The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to a F2F meeting I had never been to last week on Wednesday, because I missed my regular meeting on Tuesday. I told the folks in there that I appreciated them being there because I needed to bolster up my courage for the holiday.
So here is how my holiday went. My 2 boys went hunting on wednesday, they had a blast. The 11 year old and I cooked thanksgiving diner at our home on turkey day. Played football in the yard and watched it on TV. Had a great time.
Friday we went over to my AW's apartment and watched the A&M vs tu game and had good food and fellowship with her and her folks.
Saturday son and I went to my folks house and had ham and all the sides you could stuff down. Played croquet and laughed at each other till we were nearly sick. Had a great time.
Sunday... whipped out the chrismas decorations and made the house glow. LOL (We have a lot of lights!) Son went with AW and MIL to see "Happy Feet" and got home in time for the great lighting of the lights. Winterized the boat, 1'st freeze coming this week and did some other handy man stuff. Had a very productive day.
Looking back on it... it was a very sucessful weekend.
Here is where you guys come in... Here is what I didn't do this holiday weekend. Didn't get stressed when AW wouldn't come eat the meal son and I cooked on thanksgiving day, didn't get into the debate with AW when she was hitting me with the "guilt 2x4" on friday night for going home after the get together at her apartment with her folks. She started drinking during the football game and I just didn't want to stay and verbally wrestle with her. Didn't feel bad when she refused to go to my parents to eat, or feel guilty that we got back into town too late to really do anything else to entertain her. She decided not to go and got bored... I guess I would have too.
Didn't feel guilt for not going to the movie all afternoon on Sunday instead of making sure the house could take the freeze coming this week. It's hard to do all that stuff after dark when I get home from work.
Last year, things went better than this if you take everything into account, and I was worn to a frazzle. My nerves were shot. I remember hanging lights last year thinking "what a cluster for thanksgiving".
I thank my HP every day for this program and all those in it, and for all those who need it and haven't found it yet.
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Wow, sounds like you are really doing things for you! Thanks for the positive post. It is so nice to hear of progress in dealing with our guilt, the guilt we feel is so big it can overpower our day, I think! It is nice that you are working with it and not feeling it as much as last year.
Isn't this program a blessing? Good you are checking out other meetings also, that is really good. Each meeting seems to have its own "flavor" and feel.
I am so glad you are laughing also, with your son! It is too bad that all of us, whether living with an A or not, have lost the pure joy of laughter in our lives! It is such a pleasure and a free, small thing to do, and none of us have enough of it. Kids do that, bring out some simple joy in life!!!
Thanks for your help always, and I pray for you and your family...
It is so wonderful that your family can still be together at times...even in the midst of your wife's own chaos. You have set the boundaries for yourself to leave when something is happening that you just don't want to be a part of. That is so wonderful. AW still knows that you are there for her if she chooses recovery and the kids know that you love their mother unconditionally.
I hope you have a blessed Christmas with your family.
Sounds like you had a great Holiday with lots of good food, family, and laughs. Just how it should be. Glad to see that you took what you liked and left the rest for AW to deal with. You have definitely come along way and it shows. I think that is the hardest part in dealing with the A is the guilt that they like to heap on other's to make themselves feel better. Way to go in detaching with love. You were able to enjoy her up to a point and when she got a little too intense for you, you detached lovingly and removed yourself from the situation. I think if that was the next right thing for you to do then you did it well. So happy for you that you are feeling better and healthier. It will just keep getting better from here.
Hugs,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
(((rtexas)))) Great! You are an inspiration to all of us! I looked at where I was a year ago, after reading your post, and I sure do not look like I did last year, either! Alanon has sure put a shine on me! I'm glowing like Christmas lights! LOL
I plan to come here as much as possible during the hectic days ahead. I NEED Alanon to stay sane (well, GET sane-er, that is!)
So thankful for this site, the chat, all of you here.
Woohoo! Good for you! Glad you had a great time with your family. Hope the hunting was successful. Nothing like good venison on the table. Now if you would like to come up here and help me with the lights, I'd be greatful. I'm sure the house looks great! Happy Belated Thanksgiving to you all.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Good for you! 