The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just got off the phone with A son. His daughters are at my house. Hubby is also there. He has furniture in my guest house that I have been trying to get him to move out and clean the place up for I don't know how long. The kids came yesterday. He's been home since Wednesday night. He told me several different times that he was moving the furniture out. I would come home...he would be gone...furniture still there.
Guess what???? Today is actually the day he is going to move it...while his girls are there. In my mind I am thinking that he has been home too long. Needs to get out awhile. I am just so aggravated right now. If he drinks and doesn't come back today the s--- is going to hit the fan. He has so much anxiety when he has to be in charge of the children or be at home for too long. You know...it really is time for him to go. I would rather have the girls up and let him stop in one day and see them instead of depending on him staying the whole visit. We will see what happens later on today if he is gone too long or doesn't come back.
HP, please give me the courage to do what I need to do!!!
How about having the furniture hauled out of the guest house and placed on the curb if he does not show up? I believe you have been more than patient, and that may let him know you're serious!! I know what I suggest is easier said than done. I have sons of my own. I cannot imagine anything I would not do for them. But I have not had to face a son of mine being addicted. Dear one, take care of yourself. If he doesn't show up, you know what to do. I am sorry you have to face this, and I send a big hug
(((((((((((((((((((Gail))))))))))))))))))
With caring and concern, Diva
__________________
"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
He actually is moving it today. Today...because he needs an excuse to go out. Maybe I am projecting...maybe he will come right back. It is not what he is use to doing though.
I agree with Diva - breathe - Just breathe - repeat - I'll be ok - I'll be ok - My HP will help me to be OK.
After you are calm, then consider your plan B - that is what helps me is to remember I am no longer backed in a corner - I can always have options, choices - I don't have to let anyone take that power away from me - I can choose to do what is best for me -
Remember it's ok to do what is right to care of You - we don't have to spend our lives worried about what other people think - we have the ability to take care of ourselves and your HP will give you that couarge that you need to take care of you and those girls.
Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers,
Rita
__________________
No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Try to remember he is not intentionally doing this TO you, though it may feel like it. It is the illness.
Thanks Luna...this is helping me with my obsessing right now.
When you are so angry at your A about something you just want to lash out. After reading a reply that Lunamoth gave to another post...it hit me. He cannot help it!!! So, instead of lashing out...if A son does what I think he is going to do...I will wait until I am not angry anymore..remember he cannot help being like this while he is in his disease and think about setting a new boundary with him.
YES!!!!!!Now I feel so much better. I don't have to let this ruin my weekend.
I so hope that your son will get back and do what he is supposed to do today. You know that I know exactly how you are feeling. Try hard to stay calm and talk to yourself about taking care of you. Weekends are tough for me, never knowing what will happen, but we cannot change the passing of time and weekends. Take care, Gailey. thinking of you and holding onto good thoughts that all will be well tonight.
Bless you. I hope you feel much better. The panic this disease sometimes sets off in us is unreal! The fear of what will happen, because in the past it did happen... on and on and it could drive you really NUTSO!
But you read back and posted what Lunamoth said, that it is NOT personal. Gosh I have to repeat that to myself constantly. It is really not personal, though it really feels that way. That is where the compassion for the alcoholic comes in, after the anger subsides a bit, that is. This is really challenging stuff isn't it?
Well I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and I pray for everything to run smoothly for you....
