Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie2 · maresie2

I used to try to set limits with the A by screaming, going on and on about things and talking endlessly about what I would not do. Then I would inevitably renege and do it anyways. I would be rewarded for 10 minutes by his affection and appreciation then he would be right back to normal. T...

twinkie · twinkie

I'm having a hard time discerning this on. In healthy relationships, we have disagreements with others. We get hurt by what someone says or an action they may take. We may have a conflict. It is our responsibility to tell that person how we feel, isn't it? If the relat...

Mom2EB · Mom2EB

Lately I've been feeling a lot of resentment and anger towards my A. Last weekend I reluctantly agreed to go to a visit with her for the good of my child. However, I could not look my A in the eye and just felt mad the whole time I was there. She asked if we could hug and I tried to be polite and said "no thank you"...

debilyn · debilyn

My daughter read me this and it was an omg moment. This is so profound to me, so true. I almost have all of A's stuff gone. My son came over and scoped out the tools.... I knew tha that was that... haha but that way he did not freak too much when I asked him and his friend to get my hay and grain to the barn! smile...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Today I ended up calling the police on my ex. And it wasn't even to do with drinking. Though it may be related. Since the most recent 'lapse' I have started to take more of a stand against my ex partner (and A) and put more boundaries in place. I said to him I'm not going to tel...

Christy · Christy

(((friends))) Over the years in chat I've mentioned my "fatgirl" and shared pictures with my friends of my old sweet dog. Sadly, I had to put her down today. She was my constant companion through the years when my A lived on a bar stool. I'm not looking for pity by posting, but more to acknowledge h...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I work 4 days a week and every day that I am at work my kids are home alone for about 2 1/2 hours destroying my house. Every night when I get home I am yelling at them because I am so angry that my house is dirty and sometimes when they try to clean it's still never enough. I spend EVERY weekend clea...

Rita G · Rita G

Good Afternoon my MIP Family, I have been out of touch for a few days - I've missed all of you. Can you be filled with Joy & Sadness at the same time? I can. I am. They confirmed that Monday 12/4 our new home will finally be delivered. 15 months after Hurricane Rita dam...

BnA2006 · BnA2006

Its just been one of those weeks/ months! I feel as though i'm slowly going insane. I see from these boards that i'm lucky that my A is sober (for now) and in recovery. He's actually doing wonderful! I should be in a state of peace right now, knowing he's okay, and he's working his a$$ off to be well and take c...

gardengal · gardengal

Lately I have been struggling with 'something" ,,,,feeling blagh, feeling desparate, feeling lonely altho my family and friends surround me. I cannot pinpoint what the issue is that I should feel this way! I cannot understand why I have to pretend to be happy when I am with them while feeling out of so...

irish54 · irish54

Hi all, Thank you for those of you who responded to my post earlier. Since then, after much thought and prayer, I have taken my grandaughter to live here with me, hubby and other grandaughter. I don't know how things got so bad between her and her mother (my daughter) but they have.&nb...

hudsond · hudsond

O.k. for the past couple of days we have been posting about frustrations with children and taking anger out on them, and not having clean houses. Well so past couple of nights I have been trying to work one on one with my children in a chore--I tend to expect them to clean or put away whatever I want t...

FairyTales · FairyTales

You know when I first came into the rooms of Alanon a couple of years ago I was one of those that didn't think I had a problem. I didn't think I was the crazy one. My husband was the one who had the problem. In fact, If I were honest with myself, I still could not see how crazy I was until just...

maresie2 · maresie2

This past Wednesday at the online evening meeting the topic was Martyrdom and humility. I found some of the shares life changing. Of course I have been aware that martyrdom was a huge part in my relationship with the A. I also felt set up in it. And I am only beginning to se...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Sometimes our experiences in living around addiction can be helpful to us in places where we don't necessarily expect it..... I am a manager of a large workforce, and we would certainly have our share of addicts, alcoholics, etc., among the group..... One of the employees almost lost h...

jaja · jaja

Well, as recommended by Tiger2006 in my last post, I looked up PAWS which is something I've never heard of before in relation to alcoholism. I must say it was a little unnerving for me. It seems to me that one is a personality thing and the other is a nervous system thing (sorry...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))))))))

Messy · Messy

I have been on this post board for a, I think, a week (or maybe a little longer)... I have had some really bad days and then I have had some okay days... though I think today is a blah day for me. I guess today I just want to reflect on the condition of my life at this moment... I received a wonderful res...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was thinking about this earlier. Thinking about my first marriage to an A and how easily I walked away and didn't look back no guilt, no shame, no bs. Then I developed "loyalty". So my question is do we become this way as a reaction to living in horriffic situations? OR... Do...

arty · arty

Hi guys, Ive been on the MIP chat lately and it has been incredible. its such a calming thing for me. My A has been drinking 7 days outof the past 9 days. he thinks it is ok because he isnt abusive, or falling over or passing out... so of course it is me who has the problem. Ive tried my hardest not to figh...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, I have been looking for websites that have information on how alcohol affect sanity and experiences of delusional states. Signs to look for, progression, triggers ... really any information. I have been looking for the last few days, tried reading them til my eyes started making...

laurab · laurab

Good morning all, My A son took off to Florida 12 days ago to start fresh with sober friends, job prospects etc. I was so happy to have him far away. I really got my life going. Yesterday he called to say he wants to come back to NY, not to live with us, but he thinks his separated from wife, will buy him and...

Gailey · Gailey

I was just wondering if doing something for my A son that basically has a consequence with it is actually an act of enabling. Here it is: A son still does not have a job. Money has become very tight and this is probably the first month he cannot make his bills. He informed me that he was going to take...

carosie · carosie

(((roomies)))) thank you all for your posts. I did feel the love from you all. Decided to start my day over yesterday when the funk had set in. Worked on my gratitude list, accepted that I just felt unsettled. Had a talk with hubby about the problem. Said the Serenity Prayer and realized I needed to a...

maresie2 · maresie2

Today the A was having his usual huge temper tantrums and for once I was not being affected by it which in itself is a miracle. Some person owes him money and it is the end of the world. Life has to be entirely on his terms. I was detaching away there thinking of anything but his ta...

memeself · memeself

Hi everyone... Just a note to let you ppls know that I am still thinking about you. And I haven't fallen off the face of the planet. Even though I haven't been around for awhile, you guys have been in my thoughts and prayers. Hard times have hit and I have been extremely overwhelmed. My Grandpa ha...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Tonight I had to go move the big stuff out of my house that is closing on Thursday. The riding mower, push mower, ladder, etc. My sponsor's husband got volunteered to come help me with his trailer. First off the A was supposed to be staying at the house and I haven't heard from him since Mon. So it's just me a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

AH came over for Thanksgiving and was the kind wonderful guy he can be when he really wants something. Sad to say it like that but I think I have been down this road enough times that I am starting to see that things will be good for a while and then regress back to alcoholic hell. I saw another p...

carosie · carosie

(((roomies))) the last few days have been hard for me for some reason. Not sure what is going on with me. My AH has been sober for over a month now and is in therapy and seeing a therapist, started going to weekly AA meetings. My kids were both here for Thanksgiving. We had a nice time. It was good to see t...

ally · ally

((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))) I read Davids post today and It got me thinking.(oh no lol). I go to f2f meetings three different ones, I got one man in one of the meetings. He Is Awesome, he has taught me so much about myself, about Al-Anon, the steps, my behavior, my reactions, my resentment...

nmike · nmike

(((((hi Alanon Friends))))) I really needed my f2f meeting tonight but it started snowing. I spent some time over Thanksgiving with my AHsober. My mom invited us to her house for turkey dinner. I told her we both didn't have to come because it seems we are making everyone uncomfortable. I called my H...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I have often been asked "How do you detach". I did a google search this morning on detachment and found the following article. I found it very insightful and want to share it with you all. I only hope that it will help some of you as much as it has me. The Incredible Shrinking Relativ...

maresie2 · maresie2

I really feel for me the task of getting through the holidays is so so key. After the holidays some of my financial pressures get better. There will always be financial pressures living with an active A. There will always be crisis, he lives them day in day out. Yesterday it was a huge crisis he los...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) I went to a F2F meeting I had never been to last week on Wednesday, because I missed my regular meeting on Tuesday. I told the folks in there that I appreciated them being there because I needed to bolster up my courage for the holiday. So here is how my holiday went. ...

Newme · Newme

Hello to my real friends whom understand me and they are always there for me...I have had many lonely evenings in the past few weeks which left me very very angry, frustrated and down...i even started having doubts in fellowship as a result of my anger and that I didn't know how to deal with the situation...

Jill · Jill

What’s the deal with a’s (maybe I shouldn’t generalize, it might just be this one) and customer service? Mine gets lit and gets on the phone with you-name-it company’s cust serv. The poor agents! He’s at it now concerning our printer. He rebukes them if they’re in a foreign country (most of them are in t...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((((everyone))))) Today at my f2f meeting I had an experience that has made me very uneasy. It's been almost 6 hrs ago and I'm still thinking about it. I've been going to this particular f2f meeting for three years and am the treasurer for the group. I love this group.&...

hersh · hersh

(((Everyone))) Hope you all are doing well. Things are fair here, husband almost has 30 days sobriety (on Wed) due to a DUI - he is too afraid I guess to continue drinking. I have been staying home, enjoying the peace - and enjoying him being home for a change. But, things ha...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

-- Edited by drucilla06 at 02:04, 2006-11-29

HereIam · HereIam

I can see how an addict needs it to just get through a day without drinking, but I don;t see it as very helpful. i mean, I have a life and a family. i need to think about them and their future. One day at a time does not cut it. This is an example of take what you need and leave the rest, for me, as far as Al-Anon...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Greetings to my long lost family. It's sooo good to be back. Happy Belated Thanksgiving to all of you. It has been quite the few weeks. A week before Thanksgiving hubby dropped me off at work because it was raining. 20 minutes later he called me and told me to...

Gailey · Gailey

My son's children are only 4 and 6 but my dil still has to deal with their concerns about why daddy doesn't live with them anymore. It is hard for her to try to explain things to them as my son could never get into those conversations with them. dil and myself have told him not to promise the girls anythi...

Gailey · Gailey

Just got finished with a long IM conversation with my other dil. She is married to my son who is in the Navy. They live about 4.5 hours away from us in Norfolk, VA. She is from Japan and really knows nothing about Alanon or dealing with aism. I told her that I would help her to understand things that she n...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) I have not been able to post until today since I don't have a computer at home. Thanksgiving was a good time. Lots of people and lots of food. Everyone had a great time. The wedding on Friday was beautiful. Everything went according to plan and was v...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

This weekend two of my four children told me that my attendance at Alaon meetings was not helping. I told them it was helping me cope but unfortunately they see their father getting worse. My oldest went so far as to say he didn’t believe in that sh--. He thinks we need marriage couns...

maresie2 · maresie2

Thanksgiivng was pretty brutal for me but I made it through. I ended up with an enormous headache which may have been sinus or migraine that went on for days. I worked super hard not to go into super toxic resentment with the A. I have to admit it was hard going but I kept at it....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was reading a story in Time magazine online about how we are afraid of things we shouldn't be and ignore the things we should.... and I got to this paragraph and it answered a question for me that I had been pondering about why I left so easily the first time and how we tolerate such unbearable circumstan...

Gailey · Gailey

If you read my other post titled "God bless the children of A's...................... well....he did not go!!!! I am just about losing it today. I seem to be able to be compassionate until it comes to him letting down my granddaughters. I have 1 more hour here at work and can barely hold back th...

barisax · barisax

You know, recent postings bring together some thoughts I've had and rather than respond on the individual threads, I thought I'd try to summarize my thoughts a bit. We've had recent threads on AAs in Alanon, Men in Alanon, and some very graphic descriptions of "male" behavior at its worst. Alcoh...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was just reading over some of my posts from two weeks ago when my life was in turmoil. Am I so desperate for kindness that upon receiving just a little I forgive and forget all the hell I have been put thru. By the way he signed the papers for the house when he came for Thanksgiving! He s...

hudsond · hudsond

Today is a good day. The past 3 months have been good months. My ah has been sober for 3 and 1/2 months. My ex-husband is working in India for close to 9 months--so I haven't had to shuffle the kids back and forth. I have a new position at my school--less work same pay. We ar...

irish54 · irish54

Hi, A lot of new people have joined our family here and I say WELCOME to all!!! I won't rehash all of my story, but I do have an update and request ESH and prayers. My son in law was killed in a car wreck June 1st... 3 days before his daughter's 14th birthday. Since then things have been a c...

jaja · jaja

Here I go again back down into a small slump. I'm not exactly sure why since my AH is being nice and we are getting along fine now. Of course that's because we are not actually living under the same roof. But he comes over every day to visit, calls at least once a day, and makes sure stuff...

Lexie · Lexie

(((((((((friends)))))))))) I am not good at posting here, just try to answer some posts. I am still a "veteren"........lol. Anway, I am fighting depression and so much sadness and thought maybe I could just get my thoughts out here and hopefully help me to feel better. My hu...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Maria123 · Maria123

Has anyone seen or heard from memeself???? If you don't want to post the information, please private message me. I'd like to tell her that I am thinking of her and her beautiful Smiley and hope things are ok with her health. Thanks, Maria123

lmt123 · lmt123

Today I went on a wonderful power walk, on my usual route. I often see this girl I know from AA (she's also at my Alanon meetings) around the lake where I walk. I'll call her "E" for the sake of this post, so as not to break her anonymity. E usually walks along with me whenever we see eac...

artygirl · artygirl

Haven't seen you on the board for a few days... is everything okay?

gardengal · gardengal

For me I learned that things may not be as they seem,,thus I learned not to jump to conclusions, like I had always done in various areas of my life. The alcoholic had made me to the point where I didnt trust anyone anymore,including close friends and family members, so slowly I learned to trust again. I th...

Rebecca · Rebecca

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Different ways of setting limits (Preview) I used to try to set limits with the A by screaming, going on and on about things and talking endlessly about what I would not do. Then I would inevitably renege and do it anyways. I would be rewarded for 10 minutes by his affection and appreciation then he would be right back to normal. T...	maresie2	6	465	Dec 2, 2006 by Andrea12
	When are disagreements healthy and when are they part of the disease? (Preview) I'm having a hard time discerning this on. In healthy relationships, we have disagreements with others. We get hurt by what someone says or an action they may take. We may have a conflict. It is our responsibility to tell that person how we feel, isn't it? If the relat...	twinkie	5	541	Dec 2, 2006 by lin0606
	Resentment (Preview) Lately I've been feeling a lot of resentment and anger towards my A. Last weekend I reluctantly agreed to go to a visit with her for the good of my child. However, I could not look my A in the eye and just felt mad the whole time I was there. She asked if we could hug and I tried to be polite and said "no thank you"...	Mom2EB	5	566	Dec 2, 2006 by Mobirdie
	Great analogy of how the A disease pulls us down. (Preview) My daughter read me this and it was an omg moment. This is so profound to me, so true. I almost have all of A's stuff gone. My son came over and scoped out the tools.... I knew tha that was that... haha but that way he did not freak too much when I asked him and his friend to get my hay and grain to the barn! smile...	debilyn	6	523	Dec 2, 2006 by Busbe
	Pushed to the edge (Preview) Today I ended up calling the police on my ex. And it wasn't even to do with drinking. Though it may be related. Since the most recent 'lapse' I have started to take more of a stand against my ex partner (and A) and put more boundaries in place. I said to him I'm not going to tel...	mama_nz	2	433	Dec 2, 2006 by Mobirdie
	For my friends that knew Gracie (fatgirl) (Preview) (((friends))) Over the years in chat I've mentioned my "fatgirl" and shared pictures with my friends of my old sweet dog. Sadly, I had to put her down today. She was my constant companion through the years when my A lived on a bar stool. I'm not looking for pity by posting, but more to acknowledge h...	Christy	21	685	Dec 2, 2006 by drucilla06
	Taking Frustrations out on Kids...Advice? Experience? (Preview) I work 4 days a week and every day that I am at work my kids are home alone for about 2 1/2 hours destroying my house. Every night when I get home I am yelling at them because I am so angry that my house is dirty and sometimes when they try to clean it's still never enough. I spend EVERY weekend clea...	carolinagirl	25	841	Dec 2, 2006 by mama_nz
	Filled with Joy & Sadness (Preview) Good Afternoon my MIP Family, I have been out of touch for a few days - I've missed all of you. Can you be filled with Joy & Sadness at the same time? I can. I am. They confirmed that Monday 12/4 our new home will finally be delivered. 15 months after Hurricane Rita dam...	Rita G	5	641	Dec 1, 2006 by Tiger2006
	I just need someone to say "I understand... it will be okay" (Preview) Its just been one of those weeks/ months! I feel as though i'm slowly going insane. I see from these boards that i'm lucky that my A is sober (for now) and in recovery. He's actually doing wonderful! I should be in a state of peace right now, knowing he's okay, and he's working his a$$ off to be well and take c...	BnA2006	17	1373	Dec 1, 2006 by Mom2EB
	How does one deal with something when you dont know what that "something" is? (Preview) Lately I have been struggling with 'something" ,,,,feeling blagh, feeling desparate, feeling lonely altho my family and friends surround me. I cannot pinpoint what the issue is that I should feel this way! I cannot understand why I have to pretend to be happy when I am with them while feeling out of so...	gardengal	7	520	Dec 1, 2006 by Jennifer
	14 yr old grandaughter (Preview) Hi all, Thank you for those of you who responded to my post earlier. Since then, after much thought and prayer, I have taken my grandaughter to live here with me, hubby and other grandaughter. I don't know how things got so bad between her and her mother (my daughter) but they have.&nb...	irish54	8	652	Dec 1, 2006 by irish54
	Chores (Preview) O.k. for the past couple of days we have been posting about frustrations with children and taking anger out on them, and not having clean houses. Well so past couple of nights I have been trying to work one on one with my children in a chore--I tend to expect them to clean or put away whatever I want t...	hudsond	7	397	Dec 1, 2006 by lin0606
	My Insanity (Preview) You know when I first came into the rooms of Alanon a couple of years ago I was one of those that didn't think I had a problem. I didn't think I was the crazy one. My husband was the one who had the problem. In fact, If I were honest with myself, I still could not see how crazy I was until just...	FairyTales	5	394	Dec 1, 2006 by nmike
	martyrdom (Preview) This past Wednesday at the online evening meeting the topic was Martyrdom and humility. I found some of the shares life changing. Of course I have been aware that martyrdom was a huge part in my relationship with the A. I also felt set up in it. And I am only beginning to se...	maresie2	1	438	Dec 1, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Interesting work development (Preview) Sometimes our experiences in living around addiction can be helpful to us in places where we don't necessarily expect it..... I am a manager of a large workforce, and we would certainly have our share of addicts, alcoholics, etc., among the group..... One of the employees almost lost h...	canadianguy	3	502	Dec 1, 2006 by maresie2
	Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (Preview) Well, as recommended by Tiger2006 in my last post, I looked up PAWS which is something I've never heard of before in relation to alcoholism. I must say it was a little unnerving for me. It seems to me that one is a personality thing and the other is a nervous system thing (sorry...	jaja	1	508	Dec 1, 2006 by hudsond
	ALLY OP (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))))))))	ally	11	545	Dec 1, 2006 by kiwi sweetie
	Is it okay to be... DONE???? (Preview) I have been on this post board for a, I think, a week (or maybe a little longer)... I have had some really bad days and then I have had some okay days... though I think today is a blah day for me. I guess today I just want to reflect on the condition of my life at this moment... I received a wonderful res...	Messy	3	502	Dec 1, 2006 by roygbiv
	Question Do we become this way as a reaction or do we attract these people because we are this way? (Preview) I was thinking about this earlier. Thinking about my first marriage to an A and how easily I walked away and didn't look back no guilt, no shame, no bs. Then I developed "loyalty". So my question is do we become this way as a reaction to living in horriffic situations? OR... Do...	carolinagirl	11	632	Dec 1, 2006 by roygbiv
	i think im going crazy (Preview) Hi guys, Ive been on the MIP chat lately and it has been incredible. its such a calming thing for me. My A has been drinking 7 days outof the past 9 days. he thinks it is ok because he isnt abusive, or falling over or passing out... so of course it is me who has the problem. Ive tried my hardest not to figh...	arty	22	780	Dec 1, 2006 by roygbiv
	Any suggestions of websites? (Preview) Hello Everyone, I have been looking for websites that have information on how alcohol affect sanity and experiences of delusional states. Signs to look for, progression, triggers ... really any information. I have been looking for the last few days, tried reading them til my eyes started making...	Jennifer	5	510	Nov 30, 2006 by AndiLynn
	I was delusional, now I will be strong. (Preview) Good morning all, My A son took off to Florida 12 days ago to start fresh with sober friends, job prospects etc. I was so happy to have him far away. I really got my life going. Yesterday he called to say he wants to come back to NY, not to live with us, but he thinks his separated from wife, will buy him and...	laurab	8	621	Nov 30, 2006 by omajoy
	Please help----is this enabling? (Preview) I was just wondering if doing something for my A son that basically has a consequence with it is actually an act of enabling. Here it is: A son still does not have a job. Money has become very tight and this is probably the first month he cannot make his bills. He informed me that he was going to take...	Gailey	6	580	Nov 30, 2006 by kabbie
	alanon----the defunker (Preview) (((roomies)))) thank you all for your posts. I did feel the love from you all. Decided to start my day over yesterday when the funk had set in. Worked on my gratitude list, accepted that I just felt unsettled. Had a talk with hubby about the problem. Said the Serenity Prayer and realized I needed to a...	carosie	1	421	Nov 30, 2006 by Gailey
	higher power has other plans for me (Preview) Today the A was having his usual huge temper tantrums and for once I was not being affected by it which in itself is a miracle. Some person owes him money and it is the end of the world. Life has to be entirely on his terms. I was detaching away there thinking of anything but his ta...	maresie2	5	606	Nov 30, 2006 by Jennifer
	Rough Times (Preview) Hi everyone... Just a note to let you ppls know that I am still thinking about you. And I haven't fallen off the face of the planet. Even though I haven't been around for awhile, you guys have been in my thoughts and prayers. Hard times have hit and I have been extremely overwhelmed. My Grandpa ha...	memeself	8	531	Nov 30, 2006 by hudsond
	Bitterness and Resentment (Preview) Tonight I had to go move the big stuff out of my house that is closing on Thursday. The riding mower, push mower, ladder, etc. My sponsor's husband got volunteered to come help me with his trailer. First off the A was supposed to be staying at the house and I haven't heard from him since Mon. So it's just me a...	carolinagirl	8	574	Nov 30, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Update - Truth - Lies - Manipulation ESH!! (Preview) AH came over for Thanksgiving and was the kind wonderful guy he can be when he really wants something. Sad to say it like that but I think I have been down this road enough times that I am starting to see that things will be good for a while and then regress back to alcoholic hell. I saw another p...	carolinagirl	4	520	Nov 30, 2006 by nmike
	in a funk (Preview) (((roomies))) the last few days have been hard for me for some reason. Not sure what is going on with me. My AH has been sober for over a month now and is in therapy and seeing a therapist, started going to weekly AA meetings. My kids were both here for Thanksgiving. We had a nice time. It was good to see t...	carosie	9	616	Nov 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	MEN IN AL-ANON (Preview) ((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))) I read Davids post today and It got me thinking.(oh no lol). I go to f2f meetings three different ones, I got one man in one of the meetings. He Is Awesome, he has taught me so much about myself, about Al-Anon, the steps, my behavior, my reactions, my resentment...	ally	19	1092	Nov 29, 2006 by CJ
	Separating the man from the disease (Preview) (((((hi Alanon Friends))))) I really needed my f2f meeting tonight but it started snowing. I spent some time over Thanksgiving with my AHsober. My mom invited us to her house for turkey dinner. I told her we both didn't have to come because it seems we are making everyone uncomfortable. I called my H...	nmike	5	511	Nov 29, 2006 by maresie2
	Detachment (Preview) I have often been asked "How do you detach". I did a google search this morning on detachment and found the following article. I found it very insightful and want to share it with you all. I only hope that it will help some of you as much as it has me. The Incredible Shrinking Relativ...	Mobirdie	2	722	Nov 29, 2006 by maresie2
	Getting through the holidays (Preview) I really feel for me the task of getting through the holidays is so so key. After the holidays some of my financial pressures get better. There will always be financial pressures living with an active A. There will always be crisis, he lives them day in day out. Yesterday it was a huge crisis he los...	maresie2	0	407	Nov 29, 2006 by maresie2
	What a difference a year makes... (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) I went to a F2F meeting I had never been to last week on Wednesday, because I missed my regular meeting on Tuesday. I told the folks in there that I appreciated them being there because I needed to bolster up my courage for the holiday. So here is how my holiday went. ...	rtexas	9	524	Nov 29, 2006 by Karilynn
	My experience of reading"Getting them sober I" (Preview) Hello to my real friends whom understand me and they are always there for me...I have had many lonely evenings in the past few weeks which left me very very angry, frustrated and down...i even started having doubts in fellowship as a result of my anger and that I didn't know how to deal with the situation...	Newme	4	537	Nov 29, 2006 by Karilynn
	Customer Service (Preview) What’s the deal with a’s (maybe I shouldn’t generalize, it might just be this one) and customer service? Mine gets lit and gets on the phone with you-name-it company’s cust serv. The poor agents! He’s at it now concerning our printer. He rebukes them if they’re in a foreign country (most of them are in t...	Jill	2	431	Nov 29, 2006 by Karilynn
	How do I handle this? (Preview) (((((everyone))))) Today at my f2f meeting I had an experience that has made me very uneasy. It's been almost 6 hrs ago and I'm still thinking about it. I've been going to this particular f2f meeting for three years and am the treasurer for the group. I love this group.&...	Lunamoth	7	562	Nov 29, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Hurting but growing..... (Preview) (((Everyone))) Hope you all are doing well. Things are fair here, husband almost has 30 days sobriety (on Wed) due to a DUI - he is too afraid I guess to continue drinking. I have been staying home, enjoying the peace - and enjoying him being home for a change. But, things ha...	hersh	6	471	Nov 29, 2006 by Becky1
	deleted by drucilla (Preview) -- Edited by drucilla06 at 02:04, 2006-11-29	drucilla06	0	347	Nov 29, 2006 by drucilla06
	OK I do not get how "One day at a Time" applies to families of alcoholics (Preview) I can see how an addict needs it to just get through a day without drinking, but I don;t see it as very helpful. i mean, I have a life and a family. i need to think about them and their future. One day at a time does not cut it. This is an example of take what you need and leave the rest, for me, as far as Al-Anon...	HereIam	14	673	Nov 28, 2006 by abbyal
	Flooded and greatful (long) (Preview) (((((Family))))), Greetings to my long lost family. It's sooo good to be back. Happy Belated Thanksgiving to all of you. It has been quite the few weeks. A week before Thanksgiving hubby dropped me off at work because it was raining. 20 minutes later he called me and told me to...	Karilynn	13	565	Nov 28, 2006 by lebe27
	God bless the children of A's!!! (Preview) My son's children are only 4 and 6 but my dil still has to deal with their concerns about why daddy doesn't live with them anymore. It is hard for her to try to explain things to them as my son could never get into those conversations with them. dil and myself have told him not to promise the girls anythi...	Gailey	2	480	Nov 28, 2006 by MrBlue42
	the other shoe is dropping.....help!!! (Preview) Just got finished with a long IM conversation with my other dil. She is married to my son who is in the Navy. They live about 4.5 hours away from us in Norfolk, VA. She is from Japan and really knows nothing about Alanon or dealing with aism. I told her that I would help her to understand things that she n...	Gailey	7	586	Nov 28, 2006 by Christy
	Good Times and Good Fun... an update (Preview) (((MIP Family))) I have not been able to post until today since I don't have a computer at home. Thanksgiving was a good time. Lots of people and lots of food. Everyone had a great time. The wedding on Friday was beautiful. Everything went according to plan and was v...	twinmom2	5	478	Nov 28, 2006 by maresie2
	children in denial (Preview) This weekend two of my four children told me that my attendance at Alaon meetings was not helping. I told them it was helping me cope but unfortunately they see their father getting worse. My oldest went so far as to say he didn’t believe in that sh--. He thinks we need marriage couns...	Elizabeth M	7	588	Nov 28, 2006 by Maria123
	detaching really helps (Preview) Thanksgiivng was pretty brutal for me but I made it through. I ended up with an enormous headache which may have been sinus or migraine that went on for days. I worked super hard not to go into super toxic resentment with the A. I have to admit it was hard going but I kept at it....	maresie2	0	344	Nov 28, 2006 by maresie2
	Revelation! (Preview) I was reading a story in Time magazine online about how we are afraid of things we shouldn't be and ignore the things we should.... and I got to this paragraph and it answered a question for me that I had been pondering about why I left so easily the first time and how we tolerate such unbearable circumstan...	carolinagirl	1	480	Nov 28, 2006 by barisax
	losing compassion for the A today (Preview) If you read my other post titled "God bless the children of A's...................... well....he did not go!!!! I am just about losing it today. I seem to be able to be compassionate until it comes to him letting down my granddaughters. I have 1 more hour here at work and can barely hold back th...	Gailey	1	430	Nov 28, 2006 by carolinagirl
	AAAlanon ManWoman MarsVenus Etc. (Preview) You know, recent postings bring together some thoughts I've had and rather than respond on the individual threads, I thought I'd try to summarize my thoughts a bit. We've had recent threads on AAs in Alanon, Men in Alanon, and some very graphic descriptions of "male" behavior at its worst. Alcoh...	barisax	3	502	Nov 28, 2006 by carolinagirl
	How quickly we forget!!! (Preview) I was just reading over some of my posts from two weeks ago when my life was in turmoil. Am I so desperate for kindness that upon receiving just a little I forgive and forget all the hell I have been put thru. By the way he signed the papers for the house when he came for Thanksgiving! He s...	carolinagirl	6	552	Nov 28, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Accepting what is (Preview) Today is a good day. The past 3 months have been good months. My ah has been sober for 3 and 1/2 months. My ex-husband is working in India for close to 9 months--so I haven't had to shuffle the kids back and forth. I have a new position at my school--less work same pay. We ar...	hudsond	4	468	Nov 28, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Update on grandaughter/daughter who lost husband/father in June (Preview) Hi, A lot of new people have joined our family here and I say WELCOME to all!!! I won't rehash all of my story, but I do have an update and request ESH and prayers. My son in law was killed in a car wreck June 1st... 3 days before his daughter's 14th birthday. Since then things have been a c...	irish54	1	423	Nov 28, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	I am sooooo self-conscious! (Preview) Here I go again back down into a small slump. I'm not exactly sure why since my AH is being nice and we are getting along fine now. Of course that's because we are not actually living under the same roof. But he comes over every day to visit, calls at least once a day, and makes sure stuff...	jaja	3	623	Nov 28, 2006 by carolinagirl
	just needed to talk (Preview) (((((((((friends)))))))))) I am not good at posting here, just try to answer some posts. I am still a "veteren"........lol. Anway, I am fighting depression and so much sadness and thought maybe I could just get my thoughts out here and hopefully help me to feel better. My hu...	Lexie	15	642	Nov 28, 2006 by mel123
	LOOKING FOR EVIE (Preview) (((((((((((((((((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))	ally	0	547	Nov 28, 2006 by ally
	memeself (Preview) Has anyone seen or heard from memeself???? If you don't want to post the information, please private message me. I'd like to tell her that I am thinking of her and her beautiful Smiley and hope things are ok with her health. Thanks, Maria123	Maria123	0	344	Nov 27, 2006 by Maria123
	what is my part in it? (warning...kinda long...lol) (Preview) Today I went on a wonderful power walk, on my usual route. I often see this girl I know from AA (she's also at my Alanon meetings) around the lake where I walk. I'll call her "E" for the sake of this post, so as not to break her anonymity. E usually walks along with me whenever we see eac...	lmt123	3	573	Nov 27, 2006 by twinkie
	Carolinagirl! (Preview) Haven't seen you on the board for a few days... is everything okay?	artygirl	1	353	Nov 27, 2006 by carolinagirl
	WHAT DID YOU "UNLEARN" WHEN YOU CAME INTO ALANON?? (Preview) For me I learned that things may not be as they seem,,thus I learned not to jump to conclusions, like I had always done in various areas of my life. The alcoholic had made me to the point where I didnt trust anyone anymore,including close friends and family members, so slowly I learned to trust again. I th...	gardengal	11	1099	Nov 27, 2006 by Karilynn
	Update on my situation...... (Preview)	Rebecca	2	432	Nov 27, 2006 by snoopy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.