The material presented
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level.
Well, the realtor is getting concerned that the buyers are paying all this money for inspections etc. and we won't be able to contact him to sign the papers. The closing attorney said I would have to file a lawsuit in order to get the right to sell the house without him. He said it would be long and costly. I don't have the money for a lawyer. I haven't heard from him. I did finally find the truck and called to see if he picked it up - he did not. He will not be able now to get it until Monday and they are tacking on $20 per day for storage. It will be around $550 to get it out on Monday. If he doesn't get it then I will call the lender and tell them to come get it. I did find out that he hid his license somewhere in the truck when he got pulled over AND the impound let him go in and get things out of the truck on Sat. Before he broke into my house. He told me he had cash in there, but I imagine he really spent it all. I'm so pissed off right now! I think that he is out looking for another girl to take care of him (maybe Damien's ex - she's a raging alcoholic too). Match made in hell... I have re-read the email several times and feel like he accuses me of doing things that he is really doing so he can make himself feel justified (seeing other people, "doing whatever he has to do", etc.) Always an excuse for everything!!! I have been dealing with a horrible pain in my neck (literal) and thought I might have meningitis. Went to the dr. yesterday and got percoset, muscle relaxers and antibiotics. I have been eating them like candy and I can still barely move my head it hurts so much. Missed 2 days of work:( which I can't afford since I don't have any money coming today like I counted on. So Sad! and I am angry angry angry.
I live with an A who collects chaos along the way so I do know some of where you are coming from. What are your alternatives? Can you rent this house out that you are wanting to sell. What can you do in the short term?
A's do behave in a ridiculous fashion. They mess everything up around them when they are acting out. At some point they stop and come back and ask for something then you have the chance to get what you need to get out.
I don't know if you have filed for divorce yet. I'm sure there is no easy way out.
I know leaving the A I am with now is one long source of continual grief for me. Every road I turn there is more grief. And he always adds more there is a coupla of accidents a year, continual financial chaos, the friends he'll give everything to, the stuff that never gets done and more.
There is an end at some point, it may not be when you want it to be.
I know there is never a good time to strategize what you need to do next. What is your plan b. what are the components to it? How can you make it work.
For me currently it is working and ignoring the A as best I can. That is not easy. He creates chaos by the minute, he is continually provocative. He can do nothing for anyone but the latest friend. It is incredibly hard not to be totally snowed by their antics.
Whatever he said in the email is part of his disease, we can all analyze it for ever about how hurtful he was and what he really meant. The issue is when they are in the throes of their disease they can't be anything but hurtful they don't know anything else but to lash out and cause chaos.
Of course at one time your A was not mired in chaos and disease, he did after all manage to acquire you and the children and some things. Right now all there is is the disease.
It seems to me that your A is fully aware of the house closing he is also aware that he needs money. I would anticipate he will show up at some point about it. They tend to show up around money issues. They don't remain gone for ever.
The issue is to have the plan b keep making the plan b, keep making the plan of when you get out from under. You are in the program you are taking care of yourself. Things will get better. I have good days and incredibly bad days I also have total clarity that I can no longer live wiht the craziness and my days in it are numbered.
It was 2003. She was not in alanon. Her alcoholic husband was still working but his drinking was getting very bad. He was an outside salesman so he worked out of the house.
Everyday after work when Megan came home he would be passed out on the couch from drinking, often in his own urine.
Megan was worried, scared, confused.
When AH said he would like to sell the house Megan jumped at the opportunity. Her AH constantly disabled her car and the hour commute to her job was impossible without the car.
So she helped him at every turn to get a buyer for the house and smooth every rough spot.
AH would say “you will not leave me when we sell” and Megan truthfully at the time said no way. Love can be blind and dumb and addictive. When the day of the move came Megan and AH were unprepared . Megan had been on a business trip every week for the previous month and AH’s promises of packing and helping did not come through.
The movers came and packed and AH got drunk. Megan bossed the movers and fretted, (maybe she will dig up her “the move” post for you).
Ah drank and yelled at the movers. He was supposed to go to the closing and sign the papers but was passed out.
So Megan called the lawyer and said she needed the necessary paperwork for the closing brought to the house as AH was ill. She spent the next 2 hours copying AH’s signature over and over and over.
When the attorney arrived with the paperwork so he could act in their behalf Megan had him wait in the family room.
Megan went to the bedroom (not where AH was passed out) and signed her and AH’s signature on the power of attorney. She playacted that AH was sick in the bathroom, and a new bigger fee was put on the bill by the attorney for the house call.
Megan did what she had to do. Today she is free and in recovery.
I wish you well on your journey of recovery Carolinagirl
__________________
Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
I was just telling some one how my shoulder hurt so bad once. Also was feeling the weight of everything on me.
It is nothing unusual for you to have a pain in the neck when you are dealing with a pain in the neck situation.
I wish I could show ya how to help your pain. I used to get those pains all the time.
Lets see if I can describe it. Ok put your head to your left side as far as you can.
take your left hand and put it right above your right ear. Ok now holding your head pull your head carefully to the right your hand holding it back. Then put your head where you started and do it again. you will see that each time your head will go down further to your shoulder.
you can do this in every direction. It really eases up your neck. Also turning your head and doing this helps.
Also those curved pillows that fit around your neck of memory foam? Those are a godsend when ya need to sleep.
Hey do whatcha need to do to sell your home. Give it to god, I bet he will show up. Please keep us posted.
