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My husband's claim is that in a 2 1/2 hour time frame, he consumed about 6 beers, last beer about 8-8:30pm. He got a call at 2:45 am to go to work. He drives tractor trailer. Is he still legally drunk?
That was Friday night into Saturday morning. Then Saturday night, when I got home from work, he was asleep. He had his t-shirt still on, reeking of cigarette smoke, he doesn't smoke, that meant he was next door, they smoke like chimmneys & drink like fish. They are all A's.
I woke him up to remove the shirt, I cannot stand the smell, it makes me sick. I quit in 1991. He was still drunk!!! This was 12:30 am. He did that grunting noise because he cant talk! He was scheduled to drive again in a few hours! I told him I was going to call his boss & tell him that he was drunk!!!! He said there was a change in plans, that he didn't have to leave so early & that he could use his personal vehicle. He left at 5:30 am, obviously still intoxicated.
I am going to discuss this tomorrow with my C.H.A.D. counselor. Part of me feels I should contact his boss & tell him my suspicions. He is getting behind the wheel of a tractor trailer!! My God!!!!! Saturday morning, that early call, he drove to Albany! We live in the finger lakes region, that is a long haul!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't want to interfere as in helping him, enabling, know what I mean. On the other hand, he is a danger on the roadways!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would NEVER call him in sick, I would, however call his boss & tell him he's drunk!!!!!!! The company may want to know they are sending a drunk out on the road.
We had a news special that showed an experiment where a newscaster became intoxiacted, then went to sleep, got up the next morning for wprk, they did a breath test & he was still over the legal limit!! The point they were making was how many people on the roadways in the morning are still legally drunk from the night before!It takes an hour for the body to metabolize a beer.
My friend told me of a situation where a coworker had been drinking the night before, stopped about midnight, showed up to work 7am, they tested him, he failed it, was sent home, they have a zero tolerance!!!!
I think my husband thinks that if he is not driving home from a bar or friends house after drinking, and he is getting sleep, that he is NOT still intoxicated.
Depending on the state one lives in, DUI varies, but in most states, it is, technically a blood alchol content (BAC) of 0.08%. What I think you're also asking though is, am I allowed to call the police if I believe he's drunk on the road? This is something I would definately talk to the councelor about, seeing as 1) s/he is a professional with the connections; 2) they have a prospective on your family dynamics that I don't. I think also the councelor can give you a full pro/con list either way.
It might be worth remembering that, god forbid your husband DOES get in an accident, he would start suffering the consequences swiftly.
Firstly, I don't ever believe him when he says hes had five, six, whatever beers. In my opinion and experience you can usually at least double that figure.
And secondly, myAbf had a serious car accident whilst dui. Yes, he must take responsibility for his actions and he subsequently lost his liscence and his job. It didn't stop him drinking though.
But, there could very easily have been innocent people injured in his accident. There wasn't but it was a very close shave. For the sake of those innocents, I would feel it my responsibility to report him drink driving should it happen again.
I know of course this is easy to say, and a lot harder to do...especially when his wage is important. I would just feel I had no option.
I suspect your husb employer is aware of your husbands drinking most turn the other cheek . You can tell his boss if u like but be prepared for one big fight either the boss if he isn't aware won't believe you and tell hubby , either way hubby will be ticked.
I think most of us have considered turning in our husb at one time or another but its' usually to no avail they never seem to find them hehe. Our detachment pamphlet suggests that We don't stop a crisis if it is in the natural course of events. hard to do I know . i believe that if a A drinks on a daily basis they are never sober . always on maintence . but thats just my opinion. Louise
First, an average person can process about 1 drink per hour (12 oz. of beer, 5 oz wine, or 1 oz hard liquior). The amount of alcohol fighting enzymes in the liver also affects this process rate, the less enzymes the longer it will take to process the alcohol.
I don't know what I would do if I were you as far as calling his boss, but I guess I probably would end up doing it, since if I were to knowingly watch my A leave intoxicated and sit behind the wheel of a trator trailer and if he would get into an accident and someone was hurt or killed I would feel partially to blame since I did nothing to prevent it.
I understand alanon tells us, as Abby said,
"Our detachment pamphlet suggests that We don't stop a crisis if it is in the natural course of events."
but for me this only holds true IF the lives of others are not being threatened or being put in jeapordy. It is not like he will be the only vehicle on the road and there is a high percentage of chance that he will hit another vehicle. It's bad enough when one car hits another, but when a semi-truck hits a car, even at a slow rate of speed the damage is unreal. So I totally understand your concerns. If I were you I would talk to my counselor and see what he/she suggests. I know you will make the right decision
I may not be the best person to respond to this quote - so take my response with a HUGE grain of salt.
My brother is an A/Drug user. He also drove trucks. He used to be able to "handle" the liquor - then he started to black out while driving, then he began to have eplileptic seizures. At first, my brother didn't get into accidents while driving. Then he began to have accidents where he crashed the truck, but didn't hurt anyone else. That's when he got fired from his job. So, knowing what I know now, if I had the opportunity to tell my brother's boss, I would have.
Know that your husband may not stop drinking and driving and would be angry with you if you called his boss. Please know that the boss might fire your husband should you tell him about this information.
IMHO - call his boss because you are worried about other people, not because you are trying to get him to stop drinking and driving. If you do this for him, you'll end up disappointed. Do this for yourself and other's well-beings.
I cant reply to all my replies. lol. So I'll just do one in general. I have thought about the consequences i.e. his boss telling him I blew him in, the boss arqueing with him, us argueing, him getting fired. None are good! I see accidents involving tractor trailers, they turned over, spilled contents all over the road, crashed into 4 wheelers (cars), ect., ect. You hardly ever hear that, maybe the driver was DUI!
I would not do it to try & force him to quit drinking, because it won't. He will continue to drink no matter what I say, do, think, feel, ect. That is a given!!! I would however feel guilty if there were an accident & I said nothing. I don't want to interfer with the natural order of things. Maybe keep quiet & just hope nothing serious happens. Then I would have to live with the consequences also.
One night, early morning, I should say, his boss called him (that wasa his old boss, he has since retires & they have a new boss) about midnight 1am, he was still drunk, off he went! I said you can't drive, you had too much to drink, he replies, I'm fine. Of course, they ALWAYS are.
I agree to with the response about doubling the amount, I have found that to be true!!! One afternoon, I was cleaning up a little in the garage, hubby was drinking beer. It was about 3-4pm. His daughter's b/f was here we were all working on the horses lean to. Hubby drank a beer, as soon as he finished it, he threw it to the side with 1 hand, grabbed another beer with the other hand!!!!!!! There was only 3 ppl there, me, hubby & Kenny! The only one drinking was hubby. There was 3 empty cans already on the floor of the garage, I picked up 12 empties, I take them back for the deposit money. The next day when I mentioned it to him, he said he had 4 beers. I said, if there were 3 empties & I picked put away 12, then 12-3=9, you had 9, he could not even remember, so I know if he says he had 4-5 it was more likely 9-10!
I don't make it a habit to count his beer bottles, my God, it would be a full time job. lol. But that stuck in my head!
I don;t want to get obsessive over this, I have other more important things to do in my life. Like my animals, my job, my friends, my meetings. It just hit me the other night when he left after appearing so intoxicated!!!!
I have my apt today with my counselor, he is a professional & a recovering A, so the perfect person to address this issue.
Thank you all for your input, it is greatly appreciated!!!!!!! I thank God I have a safe haven top come to, to talk things over, to get love & support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What a tough one. I think talking to your counsler is a great idea. You might want to talk to your sponsor as well. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
First of all I understand your concern....my AH used to say he drove better drunk than most people sober, however I was always afraid he was going to kill someone, or himself. I did report his licence plate to the authorities, and said please be on the lookout for this vehicle. I wanted him to get caught , hence creating "the" bottom which to this day he has not still hit, and he is still driving. The question that always dwelled in my mind was if he should have killed someone, I should have called etc and in saying that,,,,,,,,what is it that YOU want to do?....((horselover)))
Doing a scientific analysis of the alcohol level in his blood is a useless endeavor. If he has an accident or is stopped for any reason and the arresting officer detects any impairment or odor of alcohol, he's busted!! And God forbid he do damage or worse to someone. It is never meddling to keep a drinking person off the road and out from behind the wheel of a vehicle. That is our DUTY!!! And remember, since you are married, you are just as legally liable as he is for any wrongdoing he is involved with. Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I had to face something along these lines this summer. My inlaws drink ALOT and they just drive drunk; they always have! Well, now I have kids, and they were boozing it up for half the day and getting ready to take the kids home in their car. I had to step past the 'respect' my father in law might command and I grabbed my keys (and the kids) and drove them myself.
It is not a popular thing to do. We are all supposed to participate in the lie, and let them drive drunk.
This might be a dumb idea, but I have a tendency to want to call them on their b.s. For relatively low cost, you can purchase a home breathalyzer unit, which your hubby could "prove to himself" that he is legally capable of going out on the road. If he's serious about his job, he might use it..... Most likely, he'll muster up some lame excuse why he should not or could not use it, but sometimes it can be worth the effort.
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Were it me, I would turn him in. Depending on the state, some don't pay attention to husband/wives turning each other in due to domestic issues (sad but true). I could not bear the thought of someone killed because I didn't want to rock the boat.
At my work, indeed I did "rock the boat." We had our own driver come in for keys. I know that smell like no other. I went to my boss, who discreetly but immediately, had a drug and alcohol test performed. Yup, it was positive. This man did not get fired. He was put on six month's probation of NOT DRIVING any company vehicle and mandated alcohol counseling and has retests for a period of two years. If in that time, he's under the influence on work time, he will be fired.
In the beginning it was uncomfortable for me. I am sure he suspected it was me who turned him in, then again you never know, cause A's usually black out so much. But he's a young man, married with two children and the only thing I had hoped for was maybe this is the bottom and maybe, just maybe, I helped out his wife and children who'd rather have a sober man.
JMHO, You do what's right for you, luv ya, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
