The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i have been slugging around lately and i feel like all i do is complain and worry. so the past few days i have decided to let go of it. there's nothing i can do or say to make my dad change. i don't deserve to be unhappy. thinking of him, what he is doing to himself and us makes me sad and unhappy. i am trying to think of him less and less each day. hopefully it will get to the point where all i think about were the positive times with him (i'm not sure if it is healthy to live in that denial and fantasy-but it sounds like a good idea right now). i'm going to let go of complaining, knowing nothing is going to change. today is a new day! and tomorrow is another! i'll take it one day at a time. thanks for listening always
I find that "When I got busy, I got better too" either by working on crafts, watching something good on TV, doing things in my home that I've been procrastinating about too really helps. It makes me humble to realize that my life's not always "so put together" either so rather than worrying about others, I make sure my side of the street is clean figuratively.
By the time I finish sweeping my side of the street, I am tired and can sit down and appreciate all the work I've done and sit and enjoy my cleanliness.
Hope it helps,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Ithink getting busy helps. I also think grieving helps. I do a lot of grieving and focusing on issues. Some things like parents take decades to resolve. At the same time I try to set reasonable goals for myself to deal with. I have a plan a,b,c.
I can't say there is a formula. For me the issues with my parents are still there on many many levels. Right now I am working with a counselor on issues in my adolescence. That helps but I think it may take a long long time.
Letting go of the worry was one of the hardest things to do. But i just got to the point where my dad's addiction was consuming my life. It took along time for me to understand that it was not something I could control. The only person i can control is myself. So i had to learn how to let somethings go. If he doesn't go to work, i can't contol it, if he drinks himself sick, i can't control it, all i can contol is not letting it ruin my life any more than it has. No, i don't think about him everyday now. But, yes i do think about him. Every message posted on this board makes me think of him. Letting go is hard i wish you strenth in your journey.
flint...... i'm going to let go of complaining, knowing nothing is going to change. today is a new day! and tomorrow is another! i'll take it one day at a time. thanks for listening always
rosie________ there u go!!! good advice..... when i keep the focus on me, and working my program, all is so much better.....i have my slips where i am screaming mad and bingeing on food, etc, and i say "ok, today is a NEW start-- NEW day-- i will begin again"....if i take care of my TODAY, tomorrow will be ok-- what i do today, reflects what my tomorrows will be..........take care, rosie
