The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm currently in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic and have been for about four years. On and off I have been to face to face meetings in England but I am so busy with work and my degree I barely have time to go. However having discvered this site it seems like a god send I'm very interested in doing my steps properly, perhaps with a sponser when I get used to it. I was also wondering about the time difference? I have lots of issues to do with boundaries, trust and accepting unacceptable behaviour when I shouldn't and also getting involved in things when I don't need to do Any help will be greatly appreciated in getting started! Thank you
There are 2 meetings a day in the chatroom, you may be able to catch one of those. There is also a step work message board that may be helpful. There is lots of info in the posts and thier answers, you can gain a lot of knowledge about boundaries from reading them.
As far as your behavior concerning getting involved...It depends on what is going on. Most of the time we think we have to get involved to save and rescue, when in actuality we need to butt out and let the alcoholic deal with their own stuff while we learn to deal with ours.
Christy
-- Edited by Christy at 10:33, 2007-10-27
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Thanks for reply, felt a bit unsure as it was first post and also the I was unaware of time difference. Things are ok at the mo however that can all change within in a day I think when I have some time I will write a longer post with more details of some of my behavior as I realise I can only change myself not the alcoholic but I find I still get drawn in!
I get sucked in all the time. I have been in the program for a little over a year. This program works but it is slow (for me) and thorough. I often go backwards and then forwards. I am learning. The trick (for me) is to be gentle with myself when I do go backwards. But when I have gone backwards, I have a program to use and some new tools to use if I can only remember that/them and I usually do, it just takes me a little while (sometimes hours, sometimes a day or two as opposed to weeks, months, etc.)
See, I love this A. He is my husband. He loves me too. if we did not love each other it would be easy to just get a divorce and be done with it. But its hard. No one really gets it unless you are in it. Many of my friends think I am an idiot. My program friends don't. This is a family disease. I am new to this format and I am liking it a lot. Take care.
Welcome to the MIP family. No matter how long we are in the program we can all get sucked in to the A's behavior at times. The beauty of this program is that you get to start it all over at any time. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty <-- the cat
-- Edited by Karilynn at 18:37, 2007-10-27
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
The time difference varies between 5 and 6 hours from England to the East Coast USA, depending on Daylight Savings Time. I usually just figure 5 hours: SUBTRACT 5 hours from UK time to get East Coast time (like New York or Miami). So noon in the UK is 8am East Coast time. Subtract ANOTHER 4 hours to get West Coast time, like California. So 8am UK time is 3am in New York, and 11 pm the night before in California.
You might also like to check ola-is.org (Online aLAnon Information Service).
One ironic thing that more than one of us has noticed is that when we make sure to go to meetings, we actually seem to have MORE time - less of it spent in worrying and obsessing, I expect. I find myself asking - what am I supposed to be DOing, and where did all this time COME from, anyway???
Welcome from Australia Chick I haven't been on for a while as I have had visitors staying. Keep the focus on what you can do to improve your life and make sure you take time to smell the roses in between study. Luv Leo xx
