The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ya, boundaries can be confusing and hard to define, but I remember when I first came into these rooms, someone would post a list of boundaries, (can't remember them right now) but it's a very personal thing. We find what we're comfortable with and what we're not, like when i was living with my A, one of my boundaries was that if he was going to be drinking, I would not be around him, sleep with him, or talk to him during that time. I also asked for it not to be in the household, but that didn't go over so well. I also learned to walk away from him when he was being verbally abusive or blaming as to not "feed the fire." I learned to keep my side of the street clean, focus on what I could do for myself and at the same time, not be a doormat. HOpe this makes some sense.
If you have any of the daily readers like courage to change, one day at a time, etc, you can look in the index under boundaries...i'm sure there's alot there.
thanks for posting, i think this is such an important topic and one I know I struggle with lots.
On this board we are not supposed to mention non conference approved literature. I think that a lot of the al-anon literature is about boundaries. They just didn't just didn't use that specific word in those days. If you go to any of the major treatment centers, like the meadows in arizona, the hazelton on line they all have literature that pertains to boundaries.
Personally I have a lot of books on boundaries because I did not know what they were given where I came from living in an enmeshed family. I have to work on boundaries every day. I like to be able to name boundaries like trampled on boundaries, muddied my boundaries, crossed my boundaries and more. But that is me. I could talk boundaries 24/7 at the moment because I have had to be hyperaware of them. I think reading helps but then there is the matter of putting it into practice.
