The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
this is the hard one is dealing with my self,trying to make other love me and i have no luck at it,i know i need to love my self before i can love other
how do you love your self and selfesteem and self worth all come in to play do you think i be better off going to f2f meeting than on line do we have on line sponcer some one i can talk to to give me help when my way never works i been doing it my way and it got me no where,
I am open to any subjestion you have,like i am i am no good to my self or others
Of course your way doesn't work, none of our ways work for this. We are powerless. Hand it over to your HP and go from there. F2F meetings are wonderful, I think you would benefit from going. Is there one near you? Go, you are worth taking care of, and of course keep coming here, the support is amazing.
This is a thing I would imagine most people struggle with. When we have been abused one way or the other, It knocks the stuffing from us. As a result self-esteem, self-worth, is low. Confidence is also something else that goes missing in us. But in order to move on with our lives we have to sort ourselves out, spititually, emotionally, and mentally. How can we understand anyone else when we cant understand ourselves.
As for making someone love you, well you cant do that marty. We love someone because we have feelings for that person. Because they make us happy, feel alive and generally make us feel wonderful. Sometimes its so hard to accept when someone doesnt love you. But you just have to keep going, in hope that one day you will meet the right person.
As for working your programme...... Well you have a lot of years in the programme, What is best for you? Go to face to face, online, phone people, get a sponsor, and read all the literature.
As a wise person once told me: You have to believe that you are worthy of your recovery. That's the first step. We so often think that others deserve to be happy and healthy, but we do not. Hubby has often told me, that it took him 20 years to become the alcoholic that he was to the point of where he almost died. It's gonna take him a little while to get better. Baby steps my friend. Do what works best for you when it comes to the meetings. Do both online and f2f. Having a sponsor I do believe will help. Hang in there. You will find your way.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I'd say do both - online helps in one way, f2f in another. If you really are having trouble loving yourself and accepting that you are worthy of love, you might want to also try some counselling outside of alanon. I found it worked wonders for me. There are lots of ways to go - churches can often point you in the direction of free or sliding scale counselling, as can social services agencies. Life can be better than this - you were taught to feel this way, and you can teach yourself to feel better.
I agree...do both f2f meetings and online. The one thing I absolutely love about having the online room is that no matter what time of day or night it is, if I need something or just someone I can find that here. The f2f give us actual companionship during the meetings and I think that is so important since many of us have been isolated from others.
I also agree with Ally, we cannot make anyone love us and even if we could, would we want a love that we basically took? Wouldn't it be better if it is freely given to us? Then there is never a doubt that the love is genuine. And I believe that when the time is right to be in love we just sort of stumble across the person without even having to look for them or make an effort to find them. It just sort of happens.
Take care of you, find yourself and the rest will fall into place.
i want to thank you all for your input and how you help me i got a lot to learn and a lot of hard work ahead of me,i have not gone to a f2f meeting yet but i will
