New Member Here - Al-Anon Family Group

Sondee · Member

New Member Here

confused · Senior Member

Sondee,

Welcome, I am so glad you found us. Posting here was a first big step for me also. I immediately began to see a glimmer of hope for me. I did not come here to stop the alcoholic in my life from drinking, I do not have that power. Instead, I came here and to Al-Anon to find a place where I would be understood. Where the crazy things that went on in my home, my relationship with my husband, my HEAD, would be understood by someone and I found it here. I believe it is the Al-Anon preamble that says something about We who have lived with this disease can understand like no other.... that is so true. You will not receive advice here, just the Experience, Strength and Hope of others who have certainly been where you are today. And to me, that was more powerful than any piece of advice, the release from the loneliness, isolation and idea that I was alone. Here, in Al-anon, I am beginning to learn that I am not alone, no only with the insanity that being married to an alcoholic brings to our lives, but in the day to day stuff also. Since our thinking is so distorted and sick, it all goes back to the alcoholism in our lives. Here, I am beginning to learn how to do things differently, with the love and support of others who understand.

I hope that you keep coming back. Try to find a meeting in your area as well. Walking into my first Al-Anon meeting was a little frightening, but in the end, I saw the faces of people just like me. People who had been and were right where I was. Those people have reached out and offered me support that people I have known for years and years could not, they had not lived with alcoholism.

So glad you are,

Lynn

megan · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Sondee

Welcome to MIP and your recovery.

I am very glad that you found us.

We have meetings in the chat room at 9am and 9pm.

You should also find face to face meetings to go to.

Good job getting the courage to post.

Your life CAN get better.

Keep coming back

Megan

Maria123 · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome (((((((Sondee)))))))))<---- hugs,

Great first step! Keep coming, keep posting. It really helps to see the situation in black and white instead of playing the same scene over and over again in your mind.

www.mipchat.net is the link to the chatroom. We have meetings there 9 a.m. EST, 9 p.m. EST with a lot of experience, strength and hope.

Keep coming,

Maria123

leo · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Sonde and welcome. Here and through al-anon you will learn the tools to make you a stronger person and to stop the focus on what the A is doing in your life. You will not be able to cure or control the addiction but you will know that you certainly did not cause it. You are a good person you just need to find yourself again and get some of your lost self esteem back. We have all isolated ourselves from others because of the A's addiction and put on a false front to the outside world. You can confide on this board anytime and know that we have all been in the same situation and you have our trust. Something that is really hard to place in others who are not living in your situation. Contact your local al-anon organisation they will help strengthen your recovery. Big hugs from Australia and nice to meet you. Luv Leo x

mebjk · Senior Member

Hello, Sondee,
We are so happy that you have found us. This is the right place for you to be.
Thank you for your honesty. I can relate to what you have written. It reminds me of the insanity of alcoholism that we have all lived with here.
Blessings,
Keep coming back! It works!
mebjk

jrtjosey · ~*Service Worker*~

You just told my story, keep coming back. This is a great group of people and I have grown so much in the last year. it does get better.

Josey

Sondee · Member

Wow! I did not expect so many replies. I'm over-whelmed actually by your warm welcome. More than anything, I'm comforted by the knowledge that each of you really does understand. I've felt alone for too long. I must say, however, that I also feel sad, thinking about the idea that you have all known the loneliness, the confusion, the darkness, and the pain. I feel sad for all of us. I don't know how to get past the sadness and the loneliness; I guess that will take some time.

I'm really hesitant about finding an Alanon group in my town, but I will pray and think about it. It's pretty remarkable that I even posted here. I just thought I'd give it a try because there's total anonymity. Man, I have issues!

Thank you all for the warm welcome. You probably know how much it means to me--since you've "been there."

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Sondee: I have been in this group since the end of December and it truly has helped me. I hope you will choose to go to the meetings here they are held twice a day. You will soon see a big difference in your life. You can also pop into chat. I know you will learn many many tools that will help you. I do not think it is an issue of staying/leaving in the beginning. I think its about learning to take care of you. Eventually you will get clear on what you need to do. Believe me no one here will tell you what to do which is such a blessing. I have gone to the butchers to buy bread so much in my life, allowed others to bully me with advice that had no place for me. That is one reason I keep coming back here because I do get acceptance, love, and compassion which I need desperately to get through my days.

I hope to get to know more about you and your life in time.

Maresie.

Flora123 · Senior Member

Hi Sonee,

Welcome to alanon.

Now that you have made the first step - why not come into the chat room? You will find that, although we all share the misery alcoholism can cause, we also find we can have fun - we are recovering, you see, getting our lives back.

Last night, I went to my face to face meeting - I have been in alanon for 5 years, but, recently, have not felt like going to meetings. Anyway, someone there said, "I am not here for a makeover - there is nothing wrong with me, I just need to recover the person I used to be."

I think that is what we are doing, little by little, one day at a time, getting back our personalities, taking control of our lives, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.

Hope you find some of the strength and hope I have found, here, on this site, and at the face to face meetings. We are not perfect, some of the f2f meetings have left me cold, but, if you open up your heart and mind, some little bit of the program will enter and help you.

Lots of love,

Flora
xxxx

Sondee · Member

First, I want to say this: all of you are the most gracious, compassionate, understanding people I've come across in a long, long time. I'm sure you know exactly how much that means to me and to all other new members. Thank you.

Second, I love the idea of "recovering myself." What a good line! I don't want to be made-over; I want to be recovered. After two (plus) decades of beating myself up, I just hope I can find the old me.

Lynn, Megan, Maria, Leo, Mebjk, Josey, Maresie, Flora, Lynn, and everyone -- thank you for the warm welcome. Thank you for your journeys; I look forward to sharing with you and to learning from you and to comforting you in turn when you need safe arms. I know I have an awful lot to learn. I will try to keep myself from running away. (I can only hope that last sentence makes sense.) Again, thank you all.

Sonya

Sondee · Member

P.S. My A is actually not drunk for the first evening in a long time, so I need to go spend time with him. I won't be able to attend the chat. Chances are good, however, that I will be able to attend tomorrow night. Thanks for the invitation!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.