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which works better
(Preview)
Which works better for kids (under 10) affected by the active A when they are exposed to it every day (I can't hide the verbal abuse that goes with it). Alanon or counseling
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2D1S
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5
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324
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Unable to connect
(Preview)
I tried to log in to the chat but was unable. This is the error message I received:
Unable to connect : com.ms.security.SecurityExceptionEx : cannot connect to "irc.mipchat.net"
Can someone help me?
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Nettie
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2
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286
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from all sides
(Preview)
It is coming at me from all sides...feeling a bit hopeless. My husbum is an A...sister uses Meth...mother and father in law and my mother are the worst of enablers and they are constantly making excuses for the addicts behavior (husbum or sister's). No other siblings other than her. I can't seem to get...
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2D1S
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4
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326
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longish and random. sponsor?
(Preview)
Well I am going back to a meeting tonight. It has only been two days but I feel like I have to try a bunch of different meetings and see what suits me. It is so easy to make up excuses as to why I shouldn't go. I read the little packet on sponsorship. I am not sure when to get a sponsor o...
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paintthinnr
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3
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302
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got my results
(Preview)
Hey everyone:
I am NEGATIVE!!!!!!! Thank you for all your prayers.
Kim
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Kim
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14
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386
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thoughts
(Preview)
Has anyone ever just wished that their A would get killed in a drinking and driving crash and just get it over with. Of course not injuring anyone else. Or one of the times they pass out in the car...they would just freeze to death.
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2D1S
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7
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349
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Father in Law
(Preview)
As some of you may know from message board posts or chat I have a real problem with my father in law. He hates me and I hate him. He is an obnoxious A. He is a sociopath and a real user. As a child he took my A out to bars and put him in harms way as young as 9. He has always used my A o...
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lebe27
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4
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301
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looking for a sponser
(Preview)
I am in a bit of a bind ........ I don't have anyone to watch my kids to go for the moment to any F2f meeting, there for I am looking for a sponser. CAN ANYONE HELP ? that would be great.
Thanks.
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Mercedes Dekkers
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2
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241
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The up and down rollar coaster
(Preview)
Last week was so horrible I was on this board a lot. I printed out some articles on how to tell if someone is a drunk and I underlined a bunch of it and put it on the coffee table where my laid off alcoholic husband could see if when he finally rolled himself out of bed on Friday morning/afternoon. I threatene...
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Lindy
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4
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418
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chat room
(Preview)
I cant get the chat room to work. When I click on chat room...I get a white box but it says it cannot connect. I am confused
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2D1S
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2
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267
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if I'd keep my mouth shut I could avoid this drama
(Preview)
this is long but I had to vent.....
I'm sitting here waiting to take the 13 yo to school. It's 12:25 and the wife can be home by 12:05. She walks in the door with beer and Mikes hard whatever. I told her, I'm waiting to talk our daughter to school and your finding time to get alcohol? She says she di...
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bobump
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8
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462
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dysfunction
(Preview)
My life is filled with so many dysfunctional people around me that it is so difficult to find support and help. A friend of mine agreed to help me this evening by watching my kids while my A and I went to marriage counseling. She called me on the way home from work and gave me a huge guilt trip about how...
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2D1S
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6
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412
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scared and lonely
(Preview)
I was just wondering if anyone might be able to help me figure out what is going on. My A and I are separated, as many of you know. It was a decision I made when he was hospitalized in December. After he was released he went to stay at his Dad's, started and IOP and is going to meetings. He frequently asked abou...
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confused
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5
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379
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Flattened
(Preview)
I'm here, I'm trying really hard, it's not working.
My deceased Grandmother thought it neccesary to include in her will my name and her decision not to provide anything for me ... I thought of Jennifer but I make no provision for the daughter of my deceased son for reasons best known to me. Thanks for t...
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Jennifer
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4
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249
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I don't know what to do
(Preview)
My A is not a family member, just a long term friend.
Her physical condition is awful. She's 65, probably weighs less than 100lbs, although she is about 5'8" tall. She can barely stand and or walk. Her counseler finally talked her into going into a detox center where they would build her back up so that...
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Lea
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6
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309
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Letting go and letting God....
(Preview)
Letting go and letting God....
I was listening to someone tonight on letting go and letting God...and I wanted to share this.
It's another of those spiritual laws, that letting go lets God. We can actually inhibit the answer to a prayer by wanting something too much. That can tend toward lust, and...
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alanon_2002
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3
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250
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secrets and lying
(Preview)
I hate secrets. I don't like lying. When I was growing up I was told by my mother to lie. I lied to my teachers, I lied to my grandmother. I learned to lie a lot. It was very easy.
Little kids are not emotionally mature enough to know about lying. There is a difference betweem lying about a surprise b...
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mollyann
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6
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596
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ITS HARD TO STOP ACTING AS i HAVE IN THE PAST
(Preview)
I thought that if I stopped enabling the alcoholic in my life, the drinking would stop. When the drinking seemed to get worse instead of better, once again I thought I had done something wrong. I was still trying to control alcoholism and its symptoms, Alanon helped me to learn that I am powerless, I can...
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gardengal
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2
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245
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brother didnt make it to Bridgewater - chestpains went to Lemuel Shattuck Hosp
(Preview)
On the way to Bridgewater brother complained of chest pains. They brought him to Lemuel Shattuck. He spoke w/my mother. She says he sounds broken. They had him in leg irons & cuffs. He is up on assault & battery charges, not domestic abuse charges (which is the same, right?) He wants my mother t...
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Barbara
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7
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368
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First Meeting
(Preview)
I attended my first F2F meeting last night. It was a little strange. I liked it though. I didn't talk. I was feeling shy. The thing that surprised me was that everyone was talking about themselves. No one mentioned their A. Not once. So that got me...
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paintthinnr
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7
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283
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Cowboy Washes Cow in Carwash
(Preview)
Hi Ya'll ,
Ya know we had the discussion in chat about TX and carwashes? Well , here's the picture I was talking about . Thought I might share it with ya'll. LOL!!!!
Love each and everyone of ya, thought ya might get a laugh outta this!
Jonibaloni21
-- Edited by jonibal...
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jonibaloni21
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5
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442
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How do you help a friend?
(Preview)
How do you begin to talk to your best friend about his problem when you know he is an alcoholic and he doesn’t know that you know?
I live in the USA and he lives in Scotland, but we do spend a lot of time together. We work together via the internet, and have traveled extensively. We went to New Zealand last y...
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7713Elizabeth
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4
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250
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how fast i spin out of control ESH please
(Preview)
OMG I acted like such an idiot today. My A seemed to push just the right buttons and everything that I have been keeping in just came flying out of my mouth. Looking at actions and not listening to words, I have been keeping it all in. All the stuff that he says he is going to do, but not doing, well I let is all o...
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confused
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5
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322
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Made some big realizations this weekend...
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone,
Just wanted to say thanks again to those who posted some ESH on my last Friday post. I did take the kids to my mom's. Funny that his house guests did not show up. Of course he was angry with me when I arrived home and started packing; which I don't get because he...
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twinmom2
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3
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234
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Campral
(Preview)
My A is taking Campral now. It is completely new to me...something I've never heard of before. But it is supposed to help alcoholics overcome their dependency. Anyone else had any experience with it?
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ashraven
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3
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326
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Sponsor
(Preview)
Hey all,
Jcon here, need some help. I am looking for a sponsor and the meetings that i can attend I am the only guy there. Need some suggestions or help in maybe finding an online sponsor temporarily until i can get one where i live or something. Any and a...
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jcon
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3
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287
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Newbie
(Preview)
Hi all!
I am a little scaird to write this down becuase I am not very good with words. Here goes.
I am in a relationship with a man that has been clean and sober for over 6 years. He is a miracle! I also have A father who also uses drugs.
My dilemma lately has been that I have been obe...
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jmath31
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7
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416
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Trying Hard
(Preview)
My husband is now home for rehab. I am having such mixed emotions. Just can't even look at him and, not sure how I feel. I realize the road ahead is a very delicate one. Many changes have taken place within me. Trying to focus what is best for me has become cloudy. Trying to put the needs and wants of my childr...
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Andrea12
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2
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238
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What the heck is his deal now?! I just need to focus on me and my kids
(Preview)
Thanks to all of you for your wonderful caring and sharing your own personal stories. I look forward to reading them daily.
Okay, remember, he's the one who told me over the phone that he wanted a divorce, he didn't want to come back home, he didn't want me to fly out to see him, he told me...
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sdisnie
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4
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313
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I Could Use some ESH
(Preview)
I go to 3 different F2F meetings and each one has a different effect on me. One I feel like I can say anything. The second one I have trouble saying anything at all... so I ususally remain quiet. The third one is sort of in-between. I have have phone lists for all of them.&...
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sandie123
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5
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396
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Step book
(Preview)
Can anyone recommend a step book that i could buy. I would really like to start writing and getting a sponsor.
thanks
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jmath31
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2
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327
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Anti-Depressants
(Preview)
I was wondering if I should try taking a doctor prescribed anti-depressant until I have some more of the program to build on. I try to stay away from prescribed drugs when possible but I'm feeling really down and it's starting to affect me physically and spiritually. Any experience anyo...
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Kim2
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8
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398
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A bit of reflecting
(Preview)
I went to Florida this weekend to visit my new friend who I met in Chicago. I had a blast - he took me to Sanibel Island for the weekend which was gorgeous, bought me two dozen roses, treated me to a terrific trip. We crammed alot in two days - went to the beach both days to watch the sunset, sunri...
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Cyn
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2
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392
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Spiritual, or Religious prayer.
(Preview)
Hi, Been in Alanon for 15 years, & have often wondered about closing with the "Our Father". Finally, a member pointed out that from his position as a non-Christian, this prayer could not be said. I am a Christian , but it disturbs me to see the group, holding hands & saying the "Our Father", &...
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red hook
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8
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1025
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How do I do it?
(Preview)
I want to be able to just say that my husband is a drunk and then just pretend like he doesn't exist. But how do I do that and go on about my days when my daughter can't even have a sleepover with her friends at our house because I never know if or what kind of shape my A will come home in. I can't take the risk that I...
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2D1S
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6
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429
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my mother filed - brother started his 30days at Bridgewater yesterday!
(Preview)
She filed the report. There was enough from talking with my brother to have him arrested for elderly abuse charges without her having to testify.
I called the courthouse to see "what happened" yesterday as my mother called me today to call me a liar, say I knew what was going on when I have no idea, etc....
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Barbara
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2
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244
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my feelings
(Preview)
im really struggling with the whole thing of my a and i separating. i didnt want this, i just wanted peace for the night and for us to stop reacting on eachother. why couldnt i just stop and think before i reacted. right now i feel more miserable then i ever was when the a did relapse. i told him to leave becau...
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notsonew1111
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4
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405
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Doesn't it make U feel like U really were to blame .........
(Preview)
If they finally obtain sobriety when no longer with you?!?!?!? If he finally does it after trying for so many years, I would definately feel, for the rest of my life that it really was me, that only him leaving me meant he could finally be healthy. That would be very hard to live with, especi...
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sdisnie
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8
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344
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divorce?
(Preview)
I am new here and really glad to have found this site. I have been trying to attend meetings but due to lack of assistance/support and a child with medical problems...I often don't have anyone to stay with my child. I have purchased a bunch of the materials and have read them all. I have been...
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2D1S
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4
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485
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Happy Compromise
(Preview)
Just a quick update on the new job. We found a compromise at our last meeting over the weekend. I will work a few Saturdays to learn the business, their products, pricing etc. Then if the fit is comfortable I will give notice at my present job. So see, it does all work out. ...
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marmare
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5
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283
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My Melt down (but we like chocolate melted anyhow...)
(Preview)
I am a woman
therefore, I am emotional
I got home from work today, and the dog got out of her kennel, and had destroyed the house.
My husband was not home
I almost left my marraige over this.
I could go on for pages and pages... would you read it? I wouldn't.
I yelled at God f...
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captcodee
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3
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287
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|
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A Nice Day & Prayer Request
(Preview)
I think yesterday had to be one of the nicest days since my A got clean and sober. We woke up and my A made us breakfast, we watched a movie, just laying in bed. Then when I wrote the grocery list, he volunteered to go shopping with me. It's been years since we went grocery shopping toget...
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marmare
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4
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361
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coming home from rehab
(Preview)
Today my husband will be home from rehab. Not sure how to feel about it, he has been gone about two months...took him awhile to go to detox after I threw him out. Kids really want him to come home. I am not sure at all how to react to the situation. I am still angry, hurt, disappointed and just down right p'd. R...
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Andrea12
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6
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281
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An article about self....
(Preview)
SELF ESTEEM, SELF LOVE and SELF CENTEREDNESS by Nancy Poitou, M.A., M.F.T.
I have been asked often about what is self-esteem, self-love and self-centeredness. These are very good questions and it is a fine line that separates these concepts.
Self esteem means to hold oneself in high esteem, fe...
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Phil
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1
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329
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ESH
(Preview)
What does "ESH" mean?
Thank you for your help.
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ditto
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2
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734
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'Ex' lover still in the picture? Am I being unreasonable?
(Preview)
Need some help sorting this out. As my ex wife and I are trying to figure out whether we can work things out, we are still living in the same house with our 2 kids. She has moved back to our bedroom a few months ago. A strange living arrangement, I know. (The buyers of our house backed out on the deal, so we st...
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UncleLou
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13
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540
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ticked at myself
(Preview)
I am walking around the house - like a nut - of course everyone else is sitting on their butts not doing a dang thing. And I have to ask myself - "What am I so pissed about - exactly??" OK it isn't that they aren't doing anything cause I could get them involved one way or another if I really wanted too. I am ticke...
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sparkette
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9
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418
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Prayers needed
(Preview)
I will be heading out next week for some time alone to make my final decision, although I think I it is pretty much being made for me every day in his actions. Please pray that I won't be selfish and that I will think of all envolved in this decision to stay or go. It h...
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jrtjosey
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11
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406
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What to do?????
(Preview)
If my A (who is my son), is living with me in a separate guesthouse, goes out and doesn't come home all night sometimes, and I am not ready to make him leave yet, should I just ignore it and not ask any questions? I know he will lie so how do I just let it go so I am not worrying all the time. Most of the time I have be...
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Gailey
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3
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286
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boundaries
(Preview)
I have been looking closely at the issue of boundaries with the A as he is able to blur the boundaries and crash over mine so well. We have been 5 years into a relationship that has been one that has been essentialy boundaryless for me most of the time.
I have bought a my own storyline about h...
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maresie
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8
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457
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anyone know???
(Preview)
i enjoy doing 5k run/walk with friends. so far i have ran for abused wives, cancer, AIDS, children's hospital,...ect. i feel they are a good pick me up and nice time away from the kids, while still helping a good cause.
does anyone know of some sort of 5k run/walk that benefits alcoholic families, fam...
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flintfeet
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3
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640
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just kidding (myself)
(Preview)
First of all, may I just say an enormous thank you to everyone on the boards. I really did not expect the understanding and support that I have received here. I haven't been to a F2F meeting yet, but I plan to go today or tomorrow. (Wednesday is my birthday so I want to go at least once be...
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paintthinnr
|
2
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244
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Me Today
(Preview)
Those of you that have kept up with my crazy insane story, and helped me out with your comments. Thank you, I love you all.
Yesterday my husband told me from 1000 miles away he wanted a divorce, yadayadayada, you know the story. I had called my parents because I really have no one el...
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sdisnie
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4
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253
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STOP THE INTERFERENCE
(Preview)
Today is one of those days when I think I just hate my A husband. Well, hate is a strong word....let's say really, really, really don't like right now.
He is sticking his nose into where it doesn't belong.
He has almost a year of recover...
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sas
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4
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363
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The road we choose.
(Preview)
I figure there are 3 roads that I could take.
1) What if I choose to be on that negative road of despair & hopeless thought, ya know that "you" road, it's "your fault", "you should have"? And what if he too stays on this negative road? Well, I guess then there are tw...
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DeAnna
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2
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354
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Two Monks - Letting Go
(Preview)
This was sent to me from my aunt, I hope it's not too preachy (will leave some of it out) I happen to love the story. Since she knows my on going goal (ok quest) of “letting go” and “detachment” I believe that my HP (God for me) was working when she told me of this and then sent the e-mail
**...
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tea2
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6
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429
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choice/destiny
(Preview)
"You can't control the wind
but you can
set your sails."
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kitty
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9
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346
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double standard
(Preview)
My A who moved out 5 weeks ago is mad at me because I went out with my friends from work last night.we went to the Eagles which really isn`t a bar..it`s a club and even families go there.I had fun had a few drinks and left my car there and got a ride from a sober friend.He has went out with friends on a monthly bas...
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allison
|
8
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360
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taking care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually - ever notice when
(Preview)
Ever notice when things are going well its easier to take care of yourself physically (diet, exercise, water) and the focus is less on spiritually?
But when there's an issue youre more focused emotionally and taking care of yourself physically tends to slide?
Ive noticed that taking care of mys...
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Barbara
|
5
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1537
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for all of you who worry about typos :))
(Preview)
(from typo queen iona54!!)
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rasercreeh at Cmagbirde Utivernisy, it deson't mttear in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taot...
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iona54
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9
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395
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