The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I thought that if I stopped enabling the alcoholic in my life, the drinking would stop. When the drinking seemed to get worse instead of better, once again I thought I had done something wrong. I was still trying to control alcoholism and its symptoms, Alanon helped me to learn that I am powerless, I cannot stop an alcoholic from drinking, If I choose to stop contributing to the problem, I do so because it seems to be the right thing to do, something that will help "me" to feel better about "myself'
When I change my behaviour, the behaviour of those around me may also change, but there is no guarantee that it will change to my liking. Today I am learning to make choices because they are good for me, not because of the effects they might have on others.
It is hard to stop acting as I have in the past. BUT with alanon's support, I can be the one to break the pattern. I can choose to do what I think is right-----------for ME.
"You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life......"
Many of us (myself included) came to alanon because we hoped we would learn how to make the drinker stop... Thankfully it is in the first few meetings that we learn that we can't do that, but we CAN change our attitudes towards their drinking.
I chose to take more of an empathetic (sp??) stance, where I feel sympathy towards his inability to stop. He just can't control it, and neither can I.
Thankfully, I can live with it. God, if he ever stopped drinking, I would be lost. I know how to deal with the drinking, I don't think I could deal with sobriety and all the problems that come with that! I am a healer by nature, I would spend all my time helping him to feel better...LOL
It sure is hard to stop acting as we have in the past! That's how Alanon helps us, with the help of our HP! Keep working the steps, and thanks for the good word today. Very inspiring to me. Blessings, mebjk
Aron 