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starting over
(Preview)
I had an accident at work and all the red tape to get workers comp. has been a nightmare. Here it is a month later, I'm still in pain, not working, and with no income.
I was suppose to get married last month, but we had another huge arguement about my son and now we are separated. My son and I are livin...
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sld488
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3
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218
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My first one on one with my sponser
(Preview)
OK...tomorrow morning is my first meeting with my sponser outside of a f2f Alanon meeting. I am not sure what to expect. She is very easy to talk to but I am not sure I should ask her questions about her personal life or am I suppose to just let her ask me questions about mine.
I don't know whether it will be...
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Gailey
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4
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298
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Am I being unreasonable?
(Preview)
Part of my recovery includes dealing with some financial demons of the past. I have worked to get many of my past debts cleaned up one at a time as I cannot do them all at one time. I returned a call from the guarantor of my student loan which I have been making sporadic payments to. I rea...
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AlaMom
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4
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344
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What does sanity look like now?
(Preview)
(((Hello Group)))
In working with my sponser I have begun to look at sanity and what that means to me and what sanity looks like now. The only point of reference I have to gauge myself on is life before the A. My life looked very different then. I was single, had a good job, my own apar...
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twinmom2
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5
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603
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voices inside the head today
(Preview)
O.k. not like audible voices--just those that keep telling me--I am not satisfied with things in my life, I am not important, I am lonely, I am fat, this is not the way my life was suppose to end up, watch out your husband has had 3 sober months but you know things for you can't go good so you know something is...
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hudsond
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5
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303
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Working on what "I" want
(Preview)
I accepted the job I was offered and already don't like it, after working just two days. There is a lot of down time and no customer contact. I had a hard time telling my A. I didn't want to see ungrateful, because I am grateful that I am employed. I had to work this out in my mind I g...
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marmare
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2
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180
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establishing boundaries
(Preview)
Today I have practised setting boundaries, in small things, like refusing to allow people to do what they like in the work environment that I am responsible for. In some ways I am paying for it with snide jokes and bullying behaviour which I am also calling up on. For instance, what do you mean by that is w...
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maire rua
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2
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357
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Speaker Meeting
(Preview)
Please keep me in your thoughts & prayers tonight - 6:00 (CST), as I will be sharing my story of recovery at my home group meeting, again.
The person that was suppose to share reschedule to December, so I'm filling in for him tonight.
It seems that my HP has been calling me to do this severa...
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Rita G
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7
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309
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what is wrong with me?
(Preview)
my best friend had a baby on tuesday. she is nursing right now. i nursed all of my babies and i am her biggest support as far as that goes. but i have a feeling that she is not going to stick with it. i don't really care, he's not my baby and it really doesn't impact my life one way or the other. but i am so annoyed t...
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serendipity
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4
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341
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Don't want to go & need advise
(Preview)
We are only having polite conversations in my home right now. I am trying not to have any expectations and this has helped reduce my daily disappointment regarding this state of living. Because we are in this state of limbo, I do not want to go to a wedding this weekend with him. It is...
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Elizabeth M
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8
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685
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Amazing/What happens at home alone/Writing/Thinking....
(Preview)
No Title Yet!! (Sigh)
I'd like to write a book~But I'll just do this poem~About a whole lot of things~That you haven't been knowin'~Like how I feel~and what I think~If you can't change your life~I'll be gone in a blink~I've learned so much about your disease~From an Al-Anon group~On o...
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afmom03
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3
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252
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i want to go to f2f meetings but...
(Preview)
...as i read everyone elses posts ive got tears streaming down my face as i feel so devastated that i am going thru this pain in my life. and i find it extremely unfair that we all seem SOOOO caring, yet is is just one sided as our A's seem to be plain selfish.
i have my good days when i feel real...
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arty
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11
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377
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good mom, bad mom
(Preview)
I don't know when I am enabling my A son or when I'm helping as I should.
Here's where we are:
I just lost thousands because I signed a mortgage for him and his wife and they stopped paying and I sold the house for thousands less (my money)than was owed. His wife is living with her boyfriend but calling m...
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laurab
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7
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526
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Therapy
(Preview)
The topic of therapy comes up frequently - here as well as f2f meetings. Without discussing details, I've been there done that.
One reason I am not doing it now is because I don't have a therapy goal. I think it's important to have one. Unlike the program, therapy is for a very limited time - 50 minute...
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barisax
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9
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393
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Just trying to process it all
(Preview)
Had a really great day today, for no apparent reason! Enjoyed and appreciated it just the same!
The A called and left messages twice. I called him back. Someone had told him that I had been in town all week (I was there for a few hours Mon.). I have a good idea who that was.&nbs...
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Tryin2havfaith
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2
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279
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Hi, I am new!
(Preview)
Hi all, I am new here. I've been married 6 years. My husband is an alcoholic. He says "functioning alcoholic". I told him this weekend the dead line is January 31, 2007 for him to stop drinking. If he doesn't stop I am seeking divorce. I have never been to Al anon, so I don't know...
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rosemary
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10
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398
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lost in a wilderness and I can't reach out
(Preview)
I feel so terrrible today. It is as if My A son is lost in the wilderness, in a big fog and I can't reach him.
I know I am doing the right thing for me and my husband and my A son. He has plans for abandoning everything except his dog and going to Florida. He is selling his car that is...
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laurab
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4
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400
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Too lonely for a newlywed...
(Preview)
I am new to this forum. I need help. My husband who i married August 5 has turned into a monster. I have always known that he drinks a lot. And in the past 6 months I have realized that he is an angry, crazy drunk. He makes up stuff in his head and just tries to fight with me. When he is drunk he destroys our house a...
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jenfish
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5
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368
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feeling the guilt of breaking up
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
My Abf and I are breaking up. I have a new place to live and move next week. I have no option. He has been living a crazy ahcohol and drug fuelled life recently, and I am able to take no more. I know I am doing the right thing.
I feel strong that I have finally put my plans in place. Last nigh...
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annmarie
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7
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391
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Update upon return from DC
(Preview)
Well, I got back to the house, I really honestly don't have any friends here that I can call on to help me out. I went in first and had the kids wait in the car. I found out that he had stolen cash and a leather jacket from me. It could have been worse. He did leave some cash. I called my sponsor and then called the...
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carolinagirl
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6
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350
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The wonderful email I got from my loving husband today
(Preview)
Look I will never love anyone like I love you, but as you said this is it, I just can't deal with what will come form now on. So I would like to arrange a time and place to see my kids for the last time. I am taking my check and going to mexico or Canada. I do not have the ability to see you with someone else or to see s...
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carolinagirl
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8
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382
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Lost my temper with my Ason
(Preview)
I'm learning. New to Alanon. Attended 6 f2f meetings in 4 days. Then told my son that I would no longer send $, only continue to pay for school, apt, utilities. We got into it, he raved, I raved back. I know he is doing better (than before), but still not willing to work, a...
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Mom
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8
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271
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And then there is work.
(Preview)
Well, it would be great if something went well but that is not how life works. Work sucks. I got into it with a co-worker. Our relationship resembles a bad alcoholic marriage. I think at times it is down right abusive. I thought that I went thru the proper line of authority and wouldn't you know that I got b...
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nmike
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4
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268
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Survived the B-day...
(Preview)
(((((Everyone)))))
Well the birthday has come and gone... nobody died. LOL
We have daily contact since she picks up our 11 yr old from school every day. We hook up so I can take him home after work. For a few weeks it was some good and some bad meetings. Now it has gotten whe...
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rtexas
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4
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297
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Help I am blacklisted
(Preview)
Can't get into chat. Keeps disconnecting me and saying I am blacklisted. What happenened? How can that be? I don't understand what I am to do? HELP.
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lebe27
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4
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390
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got an interview tomorrow
(Preview)
a huge part of my getting away from the A is financial. I got myself into a tremendous financial mire with him cost me thousands of dollars. I will stay in the financial mire if I don't get out I am sure of it.
I have been looking for work for a long long time. I have recently...
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maresie2
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9
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367
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Another reason for minding my own business
(Preview)
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey...
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lilms
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3
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356
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Getting too strong to watch him die
(Preview)
Hi all,
As I posted recently my hubby just got back from Alaska on Wednesday. We had a great week together. I was able to see how charming he is, how attentive he is, and remembered why it is that I am so in love with him.
Tonight he called to see when I would be home so that he could have dinner waiting. I go...
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Dolphin123
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18
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494
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To Rosemary, who is new...
(Preview)
Hi Rosemary,
I tried clicking on your post to read it, but for some reason I kept getting an error page!
Anyway, welcome to MIP. I hope you find experience, strength and hope here. It's a great place to come home to!
Kathi
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lmt123
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0
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182
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caught between my husband and son (as usual)
(Preview)
Help!!!!
2 days ago my A son decided to move to Florida, new place, new friends etc. He will take his dog and some stuff and drive from NY. He has a sober friend he can stay with till he gets settled. He has been driving without a license for months.
The Problem: His car is registered to my h...
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laurab
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19
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538
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MASTIFF
(Preview)
(((((((((((MyTrina)))))))))))))),
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Trina!
Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!!
You're still such a young babe and have a lllllllllllooooooonnnnnn...
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Maria123
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10
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344
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I have some important questions ...
(Preview)
Hi - I haven't posted for a long time, but here I am again. I have these questions and I simply can't figure out the answers. I hope I can phrase them correctly to get across what I really need to say.
First of all, I know I can't live with this man forever, and I also know that he's not going to c...
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HadEnuff
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10
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581
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dealing with the broken promises
(Preview)
im trying my hardest not to angry with my A when he breaks his promises...i know that if the alcohol wasnt controlling him he would keep his word.
So how does one get over the fact that promises get broken?
At the moment i am choosing to write this than have an arguement. But i am boiling on the inside. i...
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arty
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6
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487
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Why do I feel so guilty?
(Preview)
So I went out and got the protection order today even though I have no idea where to serve him. Now I feel so guilty. Nevermind that he broke into my house and stole food out of my children's mouths. Nevermind the fact that he said he was going to file for divorce and wanted joint custod...
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carolinagirl
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6
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392
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How do you tell if they r arrogant or if it's disease?
(Preview)
Lately my A comes off as is if I'm the one who has a problem which maybe I do - I am co-dependant, after all - but so does he! He's an alcoholic!!! He goes to AA again now ( starting 2 mos.or so ago) and he knows I'm back in Al-Anon. But he acts like h...
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jaja
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1
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228
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watchiing people go down the toilet
(Preview)
Both the A and his brother have significant substance abuse issues. When the A's mother decided out of the blue to move out and go marry some guy several states away she didn't think twice about kicking the A's older brother out to live on his own.
Right now the older brother is showi...
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maresie2
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7
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305
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me and my big mouth
(Preview)
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jaja
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4
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280
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The Irony
(Preview)
When I first joined this forum, I made a post about this being more "in the trenches" than the f2f meetings I normally attend. More newcomers, more people in the thick of things, and posting a blow-by-blow like an embedded reporter.
I have been in these rooms long enough to have seen and heard much o...
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barisax
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4
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262
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ARTY!! I need your exper.
(Preview)
You said earlier on one of your posts that your attorney made it so you could be solely responsible for selling the house. What was the process for this? Our house has an offer and we have both signed the contract but I don't think he'll show for the closing and that will kill the deal! ...
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carolinagirl
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2
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247
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Good news
(Preview)
The A has already started on the trying to manipulate me for Thanksgiving stuff. He has been saying how low his brother is. Every year since I got together with the A they all spent thanksigivng with his mother. At some point I opted out of that because I felt resentment o...
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maresie2
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3
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235
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Really surrendering.....
(Preview)
(((Hi everyone))))
I have started on Step Two in my stepwork, and have realized that it is such a big deal....
"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"...
This whole year has been one giant glob of insanity, insanity from the alcoholic in my life, insanity...
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hersh
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4
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226
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No longer waiting
(Preview)
Hi All
Feeling pretty good this AM. I have been waiting for my AH to break the polite silence that we have been living with ( for 2 weeks) since he returned from his vacation. I been waiting for a kind word or acknowledgement that my feelings were hurt by his actions before he left. W...
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Elizabeth M
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4
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213
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documentary on HBO "thin"
(Preview)
Last night I watched a documentary on HBO "Thin". I thought it was pretty riveting stuff.
One of the huge issues the women confront is the lies. That is one of my huge issues with the A everything is a lie. Another is their rebelliousness and inability to follow...
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maresie2
|
1
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517
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really understanding the craving
(Preview)
As I have posted this before...I am addicted to food...especially sugar. It has made my life unmanageable and miserable.
I have even tried, by self will, to give it up. I would say to myself if I can get off the rollercoaster of binge eating, then maybe I will have more hope for my A son. The cravings a...
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Gailey
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3
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297
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|
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Accepting kindess as I change so does my world
(Preview)
Hello ((Everyone))
It's been so long since I trusted people's motives for being kind. I somehow got used to being treated special either before a bad incident or after one that I no longer trusted anyone's motives for doing something nice.
Over the last year I have worked hard giving up&nb...
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Jennifer
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1
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214
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Legalities suggestions please!!
(Preview)
I have talked before about the truck that is registered in both my husband's and my name. It is in the impound from his recent dui. I am tired of paying insurance on it and know that the payments for it will not get made. I'm not even sure if he's going to get it out of the impound. W...
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carolinagirl
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4
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451
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|
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Letting go of expectations
(Preview)
Probably one of the most profound things I have learned from this program is to let go of expectations.
This Thanksgiving I have decided to go out of town to my younger son's and dil's. I usually go to my sister's house with the rest of my family. My son and dil cannot make it this year so we decided to go...
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Gailey
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4
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244
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today on my 49th birthday my brother & mother both called me
(Preview)
First I heard from my brother. He wanted to say Happy Birthday. He doesnt sound like himself but at least he reached out to me. Said Mom and our other brother will be okay, that if they ever need cars he will buy them for them. I felt like asking when he'll pay rent/buy moms condo as she's moved out and he's st...
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Barbara
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12
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1038
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Prayer for change
(Preview)
My A sent me this prayer today. He's come so far and I'm so proud of his accomplishments. Both his sobriety and his ability to do his job in Alaska. What was supposed to be a three month stint is going to be perm. The company wants him to stay and has offered almost twice his inital pay (wooohooo!!). He was 9 m...
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Christy
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8
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373
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Al-Anon Commercial
(Preview)
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afmom03
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5
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905
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finding my purpose / my first 11 months in alanon
(Preview)
was reading a good article in the newspaper. It was written by a women that tries to encourage us. It was an article about how much lose brings us down. the article was so true. She talked about how letting go of things lifts a tremendos amount of weight from our shoulders.
I got to thinking about wher...
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purplebutterfly
|
2
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263
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|
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I'm out of town and he broke into my house!
(Preview)
Well tonight is my last night in DC and I have tried to contine the trrip and have a good time. The A went to jail on a DUI the night before I left, lost his job, etc. Nobody bailed him and he got out the next day anyway so in the middle of my trip I get a call from him saying hes going to my house and the...
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carolinagirl
|
11
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640
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I started as a little seed
(Preview)
My contribution to experience, strength, and hope.
Enjoy my friends, SenoraBob
    ...
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bob6502
|
4
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317
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Bird Seed
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
My AW left a card at the house for me a week or so ago. It was a sappy "your the greatest" kind of card. But in it she wrote:
" God provides enough seed to feed all the birds, but he doesn't throw it into the nest ... "
I am not sure what that ment to her? Or why she woul...
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rtexas
|
4
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311
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To shy to speak out
(Preview)
Being very new to the Alanon group I am finding myself very shy to speak at the meetings. I am lost for words and when I do I tremble or my voice quivers with nervousness. It's very hard to speak and especially when it comes to the steps.
I was at a meeting last night and the topic was step 5. I am of course not...
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albertarose
|
9
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368
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Welp... so tomorrow is her birthday
(Preview)
((((Everyone)))))
I have never been good at cutting to the chase with her and saying what I mean. You know, say what you mean and don't say it mean. So now that I am trying to do that... she doesn't believe me. Guess that is a tough pill to swallow.
I have been very direct, but not ug...
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rtexas
|
10
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496
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|
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Family Thanksgiving...should I take her?
(Preview)
Hey Everyone,
My wife is still not working any sort of program and simply asks me to be patient while she searches for her 'right solution'. My family has expressed an interest in seeing her at our Thanksgiving because they haven't in two years. She is getting sicker by the week,...
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jeeves
|
6
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366
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So Much For That
(Preview)
Left the A. several messages last week-one apologizing for giving him crap and the other to thank him for telling me about a certain hiking path-it was so beautiful.
Didn't hear back. Didn't expect to.
I started moving my stuff to the new place back home. He knows nothing about this m...
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Tryin2havfaith
|
1
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251
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|
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Being quiet
(Preview)
Hello ((Everyone))
I'm being quiet. Along the lines of if nothing good to say don't say anything. Last week I wrote about spending the night at my Mom's, it was nice ... would have been nicer if I had not beat myself up for telling my A he could not come along. So dumb, we're getting divorced, he never wan...
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Jennifer
|
2
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249
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Letting Go Takes Love
(Preview)
To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences. To let g...
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Phil
|
5
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501
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