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PRAYERS FOR LIAM'S FAMILY
(Preview)
((((((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))))) I posted a few months ago, asking for prayers for Liam. Liam is 18 years old and was suffering fom cancer for the last four years. Sadly Liam passed away this morning. He was a lovely, genourous, well mannered boy. He had a big future ahead of him. This some...
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ally
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15
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754
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Getting a little better
(Preview)
I don't want to jump to conclusions, but things are looking up. After spending a week with my now unemployed A (AND NO CAR!!) I hit the streets and started filling out job applications; I have been out of work for a while and all my references are out of state. The economy here is pretty slow so I was app...
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RainyJamie
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1
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341
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new here..need some direction
(Preview)
my husband (the a) and I have been married close to ten years and we have two small children. He has been an a for as long as I've known him. I finally have had enough of watching him slowly destroy himself and his family. My children are finally old enough to undersand his behavior and now I am the one fe...
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mandy
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7
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465
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Words of Wisdom Maya Angelou
(Preview)
In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday Maya Angelou said this: "I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow." "I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/s...
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kerry5
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9
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626
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thanks
(Preview)
Thank you all for your kindness...your words have helped me remember the calm and happy part of my soul....your words and a good nights sleep, baking muffins, and watching the beautiful sunrise. i know i'll make it....just wish i could be making it a little better....oh i am so greedy :) lol!
love yo...
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Fifi
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1
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239
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Riding My Bike1
(Preview)
Riding my Bike! When my life had become unmanageable and my husband had started to bring all and Sundry home for me to sleep with, I got mad and made a plan, I would learn to ride a motorbike and ride off into the sunset with the first man that would have me, in my mind that was a good idea because I thought hel...
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Katy
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5
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533
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Intervention for my AH??
(Preview)
So today is day 6 that my AH has been missing on this latest binge. His mom is worried to death about him. Me, well, I just don't give a damn. Is that wrong? I mean I do but I don't, ya know? I watch his credit card transactions and see that he is still at it but other than that, nothing. As the d...
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QOD
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11
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500
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If only his problems would disappear with him!
(Preview)
I was just thinking........Ok, so I don't care any more that my AH is gone. Life seems more peaceful at home without him. The kids seem more at ease. Not that he is violent or aggressive at home....b/c he is not. Usually he is just sleeping, or watching tv. Once in a while he gets pissed b/c he fee...
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QOD
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8
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446
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Diva! Do you have knotts in your stomach?
(Preview)
.......is it Bad, Bad Bill time? Ziggy
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ZiggyDoodles
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8
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632
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I think I ruined recovery for him
(Preview)
Wow I had no idea how long this would get. If you wnt the cliff notes version, I highlighted in bold. This is something that has weighed on my mind from the beginning. He was clean for 10+ years when we met. Ampetamines were more of an issue for him. He left a long term relationship to be with me. He was with he...
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RainyJamie
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11
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650
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Understanding step one
(Preview)
This is a total God story that happened to me the other day that most al-anons will relate to, so I hope you can get something from it. I was driving my car one day, I had my two children in the back strapped into their carseats. I turned onto a side street and as I drove up the street a truck to my left caught m...
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Moon
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6
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900
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Detachment for us...
(Preview)
((friends)) In last night's meeting someone said Detachment for us is like not drinking is for the A. Wow really got me thinking. A has not been drinking this time since Thanksgiving and I have been trying to detach. This has been going on for both of us for sometime with many relapses. I notice...
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lebe27
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3
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373
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idle hands are the devil's tools
(Preview)
my grandmother used to tell me.......,' ''idle hands are the devils tools''. i am thinking today, ''uh huh she is right.'' i won't make it to face to face meeting tonight. after i finish typing this i will probably go lay down. i have spent the past few days...
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jewely
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2
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464
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I thought I had detached, but I was still enabling
(Preview)
I thought I had mastered detachment because I was doing so well emotionally. Well I guess I had detached emotionally, but I was still taking care of (controlling) everything. I took care of all the bills and the cleaning and shopping and care of our child. I was letting him doing his thing and not gettin...
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babysteps
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2
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706
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Newbie Alert***
(Preview)
Hi all...in a nutshell, my H and I have been married x 17 years, we have 3 wonderful sons ages 9,12 & 17...he dropped bomb last March saying that he could no longer handle the pressures of marriage, kids, home etc...found out 2 mos later he moved into a trailor with a female bartender that works at the...
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kellygirl
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11
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662
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Are you the catepillar or the butterfly?
(Preview)
To render ourselves insensible to pain we must forfeit also the possibilities of happiness. --Sir John Lubbock A caterpillar knows instinctively that it must spin a cocoon. When finished it will use the protection it has made to turn itself into a beautiful butterfly. When the time is right, the but...
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Tiger2006
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1
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462
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Feeling a little down...
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners, Well, with relationships it seems like they all go to hell at the same time. I know I have a part in it but hopefully my 4th step inventory will show me where I go astray. It has been a year and half since my AHsober moved out. The holidays were ok and actually fun but I just can't see us getti...
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nmike
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6
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386
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the 10 of you who wrote about my sisters DEATH
(Preview)
Just wanted to thankyou for those who wrote me, although not alot like I see some get for deaths, it meant a great deal to me as a new member. I dont chat room, cant write fast enough to reply (remember Im very disabled person)and cannot use my dragon speaker much right now due to only half a diaphragm. I app...
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my sister
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15
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568
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Found some answers.....
(Preview)
Thanks Alanoners for your responses to my down day. Sometimes I need a little jump start with perspective. In another post abbyal referred to ODAT July 14. So being the good codependent that I am and read July 16 by mistake. Boy, did that ever apply to me. Oops, then I realized that I had read the wrong pag...
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nmike
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2
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403
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Another Grandchild affected by the disease
(Preview)
so while i was off work i found out that our oldest daughter, Ashley is expecting again. She's about 8 wks along, not in a program of recovery, she has already lost custody of her other 2 children, 3 abortions, the father of the baby is abusive, not supporting his other children that he has with m...
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Rita G
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6
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526
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Katy's Journey to find happiness!
(Preview)
My journey to happiness, it’s not something that fell into my lap complete, I had to earn it, and once I grasped the knowledge, the tools I needed to facilitate my power, my will over situations, I found just as I had become expert on self pity and control, I could learn to become an expert on happiness.Oh...
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Katy
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1
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557
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What I have learned that saved my life
(Preview)
((((((((Friends)))))))))), Alcoholism is only one of the symptoms of other underlying "issues" going on. Of late, I have been reading many of my own stories in yours and many of my friends feeling like everything is their fault. Abuse takes many forms. There's physical, emotio...
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Maria123
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12
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613
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The Extraterrestrial
(Preview)
I don't hate my ex-wife. I don't wish anything bad on her, I even pray for her on occasion. I am really not involved in her life at all - I bump into her maybe twice a year while doing things with the kids, and that's about it. What's always interesting about those "bumps" i...
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barisax
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3
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351
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Daughter turned 18
(Preview)
Hi Family, Well, my daughter (grandaughter I've had since a baby) turned 18 yesterday. I sure have had some mixed feelings, but guess that's normal. The fact that she left my home in Dec. shortly before Christmas, as most will remember, make it a little harder to deal with in some ways.....m...
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irish54
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6
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481
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Can I throttle my parents yet?
(Preview)
Can I throttle my parents yet? Seriously. One of the things we learn in recovery is that, if we are willing to go to any lengths and throughly practice this program, we will see results in the most dire and darkest of situations. Well, *cue Gomer Pyle* Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Mom called Satu...
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Tiger2006
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8
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493
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Got options?
(Preview)
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. -- Seneca When we reach a stressful time in our lives, our vision gets narrow. We fail to see the options and possibilities we have. If we give ourselves over to our worries and fears, our sight c...
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Tiger2006
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2
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359
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Think this is sooooooo nice!
(Preview)
"Everyone Can't Be in Your Front Row" Life is a theatre - invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a front row seat in your life. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can ac...
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Katy
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0
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280
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I think I've lost that loving feeling
(Preview)
My AH and I have been together for 5yrs now. He is an active alcoholic and a crack addict. We have split up and gotten back together so many times that I have lost count. I know if nothing changes nothing changes. This last time, even though he is still actively drinking, I thought things would be di...
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FairyTales
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5
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419
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Need to Vent
(Preview)
I just need to get this stuff off my chest so that I can be done with it. My Ah has been on a bender for the last 8 days. We work in a very deadline oriented business and he has basically just pretended he doesn't have a job. Then suddenly BOOM, he has no choice but to cram a month's worth of work in to a we...
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babysteps
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1
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358
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dealing with marty
(Preview)
this is the hard one is dealing with my self,trying to make other love me and i have no luck at it,i know i need to love my self before i can love other how do you love your self and selfesteem and self worth all come in to play do you think i be better off going to f2f meeting than on line do we have on line sponcer s...
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marty
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6
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411
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Am I losing it??!
(Preview)
Other post called 'He won't leave me alone' has the background details to this: I'm going out of my mind right now -I called the police on my ex and they didn't believe me and called me paranoid. My ex has been saying he wants a relationship with me still and said he had stopped and...
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mama_nz
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9
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457
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Al-Anon Wiggle
(Preview)
Okay, I tried to get this to work properly on the message board and it just rawled my nerves, so I'm going to provide a link to it, which is on our site... Turn your speakers on and enjoy my table dance for you fine folks. John (aka OP_Present) http://www.12stepforums.net/misc/babydance.html
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John
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5
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524
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Small update
(Preview)
Although I'm here almost everyday reading the post, responding to some, I haven't posted in a while and thought I should update you a bit. I am doing great, I can't tell people enough how much my counseling I had to go through and my posting here, reading here, and focusing on me has helped....
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marmare
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3
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299
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Escaping Addiction
(Preview)
I watched a Dr Phil special last night called 'Escaping Addiction' about an alcoholic husband & wife who had 3 kids, one of whom has to be on a ventilator due to muscular disability. I was shocked and disgusted by the sheer lack of consideration for their children, and selfishness. The...
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mama_nz
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3
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342
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ENCOURAGEMENT NEEDED FOR NEW MEMBERS
(Preview)
((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))) I love the atmosphere in the chatroom, I love the way everyone is like a big family. It has been a lifesaver for me, and loads of other members. Over the last few weeks I have noticed we are receiving a lot of new members. Which is brilliant. But one thing has been bothering...
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ally
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7
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567
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Detachment Examples?
(Preview)
Since we seem to have a lot of new members I thought some ideas about detachment might be helpful.
One of the most difficult things for me to comprehend when I came to Alanon was detachment. Detachment is not just not speaking to the A about what they do or ignoring them.. It is more to do with getting i...
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Christy
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11
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3972
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i am pleasantly surprised......i feel good today
(Preview)
i am pleasantly surprised. i feel good today. physically, i think i may have to go to the doctor tomorrow and get checked from the impact of hitting the deer.[ something doesn't feel right in my back and neck.....ouch] but, emotionally, i am well. clear headed and greatful. thanks to all of you who...
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jewely
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2
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240
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Can I just talk. New here.
(Preview)
Ive been reading your site since December. I lost the last person I loved to Alcohol ,my sister, my nephew was murdered one month before, this all happened this winter. Im not here as someone who is living with an A, she is gone now to be with God. Im criticly ill with progressive Brain illness and spinal i...
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my sister
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11
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615
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Is the food in the county jail really that good?
(Preview)
Hi all, This has been an extremely long week for me. There are so many changes at work do to the feds changing how we do business at my work. I work for an agency that has contracts with DSHS (Department of Social and Health Services) and to help TANF (Temporary Assistacne to Needy Families) participants...
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Dolphin123
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8
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530
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Cheering an ending and a beginning
(Preview)
This morning I picked my Awife up from the rehab center and put her on the plane for Florida, and her recovery community.
I cannot describe the joy I felt driving home. No more worrying about her relapsing, no more fear of how badly my kids are being neglected, no more lies, no more fighting no more HER....
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wbfox58
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5
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496
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is it possible to ever get the love back again?
(Preview)
As you all know, my A left me 7 months ago and is proceeding with a divorce. I do not want this, but there is nothing I can do about it. I just have one question. I have been reading about people who have stopped loving their spouse, and I'm wondering if you can ever get that love back once it is gone? Y...
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snoopy
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6
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445
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not doing SOMETHING right
(Preview)
(sigh) My AH is a binge drinker, and this week, I figured that it was about that time again. I was right. He makes it look like its all business-related and "necessary"....it's such a challenge to watch the denial....and stay in my happy place. I was proud that I had gotten myself to t...
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DeeDee
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7
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397
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Plan B
(Preview)
Someone asked in another post "what is this Plan B I keep hearing about?" and I thought that might be a good thing to talk about. For me, my Plan B's were always pretty low key and practical - if he doesn't show up to give me a ride to the dentist's office, how will I get there? - that...
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lin0606
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4
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580
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update and miss you guys
(Preview)
dearest family, first I will get this off my chest, that and the hay that went down there when I fed the horses... gads I want to volunteer here very badly, but for some reason I am being forgotten. Done my best to give it to hp, I know I cannot control anyone but me. I love the powers that be ,here. It is not ju...
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debilyn
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6
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442
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Give me Courage God!
(Preview)
I called this morning and found two face to face AL-Anon meetings not to far from me and in the daytime. I live in a huge crime filled city in Florida and I am scared to drive around here at night and I can't depend on my AH to drive me to them for many reasons. Anyway, if I'm going to do this, I'm g...
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Wilted
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6
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475
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Learning to trust?
(Preview)
I'm new here. I've read many posts, but finally today, I decided to register. I've been realizing I need help, but mostly too angry to get it. This past Christmas, I broke off an engagement with my A. He is also the father of my 4-year-old daughter. The first couple of weeks were unbea...
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HowToSaveALife
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11
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528
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How are we suppose to work on us....
(Preview)
How are we suppose to work on us when our situations are not alanon related? I have health issues and family issues way different from others. They seem to not fit into the talk that is normally going on during open chat. What is the proper way to start up the conversation that is unrelated to the alcoholi...
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Serenity
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7
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478
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Life kinda sucks right now
(Preview)
I haven't been able to post or check in because my A is not working and sits at the computer all day. Things have not been going well. Our car needs work that isn't even going to start untill monday. It will be expensive and take at least another week. My husband drives the thing for a living, so he...
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RainyJamie
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7
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1858
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Breaking it Off
(Preview)
Hi Group~
I'm so upset right now. After 2 years, I broke things off with my A. He's been spiraling and I finally had to put an end to this after getting an email at 4:15 yesterday morning telling me he was breaking up with me and he was depressed and suicidal. He text-messaged me to re...
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SerenityGirl
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5
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340
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i know now why i hit the deer.......
(Preview)
i know now why i hit the deer........., i am not blaming anyone, but, upon reflection, i can see that i was exhausted that night. canadian guy mentioned in one of his posts about keeping things bottled up, i do that. i come from a family where you ''don't tell, don't say anything ,and m...
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jewely
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7
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563
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when your husband sleeps with the town whore
(Preview)
Eureka!!! I think I may have finally hit rock bottom. Yipee Kai ee MF. Thank you God!!! I have been waiting for this day for 7 months and even tho it is so painful that I wanted to die, I now realize that my AH is nothing more than a narcissistic, selfish, self centered, son of a bitch. Whew!! That felt rea...
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snoopy
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8
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3697
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It's a beautiful day in SA
(Preview)
As always, I am thinking about friends here on MIP, and I wish all of you a beautiful day today. Now, got to get back to planting my new rose bushes. Roses are such joyous flowers. They have given me pleasure all of my life. Got a Queen Elizabeth and two climbing Peace. Love to all, ..· ´¨...
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Diva
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7
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509
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He'll be dead within a few months. I've seen it before.
(Preview)
My ah's face is red and swollen. So it's only a matter of time. This is what happend to my best friend a few months before she passed away. :( There is nothing I can do from over here. It's so hard to sit and wait for someone to die. There is no other end to this story then his death. He will not come...
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Friendofyours
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7
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555
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help
(Preview)
I need a meeting. I have a three year old and no childcare, so I am at home. She is bouncing off the walls and I am in pain. Her dad is locked up. Has been there since July. It isn't the first time. I have wasted thousands of dollars on an attorney. Pay for collect calls that I can hardly afford and a...
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Leetle
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9
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564
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Hubby's journey..
(Preview)
I spent a whole lot of time complaining about my A so now that his first year of sobriety is approaching I think he deserves some Kudos. Firstly, making it for a year is huge. That in itself makes me beam with pride. That good looking sober guy is my husband! *beams* He's accomplished so much this year, mor...
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Christy
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18
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587
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After five months of rehab now what will happen?
(Preview)
Hello all My partner will be coming home after five months of rehab and I have no idea how things will be for us. I have so many questions and don't know where to begin. Does anyone have any advice to offer please? We have known each other 17 years but only been trying to have a relationship for two ye...
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Marianne
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9
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562
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Kindness (a poem I am reminded of by my contact here)
(Preview)
I was given a copy of this by a dear friend and felt so reminded of these words by my contact on this site. Thank you all for your kindness. Kindness Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth. What you held in your hand, wh...
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Marianne
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1
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332
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wild geese
(Preview)
Here is a poem I just responded to a post with , and as I typed it, I felt I wanted to send it everyone.Not sure if it will align properly as I type it, but here goes. Wild Geese by Mary Oliver You do not have to be good...You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting...
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Fifi
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3
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356
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Went on a date with an A in AA
(Preview)
I posted about being asked to dinner by an A...and thanks to all for wonderful insight. I did have dinner with him last night. I kept my program close in my pocket. He brought his to dinner as well. We had a perfectly lovely evening, talking, comparing parenting notes, movies, etc. He talked at length...
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kicky
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2
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440
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Why do alcoholics keep choosing same kind of people?
(Preview)
I am the mother of a recoverying drugaddict/alcoholic who keeps choosing the same kind of boyfriends. She is involved in AA and is getting counseling and trying so hard to change. Yet, she keeps choosing to date the same kind of guys that hurt her and were very bad for her. Sure some say her "picker...
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Serenity
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7
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776
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