The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As you all know I am deeply in debt after living with the A for 7 years. I left him with practically nothing and he destroyed the only thing I had of value which was my truck which I was never able to recvoer despite my best efforts in getting a restraining order. . I have been working solidly for 6 months now but helped the A for 3 months of that so I didn't get to even deal with any bills until now. I sometimes feel like I will never pay them. My short term goal is to try to get a small amount in savings to have as a back up and then to start paying the long long road through the bills. I have been looking for a 2nd job with much trepidation because I didn't know if I would be up to it. I am still looking for a 2nd job (didnt find anything yet that I can do) but in the meantime I found something temporary. To cut to the chase I will get a very small check in the next week which can go towards the emergency fund.
Some of my core issues is that the A took everything and put it in storage. I paid on that storage unit for months then in detaching told the A I was not going to underwrite him anymore. Since then when he came to get some of his stuff out of my storage unit he wanted to take the shirt off my back and still insist everything but everything is his. I think he would take my underwear if he could for what? I have no idea if he has paid on the storage or not. I also have no idea what the status is of his court case. I work hard not to know.
So I am making very very slow progress. I feel like I will be paying back these debts at 90 and never have anywhere decent to live but I am doing the footwork and that is what counts. I know in time the footwork will gather a momentum and I will be out of the post A abyss.
I can totally relate to the financial mess you are in. I just try to work on one bill at a time and get it paid off, then tackle another. I have night terrors over our debt. I will start substitute teaching in a week or two to try to help, but we will never be debt free again.
I hear a sense of serenity in your post that is inspiring to me. We just have to remember, one thing at a time, one day at a time. Babysteps
Maresie, your positive out look astounds me, fills me with joy, and it is a model for others. Amazing! So the outcome is that you will make it just fine. Getting the emergency fund together sounds like a good plan...three or four times your monthly income is a good place to head for. After that, one bill at a time. With the resolve I "hear" in your writings, you WILL have a decent place to live, and you do have a positive future. Keep hanging in there. Second job can be anything; delivering pizzas, although I guess I don't recommend that for a woman...so scratch that one off the list. What I am trying to say, albeit not well, is that the second job can be a menial one just as long as it brings in some extra income. And a second job must not take up "thinking" time. That is reserved for the main employment. The second one should be one that you do, then go home and forget about.
Good luck to you. I know you'll be just fine.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
