The material presented
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Hello I just wanted to give you a quick update. I haven't been posting much lately. My divorce from my A/Cokehead husband was finalized in court on Monday. It wasn't easy... but it's done. It was supposed to be final last Monday, but at the very last minute (last Monday morning), my AH hired a lawyer and wanted to argue about the equity of the support payments my attorney and I were asking for. I think it was also an attempt to drag the proceedings on and prolong the divorce, since he didn't want it to happen. The second trip to court this week required me to testify and be questioned by both attorneys. It was the longest and most stressful hour of my life. I had to say truthful things about my AH right in front of him. I could hardly stand to look at him. When it came time for him to testify, he sobbed through it. It was really sad. In the end, the judge ordered him to pay what we were asking, and said that the fault of the breakdown of the marriage clearly lies with him. He also recommended that he get some help or treatment. I doubt any of that will sink in. I also doubt that I'll ever see any kind of support payments from him.
I've had a lot of mixed feelings about everything. I guess that's normal. I feel kinda bad for him. I feel a little guilty at times... but then I snap out of it! Mostly I have a huge sense of relief. I'm ready to get on with my life.
Artygirl.
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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.
I understand the guilt feeling you may have, I think I would feel the same way, but deep down you know you did the right thing for YOU and if you didn't who would? No one, no one but you can take care of yourself and make sure are truly happy!
Good 4 you! With time everything will get much better and you WILL move on, even from the guilt!
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Grant me the strenght to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!
Congratulations on moving forward. I've been divorced for almost a year and I can't tell you the relief I feel at not having to worry about what he will do, what he will break, how he will hurt me. I don't even think of him very often. This is probably unusual as most people do feel grief over the end of a relationship... I don't know, in my mind bad is bad and garbage is garbage and I don't like keeping what is toxic in my life. I hope you will also make it through the days ahead with a minimum of grief.
There are website support groups for divorced people. There is also a face to face divorce support group called Divorce Care. You can find them on the internet or if you would like you can send me a private message and I will give you their website addresses.
Sending best wishes for much happiness ahead of you.
