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"Optimists"
(Preview)
Why is it that optimists seem to be so much happier than pessimists?
There is something really wonderful about optimists. They're fun to be
around, aren't they? No matter how bad their situation, optimists can always
find something to enjoy - usually simple things like the taste of a go...
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Peggy7
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3
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269
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Feeling the rage again
(Preview)
I'm back again feeling very stressed the past few days. I don't even know what's triggering this or where to begin. But I'm not feeling well and feel a lot of negativity and want to vent. I know that is not healthy and I feel miserable afterwards.
I finally got a counselor to help me...
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twinkie
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1
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263
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Just gave in on Thanksgiving
(Preview)
What is it about the stupid holidays that make us feel obliged to deal with these people. Mind you if we didn't have kids together I would have said hell no! But since we do I feel obligated to let him see his kids on the holidays. I really don't want him to come and think we would have&nb...
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carolinagirl
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7
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503
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my story
(Preview)
It seems we have some new comers, so I thought I'd tell my story again, especially since it's changed a little. I've been on this board for 1 year, 8 months, 11 days. So here's my story:
I am an only child. My mom has been an A all my life - even while she had me.From the time I was a baby to...
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Lanchas
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1
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244
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break
(Preview)
Home for Thanksgivng break. Really nervous about how Thanksgiving will be since my mom is crushed about the lack of family coming. Hoping to have a good break despite things.
Since I'm home I'll be on here more so if anyone needs to talk or anything send me a message.
Lanchas
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Lanchas
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0
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181
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He is back for now....
(Preview)
(((Everyone)))
Thanks so much for being here this year. You all have wonderful support and I have learned so much here - I can't tell you how this board and you wonderful souls have saved me so many times.
AH is back, he is 24 days sober and he is acting like his wonderful self again. It is...
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hersh
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5
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301
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Lets talk about self-pity
(Preview)
(((((Everyone)))))
I need some help in dealing with my AW's self-pity. I know this is common, and I know she is not happy right now for many reasons. This weekend I just couldn't keep my mouth closed.
Every conversation with her has become how much her life sucks. I feel for her...
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rtexas
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11
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616
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Do It Anyway
(Preview)
What a beautiful new song from Martina McBridge ------- hmmmmmmmmm, I wonder if she's in program
You can spend your whole life buildin'
Something from nothin
One storm could come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You could chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you...
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Maria123
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1
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241
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Frustrated
(Preview)
I feel the sucking of getting sucked into drama all around me. My MIL called at 12:30am to tell me her lost baby called collect last night and then emailed me at 130am saying that he told her it would cost $900 to get the truck out of impound. I called last friday and it was $465. Today I c...
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carolinagirl
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4
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288
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Responsible Custody
(Preview)
(((((All)))))),
I have been thinking about a concept brought up by a group member in one of my home groups. She talked one night of how we often in a relationship give people 'custody' of things. Giving someone 'custody' is not always a bad thing, in fact if it's balanced and in context of a healthy fam...
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BlueCloud
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0
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319
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Just Saw my A Daughter
(Preview)
So I went to lunch at a local restaurant, as I was leaving in walked my A daughter & her abusive boyfriend. The boyfriend ignored me - but my daughter did acknowledge me.
We hugged & did the typical "Hey, how are you?, What are you doing?" She said, "I'll call you later"
Geez - I felt lik...
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Rita G
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11
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413
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Am I cold?
(Preview)
So, my Abf and I went to a party on saturday. When I picked him up from lunch, he already had a few drinks in him. We got to the party and he started drinking more and more and then I recognized in his face he had done coke. He started to pick a fight with a co-worker, a huge argument started and the party was ruin...
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Violeta
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4
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370
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What constitues drunk driving????And when is it meddling??
(Preview)
I have a situation and would like any ideas.
My husband's claim is that in a 2 1/2 hour time frame, he consumed about 6 beers, last beer about 8-8:30pm. He got a call at 2:45 am to go to work. He drives tractor trailer. Is he still legally drunk?
That was Friday night into Saturday morning. Then Saturda...
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horselover58
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15
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531
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Well here is my story - about to divorce a parent
(Preview)
Seriously.
About a year ago sister and I put together a lot of pieces and well! what a whole we found. Dear old Mom, the martyr, was quite the drinking girl.
As is so often the case, the hard part is separating her outrageous (drunken) behavior from her awful betrayals as a sober person. Which ca...
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HereIam
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5
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332
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The Car
(Preview)
This really is not about any alanon topic that I can discover. However, I don't know who else to ask, so please forgive me for straying from the subject.
My car needed an alignment. So I went to a tire store. There were 2 female customers there ahead of me. Ther...
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ditto
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3
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218
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IT HAS STARTED AGAIN!!!
(Preview)
HI to everyone. I haven't been here in a LONG TIME! And that is good I think. Well to me it was. That meant things were going ok w/my A husband. He has been clean and sober for 6 months and one week to the day as of last Thursday, 11/16/06.
Here is the pooper.....he has been gone since th...
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QOD
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13
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467
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break up
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I'm breaking up with my Abf which is long overdue. I'm upset about the fact that I love his family...his sister is the best and treats me like a sister....and his mum welcomes me all the time.
I really enjoyed going to his parent's house on Sunday afternoons, and just chatting. We h...
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annmarie
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5
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281
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A Brief update
(Preview)
Thank you, to everyone for all your lovely words of encouragement. This is probably the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life (I thought childbirth was - boy I was way wrong ).
Just wanted to let everyone know that he came home on Saturday night, I dropped our son off at...
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Messy
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1
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166
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Really confused and feeling stupid.
(Preview)
I’ve been reading through the posts for a while, finding so many similarities between peoples’ stories and what I have been going through. I am hoping that these messages will give me the strength and courage to do what I need to do.
I have an A b/f – we’ve been seeing each other f...
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Kethry
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6
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427
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I gave in to the fear...
(Preview)
...and now I'm planning again, but terrified of failling (again).
I had planned to leave my AH in September. We talked about it, I gave him a date so he'd know when he would need to start taking care of the bills on his own, etc. When it came down to signing a lease on my own place, I panicked. He said...
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Katastrophe
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3
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314
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HERE WE GO AGAIN
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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ally
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1
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238
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Holidays around the a
(Preview)
My mom and I are the only people in the program in our family. She is here visiting from out of town and I feel obligated to be around family that is active in there drinking, however on the same side of the coin I want to go. I'm confused in my own mind.
My sister who, last time my mom was here, told my m...
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nwwoman
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7
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381
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Proceed with caution
(Preview)
So the silence has finally ended and last night we hugged for the first time in 3 weeks. Now what? I haven’t asked him to stop drinking and he has not offered to. Don’t want to slip into denial but can’t live with the silence. Does anyone have any self-reflecting questions I should be...
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Elizabeth M
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7
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251
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some happy news
(Preview)
hi everyone,havent posted in awhile..but as some of you know i am married to an alcoholic..he is still drinking,and it is getting worse,he drinks every weekend,and drinks when he is off work during the week..i just noticed a little while ago{when i took the dogs out}that the side of my house is scorch...
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bev
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6
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226
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Frustrated
(Preview)
Hi I'm new to the board but not to Alanon. I have been attending f2f meetings for over 2yrs now. I have been married to my active A now for 3yrs. We seperated a year ago and are currently trying to work things out even though he has not quit drinking. I have learned alot thru Alano...
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FairyTales
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3
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235
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I've come a long way
(Preview)
I've packed up my kids and we now live in town, many miles from Angie and her drinking. I made big steps but still find her causing much problems in our home! Seems that her and her boyfriend have been fighting and she dosent have a place to stay. How can I refuse the mother of my childre...
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Keoki
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4
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256
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Getting out of God's (my HP) way
(Preview)
I had a really bad day yesterday. It was one of those days that I did not get out of bed for very long. Today is much better! My A son seems to be spiraling downward. My thought for this is that he does not have a job, seems to be very depressed and just doesn't know what he is going to do. Now...that is just my opi...
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Gailey
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2
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324
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Update
(Preview)
Hi (((Everyone))),
I have been meaning to post for awhile. I'm still trying to attend 3 -4 alanon meetings a week. My epidural steroid in Sept. didn't help so have been referred to a neurosurgeon for the discs in my neck. In October I had only a few days migraine free and was...
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cedarpines
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11
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373
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AHA moment from Lynn (confused)
(Preview)
As a mother of two sons, this concept frightens me, with all the isms already rearing their ugly heads, the consumption is just a part of the disease they have yet to experience. I have carried this fear for a long time, that they too will become alcoholics. That they are genetically predi...
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Gailey
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3
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237
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Wow - I think I'm getting it ...
(Preview)
Wow - I think I'm finally getting it. I cried last night - and I haven't been able to do that for some time (at least not without anger, but more with the feeling of letting go). My father passed away 4 months ago, and at one time in my life I thought when that happened, it would destroy me, but I'...
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HadEnuff
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1
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263
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Effective Ways to Deal with ANGER (and other primal emotions)?
(Preview)
Dear Roomies,
I have been attending Al-Anon for just over a year.
I entered Al-Anon because my emotional life felt completely unmaneagble--my feelings were up, down, and all-around, and I was often reactive to people close to me. I figured that these feelings probably had their roots in my chil...
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BlueCloud
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5
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430
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I am new
(Preview)
Hi I am new, my name is noah,
Just learned that one of my A friends will be moving to the same city
as me and also studying at the same university as me. Also, at the moment
I am living with my father the recovering A, but a royal a-hole lately. My
focus has been on all the...
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Noahs Ark
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4
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246
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|
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daughter drunk
(Preview)
I am so disgusted. My 19 year old daughter got drunk (she's away at school) and basically got nasty and violent. When friends tried to calm her down, she hit one of them. The girl elbowed my daughter trying to get away from her, resulting in a swollen face/bruised face. Then she walked in...
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evey
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13
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454
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when does Aism start in a person?
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I've been trying to come to terms with this thing alcoholism/addiction in my own mind, seeing as it has governed my life so much. Something puzzles me and wondered if anyone could make it easier for me to understand.
All or the As in my life, father, two partners, other re...
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annmarie
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5
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259
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I helped him go, but I needed him to leave
(Preview)
I helped my son get to Florida today. He gave me his car to sell and I bought him a ticket and gave him some cash. I could have refused and let him sell the car and buy his ticket, but I wanted him to leave so badly. I know he will drink anywhere if that's what he wants to do, but he has been sob...
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laurab
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5
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339
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What the????
(Preview)
I was just thinking and rereading the personality question.
We were asked once in one of my classes to define personality. What is a personality type? I don't buy it.
There is no such thing in my experience. My personality is all the "unique" things about me all in one, me.
So as far as I am concerne...
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debilyn
|
1
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228
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Surgery date!!!!!
(Preview)
Hi (((((((roomies)))))))
I just got word that my back surgery date is set. It will be on Dec 20th Kinda close to Christmas but what can ya do. I will be down for a while but I bought a laptop yesterday so I will be able to keep in touch.
Thanks for all your support
Love...
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shadow1
|
9
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326
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Had a fight with my oldman this morning
(Preview)
Had a fight with my dad this morning. It just came out of me, all this anger. He is in the program but lately he's been getting everyones attention in the house coming home on the weekends miserable. It has been lousy. I let it go until today and let it out of me. It was painful to see me yelling at him like I use...
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Noahs Ark
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3
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443
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going through the process of breaking up
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I'm going through a break up with my Abf at the moment. I know there are some people who are going through similar at the moment, and some who would like me to share whats going on for me through this. Also, I am writing today to gain clarity...and maybe sanity for myself.
I am leaving this...
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annmarie
|
2
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300
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|
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Taking care of me first
(Preview)
hello ((((((((friends)))))))),
I have had a few crazy experiences this week.....hub left hospital didn't go to rehab.. his dad called him and said, you need to come home you got your job back....how stupid was that.....anyway of course, the next day out he was back in the crack house..... wow
...
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Andrea12
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8
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479
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Remind Me of Something Wonderful
(Preview)
In the discussion of positive results of Al-Anon, one member told of now being able to love his Dad. I had forgotten that about me! Coming here, focusing on what is mine and help from my HP allowed me to love my Dad, too. I smiled when I read his message. What a relief it was for me to just love my own dad. I didn...
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Jill
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3
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335
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Hope for Today reading-Nov 18
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners,
We had an awesome f2f meeting today around the Nov 18 reading. As I was driving to the meeting I was thinking that I should speak up when they say do you want to do a topic or forum favorite. Then I thought, no, let your HP lead the way. Boy, did this reading hit home. I hide and hedge and do not c...
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nmike
|
1
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337
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|
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Stopping the Insanity
(Preview)
A couple of years ago, if you had asked me to define what a crazy person was, I would have described to you someone you might find in an institution. Then a year and a half ago I joined Alanon and learned a very different definition for insanity. Albert Einstein once defined insanity as "doing the same thi...
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NottaClu
|
4
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376
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|
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crying the last few days
(Preview)
I've had a trying few days. my A and i have been fighting and instead of stopping to drink to deal with this, he just continued to drink day after day...
its usually only a couple of days a week that he drinks, but when we fight it is an everyday thing....
So i've been beside myself for afew days and i've w...
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arty
|
4
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378
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|
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A poem From An Addict
(Preview)
Hello Dear Friends,
I received this in the mail today:
ME
Sitting in his room is driving me wild..
I feel nothing but hurt and lonliness..
I sit in the corner like a little child, who 's been caught makint a mess.
Why is that I can do nothing right? Why do I hurt the one's I love..
...
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Andrea12
|
5
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312
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|
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I've reached MY rock bottom
(Preview)
I have not posted here in a while. I've read the boards, but kept to myself ... not really sure why, just wanted to stay in the back ground.
My A, if anyone remembers, went to rehab 6 months ago, came home, and went to the bar on my birthday. He sobered back up, got his 3 month chip from AA, then disapp...
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MdmDragonfly
|
6
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461
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|
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When you love them - how do you let them go?
(Preview)
Well... here I am... stuck wondering what to do. I love him but I am not sure I can live like this much longer. Living pay check to pay check because our money is spent at the bar and liqour store. I want to stay but I want to go. I want him to chose me over his buddies and h...
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Messy
|
5
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383
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my growth and the gifts of the program
(Preview)
Hi everyone, it has been awhile. Lots has gone on, but the fact still remains, my husband is still an A and I am still affected. Some of you know where I was a year ago when I found this room. Sad, Confused (thus the nick), scared, the list goes on and on. Well I am in...
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confused
|
3
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451
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Working on Detachment
(Preview)
This has been a really hard thing for me. I am a "natural hover-er" as is my mother, trying to control everyone and everything around her.
My AH has been made to attend Domestic Violence classes thru the court, due to a lot of stuff that happened almost 2 years ago, and most recently last D...
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Becky1
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2
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206
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Ally's Friend
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((((((((((You Know Who))))))))))))))))))))))))(lol)
Ally has a good friend in the room, kinda like a soulmate, she has not saw in a while.
So this is just a wee note to say, Im thinking about you, Hoping you are doing well,And Please get in touch with me. (I is Missing You) (private...
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ally
|
0
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182
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|
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Share Positive Stories
(Preview)
Hello all,
We all know the terrible times, the pain and hopeless that living with a Alcoholic can cause.
So I was hoping we could share some of the good things that have come about by using Al-anon, this website and believing in our HP.
I for one am feeling hope, moments of joy and more securi...
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Orchid Lady
|
9
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500
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|
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Angry and confused
(Preview)
"Sometimes the choices I make are not as important as the fact that I make them." Hope for Today, pg. 341
((((Everyone))))
At my F2F meeting this was read, we were discussing the 11th step. It was an important meeting for me -- the day before I went to the Attorney's office. I was blown a...
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Lunamoth
|
8
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422
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|
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Life after A/son home from prison
(Preview)
Oh gosh, that subject line sounds so dramatic and I don't feel particularly dramatic......
I just wanted to let you all know how it is going here. I have been kinda absent, which actually has been a good thing. Not because this is a bad place, but because things have been going unbelievable we...
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doxie
|
7
|
333
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|
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Useless to talk to As
(Preview)
Everyone says it is useless to talk to As. My ex even recently told me this.
I don't quite grasp this entirely.
I rarely drink, and have rarely gone overboard when I do. I've never had a blackout, so we'll not bother with that, I understand a blackout is a blackout.
Does drinking caus...
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Tryin2havfaith
|
8
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409
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|
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P.U.S.H.
(Preview)
Just received this through my e-mail--thought it was a really nice story. I hope you enjoy.
The author is unknown.
P.U.S.H.
A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled
with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him
to do, and showed...
|
hudsond
|
2
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274
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|
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Update again - long
(Preview)
Well, the realtor is getting concerned that the buyers are paying all this money for inspections etc. and we won't be able to contact him to sign the papers. The closing attorney said I would have to file a lawsuit in order to get the right to sell the house without him. He said it would be long and costly. I...
|
carolinagirl
|
4
|
336
|
|
|
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Dealing with ex-AH and kids
(Preview)
Hi all!
I am having a very difficult time with my ex-AH and his behavior regarding visitation with our 5 yr old daughter and the legal system. Basically to make a long story short we divorced after an extremely nasty proceeding in which he accused me of many terrible things like drug addiction...
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just me
|
8
|
1137
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getting better one day at a time
(Preview)
I am going to be busy all week next week working every single day. The A is trying to put a spin on how sad it is his mother is not around to cook thanksgiving for him and his brother. Every year he went off to his mother's for thanksgiving. He could care less what I did. He neve...
|
maresie2
|
1
|
209
|
|
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starting over
(Preview)
I had an accident at work and all the red tape to get workers comp. has been a nightmare. Here it is a month later, I'm still in pain, not working, and with no income.
I was suppose to get married last month, but we had another huge arguement about my son and now we are separated. My son and I are livin...
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sld488
|
3
|
216
|
|
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My first one on one with my sponser
(Preview)
OK...tomorrow morning is my first meeting with my sponser outside of a f2f Alanon meeting. I am not sure what to expect. She is very easy to talk to but I am not sure I should ask her questions about her personal life or am I suppose to just let her ask me questions about mine.
I don't know whether it will be...
|
Gailey
|
4
|
297
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