The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was sitting here thinking how much my A has affected me without me even realizing it over the last 8 years of my life. We werent together for all 8 years - but the up and down rollercoaster of "I want to be with you - I cant be with you - I love you - I cant love you - etc etc etc" affected me more than I ever knew. He was always dictating my feelings, my actions, my life without him even being around. For the first time in close to ten years - my life is MY LIFE. Being an owner of a business and having this new job has put so much energy into my step. I started swimming again - this is something that brought so much joy and challenge into my life since I was nine - and I havent been actively participating in it since I was 22 - 7 years later I am competing in my first meet this upcoming weekend.
It amazes me that I finally let go of my ex EMOTIONALLY and my life is so full - things I didnt have time for I now have plenty of time for - EVEN with 3 jobs!! I have swam everyday since I started my new job and I have noticed that it makes me day so much better when I do. I even have time for this new relationship I am in - and its fulfilling - there is no drama, only kindness and happiness - AND SUPPORT!!
Whats the difference? I stopped feeling bad for myself. I stopped thinking that I wasnt special enough that he didnt want me anymore - like I did for the last 8 years. I am special enough for me and thats all that matters. My swimming matters. It IS my life.
YAHOO! Way to go Cyn! I have been reading your posts for a little while and it is so great to hear how wonderful things are for you! It gives us all hope! I am still working on that stinking thinking and I also have made progress. I am not there yet but I know I will get there. When you get busy...u get better!
That's what life is all about!!!! You go girl!!!!!
I've been procrastinating on joining my club that has a pool too. I think today is the day I am going to go over and get a membership and begin swimming too I don't compete but I need the exercise and good mental health it brings me.
So happy for some good news here,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Cyn: thank you for the reminder, no dramarama. I would like that I think today. my life has generally been a dramarama because of course my parents were like that every day was drama for them. I usued to think I thrived in chaos now I want no more of it. Of course cleaning up my own mess and moving on is a real task. I am so happy you have achieved so much in such a short time. I am glad that you were able to escape and have a sold ground to walk on.
Hello Cyn so glad everything is going well and you love your job. you go girl !!!!
I don't compete but I need the exercise and good mental health it brings me.