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Post Info TOPIC: I've come a long way


Member

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Posts: 5
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I've come a long way


I've packed up my kids and we now live in town, many miles from Angie and her drinking.  I made big steps but still find her causing much problems in our home!  Seems that her and her boyfriend have been fighting and she dosent have a place to stay.  How can I refuse the mother of my children?  Big mistake... here comes the hurt again.  I just want to go away!

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2677
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((((Keoki))))


In Alanon they tell us not to be a doormat. It is ok to say no. There is always a solution to a problem. We don't have to solve them for the A's.


In support,


Nancy


 



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~*Service Worker*~

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How can I refuse the mother of my children?

'I wish I could help you but I'm sorry, I just can't'"

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Senior Member

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Posts: 323
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(((Keoki)))

You have made some big steps...you are taking control of your life. Yes, she is the mother of your children, but she is also and adult. You don't have to solve her problems. She is capable of doing that. It is her responsibility. Someone in alanon told me that when we try to rescue the A's we take away from them their chance to solve their problems. It's part of detachment. And it's not easy. I struggle with detachment myself. Prayers for you and your children. Stay stronge. Know you aren't alone.

your friend in recovery,
rosie

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1702
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 I'll tell you what I've told a couple of other spouses in throwing out their partners, honey. I've listened to 100s of 1000s of AA leads. Never in one  of them did I ever  hear: "And when s/he took me back in, I realized what I'd been treatin' them like, how big an a**hole I'd been, et cet..." Never.


Now what I have heard, over and over and over and over: "When my bags were packed, and I was thrown outta the house, I realized that if I didn't get serious about getting sober, I was in deep trouble."


 Honey, if she don't get in deep trouble, she may never get better. Period. You are not calling a lawyer, yet. You are not filing for divorce, yet. You are simply enforcing a boundry.  ((HUGS)))



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