Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

koala · koala

Hi all, After being sober for 9 days,my A has been drinking again since last Thursday (one day after his pay day- sickness allowance)When he was sober and after going away on a binge for 4 days and sleeping in his car, I told him not to drink in my house and stay away when he is drunk. When I got back f...

Al · Al

its about time I addressed this, think I need some help. I've started going to the pub at lunch and drinking 2-4 pints just to take the edge off how bad I feel. Can't sleep during the week and shake big time, anyone give some advice?

Powerless · Powerless

This morning we both woke up in a good mood. I am not sure what happened but he became very cranky and I let it effect my mood. I became very cranky. We went out for breakfast and go into an argument. My son and I decided to wait in the car until he and my daughter finished eating.&n...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Life Through My Eyes In my life I have only known nothing but lies In my own little world with my own little eyes Where there in no sadness and I can hear no cries I am sad but cannot cry My tears have long been dry I cannot fill a heart that was never whole I also am dead inside And hav...

Emafer · Emafer

Lately, I feel like I'm constantly appologizing. I feel like I go into something with very clear and kind intentions and then somehow things get twisted into me being a bad guy. And I end up appologizing for it. And it's wearing me out. I mean, where do I go wrong? And I also feel like I'm so often misunders...

maresie · maresie

I started seeing a new counselor. I am not sure if she can help or not but I have a plan b if she does not help (I must say I never had a plan b in my life before so i am very very grateful for this program). I am working on some issues from my adolescence that really have haunted me for a long long time that ca...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

A.A. Thought for the Day Liquor used to be my friend. I used to have a lot of fun drinking. Practically all the fun I had was connected with drinking. But the time came when liquor became my enemy. I don't know just when liquor turned against me and became my enemy, but I know it happened, because I bega...

penny · penny

Thanks to all who replied I will take on board the advice and learn as much as I can. I am not experienced enough or confident enough to respond to others postings, I would probably say the wrong thing and make you all feel worse (if thats possible). Having said that it does not...

penny · penny

Where did I go wrong....... On Friday morning my A who has been sober for 5 weeks and in a pretty good frame of mind started an almighty row. I could'nt find the keys and he heard me cursing under my breath that was the start of it, I was'nt cursing him just muttering wheres the sodding keys. I t...

lin0606 · lin0606

I got some bad news today - my daughter (14) came to me with a couple of her friends. They were worried and upset - another of their friends had told them that her cousin had raped her last week. One of the friends had told her mother, a couple of days ago, who phoned the girl's mother to tell her about it, She w...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - February 18 As I began writing my Eighth Step list -- the persons I had harmed -- many wise Al-Anon members suggested I put my own name on it. The coping behaviors I had developed as a child had helped me survive the chaos in my alcoholic home. However, these behaviors...

mastiff · mastiff

hiya all, i woke up early this morning, looking forward to chairing the Spirituality Meeting this am. I sat up out of bed, streched my sleepy arms up, bend my head from side to side and open my eyes to see about a foot of snow outside! I know for some of you that's no biggi, but for us here, tha...

Cyn · Cyn

I was sitting here thinking how much my A has affected me without me even realizing it over the last 8 years of my life. We werent together for all 8 years - but the up and down rollercoaster of "I want to be with you - I cant be with you - I love you - I cant love you - etc etc etc" affected me more than I ever k...

chris52 · chris52

It's been a very tough week. Last night my friends Bill and Pam ( who helped to keep me safe this week) came up to check I was ok and Pam gave me this. I thought I could share it with you all; I asked God to take away my habit.. He said "No,it is not for me to take away,but for you to give up" I asked God to make...

papa brunsk · papa brunsk

My A has been letting the girls down large lately.Broken promises day after day.There still at the whys They come to me for answers that I dont have.Its so tough living with active A and 3 teenage girls in a rural area.Some days I think I should take girls and go.But would them come with me.Cant leave them...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, I need a little help here. I feel I am doing well following my program, and learning how to cope with my resentments and fears. Except I continue to be stuck on this same resntment. I collected music, every kind style form etc. Last year in the worst part of my A's relapse/...

MFran · MFran

I am still rather new to this program. I have been going to the on line chat and the on line meetings and have gone to one f2f. However, I am struggling with loneliness and would really appreciate some feedback from you all. Over the years I have managed to lose all of my friends.&nb...

maresie · maresie

Last weekend I had a huge row with the a. The whole weekend was ruined. He was his usual obnoxious self. This week I practiced and practiced not talking to him when he was in the disease. I was greatly helped by a member of this program who took time out to talk to me about talking to the disease. ...

izzymom · izzymom

Well, today is day two of intervention. We meet today to rehearse our letters and fine tune the procedure. Tomorrow morning we do it. I am getting nervous again. I was okay yesterday with the group but have doubts when I am alone. I am trying to be strong for my son, i know he nee...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Right now I am trying to save my 14 yr old son from this god awful disease. I see so many things in him of his dad. Some good and some scare the hell out of me. Right now he is so very angry at all the stuff he has been thru, and who could blame him. He is unfortunately taking is anger out the the wrong ways: at schoo...

Lani · Lani

Release, Relieve and Rest the pressure cooker inside YOU! "Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. T...

debilyn · debilyn

It is very cold right now in Oregon. We are not used to this. Blue sky and weather in the teens or less. ground is super hard. meaning no mud at least. This morn the water is off. Yesterday there was water blowing out of the pressure thingy on the well. I had to call A. I mean you would think me up here w...

leo · leo

This afternoon my husband rang around 4.00pm and asked would I like to go up to the yacht club for a meal with friends as he had to discuss our aligning block of land with them. I said yes - what time he replied 6.00pm will be home shortly. At 5.40pm I rang and said what are you doing? He sa...

megan · megan

I am getting a divorce. I am married for 14 years to an abusive alcoholic. In May 2005 I had enough I hit MY BOTTOM and I left. In August I filed for divorce. Court mediation is 4/05/2006. Yesterday my lawyer sent me a letter from my husbands attorney saying they would value my pension. ...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

My day has sucked today. I got yelled at at work for a truly minor infraction (a typo in the subject of an email. So shoot me.) Then I talked to my 'a' boyfriend. Bear in mind that we do have a great relationship. I love him with all my heart and he is my best friend. We...

MFran · MFran

Hi, I am still new to this, but need to get something off my chest. My adult daughter A is in rehab. She is allowed visitors between certain hours. It is very hard for me to get there after work so I went every other day last week. Of course, weekends are easiest. She calls...

chris52 · chris52

I got NO sleep last night. The brain just won't shut down...I guess that's pretty "normal"? after the week I've had.

I'm So grateful for all the love and support my family here have given me.And the cyber hugs are great. I so need a real hug today...and there's no-one to give me one.This morning I go...

mebjk · mebjk

I am having some tough decisions to make. I ask for your prayers. I am going to a meeting tomorrow that could decide my work life for a long time to come. When I get up in the morning I'll pray and remind myself that my hp is already holding me, and guiding my day. But I am so nervous. Some of the anxiety I have be...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i have been slugging around lately and i feel like all i do is complain and worry. so the past few days i have decided to let go of it. there's nothing i can do or say to make my dad change. i don't deserve to be unhappy. thinking of him, what he is doing to himself and us makes me sad and unhappy. i am tryin...

Powerless · Powerless

I absolutely can't take anymore...just for today. Yesterday my husband called home several times and complained about everything under the sun. Then he let lose with "Well, why should I be in a good mood? Every Friday I have to come home and give you my paycheck like a child."&nbs...

chris52 · chris52

The last week has been the worst time for me....The only thing that has given me any hope has been the love and support from my friends and you very special people here. I got an reading from some horoscope thingy I check out occasionally when I can't find anything better to do...(doesn't h...

carla036 · carla036

Morning Family~ I just re discovered this board the last few days, and I am so grateful for each and every one of you. It is through this program that I found peace and serenity, and a new way of life. However, like anything it truly is a choice. I feel as good or bad as I choose to feel. Nothing good com...

New Member Here · Sondee

I am married to an alcoholic. This is my second marriage to an addict. I struggle constantly with the notion of leaving, but financially that just isn't feasible. He is not physically abusive. Every day he starts drinking as soon as he gets home from work; he stops when he passes out late in the night. If...

sparkette · sparkette

I had been pretty excited about my upcoming 1 year Alanon birthday for the last few weeks. I really am a cake celebrating kind of gal - so any reason for a cake is always good for me :0) We have a wonderful Alanon speakers meeting every month in our area that gives out chips for Alanon recovery. I was all exci...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I sat down and told my kids we are moving last night. That I am seperating from my husband. They didn't understand why. I guess I did a good job of not fighting in front of them andsheltering them from his drinking. All they were aware of was the problems with his daughter. An...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

the past few days my a has been phoning me and treating me good. i was confused so today i spoke with him and asked him exactly what his motives were. i wanted to know if we were speaking and are working things out or if he is just trying to keep a hold on me. i want him to come home if he would be willing to go back t...

rtexas · rtexas

Well our daily conversation has become ... ... if you can't make me happy we may as well break it off. Best I can offer her is, that I am trying to keep myself sane and that may not include keeping her entertained. "I love you but you have a drinking problem that you are not ready to d...

Sondee · Sondee

I had no idea before reading the messages on this board how unoriginal my As are (ex husband and current husband). Wow! It's the same ugly face everywhere, the very same. There's no originality. (It's not even unique that I married two of them.) This realization is a breakthrough for me. It's like alco...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

I wonder sometimes if I should go to an Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting. My a is my boyfriend, but my father was one too. (And a Freudian psychologist. The irony is painful.) The thing is, my a is trying to get sober, slipping here and there. But I never thought of m...

2D1S · 2D1S

Someone tell me about "boundaries"....Is there a specific alanon book that discusses them? Any info. would be great to help me learn more. -2D1S

new member · papa brunsk

Just wanted to introduce my self I am a 47 yr old father of 3 girls.My wife of 21 yrs has been battling with alcholism for the past 10 yrs.I spent some time today in the chat room and am looking forward to my first meeting the people I met were fantastic.hope to chat again soon

rtexas · rtexas

A cut her drinking from 12-14 beers a day to 7 or so and asks me "are you happy"? I told her I'm not counting any more. 7, 12 or 20... her irrational behavior is the same, so it doesn't matter to me. A decided to have dinner at my folks for a send off diner for my brother.&...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i am not speaking to my dad, but i miss him. i refuse to call him! but i am starting to feel weak. i wonder if maybe i should call him. the problem is that my dad doesn't like confrentaion and avoids anything that is negative. he is in denial as well. if i call him, he's going to act like nothing is wrong (like...

chris52 · chris52

Well my A made contact by using a phone number he knew I would answer! Asked me what had he done wrong? Why was I punishing him?Why am I destroying his hope and love? Says he has absolutely no idea what he is supposed to have done wrong. Told me that after I apologised and he refused my apology he had second...

bd · bd

I have waited very patiently for the last for years for my ex who is an A to pay his child support. In Dec of last year i sent in the papers to have him garnished as he has been working for the last year at his job and i have seen no form of support. Well I guess they have started to garnish him becaus...

Christy · Christy

It appears A's bloodwork is getting back under control. He is getting out of ICU today and in to a regular room. Now his only immediate problems are the pneumonia and his blood pressure. They've been trying to get his BP down for almost a week with not much luck. Tonight is my son's concert in St. Loui...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Okay, my AH left me and my kids, wants to start his life over in another state, when he left here, we had kissed him goodbye, he loved me etc etc. He relapsed out there, decided to not come back blah blah blah...... Anyway, I haven't spoken to him for weeks now because it's so upsetting talking to h...

Barbara · Barbara

Ive been focusing on my recovery for a few months now. Its time to get some fun back into my life! Not that recovery cant be fun. But what else do you do in your life that isnt related to recovery? How do you step away? Could be that its winter and I have a hard time dealing with not getting outside!

bobump · bobump

Ok, so my A just hit a recovery button on me, and I don't have a sponser so I'd like to take a check here. Cliff notes story on the background. NJ's new 'digital' license requires documentation for all name changes. Her naturalization papers were lost from storage at her sisters years ago. Now she ne...

debilyn · debilyn

Took A to his doc. app. for SS. His "friend" was home. I don't know why he did not ask him to take him. I have to drive from another town to take him. He is dead walking. NO life, no spark, no word. no how are you's hows gma nothing. I don't care. my guts are a mess. him, gma, squatters..ick it i...

Cyn · Cyn

Hey guys, I know both of you are in the same position I am in - staying away from our A's who we loved so much and needed in our lives. We've been through the ringer and the rollercoaster of I love you's and I hate you's. I have been playing the same song everyday in my car on the way to work to keep me f...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

You are reading from the book Today's Gift </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=2121>. Shame-filled people feel that something is wrong at their very core. It is a sense of being bad . . .. --Susan Kwiecien Nobody is rotten to the core. Whenever we start to believe we are bad all the...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))), So many newbies ask us to give them an example of enabling. The past couple of days, I have some of the best examples in my comic strip. I have been a Peanuts fan since the beginning of time. (Remember I'm older than dirt.)

So everyday I go to www.snoopy.com f...

Nettie · Nettie

I have a friend of mine that found out that her boyfriend is going on to web sites for porn. Does anyone know of a message board similar to this one that she can access?

Nettie · Nettie

So I got a new CD and unlike my children, I choose to listen to the entire CD instead of just the one song that I originally purchased it for. On this CD there is a song that just hit me. I thought I would share. When my A becomes unrealistic in his thinking and frustrates me beyond words....

jeeves · jeeves

My A wife was let go from her job of 14 years in September 2005. After a two week binge she agreed to go to 3 months of rehab. This was the second rehab this year. When she returned in January she returned to drinking again. Now she sleeps in the guest bedroom, wakes...

Christy · Christy

Along with the pneumonia some tests came back that look pretty serious.. I forgot to mention....(my brain is out to lunch) A's ammonia levels in his blood are very high. His liver is not functioning correctly and ammonia backs up in to his kidney. I don't know exactly what an SGOT test stands for, b...

chris52 · chris52

I'm in a really bad place right now.Any progress I thought I was making is right oout of the window.Sorry-this is going to be a long post. I am English but living in Turkey.My A has a history of using violence when drunk and the police have beeen involved three times now. We finished after the last bout and...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i am feeling torn b/c of my situation with my dad. we have broken off all contact with him. i feel bad about it quite often. the thing is that i know he doesn't care. that feels so horrible to feel that i am that disposable! my sis tells me not to feel bad, it's not my fault, and when he wants to be a part of...

Christy · Christy

My A has stopped hallucinating (4 days worth), and he slept for 16 hrs. Today he is still very lethargic but does know who we are for the fist time since early Sunday. He has pneumonia and his blood pressure is still not under control. He also had an MRI today and that looked good. It looks like the initia...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	life has truely become unmanageable (Preview) Hi all, After being sober for 9 days,my A has been drinking again since last Thursday (one day after his pay day- sickness allowance)When he was sober and after going away on a binge for 4 days and sleeping in his car, I told him not to drink in my house and stay away when he is drunk. When I got back f...	koala	8	634	Feb 21, 2006 by koala
	Right... (Preview) its about time I addressed this, think I need some help. I've started going to the pub at lunch and drinking 2-4 pints just to take the edge off how bad I feel. Can't sleep during the week and shake big time, anyone give some advice?	Al	4	663	Feb 21, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	My husband is in jail (Preview) This morning we both woke up in a good mood. I am not sure what happened but he became very cranky and I let it effect my mood. I became very cranky. We went out for breakfast and go into an argument. My son and I decided to wait in the car until he and my daughter finished eating.&n...	Powerless	12	719	Feb 20, 2006 by Jeannie
	LIFE THROUGH MY EYES (Preview) Life Through My Eyes In my life I have only known nothing but lies In my own little world with my own little eyes Where there in no sadness and I can hear no cries I am sad but cannot cry My tears have long been dry I cannot fill a heart that was never whole I also am dead inside And hav...	Lauren ashley	5	585	Feb 20, 2006 by Flora123
	Constantly Appologizing? (Preview) Lately, I feel like I'm constantly appologizing. I feel like I go into something with very clear and kind intentions and then somehow things get twisted into me being a bad guy. And I end up appologizing for it. And it's wearing me out. I mean, where do I go wrong? And I also feel like I'm so often misunders...	Emafer	4	554	Feb 20, 2006 by Emafer
	grieving /surrender (Preview) I started seeing a new counselor. I am not sure if she can help or not but I have a plan b if she does not help (I must say I never had a plan b in my life before so i am very very grateful for this program). I am working on some issues from my adolescence that really have haunted me for a long long time that ca...	maresie	4	604	Feb 20, 2006 by mebjk
	is cooperation good enough?? (Preview) A.A. Thought for the Day Liquor used to be my friend. I used to have a lot of fun drinking. Practically all the fun I had was connected with drinking. But the time came when liquor became my enemy. I don't know just when liquor turned against me and became my enemy, but I know it happened, because I bega...	rosie light shines	1	578	Feb 20, 2006 by bobump
	Thank you (Preview) Thanks to all who replied I will take on board the advice and learn as much as I can. I am not experienced enough or confident enough to respond to others postings, I would probably say the wrong thing and make you all feel worse (if thats possible). Having said that it does not...	penny	2	547	Feb 20, 2006 by bobump
	Where did I go wrong (Preview) Where did I go wrong....... On Friday morning my A who has been sober for 5 weeks and in a pretty good frame of mind started an almighty row. I could'nt find the keys and he heard me cursing under my breath that was the start of it, I was'nt cursing him just muttering wheres the sodding keys. I t...	penny	5	608	Feb 20, 2006 by abbyal
	Doing the right thing? (Preview) I got some bad news today - my daughter (14) came to me with a couple of her friends. They were worried and upset - another of their friends had told them that her cousin had raped her last week. One of the friends had told her mother, a couple of days ago, who phoned the girl's mother to tell her about it, She w...	lin0606	7	535	Feb 20, 2006 by lin0606
	putting ME too on my step 8 list (Preview) Hope for Today - February 18 As I began writing my Eighth Step list -- the persons I had harmed -- many wise Al-Anon members suggested I put my own name on it. The coping behaviors I had developed as a child had helped me survive the chaos in my alcoholic home. However, these behaviors...	rosie light shines	4	573	Feb 20, 2006 by maresie
	snowed in and out but ty hp for it (Preview) hiya all, i woke up early this morning, looking forward to chairing the Spirituality Meeting this am. I sat up out of bed, streched my sleepy arms up, bend my head from side to side and open my eyes to see about a foot of snow outside! I know for some of you that's no biggi, but for us here, tha...	mastiff	7	493	Feb 20, 2006 by maresie
	Cant believe how things can change (Preview) I was sitting here thinking how much my A has affected me without me even realizing it over the last 8 years of my life. We werent together for all 8 years - but the up and down rollercoaster of "I want to be with you - I cant be with you - I love you - I cant love you - etc etc etc" affected me more than I ever k...	Cyn	6	854	Feb 20, 2006 by maresie
	I asked God (Preview) It's been a very tough week. Last night my friends Bill and Pam ( who helped to keep me safe this week) came up to check I was ok and Pam gave me this. I thought I could share it with you all; I asked God to take away my habit.. He said "No,it is not for me to take away,but for you to give up" I asked God to make...	chris52	7	625	Feb 20, 2006 by Andrea12
	Feeling lost again (Preview) My A has been letting the girls down large lately.Broken promises day after day.There still at the whys They come to me for answers that I dont have.Its so tough living with active A and 3 teenage girls in a rural area.Some days I think I should take girls and go.But would them come with me.Cant leave them...	papa brunsk	3	541	Feb 19, 2006 by WakingUp
	ESH needed on grieg for material possessions lost (Preview) Hello Everyone, I need a little help here. I feel I am doing well following my program, and learning how to cope with my resentments and fears. Except I continue to be stuck on this same resntment. I collected music, every kind style form etc. Last year in the worst part of my A's relapse/...	Jennifer	6	633	Feb 19, 2006 by Jennifer
	Alone and lonely (Preview) I am still rather new to this program. I have been going to the on line chat and the on line meetings and have gone to one f2f. However, I am struggling with loneliness and would really appreciate some feedback from you all. Over the years I have managed to lose all of my friends.&nb...	MFran	9	726	Feb 19, 2006 by rosie light shines
	using the tools (Preview) Last weekend I had a huge row with the a. The whole weekend was ruined. He was his usual obnoxious self. This week I practiced and practiced not talking to him when he was in the disease. I was greatly helped by a member of this program who took time out to talk to me about talking to the disease. ...	maresie	3	511	Feb 19, 2006 by rosie light shines
	intervention (Preview) Well, today is day two of intervention. We meet today to rehearse our letters and fine tune the procedure. Tomorrow morning we do it. I am getting nervous again. I was okay yesterday with the group but have doubts when I am alone. I am trying to be strong for my son, i know he nee...	izzymom	4	515	Feb 19, 2006 by doxie
	Trying to save my 14 year old son (Preview) Right now I am trying to save my 14 yr old son from this god awful disease. I see so many things in him of his dad. Some good and some scare the hell out of me. Right now he is so very angry at all the stuff he has been thru, and who could blame him. He is unfortunately taking is anger out the the wrong ways: at schoo...	Andrea12	10	634	Feb 19, 2006 by Andrea12
	RELIEVE THE PRESSURE COOKER (Preview) Release, Relieve and Rest the pressure cooker inside YOU! "Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. T...	Lani	1	528	Feb 19, 2006 by Flora123
	the insanity of it. (Preview) It is very cold right now in Oregon. We are not used to this. Blue sky and weather in the teens or less. ground is super hard. meaning no mud at least. This morn the water is off. Yesterday there was water blowing out of the pressure thingy on the well. I had to call A. I mean you would think me up here w...	debilyn	4	566	Feb 19, 2006 by whitie
	standing up for myself (Preview) This afternoon my husband rang around 4.00pm and asked would I like to go up to the yacht club for a meal with friends as he had to discuss our aligning block of land with them. I said yes - what time he replied 6.00pm will be home shortly. At 5.40pm I rang and said what are you doing? He sa...	leo	8	544	Feb 19, 2006 by Diane43
	Justifiable anger (Preview) I am getting a divorce. I am married for 14 years to an abusive alcoholic. In May 2005 I had enough I hit MY BOTTOM and I left. In August I filed for divorce. Court mediation is 4/05/2006. Yesterday my lawyer sent me a letter from my husbands attorney saying they would value my pension. ...	megan	19	715	Feb 19, 2006 by Diane43
	Flawless logic. A mild rant. (Preview) My day has sucked today. I got yelled at at work for a truly minor infraction (a typo in the subject of an email. So shoot me.) Then I talked to my 'a' boyfriend. Bear in mind that we do have a great relationship. I love him with all my heart and he is my best friend. We...	paintthinnr	5	687	Feb 19, 2006 by learning76
	Anger (Preview) Hi, I am still new to this, but need to get something off my chest. My adult daughter A is in rehab. She is allowed visitors between certain hours. It is very hard for me to get there after work so I went every other day last week. Of course, weekends are easiest. She calls...	MFran	5	641	Feb 19, 2006 by MFran
	I'm having a really bad time (Preview) I got NO sleep last night. The brain just won't shut down...I guess that's pretty "normal"? after the week I've had. I'm So grateful for all the love and support my family here have given me.And the cyber hugs are great. I so need a real hug today...and there's no-one to give me one.This morning I go...	chris52	5	544	Feb 19, 2006 by megan
	Tough decisions (Preview) I am having some tough decisions to make. I ask for your prayers. I am going to a meeting tomorrow that could decide my work life for a long time to come. When I get up in the morning I'll pray and remind myself that my hp is already holding me, and guiding my day. But I am so nervous. Some of the anxiety I have be...	mebjk	2	605	Feb 19, 2006 by maresie
	letting go... (Preview) i have been slugging around lately and i feel like all i do is complain and worry. so the past few days i have decided to let go of it. there's nothing i can do or say to make my dad change. i don't deserve to be unhappy. thinking of him, what he is doing to himself and us makes me sad and unhappy. i am tryin...	flintfeet	5	568	Feb 19, 2006 by rosie light shines
	I can't take anymore (Preview) I absolutely can't take anymore...just for today. Yesterday my husband called home several times and complained about everything under the sun. Then he let lose with "Well, why should I be in a good mood? Every Friday I have to come home and give you my paycheck like a child."&nbs...	Powerless	6	569	Feb 19, 2006 by rosie light shines
	OH WOW-this is amazing!! (Preview) The last week has been the worst time for me....The only thing that has given me any hope has been the love and support from my friends and you very special people here. I got an reading from some horoscope thingy I check out occasionally when I can't find anything better to do...(doesn't h...	chris52	3	571	Feb 19, 2006 by carla036
	Grateful... (Preview) Morning Family~ I just re discovered this board the last few days, and I am so grateful for each and every one of you. It is through this program that I found peace and serenity, and a new way of life. However, like anything it truly is a choice. I feel as good or bad as I choose to feel. Nothing good com...	carla036	0	503	Feb 19, 2006 by carla036
	New Member Here (Preview) I am married to an alcoholic. This is my second marriage to an addict. I struggle constantly with the notion of leaving, but financially that just isn't feasible. He is not physically abusive. Every day he starts drinking as soon as he gets home from work; he stops when he passes out late in the night. If...	Sondee	11	610	Feb 19, 2006 by Sondee
	my chip (Preview) I had been pretty excited about my upcoming 1 year Alanon birthday for the last few weeks. I really am a cake celebrating kind of gal - so any reason for a cake is always good for me :0) We have a wonderful Alanon speakers meeting every month in our area that gives out chips for Alanon recovery. I was all exci...	sparkette	4	1215	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	told my kids! (Preview) I sat down and told my kids we are moving last night. That I am seperating from my husband. They didn't understand why. I guess I did a good job of not fighting in front of them andsheltering them from his drinking. All they were aware of was the problems with his daughter. An...	jrtjosey	7	649	Feb 18, 2006 by jrtjosey
	having a hard time (Preview) the past few days my a has been phoning me and treating me good. i was confused so today i spoke with him and asked him exactly what his motives were. i wanted to know if we were speaking and are working things out or if he is just trying to keep a hold on me. i want him to come home if he would be willing to go back t...	notsonew1111	8	529	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Tired... (Preview) Well our daily conversation has become ... ... if you can't make me happy we may as well break it off. Best I can offer her is, that I am trying to keep myself sane and that may not include keeping her entertained. "I love you but you have a drinking problem that you are not ready to d...	rtexas	5	632	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Awakening.... (Preview) I had no idea before reading the messages on this board how unoriginal my As are (ex husband and current husband). Wow! It's the same ugly face everywhere, the very same. There's no originality. (It's not even unique that I married two of them.) This realization is a breakthrough for me. It's like alco...	Sondee	3	600	Feb 18, 2006 by confused
	Adult Child? (Preview) I wonder sometimes if I should go to an Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting. My a is my boyfriend, but my father was one too. (And a Freudian psychologist. The irony is painful.) The thing is, my a is trying to get sober, slipping here and there. But I never thought of m...	paintthinnr	2	622	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Boundaries (Preview) Someone tell me about "boundaries"....Is there a specific alanon book that discusses them? Any info. would be great to help me learn more. -2D1S	2D1S	4	987	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	new member (Preview) Just wanted to introduce my self I am a 47 yr old father of 3 girls.My wife of 21 yrs has been battling with alcholism for the past 10 yrs.I spent some time today in the chat room and am looking forward to my first meeting the people I met were fantastic.hope to chat again soon	papa brunsk	5	525	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Should I be impressed... (Preview) A cut her drinking from 12-14 beers a day to 7 or so and asks me "are you happy"? I told her I'm not counting any more. 7, 12 or 20... her irrational behavior is the same, so it doesn't matter to me. A decided to have dinner at my folks for a send off diner for my brother.&...	rtexas	8	591	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	i'm feeling weak! (Preview) i am not speaking to my dad, but i miss him. i refuse to call him! but i am starting to feel weak. i wonder if maybe i should call him. the problem is that my dad doesn't like confrentaion and avoids anything that is negative. he is in denial as well. if i call him, he's going to act like nothing is wrong (like...	flintfeet	4	548	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Now AA are manipulating me...HELP!!! (Preview) Well my A made contact by using a phone number he knew I would answer! Asked me what had he done wrong? Why was I punishing him?Why am I destroying his hope and love? Says he has absolutely no idea what he is supposed to have done wrong. Told me that after I apologised and he refused my apology he had second...	chris52	11	757	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Can't believe it or really yes i can (Preview) I have waited very patiently for the last for years for my ex who is an A to pay his child support. In Dec of last year i sent in the papers to have him garnished as he has been working for the last year at his job and i have seen no form of support. Well I guess they have started to garnish him becaus...	bd	4	557	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	A improving.... (Preview) It appears A's bloodwork is getting back under control. He is getting out of ICU today and in to a regular room. Now his only immediate problems are the pneumonia and his blood pressure. They've been trying to get his BP down for almost a week with not much luck. Tonight is my son's concert in St. Loui...	Christy	3	561	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	I don't understand why he hates me now? (Preview) Okay, my AH left me and my kids, wants to start his life over in another state, when he left here, we had kissed him goodbye, he loved me etc etc. He relapsed out there, decided to not come back blah blah blah...... Anyway, I haven't spoken to him for weeks now because it's so upsetting talking to h...	sdisnie	14	921	Feb 18, 2006 by Sondee
	how do you get Balance in your life? recovery/fun vs other fun (Preview) Ive been focusing on my recovery for a few months now. Its time to get some fun back into my life! Not that recovery cant be fun. But what else do you do in your life that isnt related to recovery? How do you step away? Could be that its winter and I have a hard time dealing with not getting outside!	Barbara	2	506	Feb 18, 2006 by lin0606
	feedback if you wouldn't mind.. (Preview) Ok, so my A just hit a recovery button on me, and I don't have a sponser so I'd like to take a check here. Cliff notes story on the background. NJ's new 'digital' license requires documentation for all name changes. Her naturalization papers were lost from storage at her sisters years ago. Now she ne...	bobump	12	791	Feb 18, 2006 by chris52
	little vent sorta (Preview) Took A to his doc. app. for SS. His "friend" was home. I don't know why he did not ask him to take him. I have to drive from another town to take him. He is dead walking. NO life, no spark, no word. no how are you's hows gma nothing. I don't care. my guts are a mess. him, gma, squatters..ick it i...	debilyn	4	677	Feb 18, 2006 by cdb
	To Notsonew and Rebecca - and anyone else who needs it (Preview) Hey guys, I know both of you are in the same position I am in - staying away from our A's who we loved so much and needed in our lives. We've been through the ringer and the rollercoaster of I love you's and I hate you's. I have been playing the same song everyday in my car on the way to work to keep me f...	Cyn	2	525	Feb 18, 2006 by cdb
	theres a BIIIG diference between me and evil (Preview) You are reading from the book Today's Gift </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=2121>. Shame-filled people feel that something is wrong at their very core. It is a sense of being bad . . .. --Susan Kwiecien Nobody is rotten to the core. Whenever we start to believe we are bad all the...	rosie light shines	4	559	Feb 18, 2006 by rosie light shines
	Good Grief Enabling! (Preview) ((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))), So many newbies ask us to give them an example of enabling. The past couple of days, I have some of the best examples in my comic strip. I have been a Peanuts fan since the beginning of time. (Remember I'm older than dirt.) So everyday I go to www.snoopy.com f...	Karilynn	2	602	Feb 17, 2006 by nikkilou
	Porn Addiction (Preview) I have a friend of mine that found out that her boyfriend is going on to web sites for porn. Does anyone know of a message board similar to this one that she can access?	Nettie	10	1370	Feb 17, 2006 by ashraven
	Music that hit me (Preview) So I got a new CD and unlike my children, I choose to listen to the entire CD instead of just the one song that I originally purchased it for. On this CD there is a song that just hit me. I thought I would share. When my A becomes unrealistic in his thinking and frustrates me beyond words....	Nettie	1	541	Feb 17, 2006 by rtexas
	What is next? (Preview) My A wife was let go from her job of 14 years in September 2005. After a two week binge she agreed to go to 3 months of rehab. This was the second rehab this year. When she returned in January she returned to drinking again. Now she sleeps in the guest bedroom, wakes...	jeeves	3	683	Feb 17, 2006 by canadianguy
	Forgot to mention... (Preview) Along with the pneumonia some tests came back that look pretty serious.. I forgot to mention....(my brain is out to lunch) A's ammonia levels in his blood are very high. His liver is not functioning correctly and ammonia backs up in to his kidney. I don't know exactly what an SGOT test stands for, b...	Christy	5	532	Feb 17, 2006 by bobump
	I really messed up big time (Preview) I'm in a really bad place right now.Any progress I thought I was making is right oout of the window.Sorry-this is going to be a long post. I am English but living in Turkey.My A has a history of using violence when drunk and the police have beeen involved three times now. We finished after the last bout and...	chris52	7	714	Feb 17, 2006 by jrtjosey
	what to do-I'M LOST! (Preview) i am feeling torn b/c of my situation with my dad. we have broken off all contact with him. i feel bad about it quite often. the thing is that i know he doesn't care. that feels so horrible to feel that i am that disposable! my sis tells me not to feel bad, it's not my fault, and when he wants to be a part of...	flintfeet	2	499	Feb 17, 2006 by doxie
	update #2 (Preview) My A has stopped hallucinating (4 days worth), and he slept for 16 hrs. Today he is still very lethargic but does know who we are for the fist time since early Sunday. He has pneumonia and his blood pressure is still not under control. He also had an MRI today and that looked good. It looks like the initia...	Christy	5	629	Feb 17, 2006 by chris52
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.