The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We all know the terrible times, the pain and hopeless that living with a Alcoholic can cause.
So I was hoping we could share some of the good things that have come about by using Al-anon, this website and believing in our HP.
I for one am feeling hope, moments of joy and more security in my life knowing I'm not alone with this problem and there are many people living the life of serenity because of Al-anon. Bless you all!
What a wonderful idea to share positive stories, especially since the THANKSgiving holiday is upon us!
I guess a positive about my living with an A and being involved in Alanon is that I have met many dear friends who support me and understand what I'm going through. Alanon and these new friends have helped me to see how to cope better with issues other than those related to the disease of alcoholism. That's a lesson everyone could use...what a better world it would be, huh?!
Happy Thanksgiving to my "family" here in cyberspace, and many blessings to you in your recovery!
I too feel like I have met many new friends and am not alone. I have hope for me to be able to have some happiness in my life despite my A son. I know that without this program I would have never learned the tool of detachment. That has got to be one of the best things that has happened for me. I do feel hope for my son. I am not sure it is hope but in the back of my mind I keep hearing a voice or have this feeling that he is going to be ok. I guess that is hope and maybe my HP is whispering to me. I don't know where I would be without this program. I am so very grateful!
Through al-anon I have found out--I don't have to solve all of the problems and just b/c I don't doesn't mean I am not a good person. I've learned that I am worth the effort to take care of me and my opinions and feelings are important. I am learning to be thankful for little things and see the baby steps for progress w/o looking at the distance to where I want things to be.
Thanks everyone for sharing, caring, and encouragement!!
While I literally know hundreds of alcoholics (being a member of AA, hard not to!), the primary alcoholics in my life have been my father and my daughter.
My father died of the disease when I was a teenager. I had no program then. Although he was long gone and not a primary reason for coming to Alanon when I did, I have sort of reclaimed my love for my father after all these years. I never hated him - but others in my family did, and always put him down, and I always felt guilty, or at the very least, stupid to love him and miss him still. I didn't really work my Alanon program with this in mind, but I began to see him with different eyes, and my OWN eyes, not someone else's. Three things always came to mind when I thought of my father: the broken promises, he abandonded me (by dying), and how I always felt like I had to defend him whenever his name came up in family discussions. I feel like I have now put him in a different place - by letting go of the resentments, I've let go of the need to defend him and in the process, I've even been able to talk about him with my mom.
My daughter (and granddaughter) have been the light of my life in recent years. In my Alanon program, I have learned that enabling a sober alcoholic is not necessarily any better than enabling an active one. My financial enabling, even though she was sober, kept her in a bad relationship with a non-sober A for longer than either of us would have liked... he caused the crisis, I bailed both of them out. For various reasons, I'm no longer able to do the emergency bail-out with her anymore - I can't just hand over $$ because her car payment is due, especially when MY car payment is due! The first time I said no, I cringed... I thought she wouldn't love me anymore, that she would be out of my life forever. Guess what, she did like I do... she figured something out. Without my money, or even my advice. She doesn't ask very often anymore, usually doesn't need to. But today she called and asked... she was a bit overzealous buying clothes for her new job... and she's overdrawn a couple hundred bucks. I just started laughing because right now *I* am overdrawn a couple hundred bucks! We both had a laugh about it and talked about how things like that used to be such a major crisis. She said she didn't even have any trouble sleeping last night. Come to think of it, neither did I! And right before I went to bed, I checked my bank balance on line and saw the lovely number of minus 197.89.
In the AA Promises, it says "Fear of financial insecurity will leave us". It doesn't say financial insecurity will leave us... it just says the FEAR will leave. Since the fear is the worst thing about it, I'll take that promise as written.
This board and Alanon has saved me from countless periods of total despair. Most times I no longer wish I was dead. This program has given me hope that life can be better. This program has allowed me to acknolwdge my pain insted of ignoring it. Today I am grateful ( which is nothing short of a miracle since last night my AH was out until 4:15 am after having surgery on his face and no phone call home). I am trying to learn not to take it personal and to have no expectations. For brief periods of time I am totally devastated but I have this program and it is my lifeline. Hugs to all
How nice to have a positive spin this Friday!! Thanks for the idea.
Though it has been a slow process, I feel most of the time grateful for my life and my situation. Going through this year of my "bottom" and finding Alanon has been a journey.
It is feeling better to do things for me and I am beginning to like spending time with myself. I was terrified before to do anything away from my AH.
It is a life-changing experience, and I am grateful that I found this board, and the wonderful words of wisdom that have pulled me through the mud and pain so many times.
What a fabulous idea. I always love it when we do this kind of stuff in my group. Thank you for it.
This program is teaching me to be the real me - not the person I created to survive the affects of this disease. It is teaching me to feel - but also that feelings aren't facts. It has shown me that living a life of my own is not a bad thing. I can say no when I dont want to or dont feel comfortable doing something - oppositely to say yes when I want to do something. It has given me hope in the darkest of times, the right words to say when others are the same or even just a shoulder to lean on. I have learned that I do not have to isolate or keep the secrets of this disease to myself any longer. I can share them with someone I trust and respect. I dont have to tell everyone about my problems - but I must tell someone or I will stay sick. I am learning who is and who is not trustworthy. The greatest gift of this program is that I am not alone - I have HP w/ me each and every day - and rooms full of friends whom I have or yet to meet that keep me honest with myself and on track to live a better life for myself.
Karen
__________________
Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
I am early in Alanon, so I still have a lot of things to learn and enjoy. It is making my life seem simplier, in easier "thinking" terms anyway. And I LOVE the promises..
My husband and I go together - it gives us a new language to talk about our A daughter. It's been good for our marriage/communication.
My daughter is in early recovery. She led her 1st AA meeting last night - on forgiveness. She is really proud today. We talk often about the steps, etc.
So, being in Alanon and AA is really helping us as individuals, and as a family.
i used to jump into the whirlwind and get dusty and dirty and banged around. Then I found I could sit in the middle safe yet hurt by flying objects. I found ways of positioning myself even better and learned to duck occassionally. Slow process, now I watch the whirlwind and sometimes see a beautiful thing it in and smile.
Alanon and these new friends have helped me to see how to cope better with issues other than those related to the disease of alcoholism. That's a lesson everyone could use...what a better world it would be, huh?! 
