The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm just beginning with this but I'm pretty sure my husband has been an alcoholic for the entire 20 years we've been married. He started having serious temper tantrums about two months ago and he started drinking more often about two weeks ago. I can't go to meetings yet. This website has gotten me throught the last three days. I cry every time I start reading the posts. I hate what you all are going through but I don't feel so alone anymore.
How do I find out about boundaries and the 12 steps? I want to do the program but I can't go to meetings. Yet. He has a "band meeting" tonight which means he will be drinking lots of alcohol and may end up sleeping in his practice building. I made up my mind that I'm not going to go get him. (It's in the back yard.) I'm guessing that's what you mean by setting boundaries. I'm going to spend the evening with my children. We're going to bed at a decent hour.
I'll be back to read more posts. Please tell me how to start doing the 12 steps, etc.
Welcome to MIP and your recovery. You are doing the right thing by getting information, weather it is here or in meetings the more you know the better. The first thing someone told me when I got here, was that evaluating if your husband is or is not an alcoholic is not as important as how his drinking effects your life. If it bothers you... it's a problem, and that is what this program is all about. Vise versa... no matter how bad it is... it's not a problem for him until he decides it is.
You will see talk here and in meetings about the 3 C's... you didn't Cause his drinking, you can't Control his drinking and you can't Cure it. His decissions about this are between him and his higher power...
And yes boundries are the decissions about how we will/or won't, take over responsability for another person. He is a grown man, and if he gets in a state where he falls asleep in the studio... that is his issue to work out not yours.
He won't be eaten by wolves in there... will he?
Of course there is much you can learn about the 12 steps here... they are a guideline to help you get your life back. But the best way is to find some meetings locally.
They are really a godsend.
I am glad you are here and wanted to welcome you. Many of us have been very much where you are now, and understand as others just are not capable what you are going through.
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
