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It stings-any esh?
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners, I have so much to be thankful for: my life, my job, my kids, my recovery program. This was a week from hell at work. I got thru it and I know that I have better boundaries. My AHsober came last weekend to "help" and as he was leaving dropped a bomb that he was buying land with a frien...
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nmike
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8
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557
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I'm so ANGRY!
(Preview)
I just got the following two emails from my A Message header was Thanksgiving I am not invited, whats up. Your new boyfried is an ass and wont let me see my kids. I filed for the devorce and they changed the amount for support to 25 a month and said unless I am wanted on charges. I can see the kids every other w...
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carolinagirl
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8
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390
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Ativan
(Preview)
Does anyone know someone who has taken Ativan to help quit drinking. It is to prevents headaches and shaking.
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leenyanna
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8
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642
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My husband's DUI
(Preview)
Hi All, I'm back again. As my husband tells me nothing about his upcoming DUI hearing/trial, I was home alone last night and took the oppurtunity to look at his email. I know his attorney's name, so I just looked for those emails. Well, he had emailed his attorney, now bear in mind that my husband is an...
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Chetch
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9
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361
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Recently Separated from My AH of 33 Years
(Preview)
I'm new to this board. I just spent about a hour reading posts and decided to give this a whirl. I've been separated from my AH for almost 6 months. After 30-something years of marriage, I decided that I could not live with alcoholism any longer. My once gentle, soft-spoken, good-hearted husband ha...
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stormie
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5
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546
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New here and some questions.......
(Preview)
A quick review of my situation. H and I have been together since high school (15 years) and married 7. We have a 6 year old and an 8 month old baby. He abused drugs before he met me, quit when we started dating for 2 years, smoked pot and binge drank pretty much every day in college, quit smoking pot so that...
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optimistundone
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5
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444
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Sunday Night Meeting
(Preview)
Hi family, Just a gentle reminder that the Sunday night meeting starts earlier, 4pm pacific. Hope to see you all there :) And just a heads up. The Topics will be Humor and Healing in alanon. Pages 322 and 323 in a Courage to Change :). Hope to see you there. Yours in recovery, Mandy
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Mandy123
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0
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235
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so painful..
(Preview)
Have been working the program for about a year and a half now - so great and learned to detach with Love. My A went into rehab and has been working a program for himself now for the past 4 months. After he got out I set some strong boundaries and said I would be willing to date but it had to be at a slow pace unti...
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twinkie
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3
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337
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New here and feeling LOST!
(Preview)
Hello I'm new here, I have been married to an alcoholic for 30 years (my god it has been a LONG time). Anyway we have been through all the ups and downs through the years of him being sober for long periods of time and then binges for months on end. But right now I am at a loss as what to do and so fed up with what he...
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CalVal
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7
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525
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Day NINE!
(Preview)
Ok so I quit smoking last Wednesday night so this is technically day nine. Yay for me! No cigarettes... Last night for some reason I was having VERY strong cravings and I tried to go out the door and the kids barricaded me in LOL one on the inside and one outside holding the door closed. Then when I final...
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carolinagirl
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7
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413
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Learning to lighten up and mellow out
(Preview)
I HAVE a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the...
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Tiger2006
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6
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852
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Venting
(Preview)
I have been getting tons of emails from the A lately and the last few have been interesting. One said we need to get together and talk about filing for divorce (I get those about once a week) and this time he added that if he doesn't hear from me by next week he's going to go ahead and file himself. My thinkin...
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carolinagirl
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8
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332
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Eating out of control
(Preview)
As many of you know, I had to put my precious Buster Cat down a week and a half ago ~ and it has been excruciatingly painful. My husband and I have been doing nothing but eating and crying and eating some more. This past Wednesday we picked up his ashes - which in a weird sort of way was comforting - he was home....
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Positivelydee
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2
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363
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Hey everyone :)
(Preview)
I'm new to this board. I am 25 years old and am from Michigan. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic and recovering cocaine addict. He also smoked pot daily for the first two and a half years of our relationship. I am a non-alcoholic non-drinker. I have been to some Al-Anon meetings but have a hard time g...
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kikgirl517
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3
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273
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need ESH on resenting
(Preview)
help! something so trivial has robbed me of my day. I am reacting to minor day to day irritations at work - it's really embarassing to react to them but today they add up to to much. well from there it spiralled into other topics and by the time I reached my office I was not my highest self. I spent the day tryi...
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Jill
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5
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662
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so upset i can't eat
(Preview)
I posted my dilemma about my husband who is an A and didn't stop drinking even after my daughter was born. Last night we got into an arguement and I locked my bedroom door. He has never been violent in the past, but he tried to storm into the room and when he found out that it was locked, he kicked in the door...
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lynnMat
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2
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373
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Daughter in-law update
(Preview)
My daughter in-law is home. We have had to jump through many hoops to get assitance with her perscriptions. One perscription is $1200!!! Her medicade did not follow her from GA because medicade is state...so no insurance (my son is union but his medical doesn't start for 30 or 60 days...I made lots o...
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marmare
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4
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355
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sending the A home to mom
(Preview)
I read two posts this morning where the action mentioned to get rid of the A was to "send him home to his mom". I know this is just desperation talking to get rid of him. Moms can't handle your A any better than you can. If she could, she would have by now. She didn't cause it, she can't contro...
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omajoy
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3
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455
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How do you prepare yourself?
(Preview)
Hello All, I haven't been here in a while, but I'm back for some thoughts and advice. The Alcoholic in my life is my dad. He's drank my entire life (I'm 27), and after almost 30 years of marriage my mom finally left my dad early this year. She just packed her and my little brother's things one day after o...
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Hopeless in AZ
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9
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503
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beginning phases
(Preview)
this is my first post. i grew up with an alcoholic father and ended up marrying an A too. he's a doctor and drinks 1-2 bottles of wine after work. he promised to quit after we had our baby, about a year ago, but the drinking and isolation in his home office has continued. I used to drink occ. but was neve...
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lynnMat
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3
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494
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Acceptance
(Preview)
I am so frustrated with the levels of acceptance there are. I had compassion for awhile but now I am having a temper tantrum (in my head) because I want to change things I cannot change. I have to accept my fantasy is not reality - fine, phooey!! Not much is going to change but me......at least there is t...
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ddub
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2
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289
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Unconditional apology...
(Preview)
A Letter to my daughter/son My dear child It is never too late, I am told for anything, but sometimes it is too little just to admit that I was not a good mother during your formative years. However, I am attempting to say I am so sorry. For not being there when you needed me to beFor shouting at you [althoug...
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Heartbroken
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2
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554
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Grief the holidays
(Preview)
The holidays are a tough time for me. From day one on the holidays the A never did take me into consideraiton. Back in the day when we had money I once arranged a wonderful vacation for us. I have made all kinds of excuses but basically he allowed his addiction to ruin the holiday. I had my own issues around m...
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maresie2
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1
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344
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Thank you everyone in Chat room
(Preview)
Hi, I am living with an alcholic and at times it is not good. The verbal assalts are so rough, I find myself apoligizing for things that i didnt do and i fear the abandonment due to childhood stuff. This weekend I was really not good but I found comfort and people to talk with in the chat room here at alanon. T...
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spirit
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3
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388
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Finally had it
(Preview)
I was coming on here regularly for a while - right about the time that I realized that the A in my life (live-in bf) was really an alcoholic and out of control. RIght now I'm just venting - and breathing a sigh of relief. We lived together for about a year and 4 days. WOW!! Many episodes transpired, car a...
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Kerowyn
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3
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283
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3 months later
(Preview)
I have not been to board for about 2 mos. Was feeling stronger and very busy with kids but seem to have crashed again recently. Just got the police report back on my BF's 8/1 fatal DUI crash. Blood alcohol was .23. Still having incredible guilt that I did not hear him leave the house that night or fores...
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klm4446
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6
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447
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Glad I found you
(Preview)
AH and I both had meltdowns Friday night. He'd lost his 3rd job this year and I told him when he started it that when this job is over so are we. When I left for work Friday morning I told him we needed to talk when I get home about splitting up. He took the opportunity to hit the bar and get drunk. He left me a...
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startingtoseethelight
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3
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447
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self help
(Preview)
I gotta make it so that if the AH screws everything up, I don't get screwed up right along it. Sometimes I have to reword things so that they will sink in. Maybe I just need to cover my ears with my hands and sing: (to the tune of "figaro") not my problem not my problem not my problem I actually feel...
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RainyJamie
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2
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303
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hard times and more hard times
(Preview)
As you all know I really sweated to get the current job I have now which is a pretty long commute from my house. I leave my house at 6:00 a.m and rarely get back to the house till 7:00 p.m Then I often do another 2 hours or so at the 2nd job on top of that. I've been putting feelers out for a better job for a while. I d...
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maresie2
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4
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515
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worst case scenario reality
(Preview)
I have spent my entire life being a helpful, compassionate person. Most of the time those with whom I have a relationship return that to me. I have no experience with being hated. Now my worst case scenario has happened. Last night my ex DIL came to pick up the grandbaby as she does each day; my husband and...
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omajoy
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9
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556
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Second Job and MAMA guilt
(Preview)
I took a second job delivering pizzas for Dominos (don't freak out Diva :) so now I am working an insane amount and trying to figure out if I can really balance all this. I worked the last two days on my days off from the regular job which I am at now. I will probably be working nights from 7-9 during the week...
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carolinagirl
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3
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509
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New here
(Preview)
My hubby is a drug user and an occasional drinker. He got drunk this last weekend and became very verbal abusive (again) I've had enough so I've decided to kick him out. He is playing on my heartstring and I feel lower than a snakes belly right now. He says where will I go? I have no place to stay. I want to yel...
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Godsgrl
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2
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376
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My brain hurts ... I just do not know what to do next!
(Preview)
This is how I feel. If I sleep my brain won't hurt! I have worked on Step 4 for a couple of hours looking at my inventory. And I simply do not know what to do with it. It seems like I will NEVER ever get past this step as I simply have too much to put right. I just do not know what to do next. ...
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Heartbroken
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11
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667
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Help me Clarify my Thoughts
(Preview)
I've got a difficult situation to deal with, and I'd like some input on the alanon perspective. It's a long story, but I'd like to lay it out to get it straight in my own mind. My husband's younger sister was a world traveller in her youth, moved back to their home city about 20 years ago, pregnant and sing...
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lin0606
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8
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543
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slogging through molaases
(Preview)
I find I am having to confront another fantasy here. I did not want to leave the A because I had this fantasy about he would at some point change. I've been gone 6 months now, if anything he is worse than he has ever been. Now I find I am confronting another fantasy that I would fall on my feet and not have to wor...
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maresie2
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3
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502
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I think I might as well shut up
(Preview)
I have written three posts tonight trying to unload my grief and hopelessness. I have deleted them and have decided that perhaps I try too hard. Perhaps it is best to shut the heck up and take what has been dealt to me. I have lost my little family to alcohol and divorce. I have lost the great relationship I...
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omajoy
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7
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630
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Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there:
(Preview)
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there: they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be: your roommate, neighbor, professor, long-lost friend, lover o...
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Lauren ashley
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4
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5084
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November Business meeting Minutes:
(Preview)
MIP November business meeting: November 11/07 Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer, 1st thing on agenda is OP schedule, which was posted along with a description of the requirements to be an OP. October Minutes were approved as written. Treasury report was given by dot: She reported t...
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serenity62
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0
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319
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procrastination
(Preview)
Okay, I am fortunate enough to have a "long" weekend in that I don't have work tomorrow (veteran's day) ... My intention was to work (finish) my step 4 Ahhhh intentions I have been working on (or I usually say "procrastinating on") Step 4 since JUNE I keep getting "stuck&qu...
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Positivelydee
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2
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385
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he wont stop and it kills me
(Preview)
my dad is an alcholic. he has been for a couple years now. he stopped for a couple weeks when my mom gave him the ultimatum. i came home tonight, and he started again. i should be used to it by now, but everytime he starts up again i am just so hurt and angry. my mom wants to leave him- but cant, because of us, &qu...
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islu1953
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14
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695
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HES DRIVING ME CRAZY
(Preview)
Well the AH hasn't had a drink for 3 days. But he's driving me insane. He wants to argue with me every minute of every day. I haven't been returning his arguments until today. I just lost it. The argument was over something stupid and I just went nuts. Usually I can busy myself with housework or something a...
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cookie1971
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5
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663
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Believe in yourself
(Preview)
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Christy
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2
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250
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baffling and brilliant
(Preview)
It never ceases to amaze me how my ah can turn anything and everything into blame on my part. Somehow, I think many of you can relate! Some background - ah has been out of house for 6 mos. He sees the kids a lot, but not on a regular schedule; mostly when convenient for him, but at least 5-6 times a week. Has ha...
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Loupiness
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2
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289
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bummer
(Preview)
AH was real drunk and I sneaky asked about the court summons he got in the paper. He told me it was for open container and that his drivers liscence has been suspended. It is very likely that he will not remember telling me this. My mind is still processing this information. But I can say, he is the only one w...
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RainyJamie
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5
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466
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RE: I Passed!
(Preview)
Updating my last post: I passed! It was so awesome! I mean the test was really hard but I gave it all I had, took over two hours. I checked and rechecked and then turned it in. I had to check online from my desk at work and when I read I passed I was just so relieved. Everyone at work crowded around and we just che...
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Belladay
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10
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1039
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Thank you Veterans
(Preview)
((((((((Family))))), Just wanted to take the time to thank all the veterans today. My Dad, Uncles and Grandfathers were all vets. Hubby was in the Navy too and I have many friends who are still serving. Thank you for your service. To all those out there serving thank you too. To the families, th...
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Karilynn
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0
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219
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He is coming to help....
(Preview)
My AHsober that moved out 2 years ago said he would come over this weekend to help me with wood, fixing things up, etc. I have tried to get anyone to help me with those things particularly after my shoulder surgery. He always says "do you want me to come over?" I say "what do you want to do?&...
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nmike
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4
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438
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Marriage or "end of" marriage counseling
(Preview)
On the way to work one morning, my daughter told me that Daddy hurt her. When I asked where, she pointed to it. As you can imagine, the worst fear that a mother could have was realized. I contacted her doctor, spoke with my AHs court therapist and now the Court Judge is aware of the situatio...
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Heather72
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6
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1415
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New and in need of advice.
(Preview)
I am new to thos board and so glad to have found it. My mother is an alcoholic and has been for the last 15 years. She goes through brief phases of sobriety. I am getting married next year. My mom and I were meant to go wedding dress shopping together a few weeks ago. She promised she would be sober. I turned u...
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ke2
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8
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413
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OUCH
(Preview)
Hi all ~ I just need to vent ~ As most of you know, I had to put my precious cat, Buster Boy, down this past Thursday morning. It was the hardest thing my husband and I hever had to do - he was our baby with fur and a very big part of our lives and who we had become. Crazy as that may sound to some. The "firsts&...
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Positivelydee
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5
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352
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Sponsorship is so hard for me, looking for advice please
(Preview)
I asked a woman to sponsor me. She said she would. She said she wanted me to call her once a week. I said I thought I could do that and then did not. I apologized and said I wanted to try this again she said OK and now I do not call her, still.
I have such a hard time reaching out. I cannot imagine bothering someo...
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Jean4444
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7
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504
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What is with the TV shows tonight?
(Preview)
I've been watching tv since 8. All 3 shows have had drugs/alcohol story lines. Is this because of the writer's strike? Are they recruting alanon members to write the story lines?LOL! One was a dad trying to keep his sons from the lifestyle of drugs and gangs. The second one character found her husband'...
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serendipity
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0
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276
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WOOHOO! IT'S SNOWING!
(Preview)
(((((((((((Family))))))), GOOD MORNING! Just wanted to officially document the first snowfall of the season here in NY! I'm so excited I can't stand it! While I can't make snow people yet or snowballs, it's truly beautiful. After a long tough week of work, I have a rare Saturday off, and lo and...
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Karilynn
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6
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361
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Looking for a poem
(Preview)
As many of you know, I had to put my precious Buster Cat to rest the other day and boy does this house feel EMPTY. The tears just keep flowing We decided to have Buster cremated and to receive his ashes back in an urn and we intend on doing a memorial of sorts ~ so ~ here is what I am looking for... There is a poem c...
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Positivelydee
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9
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1317
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I think I just got ripped off! (Long but what's new)
(Preview)
Help me put two and two together here . . . maybe it will equal ZERO and I'm imagining things, which is fine by me, I don't need the trouble! Yesterday mutual friends of exA and I brought over a cord of pine rounds for firewood. This was unannounced, as the puppies had chewed through my phone cord (again)....
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Kim65
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23
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1860
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i "should know"??
(Preview)
my (sober) A is throwing a fit tonight, not directing it at me but he broke a glass bowl, called someone and swore them out at 10:30pm, then kicked the phone across the room. before that, he'd gone out way before dinner, stayed out til 10, didn't tell me when he'd be back, i was worried he'd run out of gas or s...
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sadako
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3
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347
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USING AGAIN
(Preview)
I found out that my husband was using herion again. I found out the other day that he was using when we went to the emergency room. He has been going to the meeting yesterday is when he started. I am hanging in there. I going to try and go to my meeting for face to face tonight. He is now taking a drug to help him...
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nycbt
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7
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358
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Confused and feeling alone
(Preview)
Let me begin by introducing myself. I am a young mother of 2 little girls, and married to an alcoholic, drug user. My husband started AA in 2001, he did very well for his first year, he still has not had a drink since. He is also a drug user and has been for many years. He is not a constant user but has been caugh...
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elikapika
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3
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554
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Peggy7
(Preview)
Please check for a private message. Thank you.
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shimo
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0
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391
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Am I being Unreasonable
(Preview)
Hi everyone If you have read my topics you know that I have let my AH come back home. Now I am starting to regret my decision. Here is why and please tell me if I am being unreasonable or if he is reverting back to old abusive behaviors. It feels like the latter to me. Some background, my Ah was very emotionall...
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verenda
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13
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663
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