The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
She cuts herself too, like I used to. Self Mutililation. Another issue that makes me want someone to untie my hands about all this. I don't have custody of her and am in no shape to be there for her 24/7.
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This is HippieTrippieChick Signing Off
Be blessed and have a wonderful day.
Remember God loves you.
PEACE
They tell us to tell the truth and reveal our secrets. The secrets give the disease power. I am learning to tell the truth about my situation and about myself. Hard for me. Hope there is help for your daughter.
Lots of hugs to you! This is a tough one, considering you don't have custody of your daughter. However, no different
than the thousands of us parents who have no control over our childrens thinking and/or actions.
Sounds like there is lots of "blaming" going on here ..... but blaming never helps anyone. It only hurts.
Bottom line to me is that you have some problems and you are reaching out for help. We've all made lots of mistakes in our past, believe me, you will never be along there!!!! The important thing is today ...and today you are reaching out for help .... and doing quite well with that I might add!
Since your daughter is living with your folks, unfortunately you don't have the power to say what to do. There again comes the 1st step. Gosh, every single morning begins with a first step all over again!
Maybe you can simply turn her over to your HP every moment you think of her and still continue with your progress. Actually your progress alone may benefit this child more than anyone can know. Keep focusing on yourself and your progress ...don't stop!
I'm so sorry you are going through this ...remember this is a disease ...addiction ...and as much as it affects the users, it affects the ones who love them as much or more. The disease of dysfunction comes in many forms. Your daughter is screaming out for help ....I so hope someone hears her.
Having your hands untied and being there almost 24/7 will not be the solution. Trust me on this. I'm working from home, I take time off for counseling, social workers, doctors appts, etc and make it up by working other whacky hours.
My daughter has returned to cuttting.
As my other daughter who did spend time in patient said and realized. Nothing will change w/ her until she wants to get better. That is where step 1 comes in. Even if you were in the position to do the things you believe (and my very well be) the next right thing, you can't make her change.
My daughter swears and carries on about going to the psychiatrist. She wants to go to an outpatient program which I quite frankly feel allowed her to focus outside of herself on everyone else for her problems, which she already did. She is truant though much better since I'm in court.
As for this being a normal part of growing up. In a way, it is. I agree that the behavior is illegal. I agree that it shouldn't be accepted. There are natural consequences for this behavior and school and it's normal for there to be some consequences at home for this behavior. But.... as almost every therapist and social worker that comes to my house says....many teens will experiment.
Goth may seem counter culture, but honestly there are times where recovery seems counter culture. How many times to you talk to someone out of the program and they just don't get it? Many of the counter culture have a leg up on some of us that they know that they have feelings that are causing them problems in their lives. Unfortunately....they choose unhealthy outlets for dealing with those feelings sometimes.
Nut doesn't fall far from the tree? Ugh... remember what people think of you or your daughter isn't any of your business. Step 1. :)
I was just about to give advice. LOL In thinking of it it's something I need to do today too. I will picture all those troubled in my household as being enveloped by their HP and in the hands of their HP. I will ask my HP that I be a channel of his/her will through my words and action towards them.
Keep coming back.
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
