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Promises of Alcohol Are Written in Water...
(Preview)
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afmom03
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3
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454
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1 Good day does not = good future
(Preview)
Sunday was a good day and my sick thinking started to doubt my plans for leaving. ONE GOOD DAY – what’s the matter with me. I doubt my decisions until I am almost incapable of making one? Saturday he was just nasty all morning. In the afternoon I had to go shopping for a birthday...
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Gramma Pat
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5
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487
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When life kicks you in the gut...
(Preview)
You get knocked down but don't have to stay down.
I've gone through my lumps with my A the last few days. Its amazing the more my eyes are being opened to reality the more I see how dysfunctional and sick he is. This disease really destroys people. Some of this that I'm seeing...
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twinmom2
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6
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421
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Keep reminding myself/ venting
(Preview)
I think about how I wanted my A's mom to stop enabling him so he had a place to stay.
Now she has no home to give him.
So he is out there, somewhere. I was thinking how he said he had to get himself together. Had things he had to do. Well I guess what better than to be out there with nothing, having to scrape an...
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debilyn
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5
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348
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contemplation
(Preview)
Hi all,
I'm new here... I've been going to alanon meetings for 4 months. working the program best I can.
I'm contemplating though... thinking about my husband's recovery, and moy own. He's about 2 months sober, fresh out of round 2 of rehab. the first round was volunta...
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pearlygirrl
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4
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279
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asking them not to use
(Preview)
I work at night, a long hard physical job (which I am not used to) and sleep during the day. The A is self employed so sometimes he is at home when I wake up. Lately in the last few weeks I have been waking up to a strange smell in the house. I think personally it is the bitter s...
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maresie2
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6
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306
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Christy's tool box
(Preview)
I just love your tool box. I think I need a trip to the hardware store you shop at.
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Gailey
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1
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456
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Thanks all of you...
(Preview)
for your kind and loving responses to my two posts. I feel so very loved and appreciated here, and that's worth a fortune!!
Day three, and I believe he is still drunk. I had to leave the house at 6:30 a.m. today, as I was summoned for jury duty, and I live quite a way from the County Courthouse. Didn't ge...
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Diva
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13
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510
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The List
(Preview)
I am starting a list in my head. I will transfer it to paper soon. A list of things I want to do....some on a regular basis. Ya know, like go to the movies, out to dinner, drives to the ocean, things I use to do with my A. Things we use to enjoy together. However now my list doe...
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marmare
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7
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372
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It's Working!
(Preview)
OK, for those of you who don't know me, my story is probably pretty much the same as yours, or we wouldn't both be here, right?
I, too, needed the St. Anthony Prayer Kari spoke of, "St. Antohony, St. Anthony, please come round, there's something lost that must be found." Me. I was missing...
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Becky1
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7
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263
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Hard Time
(Preview)
Thanks everyone for your wonderful posts they do help a lot. I am having trouble understanding why we put up with an A's abuse and problems and over again. Is there something in our personalities that love and crave this abuse? What sane person would continue to let this hap...
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LadyLibra
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6
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382
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being a victim
(Preview)
I've been going through a really hard hard time with the A. He is out there on drugs a lot. He is also out there in his thinking and his grandiose plans. I have been trying to focus on me and my issues and what I need to do.
And I do pretty good at it somedays. I found a job, not a grea...
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maresie2
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3
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332
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Recovery or Drama Recovery or Death
(Preview)
Hi (((((((everyone)))))))))
As you all have noticed I haven't been on here or in chatt for awhile... A week ago I was feeling overwhelmed with reading all the drama on the other message board, chatting and I began finding myself getting involed,angry,taking on others feelings,and etc.... I al...
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bubbles1990
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5
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574
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I need ESH and advice on financial + matters
(Preview)
Hello (((Everyone)))
I need some ESH, advice or opinions here ... I know that is asking alot LOL.
My house has not had any offers, without my A's income for the last 4 months I have not made the last 3 mortgage payments. Without some program from the mortgage company that I can afford while maintaini...
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Jennifer
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9
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505
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It's about time...
(Preview)
...I stopped "lurking", and ventured to contribute something. I'm one of those men who has an automatic "stop valve" in his chest/throat... when I think I'm about to let the emotions out--it clamps down, and I retain my composure (and my isolation... and my stress... and my illusion of control...)
...
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FormalWare
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4
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317
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Funny bug story.
(Preview)
Hi all,
I had a drama filled weekend. I don't have time to post on that right now, but I had something I wanted to share.
I was thinking of Isabella the whole time this was happening.
Last night my hubby and I were talking while we were getting ready for bed. I was in the middle of a sentence when I looke...
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Dolphin123
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1
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444
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the family should be helping..right?
(Preview)
I don't know really know the rules of alanon and asking for advice but I would really like some honest opinions for this problem. My A and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and I love his family. I am part of the family and I get along with his mother better than my own. I have gone on vac...
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daisygrl4
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9
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464
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Nothing Changes
(Preview)
A came back to the house we were suppose to be talking but I was so emotional out of it because of a death in the family I was not up to talking to him about "our" situation. Of course we end up having sex which never solves anything and today it seems to be back to the same old stuff, him drinking and sayi...
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LadyLibra
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3
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295
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New here & need help with books.
(Preview)
Hi, I am new here. Very happy to have found these boards. I am going to my first book meeting this week and have no idea which book they use. What can I expect? Can anyone help me out? Thanks so much.
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SnowWhite
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5
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463
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I KNOW I Need Al-Anon When...
(Preview)
Okay friends, thought I'd try a list too:
1. I might need Al-Anon, if I begin to believe the A's again, thinking they are really "normal" human being & we are building trust. (this means I'm just deluding myself & forgetting what Master Manipulators & liars they are!).
2. I might need...
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kitty
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6
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380
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Looking for someone to help...
(Preview)
Okay, I guess I'm looking for a sponsor, but I'm not 100% on that. I would like someone that I can share my story with, and learn from theirs. I would like someone who I can chat with and talk about the new things that have come up, problems and such, and how they relate to al-anon. I would like someone to go th...
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Madison81
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5
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387
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My last post looked like...LOL
(Preview)
I was the one who had a drinking problem, the way it turned up on the messages board!! I do promise ya'll tho...I was not under the influence of ANYTHING!! I wonder why it came out like that? <LOL> Hope you were able to follow it and write it down!! <LOL> I need to learn how to do these dang compu...
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afmom03
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1
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253
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Obviously I'm back from Alaska :)
(Preview)
I had a request to post about my trip to Alaska so here it is.
Getting there and back is a pain in the butt, takes 12 hours from doorstep to doorstep.
I was exhausted. Adjusting to the 3 hour time difference was a bit rough too.
That's the only bad parts.
My hubby was a wonderful tour guide and ha...
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Christy
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12
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1827
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is this enabling?
(Preview)
alcoholic is my kids' dad.
he skipped his weekend visitation twice because he was too drunk . i was always so worried he'd be hungover when he picked up the kids. i cancelled his weekend visits.
i made it short so that i didn't add my own opinion in. -- Edited by shamama at 1...
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shamama
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4
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285
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Infidelity advice... please
(Preview)
Help guys, need some more advice:
Well AH did admit he has been seeing someone. I confronted him about it and he said, that when I left in April (we were separated for two months) he was so lonely and afraid that he went out and happened to meet someone. He said that our relationsh...
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hersh
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5
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430
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silence is killing my marriage
(Preview)
Hi All
Need to vent...husband use to be caring and loving ..I think..past is starting to get blurry
Now that I am in alanon I don't want to rage and then make up...our usual pattern..so now there is silence...no attempt on his part to say he is sorry for coming in at 5:30am..just a casual question as t...
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Elizabeth M
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10
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401
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what was i thinking?
(Preview)
i know better. went to a water park yesterday for my daughter's birthday. ex ah came along to help. we drove seperatly to accomidate all the kids. i was grateful he could be sober and help. but 2 hours in a car with all that time to think was not good for me. but the day went well, everyone had fun. 2 hours to dr...
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serendipity
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4
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503
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silence is killing my daughter
(Preview)
It isn't all about me after all...last night my teenage daughter started yelling at me for "reading all the time"
She still believes that if I yell at him her father will stop drinking...if I call him he will come home etc
I finally told her to say what she needed to say to her father. I sat and li...
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Elizabeth M
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2
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298
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Laughing at Us
(Preview)
Okay--Isabella started us off laughing at our situations (at the expense of the addicts in our lives). I think that it may be equally as...well, as funny to laugh at ourselves. So here is a list. This is me. Please feel free to chuckle, laugh out loud, or cry. All of the...
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curious
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3
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323
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feelings boiling over...
(Preview)
hey guys
right here is the situation.. i went to see my "A" last week for a "chat"
our scenerio went as follows:
A : so whats happening with us?
ME : what do u mean.. US.. there is NO US
A : Right.no need to take my head off... i want to to know that i still love you and ur the one &nb...
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Rebecca
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4
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212
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Nice Day!
(Preview)
((((((((((Family)))))))))),
Today is hubby's 47th birthday! It was a nice day. Pipers Kitty brought her Dad a big fat mole for breakfast! (Guess who cleaned up that one!
He did the laundry this morning. Hey, I offered, honest I did. I did...
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Karilynn
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6
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287
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Me again
(Preview)
Hi, me again,
I rereading my last post. I realize it is all about my husband and his Mother.
I know I can't change it. years ago, I would have been thrilled that he was not in a bar, or that he was drinking less.
He does not expect me to wait dinner. He tells me to cook for 6PM, that he will be home wh...
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Jeannie
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6
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270
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So tired of it all being my fault...
(Preview)
My AH has many more issues than alcohol - at least that's what I believe. I actually believe the alcohol is secondary. I'm guessing (not sure, mind you) that he is somewhat depressed and very ADD and started self-medicating with alcohol - it then got out of control.
My anger right now st...
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mimi
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2
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286
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Nashua NH AA conference w/AlAnon
(Preview)
anyone planning on attending? Its in Nov
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Barbara
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2
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338
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Could really use some affirmations
(Preview)
Yesterday was a big day. I got the keys to my apt. Yea! But the operative word was *small*. Very small. And my first thought was "OMG, My mom is going to rip me to ribbons."
So of course the dirvishes are whirling. I'm bracing myself for when my parents see it--my mom is giving me her futon an...
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Tiger2006
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10
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540
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The other woman?
(Preview)
Hi,
I hate when I get this unsettled feeling in my chest and belly. This feeling that I am doing something wrong.
My emotions have been getting the best of me. I keep feeling that I should be doing something else, that I deserve more.
I always told myself that I would never put up with infidelity fro...
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Jeannie
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4
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419
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Well, goodness gracious..
(Preview)
He is drunk. Went out this afternoon to put gasoline in his car, and drove home drunk. On about a half bottle of sherry. YUCK!! He went to bed and collapsed. I am determined to hang on to my sanity. But I DID set a boundary several months ago; he drinks, he goes. It is my house and my money. I am sorry that he wil...
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Diva
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11
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485
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Taking Care of You
(Preview)
Hey MIP family,
Several of the ladies I have been working with lately have really been struggling with the area of "Taking Care of You" and I must admit so do I.
What is it about our thinking as parents, workers, the responsible ones in a relationship, Adult Children of Alcoholics, spouse of Alcolo...
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Rita G
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4
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362
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YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
You remember the movie with Tom Cruise where he is a young military lawyer? Well ... my AW and I had a bit of an argument last night. I did raise my voice a little and I was checking myself today to see if that was really warranted or not. I could have gotten my...
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rtexas
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5
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392
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Finally Made it to the Library!
(Preview)
Hey Roomies!
I finally made it to the library! Hey Mspeewee, DE, Rose, Dana, Ria, Josey, Cjo, Kis , Senorabob, Nigel, Belle, Garom, Sparkly lovette, Mac daddy, Buzzers, and everybody !!!!
I miss ya'll so much! I feel as if I've been put in solitary confinement! My puter's been on the blink an...
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Texasjoni21
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4
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278
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Was I right or not?
(Preview)
Hi everyone!
....and I was being so good at detaching and avoiding confrontation.
She was supposed to be going to an AA meeting tonight and I had arranged my evening accordingly. At 5pm she comes to me and tells me she has been invited to a combined AA/Al-Anon meeting...about 2 hours away... and wa...
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Mike5056
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4
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408
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Trust .....
(Preview)
Hello ((Everyone))
OK today I was reading some posts, here and other boards. i happened across one that mentioned the person not trusting anyone in their group. It started me thinking .... there was a time I would censor my words and thoughts here somewhat.
My last post was ha...
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Jennifer
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2
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263
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No Alcohol in the house rule
(Preview)
I'm hoping you all can answer this for me. Will it help if I tell my A that alcohol is not allowed in the house. I am thinking he will not want to be in a house where alcohol is not allowed. I mentioned this once and he said "I'm an adult and if I want to drink I will drink, you have no right to t...
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LadyLibra
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7
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788
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Trying to Keep my Sanity
(Preview)
Hello Friends,
I have had a couple of rough days and need to vent a little....first of all my car broke down, oh shat, and it's a mojor problem...money....I have a final interview for one he jobs I applied for and who knows...so, I need my car.......I am praying the shift is a good one.....a job I appl...
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Andrea12
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5
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354
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Another Silent Treatment Issue
(Preview)
Hi All,
I have been getting the silent treatment for about a week from a male friend, an alcoholic by the way.
After a small spat, I gave an apology and he is giving me the silent treatment....makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I keep trying to talk to him every few days and nothing works! I am t...
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beachbaby
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5
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441
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im so tried of my a/addicts abuse..plus im such a chicken
(Preview)
well he came home from work alittle early today..he was in a so-so mood..my granddaughter just woke up from her nap and she was cranky,so my daughter was holding her and walking around the house trying to calm her down,he kep saying take her in the bedroom,so i dont have to hear here cry,i walked in...
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bev
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5
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395
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Forbes.com Article
(Preview)
Hi all,
Just thought some of you might be interested in the article. It pertains to a study to find the drunkest cities in the US. I find it interesting that they found them to be mostly located in the northeast or mid atlantic states (colder climate states) and that they appear to be citi...
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lebe27
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3
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283
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Not My Husband
(Preview)
A is not my husband. We have lived together for 5 years, we don't have children together, and I don't feel the same responsibility that everyone here seems to have in coping with their A. I care about A but I don't want to have to use coping skills to deal with his drinking and abuse. Ye...
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LadyLibra
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2
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314
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Feelings of Being Alone
(Preview)
My A has been out of the house for 6 days now and although I am keeping busy.. I have feelings of being alone....is it unusual to feel this way...although I feel better by not having to deal with his insulting drunk behavior
He seems to be doing fine away from the house and for the most part I am to...
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LadyLibra
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4
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266
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How Do You Be A Supportive Significant Other?
(Preview)
For over a year my girlfriend has been sober
She told me last week, and did a month ago, that when she goes to college [she's only 18] she's not so sure she wants to be sober any more.
Her roomate is in AA also, and sober now.
I'm worried as hell. Can someone in AA drink casually? Get drunk once in awhile...
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MarvlMan
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4
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431
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Why now?..I too am about to Chicken Out
(Preview)
Mid July I asked my H if he loved me enough to let me go. I felt so tired and worn out from constantly taking care of him and picking up the messes he makes outta life. He said yes and we began the plan for him to get his own place. Ever since, things have for the most part been going great for...
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tishrijo
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4
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384
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More than just alcohol....
(Preview)
Hi. I'm somewhat new here and had a question. I have a family member who is an A, and that is the main reason I am involved with Al-anon. However, there are also many other drugs he is addicted to. Can I use al-anon for that as well? Or is is strictly for alcoholism?
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Madison81
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2
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271
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It's Time For Me To Let Go
(Preview)
Before joining this board I use to post all the time on a co-dependent board. They had an online journal that I use to post on frequently. I decided to go back and read thru my journal to see if I had made any progress. What I found is that I am still in the same situation that I was i...
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JulieLynn
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3
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348
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getting worse
(Preview)
Since I have been attending meetings and also stopped calling him home from the bar, my husband's drinking has gotten worse. He doesn't seem to care about me or his family at all anymore. Not much dialogue between us. What is there to say when he goes out every other night to his frie...
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Elizabeth M
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6
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398
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OK...JUST NEED TO CALM DOWN
(Preview)
I just got off the phone with A son. His daughters are at my house. Hubby is also there. He has furniture in my guest house that I have been trying to get him to move out and clean the place up for I don't know how long. The kids came yesterday. He's been home since Wednesday night. He told me several different...
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Gailey
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6
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516
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FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE
(Preview)
Hi everone,
dont know if you remember me,if you dont a short version,h has been in homeless hostel since april,as i bodily threw him out clothes and all.
this was a great move should have done it 3yrs ago,they have been a god send,they have helped him sort himself out,we meet up every sat beca...
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ollie
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2
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345
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Bullying in the workplace contd
(Preview)
Well, emailed terms and conditions for the future, was not long before he tried to have it his way again and forget negotiated agreement. Calmly reminded him of negotiaged agreement, stating why I could not fulfil new terms and told him I would continue until he found a replacement for me. I will reite...
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maire rua
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2
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280
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How do you deal with the silent treatment?
(Preview)
The silent treatment is a pet peeve of mine. My father was a pro growing up. My family was dsyfunctional though there were no drugs or alcohol involved. My father could go for days maybe weeks at a time when I was a teen with the silent treatment. I could not stand it then nor can I stand it now....
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hmrnrnmm
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3
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407
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I do not care & it is not my business
(Preview)
My A had an appt today at 8:15am. I set my clock and got up. I asked if she had set a clock she said the dogs would wake her up.
So she got up & feed most all the dogs indoors. Gave meds, flushed vinnys wounds took him to pee, gave him water & fed him. Then doctored the two other dogs before she got dress...
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hmrnrnmm
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2
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432
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re; bullying behaviour
(Preview)
Hi All,
Still having problems with my short term job. One member of staff has tried to make my life hell this summer, I have been under constant surveillance. Unfortunately though this job finishes next week I will still need to have contact and as his behaviour is getting worse in relation to...
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maire rua
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4
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320
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