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My Story.......
(Preview)
Hello, I am new here and would like to share my story and get any advice/support and or hear from others who can relate. I grew up with an alcoholic father all my life. He isn't the kind that drinks everyday but rather has a binge once, twice, or three times a year, usually lasting between 2-4 weeks. Someti...
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Hopeless in AZ
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7
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863
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attorney
(Preview)
I am calling a attorney today to set up a appointment so I can find out where I stand on legal and money issues. I want to have a full time job with benefits so that I can take care of myself and the children. I have not worked for the last 10 years, as I have been a stay at home Mom. I really was trying to wait to do a...
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still searching
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6
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1618
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Learning to say NO w/o the guilt.
(Preview)
((((Family)))), Well I've been having one of those "moments" when I know I must be getting better. I've had a very busy weekend and start of the week with no end in sight. Most of you know that I work retail, and right now it is the second busiest time of the year for footwear next to back to schoo...
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Karilynn
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4
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652
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when you are out the door and still looking for him to change
(Preview)
I am about 50-60% moved. there is of course numerous stuff that is left "hanging" as normal with the A. He can't have any pressure put on him but doesn't seem to feel the same way about putting pressure on me. The issue is for me that I am still looking for him to spring forth as the man he claimed t...
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maresie2
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6
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596
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need information
(Preview)
My son is 47 years old and an alcoholic. He's been drinking since he was 17. Needless to say, I've learned a lot over the years, but , maybe not enough? Let me say here that he has a genetic disposition for mental disorders. The worst (at least known) is bi-polar with manic overtones.Several bl...
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Seeker
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9
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650
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Still trying to control...when will I learn?
(Preview)
I'm dating again, after 7 years with my ex-A. Ironically, this new person(an old friend)is in AA and has been sober 2 years. Long history...enough said. But the issue here is me. I'm trying to manipulate this relationship. It is obvious he likes me. And he likes my attention. But he is very concentrate...
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kicky
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3
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518
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One more thing...
(Preview)
He is so emotionally fragile that I can't share the burden of anything with him. If our finances suck (which they do, in a very scary way), it is my responsibility. If I am feeling low, afraid, lonely, mad...my problem. Last week I wrote about how he has recognized that he reacts too strongly to how I am fe...
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babysteps
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1
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352
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Having a hard day
(Preview)
I am having a tough one. I am having my period to begin with (sorry guys), and my hormones are making it hard to cope with reality. My AH has been on another bender. It's kind of funny that I call it that because in reality he drinks non-stop for 3 weeks until he is sick as a dog, spends a few days recovering, th...
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babysteps
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2
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410
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Something dangerous I did not mention about my daughter
(Preview)
She cuts herself too, like I used to. Self Mutililation. Another issue that makes me want someone to untie my hands about all this. I don't have custody of her and am in no shape to be there for her 24/7.
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hippietrippiechick
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4
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618
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got a call this morning...
(Preview)
Well, I was awakened by a call this morning from my A husband's new $20 an hr. job asking if I had seen him, he hasn't been to work in two days and this is their emergency contact... I had to tell them sorry don't know... I called his sponsor and he had kicked him out on Friday I guess for being...
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carolinagirl
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5
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626
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Recent Pregnancy
(Preview)
I recently found out Iam pregnant. Ive been married for one year now and the marriage has been both wonderful and challenging. My husband is addicted to pot. Now, I am worried about bringing a baby into this situation. I am feeling sick to my stomach every time I smell the pot smoke now. I worry that my hus...
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EarthAngel
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3
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540
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My hope is still floating :)
(Preview)
It's funny because this round of sobriety I've actually lost count of the days. I hope that's a plus. I get loving phone calls everday, I get sweet text messages. Our every other weekend visits are going better then planned. The kids are seeing a new couple blossom before their little eyes. Having him l...
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Friendofyours
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4
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421
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i did it again!(kinda long)
(Preview)
the psycologist from my 12 year old's schol called today. someone's mom called her and told her that my daughter has been "cutting" herself. i met a girl last year who was a "cutter" she had alot of other problems but cutting herself was her compulsion. i was blindsided by this in...
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serendipity
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4
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506
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ESH Needed, not alcohol related, sorry long
(Preview)
((((Friends)))))
It is March 27th. I just found out a few minutes ago that yet another person I have known for years and whom I loved died on March 18th.
He died of liver failure (not alcohol related). On top of being shocked and incredibly sad I am also perplexed and possibly a little angry.
...
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lilms
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5
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523
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new problem with my daughter and alcohol ESH please
(Preview)
I am angry, scared, upset, worried, and just about out of my mind. My 15 year old daughter got 5 days suspension from school for drinking at school.... Oh my God! I never thought she would pull something like this. She is very dark, goth, and troubled, but never had anything like this happen. A friend tol...
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hippietrippiechick
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5
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603
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here goes nothing.....
(Preview)
im new at this whole "spilling my problems" thing, i spoke to a veteran al-anon member tonite on the phone, instead of a meeting, we both felt that this board would work better for now...baby steps. i grew up with an alcoholic mother, an EXTREME alcoholic. it took me the better part of 26 year...
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LucyFurr
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13
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3689
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Can anybody help me?
(Preview)
I've never posted here or been to an alanon meeting, or even talked to anyone. It's a long story so I'll just hit the basics and ask my question. My husband has a drinking problem. I wouldn't care so much except he is a MEAN drunk. He quit for 6 mos on his own after...: A) he threatened to beat the crap out of me...
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stephie
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8
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663
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I've got the co-dependent birthday blues...
(Preview)
It's my birthday today and for some reason, every year on this day, I get a lump in my throat and get a little teary. Not because I'm a year older (omigod). I fact, I'm not even sure why but I do believe it has to do with co-dependency. On this particular day I just feel more unloved and lonel...
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jaja
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9
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681
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A God/Hp thing? :-)
(Preview)
(((((Everyone)))) We actually had a car for the Pinewood Derby, lol. One thing I didn't mention is that we were missing one of the nails that hold the tires on. They are so strict that we couldn't use just any nail, I thought well we'll make due some how. We had place the 4 tires and 3 nails...
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Lunamoth
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8
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593
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Step 3 = not for me
(Preview)
STEP 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to god as we understood him. I suppose alot of this problem is that I have been a reletively committed atheist for a while now. I mean I can be pretty open minded about theology, but I do not have what people call FAITH. I just don't. Maybe I have b...
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RainyJamie
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15
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926
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I think my A needs more help than what he is receiving
(Preview)
A few days ago I posted that my AH and I have split up again due to his addictions and verbal abuse. It's been just over a week and I am doing well but I feel he is not. I went to an open AA meeting on Friday March 22 with some Al anon friends and he was there. I was pleased to see that he was there, as he has not b...
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albertarose
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8
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852
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How I view alanon
(Preview)
(((((((Friends))))))) I found this while sorting out my desk yesterday and thought I would share it with you all. It sums up for me perfectly what alanon is all about and what we can find in listening and learning from each other. A Hasidic story tells of a man who went for a walk in the forest and got lost...
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lilms
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4
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529
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Setting the AH free
(Preview)
My AH has been out of jail for one week. He said he will NOT go back. He was really angry the 1st part of the week but the anger was moving aside a bit more as the days went by. He text messages me constantly. He tells me all the normal promises and sorrys. Standard procedure. He went out and bought me and th...
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QOD
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6
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688
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Powerless
(Preview)
Powerless - some days that word seems so hopeless. Like such a sad word. Powerless. I remember when I first started this journey of recovery, I was grateful for Step 1 - That I was powerless over alcohol/drugs and the people that it affected. That it wasn't my fault. I wasn't responsible...
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Rita G
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6
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573
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Letting Go, by Kay Lafley
(Preview)
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring; It means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, It is the realization that I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, But to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means th...
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Demilas
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1
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1701
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Prayers Please
(Preview)
As I was praying for my son last night, I was thinking of all of you, and wishing I could contact you, so you could add your prayers to mine. I knew you certainly would if you knew I needed them! HP has answered so many of my prayers already! My son was in an accident at work and had a meat-eating chemical splas...
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TLC2
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12
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770
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anonimity
(Preview)
Does anyone know the reality/rules in al anon around whether in order to provide service at the district level or higher that a loss of anonimity is part of the deal? How does anonimity and acting in service as a group rep or district rep or higher in the state -- what's been your experience in how...
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emma
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4
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574
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As time goes by I'm feeling better
(Preview)
(((MIP Family))) I've been laying low lately but still reading and keeping up with everyone. Lately I have felt like I didn't have much insight to contribute, just felt so drained and depressed. I did take some good direction from my therapist and my AH and saw my PMD and got some medication...
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twinmom2
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3
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565
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He called....
(Preview)
Hubby called my cell phone today (while I was sitting in a movie) and I didn't answer it. After the show was over, he had sent me a voice mail, and said "I just wondered if you were ok. I saw your car still at the house when I was on my way to work this morning. ( I called off due to a migrain...
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Becky1
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2
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564
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Self Destruct
(Preview)
I'm not really sure why but I have been on some kind of self destruct rampage for the past couple of months. I have been going out every weekend drinking and dancing and just getting out of the house. Most of the time alone. I have been smoking when I drink (I quit over a year ago) and now it's cre...
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carolinagirl
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11
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541
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ALLY'S GOAL
(Preview)
((((((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))))))))) Spoke to the GSO, today. I have applied about opening up a Saturday night face to face meeting....And It looks positive....I have a night and a time. I have a possibile venue...So It looks good for me... This is giving me a focus....Just what I need... Pl...
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ally
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2
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497
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The Disease Speaks
(Preview)
I went to an open AA meeting last night, as could not find any Alanon meetings on Sat. night. Had to drive 25 miles each way just to get to this open AA meeting! The man who gave the lead read a letter something likethis.....and passed out copies. I don't know where it came from, as he didn't say...
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Becky1
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10
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871
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Keep holding on...
(Preview)
((((((Everyone)))))) When I first heard this song I was reminded of all the wonderful people in this program that kept me going on days I was sure I was going to die. My pain was huge, I'll never forget it. I remember telling someone as I sat on the steps of my deck that I really thought I was going to d...
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Lunamoth
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2
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477
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being in transition
(Preview)
I am in the process of moving still. I do not really know what the A is doing whether he will maI ke it through his own transition so I am trying to be able to take as much as I can. I cannot rely on the A for much he is so scattered. My heart is full of grief. At the same time I know I hit a wall where I could not try anym...
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maresie2
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5
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532
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Writing the lyrics to my life
(Preview)
I've been writing alot lately, after the kids are asleep... Innocent Dreams There once was a girl, Who was hurt and confused, She fell into love, Was hurt and abused. For years she just smiled, Pulled on her coat, Kept her head up, She learned how to cope. One day she walked out, She stepped out that d...
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Miranda
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3
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645
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tatoo
(Preview)
Dear Family, Thought I would let you know my daughter who is a Sr in High School this year came by today to show off her tatoo. lol Not sure what she expected from us but we looked at it and said it looked nice but didn't want one for ourselves. She said she was surprised..she expected us to go off. lol...
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irish54
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5
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463
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Beginning to understand....
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners, I posted last week. I so appreciate the responses. Hard as they are to hear sometimes. Someone had posted that we Alanoners stay in the blame game saying our unhappiness is all the A's fault. I could see that in my post when I reread what I had written. It is kinda like a chess game - when h...
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nmike
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4
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659
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Dealing With Emotional Pain
(Preview)
(Hurt - Bitterness - Injustice - Abused Pain) We feel emotional pain when we do not get what we want, need, or expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse, injustice or simply emotional pain. In such cases, we have not received the behavior or outcomes we expected or believed we deserv...
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Phil
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4
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875
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leaving on a jet plane
(Preview)
(((family))) i haven't posted very often, lately, but wanted to let you all know that you are in my prayers. i will be deployed for a little while (couple weeks), and wanted to share some HOPE. i continue to attend face to face meetings (4 a week, usually), make program calls to new and old "fa...
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CJ
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15
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765
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Have no idea what we are doing or what to do.....we are on a wing and a prayer
(Preview)
It has only been 3 weeks since I was told about my brothers problems. My parents and my family and another brother - we all live in West Virginia. My brother with the problems lives in Utah. Being so far away he has lied and kept secrets for several years we are finding out now. It was only in the 4 - 6 weeks tha...
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derfsvic
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4
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624
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Just a little update
(Preview)
Hello Everyone! Been a while since I have been here. I have been so busy lately. First off, my pregnancy is going very well. I am finally getting over the sickness part and feeling more and more energy everyday. Nearly to the half way mark! I am very excited about that. lol. Still don't know w...
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melamom815
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5
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608
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i thought the hard days were over
(Preview)
The day that i decided to buy him out of our property was a day of strength. i knew i could do it! And i knew he was upset that it has come to this but i didnt want to keep a property under a joint name, as it was going to keep me connected to him for as long as that was OURS. We dont have kids, so i dont have to see him fo...
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arty
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12
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774
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Almost a year
(Preview)
April 30, 2006 I told my AH that he had to leave our home. June 6, 2006 the divorce was finalized. It is almost a year since the last time I have seen him. It is almost a year since I have been divorced. I have tried for this entire time to be sorry that he is gone. I have tried to grieve the end of the marriag...
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ditto
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4
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629
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HP Has Started a Work in Me(very long, sorry)
(Preview)
OK, HP. I give up. I keep praying and asking you for a sign of what I should do. I must be deaf, blind, and mentally challenged........ Those of you who know me, know I have been in and around Alanon for a little over a year. I actually went to a few meetings 20+ years ago, when I was married to another A. Bu...
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Becky1
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7
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644
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Mike you have a message
(Preview)
Please check your message box.
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shadow1
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0
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360
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thank you doesn't seem to cover it
(Preview)
i want to let y'all know i am feeling much better. better than i have in the past week and a half. saner. and that is thanks to you guys, the wise people in my f2f meetings and hp. who knows how long this peace within me will last so i want to post and say thank you. nothing has changed except me. i brought up...
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serendipity
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1
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460
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Request for alanon book
(closed)
(Preview)
Hi everyone again. I am putting this post out to each and every one of you. Let me first say I am not trying to act like a beggar in the street for a crust of bread, but I do have a need and I wanted to see if anyone could and/or would be willing to help me. I have really been looking at the information of the Al-an...
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hippietrippiechick
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4
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689
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Writing the lyrics to my life
(Preview)
I've been writing alot lately, after the kids are asleep... Innocent Dreams There once was a girl, Who was hurt and confused, She fell into love, Was hurt and abused. For years she just smiled, Pulled on her coat, Kept her head up, She learned how to cope. One day she walked out, She stepped out that d...
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Miranda
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2
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623
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I'm Lost
(Preview)
I saw this poem posted in a doctor's office the other day...I suppose it was meant to be funny...but I saw a deeper meaning.
I'm Lost 
I've lost myself.
If I return when
I get back, please
ask me to wait.
This got me to thinking about how many lost people there are out there ...
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java
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5
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771
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no restraining order issued
(Preview)
I just wanted to let everyone know that after talking with the courts they would not issue a restraining order. Didn't feel that it met the "requirements" here. I am so angry I don't know what to do, but, yet I am so confused. In my state it the restraining order refers to adults doing...
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still searching
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6
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675
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5 Life Lessons
(Preview)
Good morning, (((((Family))))) A friend emailed these to me this morning and that were such great things for me to think about as I travel through my life today I thought I would share them with all my best friends.  Lessons about the way we treat people. 1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lad...
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david62
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11
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727
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Just hang on a little longer...
(Preview)
It's funny how one day can seem so awful that you think you'll never get through it but if you just hang on to your sanity for a little longer things get better. Yesterday I was depressed with no friends and feeling sorry for myself and today I can't figure out what to do this weekend because...
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carolinagirl
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7
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620
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Here is a great big hug to all at our Al-anon MIP!
(Preview)
Ever since I entered this wonderful group I felt a peaceful closeness to all of you. When I was confused you helped me to see; What it is all about, and what is happening to me. I just want to thank you all for listening, caring, and reaching out. It just leaves me without a doubt..... That this group's...
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hippietrippiechick
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2
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788
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Finally, I'm back
(Preview)
(((((((Dear Friends))))))) My server for the past couple of weeks or so has been a real rat bastage. They seem to have worked out the kinks so for now I am back.  I sure have missed you all and when life allows the time will be able to catch up on posts, make it into meetings etc. YAAAAAAAAAAY!...
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lilms
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4
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487
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Does one have a heart to heart with their alcoholic?
(Preview)
I would like to know does anyone try to have a heart to heart with their alchoic while trying to find themselves going through the steps. I have read a lot on it but confused on this issue. Does one still try?
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kopkreations
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11
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893
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my anger motivates me
(Preview)
again thank you for the love and support. Luna said grow up and that really made sense. i am trying. i don't know how, at least i wasn't shown how to be an adult, or have an adult relationship. i have tried so hard but when working with an A it might just be impossible. Yet again, i see it is me. i went...
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serendipity
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4
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743
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ESH needed. My A came over and I had to make him leave.
(Preview)
Well, what an evening---straight into Hell. I should have known that by his nasty attitude earlier today that it would not be good for a visit today. We both fell asleep at our own dwellings, and I called him back. Same attitude. I was totally set on keeping my boundaries in my home. I dont think he likes...
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hippietrippiechick
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4
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638
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Hard night
(Preview)
It's been a while since my A has made me cry. He succeeded tonight. I could have banged my head against a wall trying to make him wake up and see. Yes, I've been there and done that -- you'd think I'd have learned by now. My Son has to finish his pinewood derby car (scouts) by Sunday aft...
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Lunamoth
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8
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627
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am I over reacting??
(Preview)
He walked into my daughters room (she is 8) and starts complaining about her shoes being in the way in her bedroom. She says they are on the floor. So this grown man then takes her papers from her dresser and her blanket and throws them on the floor and then tells her to pick it up. She tells him no. He then tel...
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still searching
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16
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761
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Can't breath
(Preview)
I can't breath. I have known this feeling before, it's anxiety over feeling controlled. I feel out of control. What's the first step? Admitted we were powerless. Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. I feel out of control and insane. I am w...
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java
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4
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620
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