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Got a call from mom that blew me away tonight. She had a theory: I had made it all up. I had made up all the things I've shared here with you, with my councelor, with my sponsorship family, with my closest friends. I had made up this theory so that my parents would not cut me off financially, and that I would continue to recieve financial support that would enable me to stay in school. She further went on that I had been approved to take alternative classes to satisfy my diploma, and was doing this without telling her, and instead dropped this bomb to con money out of her. She added this bomb to me: My father is persuing legal action against me. He's not suing me, apparently, but he is attempting to find a way to "protect himself against me" so that if ever I go public or something like that ( I would do this...why?) that it would be a matter of public record that I have bipolar, am an aclhoic/addict, and do not take my meds. So. That was a shock. So I got on the phone to my sponsor. And I talked it out. And tried to sort it out. I honestly have no idea what I said to her, I admitted; but it went along the lines of "Mom, nothing you or dad can do will make me change my story. Nothing you or dad can say will make me back down this time. It happend. And it caused me such traumatic harm I thought I would never get through it." My sponsor echoed the sentiment from last time: use this for recovery. Let this build your connection to God. Pray for her. And wait and see. And, as is my habit, we did an "absolute cannot get any worse than this senario:" I get served with court papers, I need a lawyer, and all of my journals, counceling records, and god knows whatever else, become matters of public records. Well, first things first, there are lawyers in AA/Al anon, and I would ask them (IF AND ONLY IF this were to come to pass, understand) "Do you know of anyone that could take my case pro bono, or could help me handle this on my own?" Then, as the court demands whatever it demands, handle it as is. Moreover, remember that the law is not completely black/white, yes/no, either/or. Getting my case to court would probably take an act of god depending on the statute of limitations. So, both of us having agreed on that, I agreed with her to take a deep breath, and leave it in Gods hands In the mean time, I need to lean on you again. I need to lean on the love and wisdom of MIP AFG, that we've "been there, done that, got the tshirt, you'll come through the other side." Thank you. So much. Love you.
I'm going to have to go back and read what you're talking about. What story? Just from what you've said it seems as if your parents gave you money or paid for your schooling with free will. Was there an agreement? Sounds like one big huge mess and I really hate when people (anyone at all) uses "labels" when they are trying to attack another person. Bipolor, alcoholism isn't to blame for all actions by a person. Sorry you are going through this. Sounds like you're mother is VERY bored and has nothing better to do. As I tell my sister and will pass on to my children ............ COVER YOUR BUTT at all times! Keep records of everything girl. We are here for you.
It really is amazing how humans can alter events in their mind to suit their needs at the moment. It is truly astounding to me how powerful denial really is. I can remember vividly a conversation I had with my ex wife one day. We used to hold hands all the time, walking, when we were driving, etc. One day towards the end she throws out "You never just hold me hand". I was incredulous!!
This was pre-alanon so of course I tried damn hard to convince her she was wrong, to no avail. I don't know! Is she lying, to herself to convince herself it is okay the things she is doing to sabatoge a relationship that she wants out of, or does she truly NOT remember doing it! Or is it me????? Did I dream the whole thing up? I absolutely know I didn't!
Anyway, keep the focus on what you can control, keep talking to your sponsor and coming to the group for support and love. Thats what I have learned works for me when confronted by the confounding!!!
What a phone call! I don't think this is the first time this has happened in your situation. I think this might be a bit easier for your mom to believe. My guess is your dad will not start legal proceedings. If he does, I doubt he will go far.
Denial is so powerful. You have broken through that. You are on the road to recovery. At this point you mom is wanting the comfort of denial. That doesn't mean you have to buy into it.
I am sure that phone call carried a huge sting....but you don't have to wear it. Your mom can believe what she wants. You just need to keep on keeping on! Your doing great!!! One thing I notice with the members of my family of origin that have not found recovery, is that they can pull me down with those phone calls in a New York minute. It is up to me to remember I now know how to take care of myself. I don't have to buy into that nonsense and neither do you!
Don't believe the propaganda,,,,You know the truth. My ex husband likes to rewrite history when it suits him too. Don't fall for it Tiger. You are so much smarter than that.
For her to have to accept this would mean she would have to realise that she had a part to play in all of it. It is horrible when they go into denial on these very serious issues. Stay cool and keep posting.
I would do this...why?) that it would be a matter of public record that I have bipolar, am an aclhoic/addict, and do not take my meds. 
