with you all every day reading and i hope learning,i have a question i hope you can help me with. We have been back together now since xmas,in this time our house has been drink free. Things have been a hundred percent better,he is doing his best to please ,but with no job,...	ollie	4	560	Mar 29, 2007 by ollie
	My week has absolutely SUCKED...and I can't stop laughing! (Preview) Oh this week has abosolutely SUCKED. Just sucked. First there were the phone messages on my cell from the past 48 hours. A sampling: "I've decided that, in light of your behavior and attitude, it would just be best for everyone if you just didn't come home anymore. Just call me when the tuition...	Tiger2006	6	610	Mar 29, 2007 by debilyn
	Still shaking my head..... (Preview) It's sad how this rotten disease progresses, slowly but surely. As many of you may remember my A and I are separated, we have 3 children and when he is sober he is welcome to spend time with us all. (He is a binge drinker) Our 16yo daughter is proving to be handful with the usual teen rebellion. Anyway had a...	Feather	5	502	Mar 29, 2007 by Tiger2006
	New here (Preview) My name is Danielle and Im 31 years old. Ive been married for almost 6 years, but weve been together for 12. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and Im 6 months pregnant w/ our 2nd girl. My husband just currently realized hes an alcoholic. I always knew something was different, but obviously I cannot tell him...	DanieH	8	621	Mar 29, 2007 by carosie
	Moving on... (Preview) Hello I just wanted to give you a quick update. I haven't been posting much lately. My divorce from my A/Cokehead husband was finalized in court on Monday. It wasn't easy... but it's done. It was supposed to be final last Monday, but at the very last minute (last Monday morning), my AH hired a lawyer...	artygirl	7	608	Mar 29, 2007 by artygirl
	One Year (Preview) It has been one year ago today that I joined the wonderful MIP family. Wow, seems like a lot longer. Just wanted to take a moment to say "Thanks" Thanks for adding to my recovery. I have gained so much just by being a member. I have been able to do some service work, learned more about Al-Anon, ge...	Rita G	6	549	Mar 29, 2007 by maire rua
	He's in jail again and the car is impounded... (Preview) Well now I'm kicking myself in the hiney for giving him that car as myself and my new coworker friend have to go out to myrtle beach today to pick it up from the impound. I got the call from him last night, he's in jail. This time for larceny, maybe more we'll see. The cop asked me if he was diabetic, apparentl...	carolinagirl	8	651	Mar 29, 2007 by maire rua
	UPDATE ON SON (Preview) Took son back to the city to see the specialist. He has inflamation in his eye and was given a steroid for it. The doc couldn't tell us yet how he is going to make out as far as his vision is concerned. I went back to son's last night to give him his meds (he isn't able to do it himself) while his fiancee wasat wor...	TLC2	4	599	Mar 28, 2007 by wp
	My husband is currently in detox (Preview) This is his third day in detox. He already sounds better. He will be there another 3-4 days and then he is enrolled in an intensive out-patient programs. We have dealt with his alcoholism for the las two years and I was really giving up hope. Finally he admitted his problem and agreed to go to rehab. I am tr...	sash	8	706	Mar 28, 2007 by sash
	Newbie strikes again (Preview) Me again... Just asking for any opinions on which book related to Al-anon you would recommend the most. I'm looking to buy just one book right now (or check it out from the library) as I'm in a really tight financial situation currently. So what book would you recommend the most for someone new to Al-a...	Reece	5	535	Mar 28, 2007 by canadianguy
	My Story....... (Preview) Hello, I am new here and would like to share my story and get any advice/support and or hear from others who can relate. I grew up with an alcoholic father all my life. He isn't the kind that drinks everyday but rather has a binge once, twice, or three times a year, usually lasting between 2-4 weeks. Someti...	Hopeless in AZ	7	892	Mar 28, 2007 by Hopeless in AZ
	attorney (Preview) I am calling a attorney today to set up a appointment so I can find out where I stand on legal and money issues. I want to have a full time job with benefits so that I can take care of myself and the children. I have not worked for the last 10 years, as I have been a stay at home Mom. I really was trying to wait to do a...	still searching	6	1679	Mar 28, 2007 by Leetle
	Learning to say NO w/o the guilt. (Preview) ((((Family)))), Well I've been having one of those "moments" when I know I must be getting better. I've had a very busy weekend and start of the week with no end in sight. Most of you know that I work retail, and right now it is the second busiest time of the year for footwear next to back to schoo...	Karilynn	4	670	Mar 28, 2007 by Rita G
	when you are out the door and still looking for him to change (Preview) I am about 50-60% moved. there is of course numerous stuff that is left "hanging" as normal with the A. He can't have any pressure put on him but doesn't seem to feel the same way about putting pressure on me. The issue is for me that I am still looking for him to spring forth as the man he claimed t...	maresie2	6	623	Mar 28, 2007 by maresie2
	need information (Preview) My son is 47 years old and an alcoholic. He's been drinking since he was 17. Needless to say, I've learned a lot over the years, but , maybe not enough? Let me say here that he has a genetic disposition for mental disorders. The worst (at least known) is bi-polar with manic overtones.Several bl...	Seeker	9	669	Mar 28, 2007 by canadianguy
	Still trying to control...when will I learn? (Preview) I'm dating again, after 7 years with my ex-A. Ironically, this new person(an old friend)is in AA and has been sober 2 years. Long history...enough said. But the issue here is me. I'm trying to manipulate this relationship. It is obvious he likes me. And he likes my attention. But he is very concentrate...	kicky	3	539	Mar 28, 2007 by Rita G
	One more thing... (Preview) He is so emotionally fragile that I can't share the burden of anything with him. If our finances suck (which they do, in a very scary way), it is my responsibility. If I am feeling low, afraid, lonely, mad...my problem. Last week I wrote about how he has recognized that he reacts too strongly to how I am fe...	babysteps	1	373	Mar 28, 2007 by Rita G
	Having a hard day (Preview) I am having a tough one. I am having my period to begin with (sorry guys), and my hormones are making it hard to cope with reality. My AH has been on another bender. It's kind of funny that I call it that because in reality he drinks non-stop for 3 weeks until he is sick as a dog, spends a few days recovering, th...	babysteps	2	432	Mar 28, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Something dangerous I did not mention about my daughter (Preview) She cuts herself too, like I used to. Self Mutililation. Another issue that makes me want someone to untie my hands about all this. I don't have custody of her and am in no shape to be there for her 24/7.	hippietrippiechick	4	637	Mar 28, 2007 by hippietrippiechick
	got a call this morning... (Preview) Well, I was awakened by a call this morning from my A husband's new $20 an hr. job asking if I had seen him, he hasn't been to work in two days and this is their emergency contact... I had to tell them sorry don't know... I called his sponsor and he had kicked him out on Friday I guess for being...	carolinagirl	5	646	Mar 28, 2007 by TLC2
	Recent Pregnancy (Preview) I recently found out Iam pregnant. Ive been married for one year now and the marriage has been both wonderful and challenging. My husband is addicted to pot. Now, I am worried about bringing a baby into this situation. I am feeling sick to my stomach every time I smell the pot smoke now. I worry that my hus...	EarthAngel	3	557	Mar 28, 2007 by Rita G
	My hope is still floating :) (Preview) It's funny because this round of sobriety I've actually lost count of the days. I hope that's a plus. I get loving phone calls everday, I get sweet text messages. Our every other weekend visits are going better then planned. The kids are seeing a new couple blossom before their little eyes. Having him l...	Friendofyours	4	438	Mar 28, 2007 by Friendofyours
	i did it again!(kinda long) (Preview) the psycologist from my 12 year old's schol called today. someone's mom called her and told her that my daughter has been "cutting" herself. i met a girl last year who was a "cutter" she had alot of other problems but cutting herself was her compulsion. i was blindsided by this in...	serendipity	4	524	Mar 28, 2007 by carolinagirl
	ESH Needed, not alcohol related, sorry long (Preview) ((((Friends))))) It is March 27th. I just found out a few minutes ago that yet another person I have known for years and whom I loved died on March 18th. He died of liver failure (not alcohol related). On top of being shocked and incredibly sad I am also perplexed and possibly a little angry. ...	lilms	5	546	Mar 28, 2007 by Rita G
	new problem with my daughter and alcohol ESH please (Preview) I am angry, scared, upset, worried, and just about out of my mind. My 15 year old daughter got 5 days suspension from school for drinking at school.... Oh my God! I never thought she would pull something like this. She is very dark, goth, and troubled, but never had anything like this happen. A friend tol...	hippietrippiechick	5	622	Mar 28, 2007 by hippietrippiechick
	here goes nothing..... (Preview) im new at this whole "spilling my problems" thing, i spoke to a veteran al-anon member tonite on the phone, instead of a meeting, we both felt that this board would work better for now...baby steps. i grew up with an alcoholic mother, an EXTREME alcoholic. it took me the better part of 26 year...	LucyFurr	13	3819	Mar 28, 2007 by LucyFurr
	Can anybody help me? (Preview) I've never posted here or been to an alanon meeting, or even talked to anyone. It's a long story so I'll just hit the basics and ask my question. My husband has a drinking problem. I wouldn't care so much except he is a MEAN drunk. He quit for 6 mos on his own after...: A) he threatened to beat the crap out of me...	stephie	8	686	Mar 27, 2007 by nmike
	I've got the co-dependent birthday blues... (Preview) It's my birthday today and for some reason, every year on this day, I get a lump in my throat and get a little teary. Not because I'm a year older (omigod). I fact, I'm not even sure why but I do believe it has to do with co-dependency. On this particular day I just feel more unloved and lonel...	jaja	9	701	Mar 27, 2007 by maresie2
	A God/Hp thing? :-) (Preview) (((((Everyone)))) We actually had a car for the Pinewood Derby, lol. One thing I didn't mention is that we were missing one of the nails that hold the tires on. They are so strict that we couldn't use just any nail, I thought well we'll make due some how. We had place the 4 tires and 3 nails...	Lunamoth	8	613	Mar 27, 2007 by wp
	Step 3 = not for me (Preview) STEP 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to god as we understood him. I suppose alot of this problem is that I have been a reletively committed atheist for a while now. I mean I can be pretty open minded about theology, but I do not have what people call FAITH. I just don't. Maybe I have b...	RainyJamie	15	947	Mar 27, 2007 by wp
	I think my A needs more help than what he is receiving (Preview) A few days ago I posted that my AH and I have split up again due to his addictions and verbal abuse. It's been just over a week and I am doing well but I feel he is not. I went to an open AA meeting on Friday March 22 with some Al anon friends and he was there. I was pleased to see that he was there, as he has not b...	albertarose	8	873	Mar 27, 2007 by albertarose
	How I view alanon (Preview) (((((((Friends))))))) I found this while sorting out my desk yesterday and thought I would share it with you all. It sums up for me perfectly what alanon is all about and what we can find in listening and learning from each other. A Hasidic story tells of a man who went for a walk in the forest and got lost...	lilms	4	550	Mar 27, 2007 by david62
	Setting the AH free (Preview) My AH has been out of jail for one week. He said he will NOT go back. He was really angry the 1st part of the week but the anger was moving aside a bit more as the days went by. He text messages me constantly. He tells me all the normal promises and sorrys. Standard procedure. He went out and bought me and th...	QOD	6	709	Mar 27, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Powerless (Preview) Powerless - some days that word seems so hopeless. Like such a sad word. Powerless. I remember when I first started this journey of recovery, I was grateful for Step 1 - That I was powerless over alcohol/drugs and the people that it affected. That it wasn't my fault. I wasn't responsible...	Rita G	6	595	Mar 27, 2007 by Rita G
	Letting Go, by Kay Lafley (Preview) To let go doesn't mean to stop caring; It means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, It is the realization that I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, But to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means th...	Demilas	1	1790	Mar 27, 2007 by diamond
	Prayers Please (Preview) As I was praying for my son last night, I was thinking of all of you, and wishing I could contact you, so you could add your prayers to mine. I knew you certainly would if you knew I needed them! HP has answered so many of my prayers already! My son was in an accident at work and had a meat-eating chemical splas...	TLC2	12	790	Mar 26, 2007 by aunitedway
	anonimity (Preview) Does anyone know the reality/rules in al anon around whether in order to provide service at the district level or higher that a loss of anonimity is part of the deal? How does anonimity and acting in service as a group rep or district rep or higher in the state -- what's been your experience in how...	emma	4	595	Mar 26, 2007 by bobump
	As time goes by I'm feeling better (Preview) (((MIP Family))) I've been laying low lately but still reading and keeping up with everyone. Lately I have felt like I didn't have much insight to contribute, just felt so drained and depressed. I did take some good direction from my therapist and my AH and saw my PMD and got some medication...	twinmom2	3	583	Mar 26, 2007 by Tiger2006
	He called.... (Preview) Hubby called my cell phone today (while I was sitting in a movie) and I didn't answer it. After the show was over, he had sent me a voice mail, and said "I just wondered if you were ok.I saw your car still at the house when I was on my way to work this morning. ( I called off due to a migrain...	Becky1	2	589	Mar 26, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Self Destruct (Preview) I'm not really sure why but I have been on some kind of self destruct rampage for the past couple of months. I have been going out every weekend drinking and dancing and just getting out of the house. Most of the time alone. I have been smoking when I drink (I quit over a year ago) and now it's cre...	carolinagirl	11	558	Mar 26, 2007 by lin0606
	ALLY'S GOAL (Preview) ((((((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))))))))) Spoke to the GSO, today. I have applied about opening up a Saturday night face to face meeting....And It looks positive....I have a night and a time. I have a possibile venue...So It looks good for me... This is giving me a focus....Just what I need... Pl...	ally	2	516	Mar 26, 2007 by Barbs45
	The Disease Speaks (Preview) I went to an open AA meeting last night, as could not find any Alanon meetings on Sat. night. Had to drive 25 miles each way just to get to this open AA meeting! The man who gave the lead read a letter something likethis.....and passed out copies. I don't know where it came from, as he didn't say...	Becky1	10	890	Mar 26, 2007 by Diva
	Keep holding on... (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) When I first heard this song I was reminded of all the wonderful people in this program that kept me going on days I was sure I was going to die. My pain was huge, I'll never forget it. I remember telling someone as I sat on the steps of my deck that I really thought I was going to d...	Lunamoth	2	494	Mar 26, 2007 by Becky1
	being in transition (Preview) I am in the process of moving still. I do not really know what the A is doing whether he will maI ke it through his own transition so I am trying to be able to take as much as I can. I cannot rely on the A for much he is so scattered. My heart is full of grief. At the same time I know I hit a wall where I could not try anym...	maresie2	5	552	Mar 26, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Writing the lyrics to my life (Preview) I've been writing alot lately, after the kids are asleep... Innocent Dreams There once was a girl, Who was hurt and confused, She fell into love, Was hurt and abused. For years she just smiled, Pulled on her coat, Kept her head up, She learned how to cope. One day she walked out, She stepped out that d...	Miranda	3	663	Mar 26, 2007 by Rita G
	tatoo (Preview) Dear Family, Thought I would let you know my daughter who is a Sr in High School this year came by today to show off her tatoo. lol Not sure what she expected from us but we looked at it and said it looked nice but didn't want one for ourselves. She said she was surprised..she expected us to go off. lol...	irish54	5	483	Mar 26, 2007 by irish54
	Beginning to understand.... (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I posted last week. I so appreciate the responses. Hard as they are to hear sometimes. Someone had posted that we Alanoners stay in the blame game saying our unhappiness is all the A's fault. I could see that in my post when I reread what I had written. It is kinda like a chess game - when h...	nmike	4	681	Mar 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	Dealing With Emotional Pain (Preview) (Hurt - Bitterness - Injustice - Abused Pain) We feel emotional pain when we do not get what we want, need, or expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse, injustice or simply emotional pain. In such cases, we have not received the behavior or outcomes we expected or believed we deserv...	Phil	4	894	Mar 26, 2007 by browneyes
	leaving on a jet plane (Preview) (((family))) i haven't posted very often, lately, but wanted to let you all know that you are in my prayers. i will be deployed for a little while (couple weeks), and wanted to share some HOPE. i continue to attend face to face meetings (4 a week, usually), make program calls to new and old "fa...	CJ	15	783	Mar 26, 2007 by Rita G
	Have no idea what we are doing or what to do.....we are on a wing and a prayer (Preview) It has only been 3 weeks since I was told about my brothers problems. My parents and my family and another brother - we all live in West Virginia. My brother with the problems lives in Utah. Being so far away he has lied and kept secrets for several years we are finding out now. It was only in the 4 - 6 weeks tha...	derfsvic	4	644	Mar 26, 2007 by lin0606
	Just a little update (Preview) Hello Everyone! Been a while since I have been here. I have been so busy lately. First off, my pregnancy is going very well. I am finally getting over the sickness part and feeling more and more energy everyday. Nearly to the half way mark! I am very excited about that. lol. Still don't know w...	melamom815	5	629	Mar 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	i thought the hard days were over (Preview) The day that i decided to buy him out of our property was a day of strength. i knew i could do it! And i knew he was upset that it has come to this but i didnt want to keep a property under a joint name, as it was going to keep me connected to him for as long as that was OURS. We dont have kids, so i dont have to see him fo...	arty	12	795	Mar 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	Almost a year (Preview) April 30, 2006 I told my AH that he had to leave our home. June 6, 2006 the divorce was finalized. It is almost a year since the last time I have seen him. It is almost a year since I have been divorced. I have tried for this entire time to be sorry that he is gone. I have tried to grieve the end of the marriag...	ditto	4	647	Mar 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	HP Has Started a Work in Me(very long, sorry) (Preview) OK, HP. I give up. I keep praying and asking you for a sign of what I should do. I must be deaf, blind, and mentally challenged........ Those of you who know me, know I have been in and around Alanon for a little over a year. I actually went to a few meetings 20+ years ago, when I was married to another A. Bu...	Becky1	7	664	Mar 25, 2007 by nmike
	Mike you have a message (Preview) Please check your message box.	shadow1	0	381	Mar 25, 2007 by shadow1
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.