The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
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Hi, Been in Alanon for 15 years, & have often wondered about closing with the "Our Father". Finally, a member pointed out that from his position as a non-Christian, this prayer could not be said. I am a Christian , but it disturbs me to see the group, holding hands & saying the "Our Father", & to see this member unable to join us. Does anybody experience this?
I was brought up Catholic but do not consider myself religious. Re-examining the prayer from a spiritual - non religious point of view I personally find nothing in it to offend anyone who has a belief in a higher power. There is no mention of Jesus Christ in the prayer. It basically a request to accept God's will, have our basic neccesities taken care of, be kind and tolerant, be granted forgiveness, and be able to forgive. If your friend is unable to join in because he finds these things offensive, pray for him. If he is unable to join in because he is hanging on to religious rules so tightly he is missing out on the true spiritual aspect of his religion, pray for him. If he is able to see past all that and accept the prayer for what it is, nothing more, he will be praying for you. Just my opinion.
I think it may fall under "take what you like and leave the rest". Many groups have stopped using the Lords Prayer at the end of the meetings and use the serenity prayer, it is a group decision.
At least half of the steps make a direct reference to God.
The second tradition states, "For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as he may express himself in our group conscience.
I also choose to think outside the box. I just replace it in my mind with what I believe.
I'm just grateful the 12 steps exist and I do take what I like and leave the rest and I use what I can and leave the rest. No one forces me to attend Alanon meetings, nor do they force any religious views on me.
I kind of liken AA/Alanon to Microsoft/Bill Gates. Microsoft was accused of creating a monopoly. It's not his fault no one was able to invent another OS and market it the same way. Anyone in America can use another operating system/program, there are choices and other operating systems are available. It is what it is. Take it or leave it.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I think that there is a difference between spirituality and religion. I think that there is a difference between a god and a higher power. I am grateful for finding Alanon and the steps because meetings and the tools have made a difference in my life. I am grateful that I found (in therapy) that there is a power greater than myself and it is a higher power and it is one of MY understanding and it is brings me solace. I go to meetings, say the steps, repeat the ending prayer, and turn the volume down on those parts that I do not truly believe in.
redhook, you bring up a good point. The 12 steps groups were started by a group of evangelical Christians, so of course they brought their own spirituality to the program! And there is a difference between spiritual and religious. It makes sense that someone of a different tradition, who is trying to make their way in the program, would have trouble with the prayer. In my regular meeting, we say a different prayer which was decided on by a group conscience. We also use inclusive language for the HP - we say "God" instead of "He." Good luck, and thank you for being here. Blessings, mebjk
Most groups, prior to their closing, say something to the tune of "would all those who care to join me in....."
If the person doesn't feel comfortable in saying the Lord's Prayer with the group, they certainly don't have to.... This definitely falls into the category of "take what you like, and leave the rest"....
Like most things in meetings..... the majority get benefit from what we do.... some don't....
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I was delighted to see this post as it had come up in my home group a couple of years ago. We had a group conscience and decided to close instead with the "Responsibility Pledge" which is
When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help
Let the hand of Al-Anon and Alateen always be there
And let it begin with me.
I think this is a wonderful way to reconfirme our commitment to the program and to "paying it forward"
I feel uncomfortable with the Lord's Prayer and couldn't say why. Examining it line by line, nothing appears to contradict my own spiritual beliefs. Yet the fact that one meeting closes with the Lord's Prayer and another closes with the Serenity Prayer was one of the factors in choosing the one that closes with the SP. So I dunno. I think closing with the Responsibility Prayer is a good idea too.
Thank You ALL so Much. Going to print the responses, & give to my dear friend. He does not at all feel that the prayer is offensive. He knows that it comes from a religious text, & that Muslims, Jews, Hindhus, etc. could also produce neutral prayers. My heart was touched by the group that ends with the Alanon Responsibility Prayer.
