The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This morning I picked my Awife up from the rehab center and put her on the plane for Florida, and her recovery community. I cannot describe the joy I felt driving home. No more worrying about her relapsing, no more fear of how badly my kids are being neglected, no more lies, no more fighting no more HER.
I fervently hope that she is able to build a new life for herself in Fla...she's very good looking, and my hope is she'll find some wealthy widower with a LOT of patience who will help her build a new life. I spoke with both kids today and they share my enthusiasm.
I could not have done this without what I've learned at al-anon. Detatchment...the 3 c's..taking care of YOURSELF, Terrific advice, and I use it every minute of every day.
My kids and I obviously hope she'll do well, and are rooting for her, but sometimes an A's behavior has a fatal effect on the family. That is what happened in our case. Yet we feel no guilt, we are trying very hard to re-focus on the three of us, on building a new normal family relationship as normalcy is the one thing that's always been absent, because of the A's behavior.
Sometimes, the marriage doesn't survive. That doesn't mean we don't care and want her to get well, it simply means that we have chosen as a unit to move on. For those of you struggling with a similar decision, I can tell you that it IS an option, one that has saved me and my kids.
What a powerful share, beautifully spoken. I hear love, health and hope for you and your children. I realize you've accomplished what many never have the courage to do. Congratulations for getting better yourself.
wb, i'm so proud that you have found some happiness. even more proud that you were able to use the tools you've found here and in Al-anon to not only detach, but evidently, detach with love. may your HP look down on the life you have and smile.
brightest blessings, brother cj
__________________
time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
Good news - it's sad when a marriage ends, but good when a person makes a decision to have a better life. I hope you stay with the program - many of us find that we leave one A just to go out and get ourselves another one. The self analysis that is such a big part of this program can help you grow so that you avoid that.
That is such good news and I'm so glad you have shared it here. So often we read about our fellow posters staying in difficult relationships,I'm not making judgements but I know each of us has to leave when we are ready so I'm glad that you shared your story. I've left my husband to and although the journey will be hard I understand the hope and elation you feel. I to feel like the first time in 20 years I do have a future and a life of happiness to look forward to - isn't it wonderful. God Bless you and your family.
