The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I watched a Dr Phil special last night called 'Escaping Addiction' about an alcoholic husband & wife who had 3 kids, one of whom has to be on a ventilator due to muscular disability. I was shocked and disgusted by the sheer lack of consideration for their children, and selfishness. The were truly, truly sick: some of the things described: while drunk the husband has fallen asleep in the bath with one of the children, fallen asleep and nearly crushed one of the children, crashed through the shower door causing the son to think he was dead, stumbles around, standing on his son's ventilator... he grabs his wife by the hair and drags her around, blacks out and can't remember what he did... Both the husband & wife drive drunk and the wife got into an accident while the kids were in the car. While the disabled son was in hospital his heart stopped 7 times and the mother was in the bathroom chugging a beer and went to the liquor store to get a vodka as soon as she could leave the hospital. Through all that she would tell Dr Phil what was going through her head was that she thought she wasn't drunk, and it was 'only a few', including when she would drive drunk. Dr Phil sent them to a top notch rehab clinic, and *2* days after returning home the wife relapses. Then she gets arrested for drunkenly molesting the airline flight attendants on the filight over to see Dr Phil for a recap. My blood was boiling watching this. Through all of it: WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?? Both the parents are drunk, they met when they were drunk, they found they didn't even know each other when they were in rehab because they've never know each other sober -they were on the verge of divorce.
I would have to think that the purpose of the focus on the parents was to have them receive help, because unless they can the children will continue to suffer. It brings to mind again how baffeling, cunning and powerful this disease is. There are many of us on the Al-Anon side of the disease who wasn't the greatest of parent's either. I know for myself that because of stuffing so many emotions my rage became my ism. I would be unpredictible and unreasonable. This is a family disease and the family does indeed suffer the affects and these affects come in many shapes and sizes. Fortunately we have this awesome program and have been able to join it's ranks through the grace of our Higher Power. Sometimes we have to be careful with information and how we preceive it. Hence our senerity prayer. Knowledge without wisdom = insanity & judgement, neither which leads to our progress and recovery. Knowledge with widsom = power. The power to love those who are unlovable, the power to set and keep good boundaries, the power to help without judging. Let's pray that this couple can get and keep recovery.
