The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
just for today, i would like to share something with you. last week something happened to me. this week i am on my way to hospital and doctor appointments for a multitude of tests. last week , before i realized i was ill, i wanted to share this poem with you. i love it, twenty years ago, i found it tucked away on a piece of board in a little drugstore in a small town in northern alberta. maybe it meant so much to me because i had just moved from Canada's capital city, Ottawa, to this small bush town in way northrn alberta. there was very little pavement and this was my first exposure to the "natives of the reserves of Alberta". quite a different lifestyle for me. i came to this town in pink high heels [word was the "ottawa girl will never make it " twenty years later, i am still here] i soon exchanged those shoes for something a little more sensible to wear on my feet, the town is set along side a beautiful lake and the sidewalks [such as they are] left much to desire for a woman in fancy shoes.
i did not share this poem before because i was afraid of the negative feedback i might get from those who mean well by giving advise, i was feeling vulnerable because i was ill, although i did not know i was i seriously ill. this week, i have been told i have a problem in the third cranium of my brain......a blood clot, an anorism, high blood pressure, and quite possibly a stroke . i have been feeling unwell for at least a week. i was very shocked and taken completly by surprise when i was told by my doctor of these medical conditions. i have never expereienced so much as a ripple in my physical health. i am forty - seven and healthy.[i thought]
just for today i would like to say, my name is jewely, i am a greatfull member of alanon, and, i would like to share my small treasure of words with you.
An 80's Woman
I'm a woman of the 80's, I'm supposed to have it all...... to juggle twenty things at once and really have a ball! I'm supposed to be assertive and to stay in tip-top shape, I'm supposed to have a great career and make the perfect crepe! I'm supposed to have a make-over, to have a models looks, see all the latest movies , and be up on current books. I'm a woman of the eighty's, I'm supposed to be so free ......... but all i REALLY want to be is absolutley ME !
author anonymous
the author of this short poem may not by a byron, keats, or wordsworth, but she was able to express quite simply the ways of " this woman of the 80's ".
it sounds like i should do a step four uh huh...... been there , done that, and will do it again. and of course, i really should do a step ten. maintenance , maintenance and, yes, i will. again and again. but just for today, i can't. my brain is stuck in the third cranium, and i just wanted to share the heart of me with you through this poem, because i really do like it and i don't want to have to analize everything i do through the twelve steps [this could be the blot clot on the third cranium of my brain talking, apparantly it can cause some confusion]
I think that we all arrive at a time in our lives when we search for who we really are and strive to find out just who "me" really is. It took me a while to realize that I wasn't just rolling through dealing with what life dished out. I had some control. My reactions to life's challenges had much to do with the way the world reacted to me. My changed perception made a huge difference in how I saw everything.
I wish you strength, love, positivity, eternal hope and the inner knowing of your true self.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
i am trying to mull through what you just said. these last few weeks have been ones of confusion. apparantly what is going on in the third cranium of my brain [whatever that is ]affects my thinking somewhat. lending some confusion to my thoughts words and deeds, i feel vulnerable right now. and tired. my medical condition could most likely be the reason i was almost in a car accident in the city a week or so ago. by tuesday the tests should all be done. then i will know better as to what is really going on. as for just rolling through life, well, just for today........, i have to takes what life gives me, i have no choice, my brain seems to be giving up and my body seems to be following with it. i am concerned, actually , i am afraid. it is through this forum that i write my thougts on this message board, never expecting or even wanting feedback. but, knowing the feedback will come. by writing here, i can get my inner thoughts out of me , and, by reading your comments, i can learn some more about me. i have delegently been attending face 2 face meetings, have come to peace with the miles and miles of driving i have to do to get from one meeting to the next and the next and the next. they are all in different small towns and this can be somewhat fun at times, except when one is feeling unwell. there is a meeting on the edge of the city that is about 90-100 miles from here. i really enjoyed that one. i enjoy them all
i have come to a place within myself where i don't go to alanon because i have to go, but, because i want to go. i have heard it said at open AA meetings time and again
re: my previous comment. Sometimes I am a little vague with the meanings of certain things (on purpose). To explain a bit... I believe we create most things that happen in our lives. I also know that's hard for many people to swallow/understand. For instance, what in our lives led us to choosing alcoholic mates? There is choice there. As for sisters and brothers, we have choices in how we will react to them. Have you ever wondered "How would my life have been if I had made this choice instead?" That's what I'm talking about. I don't think there is a preset path, otherwise there would be no choices.. I think we build our lives according to the choices made. We choose the people in our lives, we choose our work, we choose to have children, we choose to have fun or sulk....or not. Any choice we make could drastically change our lives.
I also believe strongly in The Law of Attraction. If you live your life in gratitude, joy, and refuse to be a victim of what we have self created, you will attract that lifestyle and like-minded people. I hope that clears up what I meant and not confuses you further...lol This may help if you are up to reading more. (copy/paste it in to your browser, my link thing on here doesn't seem to be working).
http://www.freewebs.com/99blueice/thesecret.htm
Take care, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
i am wondering what led you to believe i don't like the alcoholics in my life.
I LOVE THEM !!!!!
everyone one of them,
i go to alanon for myself to learn how to live with them
as for choices.......,
i don't know,
what about the innocent little girl that has been molested by her sunday school teacher? [i know her well]
i am quite certain she did not choose that.
the law of attraction?
did the little girl attract the pedophile or did the pedophile attract the little girl?
is there no such thing as the innocent one.
again,
i am not confused by your words,
only trying to lend understanding to what you are saying.
the poem "An 80's Woman" is not about anyone in my life but me. someone who lived in the time of soceity known as the 80's, our role models were Charlie's Angels, The Bionic Woman and Cagney and Lacy. surely we are products of what we live and learn. i am a woman of the eighties and quite frankly enjoyed those day, but, really christy, what it all boils down to is.........., all i really want to be is me.
I don't recall saying you didn't like alcoholics? Where'd that come from?
About the little girl, LOA does have an explanation for these instances, too detailed to discuss here. It certainly wasn't "her prewritten, predestined path". The LOA in very involved, hence why I said I'm usually pretty vague in stating my beliefs. And it appears that I should continue to be :) For some reason you seem to think I was challenging you in some way. I wasn't. I continue to wish you well, Christy
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
i have just suffered an anorism and damage in the third cranium of my brain this week, it is not to likely that i am about to challenge anyone. my head hurts, everything hurts, and, trying to sort out what you have been saying kind of hurts. writing here these last couple of days was just a way to take the edge off the confusion, fear and pain of what has happened to me. as i have heard from you in the recent past dear......... just, "take what you like and leave the rest".
thank you for your consideration in not wanting to hurt my head. through the pain in my brain , and my somewhat limited understanding of the LOA, i wondered........., what attracted you to my post and caused you to respond?
I responded with my ES&H of how I found "me". I didn't realize you were merely writing for your own benefit. Most people write in hopes of getting a response. With your current medical issues I thought you might benefit greatly from the positivity of LOA. It has much to do with envisioning your best outcome. Alanon and LOA have much in common. I responded from the heart with no other motive..
Christy
-- Edited by Christy at 09:43, 2007-11-05
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
of course i wrote for my own benifit........ to share my expreience, strength and hope [and in this case fear and my vulnerability] one of the first things i learned in alanon is to do the program for me, that is why i gave myself so willingly to the program. something for me. but i don't read much alanon on this forum......., the slogans, the serenity prayer, twelve steps, twelve traditions, concepts, conference approved literature, ect, that is what i need and want in my life and thought i would get here. i have been a greatfull member of alanon for about fifteen years. and, that is where i want to be. so , thankyou for sharing your ESH concerning LAO, but, chritsty, it is the gentle, loving interchange among members and the DAILY reading of Alanon literature that make us ready to recieve the priceless gift of serenity. this is what i am in pursuit of on a daily basis. i thought perhaps the Laws OF ATTRACTION may have been that you and i were attracted to the same thing....., SERENITY, through the Alanon program. i hope so. many blessings of the day to you dear friend.
[WE AREN'T PERFECT......, YOU'LL DISCOVER, ALTHOUGH YOU MY NOT LIKE ALL OF US, YOU'LL LOVE US IN A VERY SPECIAL WAY__ THE SAME WAY WE ALREADY LOVE YOU.
