Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: It's my birthday


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 60
Date:
It's my birthday


And I am feeling sorry for myself! I have rec'd many calls and cards from friends and hubby-but I have 3 sons and spouses-and 2 step-children and spouses, and 6 grandchildren---and no one called or sent a card-or emailed. this goes on year after year----------I don't want gifts--I always remember their b'days etc. What would YOU do about it? Or am I being a "baby"?

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1917
Date:

Been there, done that exactly one month ago...it took me two weeks to get out of the rabbit hole. Poor me, boo-hooing, complaining, the works. ALL SORTS of wonderful friends and family members remembered my birthday, sent cards, presents, etc. Did I bother to pay attention to all that? Heck no! I focussed on the ones who did not. This is my disease and my stinking thinking.

BE GRATEFUL and focus on the people who love you and show you by honoring your day of birth. DETACH from the ones who do not. plain and simple. Take care, hope you get out of the rabbit hole soon- J.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2188
Date:

Tell them!!! "Guys...I do not want a gift. But a card or a phone call is expected. My birthday is _______.  Please try not to forget it again." And you might also let sons and spouses know that they should be teaching your grandchildren  social niceities, like remembering special occasions. A handwritten card is such a gracious offering.

You do not detach from sons, spouses and grandchildren over  an ignored birthday, and you are not "diseased" because they hurt your feelings. You can try to teach them more thoughtful ways.  That's part of being a loving grandmother.

Birthdays are the most important of days. I LOVE my birthday. It is the one day of the year that truly belongs to me. SO you enjoy yours, and remember they do love you. 

Diva

-- Edited by Diva at 23:43, 2007-11-03

-- Edited by Diva at 23:51, 2007-11-03

__________________
"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1371
Date:

((((((((Meagain))))))))

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!

Take care of you!


__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3223
Date:

First...

(((((Happy Birthday)))))

I think I would tell them how hurtful it was that every one of them missed acknowledging your Birthday.. Some people just got to be hit upside the head with reality before they understand what they did. There's nothing wrong with voicing how it made you feel.
No one is too busy to at the very least shoot off an e-mail or make a quick call.

Christy

__________________

If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 521
Date:

(((((Meagain)))))

Happy Birthday!! So sorry that your children and grandchildren did not send cards. I don't know if you have told them how his makes you feel. Since you send them cards and such they know that this is something that you feel is important.

Maybe if your husband spoke to them telling them how it hurts you they might do better next time.

Take of Yourself!!

Cookie


__________________
A person's a person no matter how small  --Dr Suess


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3656
Date:

((((((((((Meagain)))))),

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! cake.gif  party.gif  I know it hurts to be forgotten.  So tell them.  At my age, gifts don't matter.  But I do like to be remembered.  I'm just greatful that I'm on the right side of the sod (as my father in law) says!  My Mom and I use to have a tradition, that on my birthday we would take the day and give back to others.  Practice a random act on kindness.  That always made me feel better.

Remember to celebrate the beauty of Meagain.  You have a whole week to celebrate YOU! Do something extra special.  Go jump in the leaves!  Have a waterfight! Eat to your heart's content.  Remember calories don't count on your birthday week! hungry.gif  Boogie in the streets. stereo.gif 

Love and blessings to you and your family.

Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty aww


__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 446
Date:

Been there, done that and got the T-shirt, my children and family do not seem to care and I have not received anything on my birthday, mother's day, Christmas or whatever for yearsl part of being a one parent family most of their impressionable years and an exiled person from the rest of the family.

It is the not REMEMBERING and the apparent lack of care that hurts and the not wanting to be simply forgotten, or ignored or even made to feel invisible or of no value to them. No matter what you say or do, they only do what they want, and I have learned that it my response to it that has to be changed. And anyway, who wants to received a card, or a phone call that is prompted by guilt, much better to have one that is valuntarily given and therefore has true value/

Although it still hurts I am gratefult to those who do think about me and care enough to not let these events go by.

When I remember that I am thought about and cared for, even if it is not by my own family, then I think of all those who do not even have anyone to remember them. however GOD WILL remember and so will the angels.

Happy Birthday and I hope that the sun shone on the day, if not, perhaps it will today.

Love,
Heartbroken.

__________________
"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.