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Chaos has subsided for now....learning more about me
(Preview)
Well, I know that my posts are very confusing sometimes, probably because I am confused so much all the time. I think this one begins with me. I am starting to see that by not naggin about the A's drinking he has more time to think about it himself. sometimes I do slip and say things he has done that has h...
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hippietrippiechick
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4
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450
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the outreached comforting hand of al anon
(Preview)
I had an experience at a f2f mtg that ... well ... writing a bit about it here clarified it for me. But I don't think I'll post about it. It is a bit of a gray area of whether to post or not. But as discretion is often the better part of valor, I'll just say: I hope the person will keep coming back...
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emma
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3
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277
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progress & slippery slope backsliding
(Preview)
So, I thought I was doing well enough to start allowing my ex (A) and father of my son back into my life a little more, he'd come over here for dinner and spend time with our son and we'd take our son out on weekends together. He says the drinking and associated bad behaviours is over. But I still d...
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mama_nz
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2
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905
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Letting go of pain shall create freedom
(Preview)
Hello everyone. Here is a poem I wrote before al-Anon. it is dark and dismal but with your help and my own and my HP I feel I am heading for the freedom I have longed for. I just wanted to share this. To me Sunshinedt I wanted it to say that although we feel we start out in fear and pain there is freedom like the do...
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DT1221
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0
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353
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Hurt But Not Angry
(Preview)
Hi all, Its been a tough few weeks for me. Theres something changed in me. The way i deal with things. Things do happen and i get down about it, however its just not the end of the world anymore. I dont feel so panicky now, when things are rough. Which feels very strange in new territory. I also dont stay down...
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kerry5
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2
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405
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trust
(Preview)
My husband has been clean since Friday. Before he got clean he was lying to me all the time, disappearing for an hour and a half. Then on wednesday he told me that he was doing herion, I was shocked I got my support system and turn to them. I told my husband that I wanted him to start being honest with me. We ha...
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nycbt
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1
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371
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living with the A
(Preview)
Hi everyone... I have been married for 4 years now and I keep asking myself can I or anyone live with an A? I know they are human beings and need love, but I am just wondering is it healthy to live with them; can I live healthy even though he isn't? I go back and forth with this question because I love my...
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heather
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7
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520
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Do you know this about yourself?
(Preview)
Below is an exerpt from a post that a person made on another forum. It is in reference to how the person reacted to someone that made them feel "less then". I thought it was an excellant reaction. Keep in mind this was not from an Alanon forum where we "seek" our part in a problem. Ok, so things didn't work ou...
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Christy
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7
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499
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something funny
(Preview)
the other night when i was having my moment thinking about being a snob, i was wondering around our local drug store. i picked up a shade of pink lipstick and i thought.....''why not''? i rarely, if ever wear pink. to day i looked at the label to see what that shade of pink is called, you&...
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jewely
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6
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423
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Up off the couch and "off to the races"...
(Preview)
the race to see who can drink the most, I suspected. I posted here on Saturday night about how myA asked to come here and sleep on the couch after an 8 day binge with his drinking friends. I decided to say Okay and let him in after the reverend drove him over. My Ah was hungry and asked for something...
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jaja
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3
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477
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In the middle of a crisis/chaos what Alanon tools do YOU use?
(Preview)
After years in Alanon I finally figured out how to use the tools. Something as simple as "THINK" came to mind many times during a crisis in my home. I finally made sure what came out of my mouth was something that would not antagonize the situation and keep it going. I found when the A was raging...
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gardengal
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11
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532
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NYCBT
(Preview)
ok where and how are you??? please respond!!! love,debilyn
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debilyn
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1
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301
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For Ally, You AMAZE me
(Preview)
Ally,Thank you for your BRAVEHEARTFELTMOVING story. I have searched for a very long time for an apt description of depression.You nailed it. Thank youThis is for you, not my words but heartfeltlilms Friend Today I hear you crying and my heart bleeds in pain. I want to run to you and wrap my arms ar...
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lilms
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2
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406
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it's everywhere!!!
(Preview)
i grew up in an alcoholic home. i married and alcoholic/drug addict. all of my friends are either addicted, in recovery or married to an a. 2 years before my dad died he finally got an a of his own! but his a was in the program. he was there for my dad as he died, he has been there for me during that time and since...
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serendipity
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1
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257
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Ongoing Miracles
(Preview)
My granddaughter is grounded again.... LOL. It's because she's becoming a teenager, and her parents are setting boundaries... consequences. I watch this in amazement. I grew up with an alcoholic father and a codependent mother. My father was not a violent person - not really even verb...
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barisax
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3
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265
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ODAT for today
(Preview)
Hi all! I have been going throgh some real trials lately and wanted to share this with y'all. ........If the problems I have to face seem beyond my endurance, I will not explain them to God. He already knows. I will not tell Him what I "expect" Him to do about my difficulties; He knows wh...
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irish54
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2
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309
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Update
(Preview)
Hi everyone, It's been a while since I posted and just wanted to say that everything is going well. Life feels normal - as close to that as it's ever been I guess. I look forward to the weekends and never have to worry about what might happen. I still talk to my A husband and take the kids to see hi...
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carolinagirl
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3
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317
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well he is back home
(Preview)
well he is back home..he only spent 3 days in detox,he says they r trying to find a rehab for him to go to..he told me he needs to do rehab cause it will look good for him in court..so he is only doing this do get out of trouble not because he has a drinking and drug problem...he wants me to help him come up with 25...
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bev
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4
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494
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can i say this online.................?
(Preview)
for the last day or two i have been noticing something about myself. since i don't have a sponsor [my higher power and i are working on that], i was wondering if, i can say this online...............? i have noticed that i can be a bit of a snob. the other night when i arrived at the alanon meeting, one o...
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jewely
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13
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610
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The nightmare...
(Preview)
(((((Everyone))))) My AW asked me today, " ...how do you live with yourself when I just have to leave and go back to that apartment instead of staying here with my family..." I asked here if she means how do I feel inside about this whole situation. When she said yes... I thought about it for...
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rtexas
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12
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548
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trying to understand my crazy life with an A.
(Preview)
My A husband left me 7 months ago, and I have been suffering ever since. I still love him, but hate his behavior even tho he has been sober for 26 years, he has been a mean bastard because of being a dry drunk. He just started going to meetings the last 2 years. I just want to change, grow, heal and be the ver...
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snoopy
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4
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477
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Living in the day.
(Preview)
Last year I posted a few topics on this forum as I was suffering from anxiety. I attended a few alanon meetings last year and they were great. I attended alateen at the age of 17 yrs I tend to turn to alanon when nervous or anxious. Overall, I work my daily program and have great faith in my higher power. ...
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annmarie988
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4
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401
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SPeCiAL DaY!
(Preview)
Attention Please – We have a birthday in the house Today is Christy’s (aka: cjo) Birthday! So I was thinking - Why don’t we all just say "Happy Birthday" to Christy? OK? Ready? Lets Say It – Happy Birthday -To -You .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ....
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tea2
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16
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368
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jewely
(Preview)
The way I look at it that little by little we begin to see our A's as truly sick. And I think that's why you could gently whisper to him. Perhaps in his heart he's always loved you and perhaps he wonders why you still love him. Maybe that's what he's thinking as he s...
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jaja
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1
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237
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how can he be so dillusional???
(Preview)
I am ready to snap! I kicked my A out afew weeks ago to figure himself out and to only come home if he chooses to sober up. Last night i went out and when i came home i found flowers in the kitchen, all the dishes done, and the house tidy...(when im depressed i dont clean much!) I figured that was his way of sayin...
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arty
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5
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430
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Allyoops LOL
(Preview)
(((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))) Want a laugh??????? Okay I attended my first op's meeting last night, and I changed my Nick to Ally- meeting. To let the roomies know I was still in the room. So this morning I tried to come Into the room, and I was REFUSED,(lol). so as usual I went right into one, oh h...
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ally
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0
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281
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ALLY'S LIFE..written by Ally
(Preview)
When I was disconnected for 2 weeks from here I had time to think about Ally. This Is what i came up withI am posting this In the hope it can help someone understand what THEY are going through right now and to let them know we understand and THEY are not on their ownEver asked yourself this question……..Who...
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belle1
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0
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432
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Hello...New Here
(Preview)
Hello, newbie here. Just need to vent a little. DH is an A, driving me crazy with the sneakiness and the lies. I'm trying to learn how to let go. So hard to do when you really love someone (we've been married less than 6 months...sad I know, and I'm pr...
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duckgirl
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13
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314
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he raises my questions too
(Preview)
I have not posted in a few days and I feel like I miss you all....so good to read some of your words just now. My boyfriend is home from re-hab for 5 days now...we are taking it one day at a time. He is happy and sober and strong and so am I...both really focusing on ourselves and our programs and on our lives. T...
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Fifi
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10
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655
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Husband sober, but still frustrating!!!
(Preview)
I try to be positive. I am so happy my husband is sober, but I still sometimes want to sock him in the jaw! He is busy working and when he is not working he is at a meeting or at his sponsor's house, or talking to other AA members. Yes, I am a little jealous of all the time he spends with t...
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hudsond
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10
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786
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can't get into chat...sigh...
(Preview)
I can't seem to get into the chat room tonite. I haven't had any problems until just a bit ago. I logged in, and it didn't show my nick on the screen. Then it showed that I had been kicked by the OP (lol, I won't mention which one...). I tried to load the chat again, and this time it showe...
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lmt123
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2
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261
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pay attention to your dreams......................
(Preview)
it is five in the morning and i just woke up. my fingers are groping at the keyboard in foggy, heavy, sleepy disbelief. several lyears ago i was told, ''pay attention to your dreams.'' just before i woke up i was dreaming, the word helichrysum kind of flashing in my brain and the thou...
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jewely
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0
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272
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I just now let him in (sigh)
(Preview)
He called here about an hour ago, still under the influence of course, but coherent (and stupid sounding). He asked if it was okay if he could come here and sleep on the couch. He was at the place he stays at these days but, as I figured, he does not want to be there alone at this time. That's because...
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jaja
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9
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482
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Not Again! I call Uncle!
(Preview)
Part of what got me to Alanon was my daughter's depression and eating disorder at 8 years old. My life was spinning out of control between my A, his A parents, brand new baby, and a deeply disturbed step child. Finding out about the eating disorder was no easy task. The school had bee...
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ZiggyDoodles
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10
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504
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my kids drinking and drugging
(Preview)
hello, new here, I am in recovery myself as well as my husband.. now I see my 19 year old showing signs of addiction as well... not sure of best way to handle this.. I have found pot, beer, pills in her room. After having 3 years clean and sober myself, not long ago ,a few months back, i just said forget it and...
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gimmpy
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5
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578
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I need to be more assertive.
(Preview)
I am having self esteem problems. It mainly has to do with my job. I believe that I am a good person but I have a difficult time being assertive and standing up for myself. I am in a middle management position and have been there for several years. I have several people who work for me who are always nega...
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kclady
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6
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1181
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New member needs help
(Preview)
My husband has been a functional alcoholic in denial for >30 years. One month ago he suffered a seizure which the dr's said was due to alcoholism. He was in the hospital for 2 weeks and went through the physical withdrawal there. We have been home now for 2 weeks. His cogni...
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pondlady
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8
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533
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Redefining My HP
(Preview)
Dear (((((Alanoners))))), A few weeks ago, I realized how fully and completely I was struggling with my concept of my HP. I realized that part of the reason I was having trouble staying connected to my HP was that I still have this image of my HP as a punishing, vengeful God. Interestingly enough my imag...
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BlueCloud
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2
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444
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how can you be happy whether the alcoholic is drinking or not
(Preview)
What does it mean " we can be happy whether the alcoholic is drinking or not" How do you do that? I know the company lines....
Detach, detach, detach...
Keep the focus on me
Do the next right thing....
I guess the real thing I need to look at is acceptance, what am I willing to accept???
...
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confused
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9
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562
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THIS IS FOR YOU KERRY
(Preview)
I found this today while rooting around in a cupboard , it is something my mother planted awhile ago , I find them occasionally. She was very optomistic and religious and was always putting liitle notes in places where I would eventually find them . hehe My mother passed away a yr ago, so I consider thi...
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abbyal
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1
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396
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Constant Threats
(Preview)
My husband went out drinking with his friend and left me alone. We had a long talk and he is threatening to leave me and divorce me unless I found a new house for us to live in by January 3rd. Im so sick of this rollercoaster of blaming and threats. I am thinking of packing up all of HIS stuff and throwing it ou...
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EarthAngel
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8
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469
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Does anyone else have this problem??
(Preview)
This will seem minor to many of you, but this is where I am today. My AH who is a controller moves my things. I've wasted my time looking for my large tape player because I found a tape I wanted to play. I have looked everywhere that I think it could be. When I can't...
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carolena
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4
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350
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it helping
(Preview)
He is doing great today. The drug is really helping, he seems much more better then today. The doctor will be called if he gets worse. But right now he is doing great. YOu would never know he was withdrawing. The med he is on is supposed to help the withdraw it says it in the brochure. The name of the drug subo...
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nycbt
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1
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270
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the medi
(Preview)
Right now he can't stay still he goes from one room to another back and forth. He has been in bed or he goes to lay on the floor. The med he is taking is suboxone. He is going to my med doctor who is a great doctor. I have told my husband to call the doctor if he gets worse. I would never go get the drug again. It...
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nycbt
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5
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502
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I'm back!
(Preview)
((((((((((Family)))))))), Just wanted to let you know that I'm back to the living, sort of! I haven't forgotten about you all. I've missed you all. The computer crashed. So we were struggling with finding the money to get it fixed. We found some, but will definitely have to get...
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Karilynn
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7
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291
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An Enlightening Question
(Preview)
Are you in love with him/her or are you in love with the person you want him/her to be? I remember hearing this question and thinking, Oh my goodness! I always hope things will work out really well without looking for who they really are. My ex was wonderful in the beginning then his head started spinning...
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kissers
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4
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314
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I have a reason for being afraid to call the cops on my A
(Preview)
I have no idea how any of you will feel about this, but I am not too keen up on calling the cops on my A when things get bad because I. as you know, suffer from a lot of illness. I use manijuana to help with pain, nausea, anxiety, etc. I have done a whole lot of research on this and I am very much for medical M...
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hippietrippiechick
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8
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532
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A GOOD REMINDER
(Preview)
((((((((((((((PEOPLE))))))))))))))))))) I saw this and thought some of you might like to read it. An old Native American Grandfather told his grandson, "There are two wolves fighting inside all of us-- The wolf of fear and hate, and the wolf of love and peace. "The grandson liste...
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ally
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2
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296
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AH got a sponsor
(Preview)
Well - after completely losing it with my AH the other day, I have renewed hope that he is making progress. Keep in mind that my screenname is babysteps for a reason! A quick recap of my story: AH went to rehab for a month in July 2005, relapsed 5 days after getting home. Has spent the past 1.5 yrs making half...
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babysteps
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3
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240
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husband using
(Preview)
On Wednesday my husband told me he was doing herion and he has been doing it for a while. A I was in shock because I couldn't believe I didn't know he was using. Usally when he using he is very nasty, and he wasn''t at all, he was great to be around. We have been getting along very well it been...
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nycbt
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7
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285
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don't do this
(Preview)
Yesterday my husband went to the med doctor he hadn't done and herion yesterday, so i was hoping he didn't suffer from the withdraw. Well so he didn't have bad withdraw he brought me to buy more herion, not very happy camper, and i didn't think that was right and alot of you are going to d...
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nycbt
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6
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314
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Prayer request for ME...
(Preview)
Hi all,
I'm just struggling with a lot of things lately, job-wise and other stuff. Business is very, very slow right now for both me and my A, and I'm trying to use my wits and business experience to decide on whether to begin a new journey or not.
As some of ya know, both my A...
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lmt123
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12
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388
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mom died
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I have lost everyone in my family except my daughter. don't see her as she lives far away.
a very very wonderful woman adopted me. she was my mom. she was everything to me and I to her.
I won't be here for awhile. I may read but cannot respond for awhile.
not real jazzed about living right now. but the c...
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debilyn
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46
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1237
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I remember this guy asked me...
(Preview)
I remember some guy asked me in a chat session a while back how I could not know what I want. I said I didn't know if I was done or not with the A. And he said "well do you want more of the same?". That has stuck with me even now. No, I don't want more of the same and I have been thru this en...
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carolinagirl
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6
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507
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And Anyway!!
(Preview)
Our transmission isn't working right. In June we were away from home and had to install a new one, it cost $$$$$ and we put it on credit. Three months ago my AH had problems with the transmission and he said "somewhere around here is the reciept for the transmission" like it was just fl...
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RainyJamie
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1
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221
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How ironic!!
(Preview)
My A is currently sharing his house with a friend, also an A, whose marriage broke up 4 months ago. My A is trying to be a supportive friend, easing his friend through his heartbreak and trying to help him start his life again. My A is a binge drinker, the friend drinks daily until he is drunk. While my A ...
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Feather
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2
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254
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What shall I do?
(Preview)
Ok I am sitting here this morning kindof mad,kindof sad, and kindof like "How Importain Is It".. Lastnight my A sister sent my daughter of a picture of herself on airplane (she looked dorkey) there was no words like How are you, how school, or anything just this dorkey picture... At f...
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bubbles1990
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2
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237
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I need to stop hateing Dad
(Preview)
Can You Help Me Do That? I Have Hated My Dad Ever Since I Was Seven. I Am Thirteen. I Want To Love Him. He Always Says He Is Proud Of Me....I Feel Guilty When He Does. I Started Hateing Him When I Witnessed Him Beating And Stranggleing My Mom. What Do I Do? I Have A Sponser But I Am Not Sure What She Will Think Of Me...
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eMiLy
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7
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578
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Trying to keep detachment going
(Preview)
At present my ex-A is staying with me, a couple of black moods but up and down as usual, he goes out every night and before I would have gone mad about this, I do not now. He is acting perfect, cooking, paying his share, this is unusual behaviour and I do everything that I would do if he was not there and am cour...
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maire rua
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3
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359
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Asked to have some private time with my child---he toook all the money he promised and said __ you.
(Preview)
My daughter came over for a while tonight and just wanted some time with her. All I wanted. But he took it all wrong. I have docs appts tomorrow and am supposed to pick up my meds and stuff. He got his ride out, promptly grabbbed his check ( shoudn't have but he had close to $300 in his wallet befor...
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hippietrippiechick
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10
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587
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