The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This afternoon my husband rang around 4.00pm and asked would I like to go up to the yacht club for a meal with friends as he had to discuss our aligning block of land with them. I said yes - what time he replied 6.00pm will be home shortly. At 5.40pm I rang and said what are you doing? He said I told you about 6.30pm, I was firm and said no you did not what exactly are you doing? His reply I am helping a friend with a car. Told him I was past the stage where I sat around waiting for him. He arrived home around 6.15pm I was ready and he needed to have a shower. At 6.25pm I said "When you are ready?" in a nice sarcastic voice. There was no conversation in the car and I told him I would be coming home around 9.00pm. The reply whatever. We pulled up at the yacht club he told me if I was going to park the car to do it properly I said fine moved the car and he then said "You reckon I have a problem". Well guess what I said I'm not coming in! He said I don't give a f..k what you do and I am at home happy with my two dogs and cooking my own dinner. Don't know whether he had been drinking or not but after 20 years I am not going to be spoken to like a piece of s...t. Feel really good I would have been very uncomfortable playing happy families when it was false. Luv Leo xx
It's all very yucky stuff, but this time, you were able to make a decision - for you - and let him wallow in his decisions. Hope you had a wonderful dinner at home, in peace, and away from the chaos and destruction of alcoholism...
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I am so proud of you. You are a great example for those of us who could use a little extra strenght and courage to treat ourselves as we deserve to be treated!
Thanks for the example! Keep on putting one foot in from of the other!
I deal with this stuff all the time the constant resentment the back and forth on avaialbility and the utter selfishness of the A. Last weekend was very difficult. I set limits I will not do that again. I also set back my expectations. I do not expect him to behave well anymore. I only expect me to take care of me and that is what I do. The social stuff is very difficult for me. I used to go to his mother's with him. That was really me babysitting his mother while the a and his brother got stoned. I stopped that. It took me like 4 years to stop taking it personally and see it as a drug thing rather than anything to do with me. I took it so incredibly personally that he preferred marjuana to me.
I am glad that you are taking care of yourself and are prepared to set boundaries. I am also glad that you are coming here and sharing about it you are not letting it just be silent and feel bad about it.
