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Toe prints and still blaming A
(Preview)
geez, I need some special thoughts to hp please...... Today I was hooking up a lead to my llama Campbell, we are in an tiny corner, the neighbors three silly baby steers ran up. They scared llama who twisted around, rope went around my right leg, pulled me down, llama pushed me I landed on my tail bone on a s...
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debilyn
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5
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595
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moving on with moving on
(Preview)
One good thing about this weekend is that I finally feel like I am moving on from the A's chaos. I am not being pulled into my housemates chaos and craziness. I refuse to go into that kind of over involvment again. I keep my stuff firmly focused on my needs, what I need to do and where I am going. I don't go any f...
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maresie2
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5
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435
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My Dear Friends
(Preview)
I have woken up early and couldn't wait to get online to see what has happened next in your lives. I think you guys are awesome and I hope you have the most wonderful day. I have posted responses to people so right now I don't have any epiphany to share. Just give me time, it will come. :) Talk to you soon, dear...
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Belladay
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3
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315
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all our children
(Preview)
Spent the day with one of my kids away at college (who had called late last nite needing support), returned home to sons not getting along (taking things that bother them about our family out on each other perhaps), another son feeling no one understood or supported his interests and sons reported th...
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ddub
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2
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289
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AN 80's Woman
(Preview)
just for today, i would like to share something with you. last week something happened to me. this week i am on my way to hospital and doctor appointments for a multitude of tests. last week , before i realized i was ill, i wanted to share this poem with you. i love it, twenty years ago, i found it tucked awa...
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beaulahg
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11
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592
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It's my birthday
(Preview)
And I am feeling sorry for myself! I have rec'd many calls and cards from friends and hubby-but I have 3 sons and spouses-and 2 step-children and spouses, and 6 grandchildren---and no one called or sent a card-or emailed. this goes on year after year----------I don't want gifts--I always remember th...
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meagain
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7
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481
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Hi, I'm new. I have a question. :)
(Preview)
Hello everyone, First of all, let me tell you how glad I am to have found this site. This is all very new for me and was recommended to me by a good friend who has been to Al-Anon herself (her husband went through AA) and found it very helpful. They are still together and happy. Alcohol has been an increasi...
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tenacious
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5
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627
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re: manipulative people
(Preview)
Hi All, My student contacted me late this week. I had given her an extension on work due as she cited difficulties. I made an appointment to see her the week after next and the times are difficult for her. However to see her asap, I chose to choose the times. She tried to lay a guilt trip on me and I decided to c...
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maire rua
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2
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1362
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Reality check -
(Preview)
My AH is a jerk tonight and we did try to talk off and on the last couple days until he became smug, belligerant and immature. I told him I had several things to talk with him during this quiet weekend. We've had a about 15 minute conversation 3 times over the last 2 days. Taking it slow, concise without t...
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ddub
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6
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397
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Alanons Who Drink
(Preview)
As some of you know, I backed into this program - I was born qualified for Alanon, but had to qualify fully for Alcoholics Anonymous first, and get sober, before finally showing up for Alanon to begin dealing with my own codependency issues... although I have never been married to an alcoholic, I've ha...
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barisax
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5
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643
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Procrastinate
(Preview)
I am such a procrastinator! I have a test (self study 2 months) next Friday and I need to really study all day but I can't seem to focus. I feel like I need to just relax today and take some time off but I know I need to reread the book which is 600 pages. Yikes! But I do have a friend coming over to study with me. Sh...
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Belladay
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2
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288
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Finally some honesty from A......
(Preview)
I posted last week when my husband took some medicine that belonged to my son for ADD. I try to keep it put up when he is home (out of respect for his addiction), but he came home early (usually gone for 2 weeks and home for 1 week from working offshore). I put the medicine up, but not in time. I knew he had ta...
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dm0141
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5
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519
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How do I handle this...
(Preview)
I need to know something. Because we have alcoholics in our lives, does this mean that we are supposed to arrange our lives according to their disease, and base our decisions on whether or not they could influence the A to drink? It seems that this is being done among some of the members of my Alanon grou...
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verenda
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11
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660
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Shaking My Head
(Preview)
I had the oddest experience today. I was at work and I am studying with 3 other women I work with for this big test we will have next week. It is a 2 month self-study and it is by choice so we are taking this on ourselves. We have all been working hard to get this done and I am sure some of it was stress but one of the...
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Belladay
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3
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326
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Relationship w/ A vs. Controlling Mom
(Preview)
My ex-A and I have been broken up for about a year, after 7 years of dating/co-habitating. I am realistic about the relationship and the fact it will never work as long as he is sick. I am 42 with a great career, 2 awesome kids and a pretty happy life. My ex-A is not so lucky, but his choice.The thing is I sti...
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newday
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2
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446
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"...and how is A doing?"
(Preview)
what do you guys say when people ask how your alcoholic is?
He and I no longer live together but we may reconcile. I have come to a point where I will no longer go into it when friends/family ask about our relationship and how I am doing. In the past I would SIGH and say something like..."its OK or its...
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Jean4444
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10
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1271
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WHAT DO I DO NOW?
(Preview)
I just asked told the Love of my life to get out - I know he needs help but I can not take his
drinking anymore. He keeps justifing his drinking by telling me he never hurt me and he is
a good provider. He is right on one count - He is an excelent provider and he has never hit me
when he drinks but I can not make h...
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PURRCEY
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17
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698
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strength within
(Preview)
Note to my husband, You are making a choice about our marriage by choosing to drink bourbon again. I then have the right to choose whether I endure another round of the consequences and effect on me. Please do not try to talk to me I am too upset this is a boundary to protect myself. Leo
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leo
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3
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246
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Overcoming the Lingering Effects of Lies...
(Preview)
I've learned a gret deal lurking in this forum and reading the collective wisdom found here, thank-you. Here's another question I have: How do you handle the lying aspects of someone who is an A? Relationships are built on trust and of course A destroys that trust when the A is in relapse or freshly out o...
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Jeff Reynolds
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6
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776
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Understand
(Preview)
Leo, I am sorry you are going through this again. I know how you feel. I finally left my AH but he had gotten alot worse and acted out in really bad ways before I left. It is so hard to deal with it. I stayed 5 years after he relapsed. I was in literal hell before I left. I am so glad I got the courage up to do it. He wa...
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Belladay
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0
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217
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Husband still sober, but confessed he had gotten a DUI
(Preview)
Here I am again. My husband is still sober, but was in an automobile accident a few weeks ago and told me that a truck had run a stop sign and hit him. He went to the hospital with neck and shoulder injuries that seemed to heal remarkably fast. Last night he presents me with the police report showing that...
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Chetch
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10
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591
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Back Again?!?!
(Preview)
I got a call yesterday from my A. I do still love him and someone said it sounded like I wasn't done with him. They were so right. He told me how much he loves me and that he doesn't want to be without me but isn't ready to give up alcohol. He said he needed to do it for himself and that it had to be his decision...
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shellymcknight
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3
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285
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Must share this . . .
(Preview)
I hit rock bottom (and then some) in my checking account. It's all gone, the farm money, whatever it was, it's gone now, sort of the end of an era, I guess. Thankfully I just got my retirement fund check from my previous job, only 1500 bucks, but it looks like a lot to me right now. My plan was to deposit so...
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Kim65
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11
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555
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doing it again......
(Preview)
First I was going to start a new topic related to Carolina's post about thinking and our kids. Like when one of mine told me not to blame it all on my AH when I answered questions from the younger siblings because I was sick first. I said what?!? Sort of a chicken and egg story - yes I was undiagnosed for...
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ddub
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2
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457
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Carry you with me
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I just wanted you to know that I have found since I have been on this site that I have started thinking about you all, your words, your suffering and your comfort. It has made me want to come back and read up on how each of you are doing. You are becoming so interesting to me. I also feel part of you...
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Belladay
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1
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412
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Just realizing there is a problem...
(Preview)
I'm just beginning with this but I'm pretty sure my husband has been an alcoholic for the entire 20 years we've been married. He started having serious temper tantrums about two months ago and he started drinking more often about two weeks ago. I can't go to meetings yet. This website has gotten me t...
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Heaven
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1
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423
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Keep The Fork.....
(Preview)
Keep The Fork....... There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him...
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Peggy7
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2
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478
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I was thinking this morning (shocker I know) LOL
(Preview)
I was in the car on my way to work and I was thinking about myself and realized some things. Firstly I realized that I have not been being the best mom I could be. I was always better than the A (which isn't saying much) but is that really enough? No, I decided, it's not. I can do better with this teenage da...
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carolinagirl
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10
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586
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RE: A Drink or Candy
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I went out with my neighbors last night and it was fun to give out candy, block style. But does everyone drink? I have been away from it for so long I think I forgot. I just don't associate with people who drink much anymore and seeing these people, who I don't really spend that much time with, w...
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Belladay
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9
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1242
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How on earth have I suddenly...
(Preview)
become a veteran member, I have only been with you a few short weeks. How scarey is THAT! Heartbroken
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Heartbroken
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7
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478
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"I get by with a little help from my friends..."
(Preview)
It's a simple formula; do your best and somebody might like it. --Dorothy Baker We're never guaranteed success by others' standards. However, if we do our best according to the standards we think God has in mind, we'll be successful. And from God we'll always receive unconditional love and acceptan...
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Tiger2006
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3
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1049
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moving through the financial molasses
(Preview)
As you all know I am deeply in debt after living with the A for 7 years. I left him with practically nothing and he destroyed the only thing I had of value which was my truck which I was never able to recvoer despite my best efforts in getting a restraining order. . I have been working solidly for 6 months now b...
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maresie2
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4
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434
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So if it is true...
(Preview)
... that "when you get busy you get better", my ah should be on the fast track to recovery. HA! So, with the diversion program he must attend 90 AA meetings in 90 days (over the holidays,should be interesting), a professionals group twice per wk, have a psych eval, weekly counseling by a re...
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Loupiness
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2
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549
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AH almost got a dui last night
(Preview)
AH was supposed to be running to the corner store about a 1/4 mile from home last night. He comes home almost an hour later shaking. He got pulled over and he had been drinking. The cop asked if he had been drinking, he said no, but cop said he smelled alcohol. Didn't have his license with him of course. Cop r...
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babysteps
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3
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642
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AH home now, Update
(Preview)
Well I decided to let AH come home. He has been home 2 days now. How am I feeling? I really do not know. I thought I would be ecstatically happy, like just getting married, or something, but I just feel sort of numb. I love him, and when we were seeing eadh other and he was at the halfway house we were ecstatic,...
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verenda
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6
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548
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acceptance struggle to be there
(Preview)
After an incredibly difficult year full of lows, new lows, frustration, struggles and more, I find it hard to be at a place of acceptance. I konw this is for me the core of my program. When I was struggling with how to cope with the A acceptance was far from my grasp. I raged, grieved, raged, grieved and rag...
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maresie2
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1
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392
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November Business Meeting
(Preview)
Hello ((((Family))) As the new chairperson for the group, it is my pleasure to chair our business meetings for the next 6 months. This Sunday is the first Sunday of the month so we should have had our business meeting for November. However!!!!!! This weekend I am going to be traveling to Houston to atte...
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david62
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3
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355
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RE: Sharing a Meal
(Preview)
I just wanted to tell you that this has been a good day. I feel aware and pretty balanced. I have come home and cooked for two nights, something that I really like to do because it is such a form of love to give my family. In recovery I found nuggets of balance and I love it when I have it. Like starting somethin...
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Belladay
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2
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901
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Prayers for my cousin's family please
(Preview)
((((((((Family)))))), Just got some bad news that my cousin (who is my sister's age) died today. He was a deep sea diver working on pipes, etc. Apparently something went wrong with his equipment and he never surfaced. He was working out west, so I have no idea when the funeral will be. He died doing w...
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Karilynn
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11
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578
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Happy Halloween
(Preview)
(((((((((Family)))))))), Just wanted to take the time to wish you all a Happy Halloween. I hope tomorrow will be filled with love, laughter and fun. Enjoy all the ghosts and goblins and creatures running amok. Hubby and Pipers Kitty will be handing out treats, while I go for my walk in my neighbor...
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Karilynn
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6
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382
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RE: Trick or Treat
(Preview)
Hi guys, all is well. My dad did call finally today and I am ok. He seemed really insecure. I think I feel stronger because of you all. I just thought I am not going to worry, I will put up some boundaries like you said and remember who I am and how far I have come. He seemed so nervous. Here he is 2000 miles away a...
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Belladay
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1
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287
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Rock Bottom, the Aftermath, and my Guilt
(Preview)
I'm not sure where to begin this so I'll start at the beginning of the end. Hope it all makes sense....... My father is an alcoholic. The drinking worsened when I left for college, and by the time I had graduated from school and begun planning my wedding he was at the point where he was comatose for days on e...
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Aslan
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4
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547
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A little funny...but then again?
(Preview)
So last night the AH decided to come home, I was cleaning the kitchen after the mess the kids made and went to put the trash in the garage. Well, apparently somewhere in the middle of this I had supposedly said something that set AH off, because he came into the garage, closed the door, and proceeded to sta...
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CJC
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3
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439
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Hellish night with out of control teen..HELP!
(Preview)
Last night was hell night. I got home from work, picked up the little ones from daycare and then went to pick up the oldest at her school dance. We got home after grocery shopping and I told her to fold clothes and do the rest of her chores. That's where it all started... She started complaining and I to...
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carolinagirl
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19
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718
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from all to nothing in 2 weeks
(Preview)
Just two weeks ago I had what I thought was a somewhat normal life, just what I thought I suppose. I am so hurt, scared, confused and so many mixed feelings right now I don't even know what to do. My fiance and I split, two weeks tomorrow. He has been seen by me with another woman, called his mother to tell he...
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justmeagain
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4
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554
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consequences of alcoholism
(Preview)
Dear All, Yesterday evening I was at the funeral of a 29 year old man from the community I grew up in. He crashed his jeep on saturday night while intoxicated and died at the scene. It was his seventh vehicle. A taxi had been organised by his brother but he just couldn't wait as he had things to do in the morni...
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maire rua
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2
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533
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Hehe guess who is online at home :)
(Preview)
((((Family))))), I have my friends pc up and running until my boss has my tower up :). Just wanted to let you all know. Yours in recovery, Mandy
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Mandy123
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3
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275
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New here help and advice appreciated
(Preview)
I'm currently in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic and have been for about four years. On and off I have been to face to face meetings in England but I am so busy with work and my degree I barely have time to go. However having discvered this site it seems like a god send I'm very interested in doing...
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chick29
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7
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534
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being known
(Preview)
I had this epiphany this morning that Al anon has given me the gift of being known. I sought that in depth in counselling and never really got it. I had a sense of it but I think I held back. I've been in these rooms for over 2 years now. I came here a basket case, totally paralyzed in depression. I am certinly n...
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maresie2
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10
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449
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My sister in law has a few hours left to live
(Preview)
She had a rare thyroid cancer and she's been fighting it tooth and nail. But she woke up today and her left side started to swell this morning and then her right (signs of organ failure) My brother is with her and picked her up and carried her to the restroom. She refuses to eat, or take her pain meds, she sai...
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Friendofyours
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11
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687
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Shocked and Depending on God (my HP)
(Preview)
Got a call from mom that blew me away tonight. She had a theory: I had made it all up. I had made up all the things I've shared here with you, with my councelor, with my sponsorship family, with my closest friends. I had made up this theory so that my parents would not cut me off financially, and that I would co...
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Tiger2006
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5
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618
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Without Labels - reprint
(Preview)
Hi group... Please refrain from using religion or other groupings that may have others feel like they may be judged and/or not included on the basis of their beliefs. Although this board is not formal "Al-Anon", we do, in fact, welcome everyone from every walk of life, and it is inapprop...
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canadianguy
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2
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668
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I stood up to them
(Preview)
Hi, this is just a little victory for me. My working environment is not the best for a recovering codependant like myself. I'm always trying to make everyone happy with me all the time and failing miserably. Someone was giving me a hard time at work and I just put up with it a dealt with it and turned the oth...
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RainyJamie
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4
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476
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Thanks For the Prayers
(Preview)
Hello (((All))), Thank you so very much for the wonderful responses. I have no doubt there were many prayers coming my way these past days. Things are a little bettter, for one day at least. I will just take it no questions. As far as the g-child, I can only be here, help and love. Life can be a wonderfu...
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Andrea12
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5
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372
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How do I get on with my life?
(Preview)
I haven't had much to say lately, I am past the point of hoping he'll get better and we can still have a happily ever after ending. I just wonder sometimes if I am getting on with my life or if this is just a holding pattern until? Until what I don't know, until I get totally better and feel able to trust anoth...
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carolinagirl
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8
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642
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Time
(Preview)
Our A is 25 and been battling it for 2 1/2 years, since she finished college. Two stints in rehab in FL, four lost jobs, 14 days in jail, one DWI, and over six different half-way houses and apartments. Five relapses, they average about every six months or so but tend to only last a couple of days because sh...
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Jeff Reynolds
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4
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384
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HELP - I cannot enter the chat room...
(Preview)
No matter what I do I cannot enter the chat room and I thought it would be a good idea to go in to sit and listen and become a little more involved since it is NOT possible for me to go to f2f meetings. I have downloaded the software as directed but if I click on the link in John's chatroom information sticky I si...
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Heartbroken
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2
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343
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The Other Night
(Preview)
my AH decided to "discuss" with me some things. For the life of me I can't even remember what it was. It does not matter because it always ends up in an attempt to verbally abuse me. I get up and walk away and tell him I am not going there. I lay down to go to sleep and he follows me. It's always my faul...
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souljoy
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3
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426
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Infidelity
(Preview)
I have been with my partner for around four years in this time he has cheated several times, lied been manipulative and every time I have allowed him to talk me round because of my own unhealthy behaviour patterns. I have attended al anon on and off which has been very helpful, he has also self harmed and a...
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chick29
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5
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505
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He Never Called
(Preview)
My last post explained how my dad called after a year and it was pretty freaky to say the least. I really didn't expect to hear from him again. He is my AD I guess, as apposed to AH I see you guys use. He is very ill emotionally. He can be very inappropriate even being long distance, which he has been for the las...
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Belladay
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3
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339
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