The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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It's funny because this round of sobriety I've actually lost count of the days. I hope that's a plus. I get loving phone calls everday, I get sweet text messages. Our every other weekend visits are going better then planned. The kids are seeing a new couple blossom before their little eyes. Having him leave was the best thing I ever did for me and the kids. I hated with everything in my soul to turn my back on that man but I knew I had to let him go. It was really hard knowing I was all he had. How to you give up on a dying animal? It's our nature to take care of them and to comfort them and to try and make them better. My ah was willing to crawl away and die and nothing I tried (and I tried it all) was going to stop him. He fortunalty didn't die. I gave him two weeks in his own urine and no bath in a wooded lot alone in his truck with his vodka, alone to die. Something (my HP I think) just said "go get him" and I didn't question. I just did it. He was sober seven months. He fell off when he had to live alone with out any support and soon realized he needed the support. So now he's responsible for his own recovery. All a process that's HE'S figuring out. What a new man. Ifind it funny I can actually call him responsible, caring, loving, respectful (that's a big one). Even though we have been married seven years, we have only lived one of those years together. He got booted years ago. I am finally getting the husband I waited for. It can happen. But nothing we can do will help it along sadly. It's all in their time. But things have to be REALLY bad for them to appreciate the good things they could have. That's my experience anyway. Just wanted to put some positives on here. Love ya my MIP family. mwah xoxox
I am so glad you are experiencing good time with your A. treasure it.
do your kids know he has a disease and can relapse anytime? I wish I had known what I know now. I thought well they can just go to rehab. right. I believe we should be taught alanon in school. Taught the truths of the disease.
We get taught about cancer, ms all kinds of diseases, so why not addiction?
anyway hon, I had some nice times with my A, I don't regret it at all. Sadly I don't get anymore.
(((FOY))) Thank you so much for sharing that with us today. I really needed to read that. My AH's actions are not lining up with his words lately and I have this feeling again that this is not what I signed up for. My kids needa Dad who wants to be around. He's still very much a kid and believes he can have a family while still going out 3-4 nights a week smoking pot, drinking, and playing music. That lifestyle just doesn't fit with me or the kids, never really has. I have to say at some point to him that if this is the lifestyle you want you will have to live elsewhere. It sucks because we just got married, but as I get healthier I can see that I deserve better from a husband and so do the kids. Your strength is a comfort and an inspiration to me. So glad your AH has recovery now and you all are creating a new life and relationship together. What a blessing!!
Peace, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
debilyn wrote:I am so glad you are experiencing good time with your A. treasure it.
do your kids know he has a disease and can relapse anytime? I wish I had known what I know now. I thought well they can just go to rehab. right. I believe we should be taught alanon in school. Taught the truths of the disease.
We get taught about cancer, ms all kinds of diseases, so why not addiction?
anyway hon, I had some nice times with my A, I don't regret it at all. Sadly I don't get anymore.
much love to you all, debilyn
Ironically my ah treats cancer. Yes I explained alcoholism to my children they are only 6,5,5 so I explained enough to them without ugly details. They have also seen daddy struggling for years. They grew up with the let downs and disappointments and argueing until I ended the visits completley. I realized I had to be their security, I had to get them out of that mess even if it was the weekends, they deserved better. My son said something today about his birthday party and even though daddy has been sober for a while he still said "if daddy comes to my birthday party" so he is still thinking of daddy as sick. When I talk about daddy I say that he is trying and he's doing really well not drinking. I never say "daddy's better" I wouldn't dare. Who knows how my story will end. But for now it's a normal life and I'll take it. Seven years of hell is enough for now. I need a break.
twinmom2 wrote: (((FOY))) Thank you so much for sharing that with us today. I really needed to read that. My AH's actions are not lining up with his words lately and I have this feeling again that this is not what I signed up for. My kids needa Dad who wants to be around. He's still very much a kid and believes he can have a family while still going out 3-4 nights a week smoking pot, drinking, and playing music. That lifestyle just doesn't fit with me or the kids, never really has. I have to say at some point to him that if this is the lifestyle you want you will have to live elsewhere. It sucks because we just got married, but as I get healthier I can see that I deserve better from a husband and so do the kids. Your strength is a comfort and an inspiration to me. So glad your AH has recovery now and you all are creating a new life and relationship together. What a blessing!!
Peace, Twinmom~
Ya know, that was the most important part for me. I wanted his actions to do alot of the talking. He said one thing but didn't act on it. for instance "I love you and the kids" ok then why are you not coming to see us? ummmm because he's still drinking!He knows my rules....when you have been drinking and your sick or shaking DO NOT come here. He eventually got it. I just backed away from him and let him live the way he wanted, like a drunk. He hated that. He seen first hand my best friend die from it. She was vibrant and beautiful and so full of life. He seen me go to my room and just lose it. After that, my attitude towards him was.....Just die already. He knew I was serious. I was done. That freaked him out. So HE decided to change his ways. Don't you dare settle for less than what you think your worth. Those kids deserve the very best. You can be all they need.
