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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I KNOW I Need Al-Anon When...
Post Info TOPIC: I KNOW I Need Al-Anon When...
kitty


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I KNOW I Need Al-Anon When...
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Okay friends, thought I'd try a list too:


1. I might need Al-Anon, if I begin to believe the A's again, thinking they are really "normal" human being & we are building trust. (this means I'm just deluding myself & forgetting what Master Manipulators & liars they are!).


2. I might need Al-Anon when I loan money out to a friend & they never pay me back & I know what the money was used for (even though I took "collateral" for it) & it is now a month later. 


3. I might need Al-Anon period if I forget for one second they are only interested in saying wtvr they think you want to hear, when their little minds are obsessing about getting lit up & it's a compulsion with them & they can't help it.


4. I know I need Al-Anon when I start feeling guilty & not just happily ignoring what the A's are doing & just loving & focusing on myself, being free of their "problem of the moment."


5. I know I need Al-Anon when I delude myself & think what I feel or say matters one iota or that they even have the capacity to hear me or care.


6. I know I need Al-Anon when I let my own boundaries slip & get taken advantage of.


7. I know I need Al-Anon (desperately) when I start to compulsively play "what if's" (mental masturbation) projecting into the future & making myself sick with anxiety.


8. I know I need Al-Anon when I actually think I can help another person by spouting off acronyms when I wouldn't be here, if I didn't have them posted up all over my condo, virtually in every room for me to constantly focus on & still don't seem to get through to my deepest brain.


9. I know I am ACOA when I get depressed & frustrated with life, loathing myself & trying to take responsibility for the world's problems, assuming it is all my fault & beating myself up over it or isolating or that even my death would make anything better.


10. I know I'm sick & need Al-Anon when (b/c I'm a Reiki Master & healer & Empath) succumb to cutting myself ~ carve the Reiki Master's symbol into my own forearm, my suicidal ideations, which have come back w/ avengence this whole year are GONE & a part of me feels sad I have no excuse or desire to have suicidal thoughts anymore (geez Louise!) like a baby losing it's fav toy. (more mental masturbation) Truth is I'm thanking GOD each day, the thoughts are gone & I have something beautiful to look at ~ wtvr helps, helps... right?!!


11. (Thank you Karilynn aka "Bunny" ~ forgot the Anthony prayer) I know I need Al-Anon when I have to say that prayer every 30 minutes for my peace of mind, sanity, to relax, or for my hope to come back... 'St. Ant, St. Ant. pls come around, something's lost that must be found,' my love of life.


12. I know I need Al-Anon when I surrender to God, only to compusively take back what I just let go of 5 minutes ago & have to continue to re-surrender, until it is sincere & I actually feel it leave me.


13. I know I need Al-Anon (after 23 yrs) when I have to come to the Board (or chat rm) every day to ground myself to feel a sense of balance & to focus on ME.


14. I know I need Al-Anon when I think my problems are so important & big that I ought to get all the attention from anyone (even for a few minutes) & assume that I'm having the hardest day or largest problem of anyone (when all I have to do is put on the news & I can start crying in 30 seconds).


15. I know I am ACOA & need Al-Anon when I forget to be grateful for how many Blessings & gifts that I have, that I overlook & continue to beat myself up for no apparent reason, thinking I'm worthless, disposable or I don't matter.


16. I know I'm in Al-Anon when I go to my parents house & say acronyms for answers to my mom, like "BTDT" & "I didn't notice, I'm MYOB" & have to explain what that means to her so she even understands me!


17. I know I'm ACOA & need Al-Anon when I get depressed that my mother doesn't just love me for who I am & allow her tone or what she says period, bring me down, instead of remembering she is as messed up, hurt, confused & is ACOA too.  I cannot expect her to "just turn back into" an affectionate, open trusting & loving person w/ me after everything she has been through.


18. I know I need Al-Anon & am ACOA, when I can write that I "expect" anything from another person (to make me whole) b/c "Expectations are premediated resentments (or disappointments).


19. I know I need Al-Anon when I say "I'm fine" when I know it really means I am  F@#%ed Up Insecure  Neurotic & Emotional. 


20. I know I appreciate Al-Anon when I come to the Board & feel like I am grounded & "okay/safe" b/c I am understood, accepted & loved here, whether I am positive or negative; venting or relating.


 


Wow, I feel SO much better for getting that off of my chest!


Love, -Kitty of Light 



-- Edited by kitty at 14:03, 2006-08-27

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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
isabela40


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Thanks kitty for sharing this.


I think we all learn from each other.


I was really touched by your share...when I had to force myself to make a list about me it was REALLY hard, LOL, it like nearly physically hurt, I am disappointed in how little I can take what I freely dish out to the alcoholic.  I guess I feel like he has it coming...  Well, anyway, I really admire how brutally honest people here are about their faults.


I was raised that you should try to keep a lid on your faults and hope no one notices them until you can get them under control...you certainly should not TALK about them...OUCH!


I admire people who can be so brutally honest about their faults and what they need to work on.


Alanon has  really helped me a lot too...I used to think I was like Mary Poppins when it came to handling my alcoholic...you know "practically perfect in every way" LOL.  It sure was a rude awakening how far that was from the truth and I am glad I knew were to come to learn the RIGHT way to deal with an alcoholic.


Thanks for sharing your E, S, & H.


Love,


Isabela


 


 



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kitty


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Awww... shucks, Isabela, your response made me cry, what can I say, you were (obviously) the one who inspired me to write it in the first place!


Love, -KoL



-- Edited by kitty at 12:14, 2006-08-27

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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
nmike


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Thanks Kitty for your list of "I know I need Alanon when". Reminds of David Letterman's list which reminds me to lighten and laugh. I think I will make my own list for my inventory and look at where I was and where I am now.


Honestly, what you said about the carving scares me a little with concern for your well being. I am not sure about what you meant by whatever helps, right? I had a Reiki session this year and it opened up a whole new way of looking at my body and my emotions. As a Reiki master you must be helping alot of people with breakthroughs.


Thanks for sharing.


In support,


Nancy



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maresie2


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I got to number five and it hit me in the gut. This is a powerful list. I keep getting stuck on the A should care about how I feel. He doesn't he never did. He wanted to seduce me to use me that's it. I do know that when he isn't using he can be kind and caring but when he is in active using he is just as he is right now totally psychopathic and he doesn't care about anything but his next fix.


 


I don't need to be in denial about it anymore.


Maresie.



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maresie
curious


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wow--Powerful, gut wrenching.  Not really very funny.  Thank you for taking the time to share.  Tough stuff.  I see myself in this list.


--Ramona



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rtexas


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(((((Kitty)))))


You are always such and inspiration.  I had a truly rotten weekend and this really put things back in perspective for me.  I was very moved.


Keep working it, you are truly an angle here.


Take care of you!



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