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The Toxicity In My Family Is Coming At Full Force
(Preview)
Hi everyone. My family is getting worse as the days go by. I asked my grandmother if she would watch my daughter three evening per week until the end of March. She agreed. I was awarded a chance to go through an entreprenurial workshop for women to start my own business. At the time, I was also looking for a...
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kissers
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1
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245
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Need a place to go....
(Preview)
I just need a place to go to say all this. I went to my meeting Tues and will go to another one on Saturday. "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable." My A doesn't drink but I am powerless over him and his actions. He wants to talk about the details of the...
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nmike
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8
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356
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A non-alanon gripe
(Preview)
Had a bad night at work - at the one job that I dont HAVE to be at. I am giving of my time here to finish out the swim season so this team doesnt lose a head coach in the middle of the year. I got frustrated with 3 of my swimmers not working hard in practice and stopped them in the water, looked at them...
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Cyn
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11
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400
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Keeping it simple/moving day
(Preview)
Hi ((((((((((((((roomies))))))))))))),
I make no claims to this piece of wisdom. It came from my daily email from todaysgift@hazeldon.org. This seems to hit home as the meetings and chats we seemed a little overwhelmed this week. Thought it could help us all:
TODAY'S THOUGHT IS:
Som...
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Karilynn
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5
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386
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Feeling worn out
(Preview)
My adult daughter A voluntarily checked herself into detox on Monday. The last couple of days have been kind of tough with the physical aspects of detox. Anyway she wants to stay a couple more days and her psychiatrist thinks she should be out of there tomorrow and into a 28 day rehab facil...
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MFran
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1
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220
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torturing myself...
(Preview)
i just recently have no contact with my dad. he is an A who chose drinking over his family.i think i am torturing myself. i keep thinking about my dad. i wonder what he is doing, where he is, what he's thinking, who he's with, how he is doing...blah blah blah.
i know that he isn't thinking of me, and...
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flintfeet
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5
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438
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Couldn't stop the fight last night
(Preview)
Living with a laid off alcoholic is draining my energy. I don't know how long I can take this and how long I can keep avoiding a fight. Last night when I walked in the door, my husband was of course drunk. He wasn't stumbling around, which I would've preferred because then at least he would just pass out. He...
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Lindy
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4
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384
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expectations will get ya.....
(Preview)
Why I fired my secretary.....
Last Week Was My Birthday And I Didn't Feel Very Well Waking Up That Morning. I Went Downstairs For Breakfast Hoping My Wife Would Be Pleasant And Say, "Happy Birthday!", And Possibly Have A Present For Me.
As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning, Let Alone...
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bobump
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7
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319
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Prayers
(Preview)
Got this in an email and thought it was rather nice. Feel free to insert the Higher Power of your choice
Monday Wash Day Lord, help me wash away all my selfishness and vanity, so I may serve you with perfect humility through the week ahead. Tuesday Ironing Day Dear Lord, help me iron out al...
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kismetstrand
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2
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241
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my kids are cheated!
(Preview)
my kids are being cheated!!
it is my father who is doing this to them. he used to be involved with them. he would drink occasionally, then more and more and now he has gotten so bad that we don't talk to him anymore. he is never sober! so we have no contact with him. it's not good for them & not goo...
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flintfeet
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3
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318
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spirits in the material world
(Preview)
Something in this morning's meeting reminded me of an expression I picked up along the way & clung close to my heart always. I have been called an old soul, born with a sense of an ability to listen & be empathetic & even transmute other's pain, picking up...
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kitty
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4
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462
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I feel like I'm losing it...
(Preview)
I have really been struggling emotionally these past few days with my "a" and our relationship as some of you know. I have been feeling some real intense mood swings the last couple of weeks. I get bluesy at least once a month , but I've never really had this overwhelming feeling of s...
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twinmom2
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5
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425
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My Story
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I am new to the forum but not new to addiction. My name is Carla, and I'll try to explain in a nutshell my story. I come from a broken home with an alcoholic father that abused us kids and my mom. He abandoned us for an 18 yr old girl( I was 14 then). 21 years later, he called and wanted to speak with m...
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JCSunshine
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7
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349
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feeling so empty
(Preview)
16 years ago my alcoholic husband went to AA and got sober.He has been sober ever since.The relationship seems to have had it's ups and downs but this time it has really hit the bottom.He met someone online,another recovering alcoholic and he wants to persue that relationship.Soon as we can se...
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diane53
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12
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479
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Newbie wanting to vent...
(Preview)
I had a hard time finding a site I felt would be helpful to post on.
I would appreciate some input as I have noone to discuss this with at the moment.
My A wife and I have been really struggling for the last 4-5 years. One seperation (her idea after a drunken fling with a bar buddy), many fig...
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rtexas
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11
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439
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Opted out of the fight last night
(Preview)
My alcoholic (but won't admit it) husband has been laid off now for six weeks. He has been cooking supper and doing dishes, which I appreciate and have told him. Yesterday, he asked me when I would be home for supper. I told him around 5:15. I picked up my son at his after school program and didn't get home u...
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Lindy
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4
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346
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i took the 12steps to the latrine
(Preview)
i took the 12 Steps to the latrine
last night i decided i was going to tile my master bathroom floor....'
i dug up all the old linoleum tiles, and i had the floor nice and clean and ready to go!!!
things were going GREAT till i got around having to "tile around the toidie" and thats when thi...
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rosie light shines
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9
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362
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Advice needed
(Preview)
Hi!
I read the book 'Women Who Love Too Much' & recognised myself in it. Being attracted to 'wrong' men... etc.
The author suggests joining Al-Anon or something similar. I'm not sure if I 'qualify' for going there. What do you think?
I don't have an alcoholic in my immediate family, except f...
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learning76
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8
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283
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What AA/AlAnon affilities? are you involved with?
(Preview)
Half Moon? Sober in the Sun? anyone join any of these organizations?
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Barbara
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5
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307
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Thank you and absence
(Preview)
Hello everyone,
Just a quick note to explain I won't be replying much for a while. I have a reoccuring eye problem called optic neuritis, can be stress related, a side effect of MS or my body just randomly attacking a nerve for no reason. In 4 years they have not found an answer and there is no medi...
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Jennifer
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4
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363
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Absolute Craziness
(Preview)
So I get home from work, pick up our daughter to run an errand and return home to this:
A: "There's a meeting tonight so I had my beer and I'm going to the meeting, what do you think about that?"
ME: "Fine with me, enjoy"
I'm thinking, how crazy is this? What on earth was he trying to prove? ...
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Nettie
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4
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296
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drunken monekys (for newbies)
(Preview)
Talking to a drunk person is like banging your head against a brick wall. Maybe, the wall makes more sense... eventually the wall will tell you, "yeah this does hurt, if you simply surrender, maybe I won't make u pass out w/ a concusion."
Imagine working in a day care for ten yrs... ...
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kitty
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6
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343
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And so it begins
(Preview)
And here we go. I start the f2f meetings, one time and he's already starting. Wanting to know what's going on with "us". I explained that I'm trying to better myself, physically by working out and mentally by going to the meetings. That I needed to find serenity, as they say....
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Nettie
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4
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272
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Easy Does It comes to mind this morning
(Preview)
Sometimes I want to rush things (well ok alot of the time) and Im currently being reminded that its out of my control. I thought my mouth was getting better but no last night I lost another bloodclot. Back to the iced coffee this morn, mushy food for dinner, etc. Not working out either at Curves or WATP. I w...
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Barbara
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3
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281
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Thank you for the encouragement
(Preview)
Hello Group,
I just wanted to thank you all for your support and encouragement. It has been a grounding force in my life to read your posts and to understand that there is hope and happiness could lie a head for me. I spent my first night away from my "a" i did better than I thought I would.&n...
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twinmom2
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2
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213
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anyone else have trouble getting to those nighttime meetings after working all day?
(Preview)
Just cannot get myself back out of the house after working a fullday and stopping at the gym on the way home. Every once in a while I tell myself I'll return to 2 weekday night meetings but just cannot get myself to them. Anyone else relate? Its dark, its cold, etc.
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Barbara
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6
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349
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Miss you guys
(Preview)
I miss you all!! I cant get on the chat room at work - and I dont get home until 10pm everynight and I go right to bed...
Only 60 someodd more days of this schedule!!
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Cyn
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3
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296
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Boundarylessness
(Preview)
I think maybe my HP meant for me to hook up with my boyfriend to point out my boundarylessness and how little I do self care. I get absolutely furious with my boyfriend about his boundarylessness and how it affects us. Currently our lawn mower is not working and it is because he lent it to a friend wh...
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maresie
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5
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407
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Drinking and Driving
(Preview)
Hi,
I would just like some input or experiences with your A's drinking and driving. My A had figured out this morning that he didn't have enough liquor to get him through the night and was going to the car to drive into town (we live in the country about 25min out of town) anyways I had the keys to bo...
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Stormstayed
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6
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426
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Just wanted to share this...
(Preview)
Hi Everyone!
I just wanted to share my latest favourite song. I find it is a great spirit raiser and very motivating! Do try to download it and have a listen, I have included the lyrics below.
"Proud" Sung by Heather Small
I look into the window of my mind Reflections of the fears I kn...
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Feather
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1
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305
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Very Hurt
(Preview)
HI.. Its been forever it seems like since i have posted here.. Alot has been happening and have had alot on my plate.. In Nov i was in a bad car accident.. I was hit by two cars.. Still have fears and stuff from that.. :ashamedstill have nightmares about all of it.. :c...
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AngelBearPoet
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11
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354
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smiles
(Preview)
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over...
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franB
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4
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299
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Hungry! Back to the start - NO Coffee for me this morn! argh
(Preview)
IF I DONT GET SOME MEAT INTO MY BODY SOON IM GONNA COLLAPSE! Honest to God! I got on the scale this morning and my weight is below goal! Its below where a doctor told me to stop! Ive been having cereal, yogurt, pudding, shakes, etc. I NEED MEAT! I want my "crazy eating habit" life back! Ok so they tell you in th...
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Barbara
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4
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432
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First time f2f
(Preview)
So, I went to my first f2f meeting in our new town last night. I was scared to death. I walked in to the building and it was packed. People were loud and just stared at me. I finally walked in to an office where I was greeted by two very nice women who asked if I was there for Al-Anon....
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Nettie
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4
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301
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being powerless is NOT being helpless
(Preview)
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=1271>.
Owning Our Power
We need to make a distinction between powerlessness and owning our power.
The first step in recovery is accepting powerlessness. There are some things we can't...
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rosie light shines
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0
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245
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patience
(Preview)
There have been people that come in to the room and are angry but they take it out on people in the room and i don't think that is right. It is hard to help someone that is so angry. I feel the whole room gets angry because of the person and I really don't think people need for people to be getting mad. We c...
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nycbt
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7
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375
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anyone from MA going to Informed
(Preview)
Informed Women Healthy Women seminar in Marlboro May 13th? I attended the past 2 yrs and thought they were worthwhile.
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Barbara
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0
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208
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A new week
(Preview)
Well a new week has started. I don't even know what I feel this week. After him using a couple of days last week--we really had some good talks, but I still don't feel like he has accepted things--His lack of control!!! I was a little optimistic last week, but after this weekend I just don't k...
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hudsond
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2
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228
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Feeling Better!
(Preview)
I just wanted to say that I actually went through the day yesterday without crying all day long! Early yesterday morning, deep inside, I heard - "Just give it to God". God was speaking to me and I knew it! A beautiful peace covered me inside and out! I can breath again! You know...
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ris
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2
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273
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More confused
(Preview)
So, I spent some time reading posts this morning and I think I'm more confused now than I was before. Instanity is being honest with our A about the affects their addiction has on us? That last night after "a couple beers", more like four just in the final 1/4 of the game and God only knows how...
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Nettie
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7
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395
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when i am tempted to feel sorry for me
(Preview)
Today's thought is:
If you go around thinking you are being cheated, life becomes very unpleasant. --Felix Salten
Sometimes we feel cheated that we have been given this darn disease to cope with. Why us? Why can't we just be like normal people? Why did we have to get into so much trouble and pai...
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rosie light shines
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7
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367
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Rehab
(Preview)
I am fairly new to the Alanon program I need some ESH since my A husband is coming home in the next few days he is been in a Rehab since Jan.4 I am happy for him and yet i am nervous can someone give me some pointers on what to do or not to do on my part? thanks
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lory
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4
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320
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Acceptance
(Preview)
Hello group,
Thank you to all who answered my post on Friday. I do feel like I'm making progress in learning to accept that this disease is only part of the problem. The other part of the problem is me, and my desire to control everything in my life. Some days I am so angry at my...
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twinmom2
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3
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391
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there may be another trial
(Preview)
just spoke with my mother who isnt making sense to me right now either. She said there may be another trial when brother gets finished with Bridgewater Feb 28th. Guess he's up on 2 charges. If guilty there may be more jailtime. He's talking about a 1/2way house. They want to send him for Anger Management...
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Barbara
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5
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332
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a little bit of positivity
(Preview)
i can see a little bit how me and my a's separation is a good thing. before i asked him to leave, he was slacking on going to meetings. because i atended alanon meetings at the same time and place as his meetings, i too was slacking on my meetings. if he wasn't going i didnt go. the past week i can truely see how...
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notsonew1111
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3
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251
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Growing
(Preview)
I am growing so much lately. I am on step three. I have become an op and been able to help alot of people out. It is a great feeling. My husband and I are getting along. I am having a good life at this moment. My job is going good. -- Edited by nycbt at 13:07, 2006-02-06
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nycbt
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3
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293
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Please.. I really need advice!
(Preview)
Just posting to say this is the first time I've been on this site and I REALLY need advice, I love my dad sooo much and I miss him being the dad and me being the kid! I don't know what to do to help him!!!! He's trying so many things, the bible, rehab, and AA. Am I just selfish wanting him to grow up?? HELP Reply if...
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jkl
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6
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331
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Realism
(Preview)
I play a computer game, Shanghai, it is a match the tiles game and when you clear the board a little saying pops up. Today, the saying was "Your realism will avoid unpleasant surprises."
Sometimes I often think the timing of these sayings is pretty funny. Last night as I was tryin...
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kismetstrand
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7
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320
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do you journal? and when did you start?
(Preview)
Ive often thought of journaling (again). Im so afraid of ppl finding what Im writing though.
Do you journal? do you find it helpful? When/how did you start?
When you read Daily Meditation books do you find yourself highlighting certain parts?
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Barbara
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5
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490
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he`s so weird!
(Preview)
My A Rarely calls. Called tonight to see what was going on. told him I was having friends over for superbowl(I live in Detroit area so very big this year)Called 3 times to ask me if I had a guy over...told him yes,I had 3 guys over but they had wives with them...each time he hung up he said he loved me...hasn`...
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allison
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3
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293
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Revelation! Im not crazy! Even our son is picking up on what husband says
(Preview)
and son notices Dad says 1 thing 1 minute and completely opposite the next! The words coming from his mouth are twisted! But at least Im not the only one hearing them! Im not going nuts! (well not more so - lol)
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Barbara
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2
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306
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taking care of dad?
(Preview)
Hi My dad is an alcoholic, trying so hard to recover, but His life sucks so bad, I can't help thinking that I would just want to get drunk if I were in his shoes. He's 54 or 55, got divorced from his wife of almost 30 years, got 2 DD's doesn't have a license or a job, bouncing checks left and right, owes everyone...
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jkl
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2
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304
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Delusional
(Preview)
He is drinking very heavily constantly now. He has become delusional. He is accusing me of cheating on him (which I am not) but if he doesn't knock this stuff off, I may start just to give him something real to complain about.
Is this a normal progress of the addiction that their brain cel...
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ditto
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6
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328
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ok so they have those willing to be sponsors raise their hands at the meetings
(Preview)
but beyond that how do we know their backgrounds? How do we know who will be best for us? This meeting has ppl raise their hands before we break into groups. Im looking for a female with an active drinking husband and maybe another family member. Someone who knows the jail and rehab systems. How do I find t...
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Barbara
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7
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381
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What exactly is a sponser
(Preview)
Hi
I have been to 3 meetings, although I do visit this site daily. This might seem ignorant but what exactly does a sponser do, when do you get one and how will I benefit etc. as yet no one has mentioned sponser's at the meetings.
Also at meeting...
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penny
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4
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423
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GO STEELERS!
(Preview)
GO STEELERS!!!
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sdisnie
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4
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242
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poem/song lyrics to comfort someone just admitted to rehab/jail
(Preview)
Since Im bad at words is there a poem/song lyrics I can print out to enclosed in a card to my brother who just entered rehab/jail?
What about lyrics for a mother who just had to commit their child?
Id like to send them both a little comfort - thank you
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Barbara
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1
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1681
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am I enabling?
(Preview)
Am I enabling? I don't buy liquor, look for it, nor spill it out. I refuse to wash his liquor cups, or messes. If he breaks something accidently, he cleans it up. If he passes out in an awkward position or on the floor, I leave him there. I never wake him for work, no do his c...
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DeAnna
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4
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729
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Why is it with A's We have to leave them alone, but in the real world......
(Preview)
Okay, sometimes when I sit here and read posts, my mind starts turning with all kinds of questions. I want to see what kinds of answers I get from this one:
Why is it that we are supposed to completely step back from addicts and let them do what they want, chose their own paths, make their own decis...
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sdisnie
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7
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367
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ever attend a religious service and REALLY identify with the priest/etc?
(Preview)
Went to 4pm Mass yesterday. Priest has alot of 12step background which is why I left my church and joined his back in Oct. Definately identified myself w/him yesterday. He was speaking of rehab, Letting Go and that we can still have Hope. I have just never identified myself at Church in the past as much a...
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Barbara
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4
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279
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