The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i am not speaking to my dad, but i miss him. i refuse to call him! but i am starting to feel weak. i wonder if maybe i should call him.
the problem is that my dad doesn't like confrentaion and avoids anything that is negative. he is in denial as well. if i call him, he's going to act like nothing is wrong (like i just went on vacation or something). he'll just say "oh hi honey, how have you been, sweetheart. how are the kids"
i want him to know that SOMETHING IS WRONG! but the moment i bring it up, he asks me to leave and ignors me. i think it is better for me not to go through that mess. it would just hurt me too much. i am starting to feel really angry. why won't he listen!!
Do something for yourself today. Something really nice....
I suspect that your Dad does know something is wrong, and he knows what it is. You probably don't have to let him know that. Just my opinion. You are making your point.
Hi, flint, I think we are powerless over getting someone else to talk about or admit to anything! Just because we want it doesn't mean they will talk about it. Actually, I think I am writing this more for myself than for you. It's easy to see when someone else has something going on, but harder to let go of and trust when it is me. Thanks for your share. And thanks so much for being here for all of us! Blessings, mebjk
I think your father's attitude pretty much sums up the way my younger sister is. Nothing is wrong, nothing can be wrong and we cannot discuss anything bad. I find that very frustrating it is an impasse. I have always contended with it. Then I just stopped talking to her. I can at least know that I cannot cross that impasse. A sister is very different from a parent though. I have had many frank conversations with her about our family of origin. I do not need to go much further. I think coming to terms with a parents drinking is far more difficult on some levels because it brings up a lot of issues.
My parents were not there for me as a child and they were not there for me as an adult either. I had to grieve that too. I continue to grieve that too at the same time knowing that means I do not linger around much people who cannot be there for me. My a's mother and brother being one of them. I no longer give till I bleed.
