The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello Everyone! Been a while since I have been here. I have been so busy lately. First off, my pregnancy is going very well. I am finally getting over the sickness part and feeling more and more energy everyday. Nearly to the half way mark! I am very excited about that. lol. Still don't know what we are having, but am just glad this little one is growing so strongly every week. My other children have had a wonderful change in attitudes in the past few weeks too. I never knew the extent of damage that was taking place with alcohol being in our home. My 3 year old is showing affection like never before, she is such a wonderful happy child now. Throwing out hugs and kisses all day. My 9 year old tells me that our home is more comfortable for him now and he is becoming more of a child than he has been in a while. Which is heart warming for me to watch. My youngest turns 2 in a couple of weeks and is blooming into a wonderful little toddler. I have gone back to doing my work from home and am doing good since all crazy distractions are gone. We have moved back into our home and hub is over almost everyday visiting.
My husband has been sober for over a month. He has gotten a new job where drinking is not a part of the evening before going home. He is still doing the same kind of work just a little different when hub's new rig boss is a 20+ year recovering A. His new boss has been full of ESH when it comes to hub's recovery. Hub is doing great working his program and spends a lot of time with us at our home. He is like a completely different man now. He has gained about 20 lbs, which he desparately needed to gain and looks great. The kids are seeing a side of him they have never seen before and were quite confused by him. They love on him and want to play with him when he is here instead of hiding off in their rooms.
I have learned alot about myself and what I am willing to take on. I can say with confidence that the active A is gone from my life. My boundry has become absolutely no drinking if A wants a chance at a family with me and our children. I have no problem sticking by this because I have seen the stark difference of myself and my children in a sober enviroment as aposed to the drinking enviroment that we have come from. AH has asked if he will ever be allowed to move back in with us. I just asked him that we wait until everyone feels comfortable with that and just continue our counseling for the time being. I don't want to put any time frame on anything right now since all is so new.
For today, life is pretty darn good. Thanks for listening.
I love posts like this. Sounds like you are taking it nice and slow. I'm very very happy to hear your children are coming out of their shells. I can totally relate to this. My children are 6,5,5 and when I got my ah out of the house and explained the reasons behind it to them then they started to be alot more happier. Now our weekend visits are wonderful. They get to see mommy and daddy hugging and kissing and saying kind words, they even get to see us argue and the effective way to end it. They learn alot from us. Most importantly they see that they have at least one parent who will protect them, you! Your doing great. I'm happy to hear about your pg going good. Good luck with that. Lots of love. Don't forget to come here and share your happiness, it gives some of the one's who are not in "our" place hope. Your in my prayers ^i^
Melamom, when I read your posts, I am just overwhelmed at the way you work your recovery. I must have a very hard head. Guess I have just not bottomed out yet....cannot imagine my life without my AH in it. Am working a program, been here a little over a year. My heart keeps getting in the way of my head......and my husband has no interest whatsoever in sobriety. Yet, I am the one who wants so badly to continue the relationship. Go figure. Congrats on the upcoming birth of your new little one. And I commend you on all you do with all your other little ones to care for. I use the excuse "well, if I had to drag a child thru this mess, I would probably find the strength to leave, but it is just me." Lame excuse. Keep on doing what you are doing. It gives me hope. Love in Recovery, Becky1
I am glad you are taking it slow. What courage you must have to do what you did pregnant. It took me a full year in al anon to be willing to do it on my own. I am still transitioning with the A. In theory he is moving to another area. The idea for him is for me to move there. I doubt very very much I will but no doubt I will keep in contact if only because it takes such a long time to divide our mutual belongings. We also have pets which while they are unlike children I am deeply emotionally invested in.
I find it very very very hard to carve out my own life because as we all know the A's have so much crisis that alone is a full time job.
I am glad your A is willing. Mine is not. He puts on a great show.
First of all I'm exhausted just thinking about having 3 children and another one on the way! I'm exhuasted with hubby and kitty lol! I admire your ability to manage such a household.
Glad things are going so well. Congrats on hubby's sobriety. I hope and pray it will stick. One of the biggest turning points for my A was when he went to see his kids and grandkids on Christmas. His grandson was told it was time for bed on Christmas Eve. He replied: " I don't care if Santa Claus comes, because Grampy is here." That made everything worthwhile for him. It's amazing how children pick up on things. We think they don't notice no matter what the age, but they do.
Take good care of yourself and the little ones. Give hubby an extra hug for me, and tell him I said to keep up the good work. Miracles do happen and we can expect them. Maybe his boss will plant the seed even further.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
