The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So last night the AH decided to come home, I was cleaning the kitchen after the mess the kids made and went to put the trash in the garage. Well, apparently somewhere in the middle of this I had supposedly said something that set AH off, because he came into the garage, closed the door, and proceeded to stand between me and the door, all while screaming at me. Saying things like "I'm not here for you, I'm here for our daughter. You just keep running your mouth. I don't give a f*** anymore". Well, I just stood there, repeating my little prayer in my mind.
He finally goes back in the house, I sit down in the garage, and just proceed to cry. I can't handle it anymore. So a little later, he lays down and I go in the bathroom to pick up the clothes and towels that they left. I pick up his jeans to sit on the counter and out falls all of his change and a little pill, but 1/2 of it is gone. Well, that seriously distrubed me b/c of our daughter, so I ask him, what is it? He flips out on me again and says "you were going through my wallet". Ummm NO! I was picking your jeans up, the change is still on the floor stupid! So I start repeating my prayer while he is yelling at me again, and then what came out of his mouth next made me sick, but made me laugh because it was that damned ignorant!
He had the nerve to try to tell me that the pill was a viagra, and that he had taken 1/2 of it because he figured he and I would have sex since I was mad! I almost took it personal, because I had the thought the run through my head "what does he think I am? A bar whore?" But then I got tickled and said "you thought that huh?" Well, that made him mad, so grabbed some of his clothes and left again. He called me on his way to where ever he was going, and attempted to pick another fight, I think he got tired of arguing with the answering machine because after an hour or so he gave up.
I can't imagine what world this man is living in, because it certainly isn't the same world as me.
In recovery hindsight there is humor there. I saw where you allowed yourself to cry and missed where you allowed yourself to laugh. It'll come with more recovery.
Using my past experiences as the filter for your share I reacted with, "So what's the big deal?" LOL some of the old enabling thinking is still functioning.
Was the pill a little blue one...I wondered? I wondered a bunch of other things too but then again it's certainly not any of my Al-Anon business is it?
Jerry sitting quietly, Letting go and Letting God.
Jerry thanks so much for the comment, I sure wasn't able to laugh, but now that I reflect on it, I able to. As for the little blue pill -- I'm pretty sure it was a viagra...lol...and he said it was...lol...(I'm actually finding the humor in this one). Either way, it was the other day that all of this occured and today is a new day. Thanks! Charity
