The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My son's children are only 4 and 6 but my dil still has to deal with their concerns about why daddy doesn't live with them anymore. It is hard for her to try to explain things to them as my son could never get into those conversations with them.
dil and myself have told him not to promise the girls anything for fear of him not following through. If he decides to go and see them it should only be discussed with dil. If he follows through then it is a surprise for the girls. He has this problem of offering them instant gratification (usually when he's had a few) and tells them of him coming to see them. Last night was one of those times and he told them he would come to see them tomorrow (today).
How did dil handle this? she sat them down when they got off the phone and explained to them to remember daddy is sick and sometimes he says things but does not do them. My sweet little 6 year old said..."I know mommy...he MIGHT come tomorrow".
God bless my little sweeties and my dil. I do hope one day when they are older that dil might get them involved in Alateen. She does not do Alanon but is very happy that I am and knows it is helping me alot.
I agree Gail. I have a 4 year old son. My ex who is an alcoholic is not an everyday part of his life. Sadly at times, she may go weeks without any contact. So i too have to sometimes keep things she says to myself because i never know if she will follow through or not. I do know that for my son at least, that he loves his mommy very much. That is if he sees her 4 days in a row or goes 2 weeks without seeing her. A young childs love is an amazing thing. I just try to do my best to keep her promises for this and that away from him to spare him the disappointments. God bless the children....as one old song goes....the closest thing to heaven is a child.
