Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

horselover58 · horselover58

I have a situation and would like any ideas. My husband's claim is that in a 2 1/2 hour time frame, he consumed about 6 beers, last beer about 8-8:30pm. He got a call at 2:45 am to go to work. He drives tractor trailer. Is he still legally drunk? That was Friday night into Saturday morning. Then Saturda...

HereIam · HereIam

Seriously. About a year ago sister and I put together a lot of pieces and well! what a whole we found. Dear old Mom, the martyr, was quite the drinking girl. As is so often the case, the hard part is separating her outrageous (drunken) behavior from her awful betrayals as a sober person. Which ca...

ditto · ditto

This really is not about any alanon topic that I can discover. However, I don't know who else to ask, so please forgive me for straying from the subject. My car needed an alignment. So I went to a tire store. There were 2 female customers there ahead of me. Ther...

QOD · QOD

HI to everyone. I haven't been here in a LONG TIME! And that is good I think. Well to me it was. That meant things were going ok w/my A husband. He has been clean and sober for 6 months and one week to the day as of last Thursday, 11/16/06. Here is the pooper.....he has been gone since th...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'm breaking up with my Abf which is long overdue. I'm upset about the fact that I love his family...his sister is the best and treats me like a sister....and his mum welcomes me all the time. I really enjoyed going to his parent's house on Sunday afternoons, and just chatting. We h...

Messy · Messy

Thank you, to everyone for all your lovely words of encouragement. This is probably the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life (I thought childbirth was - boy I was way wrong

). Just wanted to let everyone know that he came home on Saturday night, I dropped our son off at...

Kethry · Kethry

I’ve been reading through the posts for a while, finding so many similarities between peoples’ stories and what I have been going through. I am hoping that these messages will give me the strength and courage to do what I need to do. I have an A b/f – we’ve been seeing each other f...

Katastrophe · Katastrophe

...and now I'm planning again, but terrified of failling (again). I had planned to leave my AH in September. We talked about it, I gave him a date so he'd know when he would need to start taking care of the bills on his own, etc. When it came down to signing a lease on my own place, I panicked. He said...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

nwwoman · nwwoman

My mom and I are the only people in the program in our family. She is here visiting from out of town and I feel obligated to be around family that is active in there drinking, however on the same side of the coin I want to go. I'm confused in my own mind. My sister who, last time my mom was here, told my m...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

So the silence has finally ended and last night we hugged for the first time in 3 weeks. Now what? I haven’t asked him to stop drinking and he has not offered to. Don’t want to slip into denial but can’t live with the silence. Does anyone have any self-reflecting questions I should be...

bev · bev

hi everyone,havent posted in awhile..but as some of you know i am married to an alcoholic..he is still drinking,and it is getting worse,he drinks every weekend,and drinks when he is off work during the week..i just noticed a little while ago{when i took the dogs out}that the side of my house is scorch...

FairyTales · FairyTales

Hi I'm new to the board but not to Alanon. I have been attending f2f meetings for over 2yrs now. I have been married to my active A now for 3yrs. We seperated a year ago and are currently trying to work things out even though he has not quit drinking. I have learned alot thru Alano...

Keoki · Keoki

I've packed up my kids and we now live in town, many miles from Angie and her drinking. I made big steps but still find her causing much problems in our home! Seems that her and her boyfriend have been fighting and she dosent have a place to stay. How can I refuse the mother of my childre...

Gailey · Gailey

I had a really bad day yesterday. It was one of those days that I did not get out of bed for very long. Today is much better! My A son seems to be spiraling downward. My thought for this is that he does not have a job, seems to be very depressed and just doesn't know what he is going to do. Now...that is just my opi...

cedarpines · cedarpines

Hi (((Everyone))), I have been meaning to post for awhile. I'm still trying to attend 3 -4 alanon meetings a week. My epidural steroid in Sept. didn't help so have been referred to a neurosurgeon for the discs in my neck. In October I had only a few days migraine free and was...

Gailey · Gailey

As a mother of two sons, this concept frightens me, with all the isms already rearing their ugly heads, the consumption is just a part of the disease they have yet to experience. I have carried this fear for a long time, that they too will become alcoholics. That they are genetically predi...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

Wow - I think I'm finally getting it. I cried last night - and I haven't been able to do that for some time (at least not without anger, but more with the feeling of letting go). My father passed away 4 months ago, and at one time in my life I thought when that happened, it would destroy me, but I'...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear Roomies, I have been attending Al-Anon for just over a year. I entered Al-Anon because my emotional life felt completely unmaneagble--my feelings were up, down, and all-around, and I was often reactive to people close to me. I figured that these feelings probably had their roots in my chil...

Noahs Ark · Noahs Ark

Hi I am new, my name is noah, Just learned that one of my A friends will be moving to the same city as me and also studying at the same university as me. Also, at the moment I am living with my father the recovering A, but a royal a-hole lately. My focus has been on all the...

evey · evey

I am so disgusted. My 19 year old daughter got drunk (she's away at school) and basically got nasty and violent. When friends tried to calm her down, she hit one of them. The girl elbowed my daughter trying to get away from her, resulting in a swollen face/bruised face. Then she walked in...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I've been trying to come to terms with this thing alcoholism/addiction in my own mind, seeing as it has governed my life so much. Something puzzles me and wondered if anyone could make it easier for me to understand. All or the As in my life, father, two partners, other re...

laurab · laurab

I helped my son get to Florida today. He gave me his car to sell and I bought him a ticket and gave him some cash. I could have refused and let him sell the car and buy his ticket, but I wanted him to leave so badly. I know he will drink anywhere if that's what he wants to do, but he has been sob...

debilyn · debilyn

I was just thinking and rereading the personality question. We were asked once in one of my classes to define personality. What is a personality type? I don't buy it. There is no such thing in my experience. My personality is all the "unique" things about me all in one, me. So as far as I am concerne...

shadow1 · shadow1

Hi (((((((roomies))))))) I just got word that my back surgery date is set. It will be on Dec 20th

Kinda close to Christmas but what can ya do. I will be down for a while but I bought a laptop yesterday so I will be able to keep in touch. Thanks for all your support Love...

Noahs Ark · Noahs Ark

Had a fight with my dad this morning. It just came out of me, all this anger. He is in the program but lately he's been getting everyones attention in the house coming home on the weekends miserable. It has been lousy. I let it go until today and let it out of me. It was painful to see me yelling at him like I use...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'm going through a break up with my Abf at the moment. I know there are some people who are going through similar at the moment, and some who would like me to share whats going on for me through this. Also, I am writing today to gain clarity...and maybe sanity for myself. I am leaving this...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

hello ((((((((friends)))))))), I have had a few crazy experiences this week.....hub left hospital didn't go to rehab.. his dad called him and said, you need to come home you got your job back....how stupid was that.....anyway of course, the next day out he was back in the crack house..... wow ...

Jill · Jill

In the discussion of positive results of Al-Anon, one member told of now being able to love his Dad. I had forgotten that about me! Coming here, focusing on what is mine and help from my HP allowed me to love my Dad, too. I smiled when I read his message. What a relief it was for me to just love my own dad. I didn...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, We had an awesome f2f meeting today around the Nov 18 reading. As I was driving to the meeting I was thinking that I should speak up when they say do you want to do a topic or forum favorite. Then I thought, no, let your HP lead the way. Boy, did this reading hit home. I hide and hedge and do not c...

NottaClu · NottaClu

A couple of years ago, if you had asked me to define what a crazy person was, I would have described to you someone you might find in an institution. Then a year and a half ago I joined Alanon and learned a very different definition for insanity. Albert Einstein once defined insanity as "doing the same thi...

arty · arty

I've had a trying few days. my A and i have been fighting and instead of stopping to drink to deal with this, he just continued to drink day after day... its usually only a couple of days a week that he drinks, but when we fight it is an everyday thing.... So i've been beside myself for afew days and i've w...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Dear Friends, I received this in the mail today: ME Sitting in his room is driving me wild.. I feel nothing but hurt and lonliness.. I sit in the corner like a little child, who 's been caught makint a mess. Why is that I can do nothing right? Why do I hurt the one's I love.. ...

MdmDragonfly · MdmDragonfly

I have not posted here in a while. I've read the boards, but kept to myself ... not really sure why, just wanted to stay in the back ground. My A, if anyone remembers, went to rehab 6 months ago, came home, and went to the bar on my birthday. He sobered back up, got his 3 month chip from AA, then disapp...

Messy · Messy

Well... here I am... stuck wondering what to do. I love him but I am not sure I can live like this much longer. Living pay check to pay check because our money is spent at the bar and liqour store. I want to stay but I want to go. I want him to chose me over his buddies and h...

confused · confused

Hi everyone, it has been awhile. Lots has gone on, but the fact still remains, my husband is still an A and I am still affected. Some of you know where I was a year ago when I found this room. Sad, Confused (thus the nick), scared, the list goes on and on. Well I am in...

Becky1 · Becky1

This has been a really hard thing for me. I am a "natural hover-er" as is my mother, trying to control everyone and everything around her. My AH has been made to attend Domestic Violence classes thru the court, due to a lot of stuff that happened almost 2 years ago, and most recently last D...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((((((((You Know Who))))))))))))))))))))))))(lol) Ally has a good friend in the room, kinda like a soulmate, she has not saw in a while. So this is just a wee note to say, Im thinking about you, Hoping you are doing well,And Please get in touch with me. (I is Missing You) (private...

Orchid Lady · Orchid Lady

Hello all, We all know the terrible times, the pain and hopeless that living with a Alcoholic can cause. So I was hoping we could share some of the good things that have come about by using Al-anon, this website and believing in our HP. I for one am feeling hope, moments of joy and more securi...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

"Sometimes the choices I make are not as important as the fact that I make them." Hope for Today, pg. 341 ((((Everyone)))) At my F2F meeting this was read, we were discussing the 11th step. It was an important meeting for me -- the day before I went to the Attorney's office. I was blown a...

doxie · doxie

Oh gosh, that subject line sounds so dramatic and I don't feel particularly dramatic......

I just wanted to let you all know how it is going here. I have been kinda absent, which actually has been a good thing. Not because this is a bad place, but because things have been going unbelievable we...

Tryin2havfaith · Tryin2havfaith

Everyone says it is useless to talk to As. My ex even recently told me this. I don't quite grasp this entirely. I rarely drink, and have rarely gone overboard when I do. I've never had a blackout, so we'll not bother with that, I understand a blackout is a blackout. Does drinking caus...

hudsond · hudsond

Just received this through my e-mail--thought it was a really nice story. I hope you enjoy. The author is unknown. P.U.S.H. A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, the realtor is getting concerned that the buyers are paying all this money for inspections etc. and we won't be able to contact him to sign the papers. The closing attorney said I would have to file a lawsuit in order to get the right to sell the house without him. He said it would be long and costly. I...

just me · just me

Hi all! I am having a very difficult time with my ex-AH and his behavior regarding visitation with our 5 yr old daughter and the legal system. Basically to make a long story short we divorced after an extremely nasty proceeding in which he accused me of many terrible things like drug addiction...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am going to be busy all week next week working every single day. The A is trying to put a spin on how sad it is his mother is not around to cook thanksgiving for him and his brother. Every year he went off to his mother's for thanksgiving. He could care less what I did. He neve...

sld488 · sld488

I had an accident at work and all the red tape to get workers comp. has been a nightmare. Here it is a month later, I'm still in pain, not working, and with no income. I was suppose to get married last month, but we had another huge arguement about my son and now we are separated. My son and I are livin...

Gailey · Gailey

OK...tomorrow morning is my first meeting with my sponser outside of a f2f Alanon meeting. I am not sure what to expect. She is very easy to talk to but I am not sure I should ask her questions about her personal life or am I suppose to just let her ask me questions about mine. I don't know whether it will be...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Part of my recovery includes dealing with some financial demons of the past. I have worked to get many of my past debts cleaned up one at a time as I cannot do them all at one time. I returned a call from the guarantor of my student loan which I have been making sporadic payments to. I rea...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello Group))) In working with my sponser I have begun to look at sanity and what that means to me and what sanity looks like now. The only point of reference I have to gauge myself on is life before the A. My life looked very different then. I was single, had a good job, my own apar...

hudsond · hudsond

O.k. not like audible voices--just those that keep telling me--I am not satisfied with things in my life, I am not important, I am lonely, I am fat, this is not the way my life was suppose to end up, watch out your husband has had 3 sober months but you know things for you can't go good so you know something is...

marmare · marmare

I accepted the job I was offered and already don't like it, after working just two days. There is a lot of down time and no customer contact. I had a hard time telling my A. I didn't want to see ungrateful, because I am grateful that I am employed. I had to work this out in my mind I g...

maire rua · maire rua

Today I have practised setting boundaries, in small things, like refusing to allow people to do what they like in the work environment that I am responsible for. In some ways I am paying for it with snide jokes and bullying behaviour which I am also calling up on. For instance, what do you mean by that is w...

Rita G · Rita G

Please keep me in your thoughts & prayers tonight - 6:00 (CST), as I will be sharing my story of recovery at my home group meeting, again. The person that was suppose to share reschedule to December, so I'm filling in for him tonight. It seems that my HP has been calling me to do this severa...

serendipity · serendipity

my best friend had a baby on tuesday. she is nursing right now. i nursed all of my babies and i am her biggest support as far as that goes. but i have a feeling that she is not going to stick with it. i don't really care, he's not my baby and it really doesn't impact my life one way or the other. but i am so annoyed t...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

We are only having polite conversations in my home right now. I am trying not to have any expectations and this has helped reduce my daily disappointment regarding this state of living. Because we are in this state of limbo, I do not want to go to a wedding this weekend with him. It is...

afmom03 · afmom03

No Title Yet!! (Sigh) I'd like to write a book~But I'll just do this poem~About a whole lot of things~That you haven't been knowin'~Like how I feel~and what I think~If you can't change your life~I'll be gone in a blink~I've learned so much about your disease~From an Al-Anon group~On o...

arty · arty

...as i read everyone elses posts ive got tears streaming down my face as i feel so devastated that i am going thru this pain in my life. and i find it extremely unfair that we all seem SOOOO caring, yet is is just one sided as our A's seem to be plain selfish. i have my good days when i feel real...

laurab · laurab

I don't know when I am enabling my A son or when I'm helping as I should. Here's where we are: I just lost thousands because I signed a mortgage for him and his wife and they stopped paying and I sold the house for thousands less (my money)than was owed. His wife is living with her boyfriend but calling m...

barisax · barisax

The topic of therapy comes up frequently - here as well as f2f meetings. Without discussing details, I've been there done that. One reason I am not doing it now is because I don't have a therapy goal. I think it's important to have one. Unlike the program, therapy is for a very limited time - 50 minute...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What constitues drunk driving????And when is it meddling?? (Preview) I have a situation and would like any ideas. My husband's claim is that in a 2 1/2 hour time frame, he consumed about 6 beers, last beer about 8-8:30pm. He got a call at 2:45 am to go to work. He drives tractor trailer. Is he still legally drunk? That was Friday night into Saturday morning. Then Saturda...	horselover58	15	672	Nov 21, 2006 by Maria123
	Well here is my story - about to divorce a parent (Preview) Seriously. About a year ago sister and I put together a lot of pieces and well! what a whole we found. Dear old Mom, the martyr, was quite the drinking girl. As is so often the case, the hard part is separating her outrageous (drunken) behavior from her awful betrayals as a sober person. Which ca...	HereIam	5	465	Nov 21, 2006 by HereIam
	The Car (Preview) This really is not about any alanon topic that I can discover. However, I don't know who else to ask, so please forgive me for straying from the subject. My car needed an alignment. So I went to a tire store. There were 2 female customers there ahead of me. Ther...	ditto	3	352	Nov 21, 2006 by barisax
	IT HAS STARTED AGAIN!!! (Preview) HI to everyone. I haven't been here in a LONG TIME! And that is good I think. Well to me it was. That meant things were going ok w/my A husband. He has been clean and sober for 6 months and one week to the day as of last Thursday, 11/16/06. Here is the pooper.....he has been gone since th...	QOD	13	604	Nov 21, 2006 by abbyal
	break up (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm breaking up with my Abf which is long overdue. I'm upset about the fact that I love his family...his sister is the best and treats me like a sister....and his mum welcomes me all the time. I really enjoyed going to his parent's house on Sunday afternoons, and just chatting. We h...	annmarie	5	411	Nov 20, 2006 by Andrea12
	A Brief update (Preview) Thank you, to everyone for all your lovely words of encouragement. This is probably the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life (I thought childbirth was - boy I was way wrong ). Just wanted to let everyone know that he came home on Saturday night, I dropped our son off at...	Messy	1	303	Nov 20, 2006 by rtexas
	Really confused and feeling stupid. (Preview) I’ve been reading through the posts for a while, finding so many similarities between peoples’ stories and what I have been going through. I am hoping that these messages will give me the strength and courage to do what I need to do. I have an A b/f – we’ve been seeing each other f...	Kethry	6	555	Nov 20, 2006 by Kethry
	I gave in to the fear... (Preview) ...and now I'm planning again, but terrified of failling (again). I had planned to leave my AH in September. We talked about it, I gave him a date so he'd know when he would need to start taking care of the bills on his own, etc. When it came down to signing a lease on my own place, I panicked. He said...	Katastrophe	3	444	Nov 20, 2006 by Tiger2006
	HERE WE GO AGAIN (Preview) (((((((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))))))))))))))	ally	1	373	Nov 20, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Holidays around the a (Preview) My mom and I are the only people in the program in our family. She is here visiting from out of town and I feel obligated to be around family that is active in there drinking, however on the same side of the coin I want to go. I'm confused in my own mind. My sister who, last time my mom was here, told my m...	nwwoman	7	515	Nov 20, 2006 by nwwoman
	Proceed with caution (Preview) So the silence has finally ended and last night we hugged for the first time in 3 weeks. Now what? I haven’t asked him to stop drinking and he has not offered to. Don’t want to slip into denial but can’t live with the silence. Does anyone have any self-reflecting questions I should be...	Elizabeth M	7	379	Nov 20, 2006 by SLS
	some happy news (Preview) hi everyone,havent posted in awhile..but as some of you know i am married to an alcoholic..he is still drinking,and it is getting worse,he drinks every weekend,and drinks when he is off work during the week..i just noticed a little while ago{when i took the dogs out}that the side of my house is scorch...	bev	6	355	Nov 20, 2006 by kismetstrand
	Frustrated (Preview) Hi I'm new to the board but not to Alanon. I have been attending f2f meetings for over 2yrs now. I have been married to my active A now for 3yrs. We seperated a year ago and are currently trying to work things out even though he has not quit drinking. I have learned alot thru Alano...	FairyTales	3	385	Nov 20, 2006 by kismetstrand
	I've come a long way (Preview) I've packed up my kids and we now live in town, many miles from Angie and her drinking. I made big steps but still find her causing much problems in our home! Seems that her and her boyfriend have been fighting and she dosent have a place to stay. How can I refuse the mother of my childre...	Keoki	4	382	Nov 20, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Getting out of God's (my HP) way (Preview) I had a really bad day yesterday. It was one of those days that I did not get out of bed for very long. Today is much better! My A son seems to be spiraling downward. My thought for this is that he does not have a job, seems to be very depressed and just doesn't know what he is going to do. Now...that is just my opi...	Gailey	2	509	Nov 20, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Update (Preview) Hi (((Everyone))), I have been meaning to post for awhile. I'm still trying to attend 3 -4 alanon meetings a week. My epidural steroid in Sept. didn't help so have been referred to a neurosurgeon for the discs in my neck. In October I had only a few days migraine free and was...	cedarpines	11	513	Nov 20, 2006 by aunitedway
	AHA moment from Lynn (confused) (Preview) As a mother of two sons, this concept frightens me, with all the isms already rearing their ugly heads, the consumption is just a part of the disease they have yet to experience. I have carried this fear for a long time, that they too will become alcoholics. That they are genetically predi...	Gailey	3	372	Nov 20, 2006 by Noni
	Wow - I think I'm getting it ... (Preview) Wow - I think I'm finally getting it. I cried last night - and I haven't been able to do that for some time (at least not without anger, but more with the feeling of letting go). My father passed away 4 months ago, and at one time in my life I thought when that happened, it would destroy me, but I'...	HadEnuff	1	428	Nov 20, 2006 by Noni
	Effective Ways to Deal with ANGER (and other primal emotions)? (Preview) Dear Roomies, I have been attending Al-Anon for just over a year. I entered Al-Anon because my emotional life felt completely unmaneagble--my feelings were up, down, and all-around, and I was often reactive to people close to me. I figured that these feelings probably had their roots in my chil...	BlueCloud	5	573	Nov 20, 2006 by Orchid Lady
	I am new (Preview) Hi I am new, my name is noah, Just learned that one of my A friends will be moving to the same city as me and also studying at the same university as me. Also, at the moment I am living with my father the recovering A, but a royal a-hole lately. My focus has been on all the...	Noahs Ark	4	373	Nov 20, 2006 by lin0606
	daughter drunk (Preview) I am so disgusted. My 19 year old daughter got drunk (she's away at school) and basically got nasty and violent. When friends tried to calm her down, she hit one of them. The girl elbowed my daughter trying to get away from her, resulting in a swollen face/bruised face. Then she walked in...	evey	13	607	Nov 20, 2006 by mel123
	when does Aism start in a person? (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been trying to come to terms with this thing alcoholism/addiction in my own mind, seeing as it has governed my life so much. Something puzzles me and wondered if anyone could make it easier for me to understand. All or the As in my life, father, two partners, other re...	annmarie	5	387	Nov 20, 2006 by AndiLynn
	I helped him go, but I needed him to leave (Preview) I helped my son get to Florida today. He gave me his car to sell and I bought him a ticket and gave him some cash. I could have refused and let him sell the car and buy his ticket, but I wanted him to leave so badly. I know he will drink anywhere if that's what he wants to do, but he has been sob...	laurab	5	470	Nov 19, 2006 by laurab
	What the???? (Preview) I was just thinking and rereading the personality question. We were asked once in one of my classes to define personality. What is a personality type? I don't buy it. There is no such thing in my experience. My personality is all the "unique" things about me all in one, me. So as far as I am concerne...	debilyn	1	352	Nov 19, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Surgery date!!!!! (Preview) Hi (((((((roomies))))))) I just got word that my back surgery date is set. It will be on Dec 20th Kinda close to Christmas but what can ya do. I will be down for a while but I bought a laptop yesterday so I will be able to keep in touch. Thanks for all your support Love...	shadow1	9	446	Nov 19, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Had a fight with my oldman this morning (Preview) Had a fight with my dad this morning. It just came out of me, all this anger. He is in the program but lately he's been getting everyones attention in the house coming home on the weekends miserable. It has been lousy. I let it go until today and let it out of me. It was painful to see me yelling at him like I use...	Noahs Ark	3	579	Nov 19, 2006 by Tiger2006
	going through the process of breaking up (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm going through a break up with my Abf at the moment. I know there are some people who are going through similar at the moment, and some who would like me to share whats going on for me through this. Also, I am writing today to gain clarity...and maybe sanity for myself. I am leaving this...	annmarie	2	468	Nov 19, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Taking care of me first (Preview) hello ((((((((friends)))))))), I have had a few crazy experiences this week.....hub left hospital didn't go to rehab.. his dad called him and said, you need to come home you got your job back....how stupid was that.....anyway of course, the next day out he was back in the crack house..... wow ...	Andrea12	8	613	Nov 19, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Remind Me of Something Wonderful (Preview) In the discussion of positive results of Al-Anon, one member told of now being able to love his Dad. I had forgotten that about me! Coming here, focusing on what is mine and help from my HP allowed me to love my Dad, too. I smiled when I read his message. What a relief it was for me to just love my own dad. I didn...	Jill	3	462	Nov 19, 2006 by Noahs Ark
	Hope for Today reading-Nov 18 (Preview) Hi Alanoners, We had an awesome f2f meeting today around the Nov 18 reading. As I was driving to the meeting I was thinking that I should speak up when they say do you want to do a topic or forum favorite. Then I thought, no, let your HP lead the way. Boy, did this reading hit home. I hide and hedge and do not c...	nmike	1	460	Nov 19, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Stopping the Insanity (Preview) A couple of years ago, if you had asked me to define what a crazy person was, I would have described to you someone you might find in an institution. Then a year and a half ago I joined Alanon and learned a very different definition for insanity. Albert Einstein once defined insanity as "doing the same thi...	NottaClu	4	522	Nov 19, 2006 by annmarie
	crying the last few days (Preview) I've had a trying few days. my A and i have been fighting and instead of stopping to drink to deal with this, he just continued to drink day after day... its usually only a couple of days a week that he drinks, but when we fight it is an everyday thing.... So i've been beside myself for afew days and i've w...	arty	4	536	Nov 19, 2006 by annmarie
	A poem From An Addict (Preview) Hello Dear Friends, I received this in the mail today: ME Sitting in his room is driving me wild.. I feel nothing but hurt and lonliness.. I sit in the corner like a little child, who 's been caught makint a mess. Why is that I can do nothing right? Why do I hurt the one's I love.. ...	Andrea12	5	438	Nov 19, 2006 by annmarie
	I've reached MY rock bottom (Preview) I have not posted here in a while. I've read the boards, but kept to myself ... not really sure why, just wanted to stay in the back ground. My A, if anyone remembers, went to rehab 6 months ago, came home, and went to the bar on my birthday. He sobered back up, got his 3 month chip from AA, then disapp...	MdmDragonfly	6	590	Nov 18, 2006 by nmike
	When you love them - how do you let them go? (Preview) Well... here I am... stuck wondering what to do. I love him but I am not sure I can live like this much longer. Living pay check to pay check because our money is spent at the bar and liqour store. I want to stay but I want to go. I want him to chose me over his buddies and h...	Messy	5	562	Nov 18, 2006 by nmike
	my growth and the gifts of the program (Preview) Hi everyone, it has been awhile. Lots has gone on, but the fact still remains, my husband is still an A and I am still affected. Some of you know where I was a year ago when I found this room. Sad, Confused (thus the nick), scared, the list goes on and on. Well I am in...	confused	3	677	Nov 18, 2006 by carosie
	Working on Detachment (Preview) This has been a really hard thing for me. I am a "natural hover-er" as is my mother, trying to control everyone and everything around her. My AH has been made to attend Domestic Violence classes thru the court, due to a lot of stuff that happened almost 2 years ago, and most recently last D...	Becky1	2	338	Nov 18, 2006 by rtexas
	Ally's Friend (Preview) (((((((((((((((((((((((You Know Who))))))))))))))))))))))))(lol) Ally has a good friend in the room, kinda like a soulmate, she has not saw in a while. So this is just a wee note to say, Im thinking about you, Hoping you are doing well,And Please get in touch with me. (I is Missing You) (private...	ally	0	307	Nov 18, 2006 by ally
	Share Positive Stories (Preview) Hello all, We all know the terrible times, the pain and hopeless that living with a Alcoholic can cause. So I was hoping we could share some of the good things that have come about by using Al-anon, this website and believing in our HP. I for one am feeling hope, moments of joy and more securi...	Orchid Lady	9	638	Nov 18, 2006 by Jennifer
	Angry and confused (Preview) "Sometimes the choices I make are not as important as the fact that I make them." Hope for Today, pg. 341 ((((Everyone)))) At my F2F meeting this was read, we were discussing the 11th step. It was an important meeting for me -- the day before I went to the Attorney's office. I was blown a...	Lunamoth	8	548	Nov 18, 2006 by Andrea12
	Life after A/son home from prison (Preview) Oh gosh, that subject line sounds so dramatic and I don't feel particularly dramatic...... I just wanted to let you all know how it is going here. I have been kinda absent, which actually has been a good thing. Not because this is a bad place, but because things have been going unbelievable we...	doxie	7	461	Nov 18, 2006 by Andrea12
	Useless to talk to As (Preview) Everyone says it is useless to talk to As. My ex even recently told me this. I don't quite grasp this entirely. I rarely drink, and have rarely gone overboard when I do. I've never had a blackout, so we'll not bother with that, I understand a blackout is a blackout. Does drinking caus...	Tryin2havfaith	8	558	Nov 18, 2006 by Tryin2havfaith
	P.U.S.H. (Preview) Just received this through my e-mail--thought it was a really nice story. I hope you enjoy. The author is unknown. P.U.S.H. A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed...	hudsond	2	418	Nov 18, 2006 by afmom03
	Update again - long (Preview) Well, the realtor is getting concerned that the buyers are paying all this money for inspections etc. and we won't be able to contact him to sign the papers. The closing attorney said I would have to file a lawsuit in order to get the right to sell the house without him. He said it would be long and costly. I...	carolinagirl	4	543	Nov 17, 2006 by liza
	Dealing with ex-AH and kids (Preview) Hi all! I am having a very difficult time with my ex-AH and his behavior regarding visitation with our 5 yr old daughter and the legal system. Basically to make a long story short we divorced after an extremely nasty proceeding in which he accused me of many terrible things like drug addiction...	just me	8	2228	Nov 17, 2006 by carolinagirl
	getting better one day at a time (Preview) I am going to be busy all week next week working every single day. The A is trying to put a spin on how sad it is his mother is not around to cook thanksgiving for him and his brother. Every year he went off to his mother's for thanksgiving. He could care less what I did. He neve...	maresie2	1	335	Nov 17, 2006 by hersh
	starting over (Preview) I had an accident at work and all the red tape to get workers comp. has been a nightmare. Here it is a month later, I'm still in pain, not working, and with no income. I was suppose to get married last month, but we had another huge arguement about my son and now we are separated. My son and I are livin...	sld488	3	339	Nov 17, 2006 by maresie2
	My first one on one with my sponser (Preview) OK...tomorrow morning is my first meeting with my sponser outside of a f2f Alanon meeting. I am not sure what to expect. She is very easy to talk to but I am not sure I should ask her questions about her personal life or am I suppose to just let her ask me questions about mine. I don't know whether it will be...	Gailey	4	467	Nov 17, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Am I being unreasonable? (Preview) Part of my recovery includes dealing with some financial demons of the past. I have worked to get many of my past debts cleaned up one at a time as I cannot do them all at one time. I returned a call from the guarantor of my student loan which I have been making sporadic payments to. I rea...	AlaMom	4	478	Nov 17, 2006 by Christy
	What does sanity look like now? (Preview) (((Hello Group))) In working with my sponser I have begun to look at sanity and what that means to me and what sanity looks like now. The only point of reference I have to gauge myself on is life before the A. My life looked very different then. I was single, had a good job, my own apar...	twinmom2	5	982	Nov 17, 2006 by maresie2
	voices inside the head today (Preview) O.k. not like audible voices--just those that keep telling me--I am not satisfied with things in my life, I am not important, I am lonely, I am fat, this is not the way my life was suppose to end up, watch out your husband has had 3 sober months but you know things for you can't go good so you know something is...	hudsond	5	429	Nov 17, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Working on what "I" want (Preview) I accepted the job I was offered and already don't like it, after working just two days. There is a lot of down time and no customer contact. I had a hard time telling my A. I didn't want to see ungrateful, because I am grateful that I am employed. I had to work this out in my mind I g...	marmare	2	412	Nov 17, 2006 by Tiger2006
	establishing boundaries (Preview) Today I have practised setting boundaries, in small things, like refusing to allow people to do what they like in the work environment that I am responsible for. In some ways I am paying for it with snide jokes and bullying behaviour which I am also calling up on. For instance, what do you mean by that is w...	maire rua	2	487	Nov 17, 2006 by maresie2
	Speaker Meeting (Preview) Please keep me in your thoughts & prayers tonight - 6:00 (CST), as I will be sharing my story of recovery at my home group meeting, again. The person that was suppose to share reschedule to December, so I'm filling in for him tonight. It seems that my HP has been calling me to do this severa...	Rita G	7	450	Nov 17, 2006 by barisax
	what is wrong with me? (Preview) my best friend had a baby on tuesday. she is nursing right now. i nursed all of my babies and i am her biggest support as far as that goes. but i have a feeling that she is not going to stick with it. i don't really care, he's not my baby and it really doesn't impact my life one way or the other. but i am so annoyed t...	serendipity	4	477	Nov 17, 2006 by maresie2
	Don't want to go & need advise (Preview) We are only having polite conversations in my home right now. I am trying not to have any expectations and this has helped reduce my daily disappointment regarding this state of living. Because we are in this state of limbo, I do not want to go to a wedding this weekend with him. It is...	Elizabeth M	8	1012	Nov 17, 2006 by maresie2
	Amazing/What happens at home alone/Writing/Thinking.... (Preview) No Title Yet!! (Sigh) I'd like to write a book~But I'll just do this poem~About a whole lot of things~That you haven't been knowin'~Like how I feel~and what I think~If you can't change your life~I'll be gone in a blink~I've learned so much about your disease~From an Al-Anon group~On o...	afmom03	3	383	Nov 17, 2006 by Elizabeth M
	i want to go to f2f meetings but... (Preview) ...as i read everyone elses posts ive got tears streaming down my face as i feel so devastated that i am going thru this pain in my life. and i find it extremely unfair that we all seem SOOOO caring, yet is is just one sided as our A's seem to be plain selfish. i have my good days when i feel real...	arty	11	509	Nov 17, 2006 by doxie
	good mom, bad mom (Preview) I don't know when I am enabling my A son or when I'm helping as I should. Here's where we are: I just lost thousands because I signed a mortgage for him and his wife and they stopped paying and I sold the house for thousands less (my money)than was owed. His wife is living with her boyfriend but calling m...	laurab	7	672	Nov 17, 2006 by doxie
	Therapy (Preview) The topic of therapy comes up frequently - here as well as f2f meetings. Without discussing details, I've been there done that. One reason I am not doing it now is because I don't have a therapy goal. I think it's important to have one. Unlike the program, therapy is for a very limited time - 50 minute...	barisax	9	538	Nov 16, 2006 by AndiLynn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.