The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am about 50-60% moved. there is of course numerous stuff that is left "hanging" as normal with the A. He can't have any pressure put on him but doesn't seem to feel the same way about putting pressure on me.
The issue is for me that I am still looking for him to spring forth as the man he claimed to be when he first met. The one who would move mountains for me.
I know I feel more angry, abandoned and lonely with him than without him. I also know he does as little as possible to appease me. He will probably always be that way. Yet at the same time even with my feet firmly out the door most of my stuff elswhere I am still waiting for him to change. And of course, he is not interested in changing in the least. He finds a way out of any situation. He packs nothing even though he has an eviction notice hanging over him. He made a deal with the landlord he is not going to keep. He tantrums daily that he is not getting what he needs.
You know I don't think there is anything wrong with hope. In this program there are lots of miracles. I look to my AHsober to change even tho he swears he doesn't have it, never will, and doesn't want to change. I keep hoping that he will turn around and look at what he has lost. Realize his mistake and come back. Partly because I believed what he told me for years and years. Maybe your miracle is you moving out and taking good care of yourself. I hope so.
hi dearest, don't lose touch with us. That would drive me crazy.
I know it is hard to see now Mary, but you are on a path to serenity. You are going to be seeing some major miracles.
Keep doing one day at a time, one foot ahead of the other. your life can only get better, and better. Yes it does and will hurt like h for awhile. I have faith in you.
You have played the caregiver role for so long that it is only natural thatyou still feel this way. There is a poem that is called I love you enough. I would say in your instance that you love your A enough to let go and start having a life for yourself. From now on it is okay to put your own needs before others. Do not feel guilt you deserve the happiness that awaits you in your new life. I am very proud of you and you should be too. ((())) Luv Leo xxx
(((maresie))) I can identify with that feeling of hoping he will somehow make this turn around and come to his senses and change. I think you said it best his actions show that he is not interested in changing at this point. You seem to be doing the next right thing for yourself by moving on and finding the happiness and the life that you deserve. Keep moving forward, you A has to take care of himself now. Have a blessed day.
Peace, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
We are both supposed to be moving. I think the A may stay where he is and take his chances with eviction. Let's just say he's packed nothing. He has helped me move some in between tantruming.
The super hard part for me is in leaving the pets. In theory I do get to see them as much as I want but I will no longer be living with them.
To top all this I have been having a nightmare at work. Low level work is an abyss of lots of indignities and more. The only good thing is the economy is finally starting to turn.
