Hi,

A lot of new people have joined our family here and I say WELCOME to all!!!

I won't rehash all of my story, but I do have an update and request ESH and prayers.

My son in law was killed in a car wreck June 1st... 3 days before his daughter's 14th birthday.  Since then things have been a complete turmoil.  My son in law had worked in the oil fields for years and drugs and alcohol are all a big part of that lifestyle.  My daughter was in the middle of all that with him.  Since the death, my daughter started seeing someone and she and my grandaughter have not got along at all.  My grandaughter was already so full of anger to her parents for the drugs and drinking taking preference over her in their lives and now her dad's gone and she feels like she's losing her mom to another man ... all in such a short time.

She and her mom cannot stay in the same house for any length of time before they are screaming and fighting with each other.  They have even come to blows.

My daughter seemed to just cut us out of their lives after his death, choosing her drug and drinking "friends" instead.  Then she called just before Thanksgiving and said she and grandaughter were coming for dinner.  They live about an hour away.  Well they did show up that afternoon and we had a nice Thanksgiving day meal.   Then that evening my daughter said she needed to go home and take care of something and she'd be back later that evening.  She did finally show back up just about bedtime.  That was Thursday ... then yesterday again, she said she needed to go home and spend some time alone because today would have been their 13th anniversary. So of course the grandaughter has stayed here.  I am trying to understand, and I do understand that the date of their anniversary would be hard, but I am like my grandaughter, in feeling that we would love to be there for her.  Instead, she goes to the drug and drinking buddies for "comfort". 

Anyway, my grandaughter is practically begging us to stay with us and transfer to school here.  Her grades are bad in her school and there has been no family life at all.  She's been going from one friend to another staying with them since she and her mom can't get along.  She had a counselor at school but my daughter's version of that was: "That didn't work cause she just put on this big act like she just wanted her mom at home so they could spend some time together and she didn't like the guy her mom was seeing.  That's just an act cause she doesn't really want to be around me."    My grandaughter's version is: "It helped but mom was supposed to join with the counseling and she wouldn't show up most of the time."

After seeing my daughter this week I notice it seems like her mind is racing a hundred miles an hour, she can't sit still or concentrate on anything and is always "antsy".  Even though she did come over Thursday, with her trips back home , leaving her daughter here, in total she may have actually spent 3 hours with us.

My grandaughter so badly wants to stay here and go to school, and she does know other kids here because we have had her here before.  The thing is, I am not so young anymore, and I have one grandaughter already that I have had since a baby and she is a Senior this year.  I so want to help my other grandaughter any way I can.  I honestly am just not sure I am able to do this health wise.  I am so afraid the way things seem to be with her mom though that my grandaughter is definitely totally lost if we don't help her.  She's 14 and that's a hard age anyway even without all she's gone through.

Thanks to all my "family" here for any ESH.

Love and Hugs,

Irish

 P.S.  For any not familiar with the story, and would like some background , my user profile will show previous postings I have started in the past that sheds a little more light on the subject.