The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am a little scaird to write this down becuase I am not very good with words. Here goes.
I am in a relationship with a man that has been clean and sober for over 6 years. He is a miracle! I also have A father who also uses drugs.
My dilemma lately has been that I have been obessing over the things that my boyfriend does on the internet. He has been looking at porn lately and it really bothers me. I have confronted him about several times in the last month. I tell him how I feel and ask him questions. He gets mad at me because I snoop and see were he has been going online. He says I dont respect his privacy. Which is true. I hate the fact that I obesses about it, and I do, I think about it all the time. There are also past problems that have led me to have trust issues. He has never cheated on as far as I know. Last night I asked him about it again and he totally blew up at me. He works third shift so we were fighting on the phone. In the morning he didnt come home from work. He didnt come home till two in the afternoon and he completly ignored me. I was so upset, I asked him to talk to me and he told me he doesnt want to talk to me. I have a really hard time fighting. I am the type that wants to make up right away and not fight and he is the type to stay mad for days. I have alot of insecurty for many reasons. I am so afraid that I am pushing him away. He really is a great guy and sometimes I am very hard on him.
I went to a meeting tonight but no one was there. Meeting are so hard to come buy in my area and I need one despertly. I feel that I have lost myself to my uncontrollable emotions. I really need to work on steps and improve myself because I dont and havent at all.
Hello , so glad u posted here , pornograpy seems to a problem with alot of A's . not al lthier problems are alchohol related. There are programs for him for his sexual problem. but like alcoholism there is nothing u can do about him can't make him go to the meetings or get help.
Am so sorry that the meeting u went to no one showed up. perhaps it has moved to a diff location. here is the international toll free number for info for you r area 1=888-4alanon . good luck Louise
Welcome. I am new to this myself. I have a question: is he addicted to the internet porn or is it supplemental? Is he less intimate than you are? Are these live people (cybersex) or pictures/movies? Your feelings are certainly valid. But perhaps if you felt more involved, you wouldn't have to take it personally. Have you thought about looking at it together? Or getting a movie and watching it together? Just because he is getting turned on by this does not mean he is not turned on by YOU. There are many films which are made specifically to appeal to women. In the end you might decide this idea icks you out too much. That is fine too. Just something that has been helpful to me.
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**Everyone is doing the best they can from day to day**
Your questions are valid! Your questions also make me realize it really is not that bad. All he looks at is pictures. He does not do cyber sex or go to the raunchy sites. He really only looks at this site, I also thinks he does it more for entertainment. Our sex life is great. He is very good to me. He really is not the problem because he does not have a problem, I am the one that obsses about it when it really is not that big of deal. thank you, you have put things more into perspective
