The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It is coming at me from all sides...feeling a bit hopeless. My husbum is an A...sister uses Meth...mother and father in law and my mother are the worst of enablers and they are constantly making excuses for the addicts behavior (husbum or sister's). No other siblings other than her. I can't seem to get them to understand that if they continue to "save" them from these jams then they can't learn to save themselves. They are constantly interfearing with the natural consequences. They just can't understand that they are hurting the situation more!
My inlaws blame me for "nagging" too much (I actually gave that up a couple years ago) and somehow this has caused their son to need to drink. If I would keep the house cleaner so he would feel better about being here than he wouldn't go drink. (I am terribly overwhelmed with our kids and their needs that "martha stewart for sure doesn't live here".)
My family told me today that maybe if I had been a better sister and helped her out more than she could get her life together. I made the choice to get off the roller coaster ride with my sister. I couldn't take the stress anymore. I am criticized for it though! I was tired of being used by her. I felt I did the right thing for me!
I know that it isn't my fault...but that doesn't make it any easier when fingers are always pointed at you. "I" don't drink period!
I am glad we got to talk about all of this in the chatroom. Please keep us updated. I will say prayers for you and sending positive energy your way. cdb xoxoxoxox (((((2DIS))))
have you heard the alanon 3 c's? You did not cause it, you cannot cure it and you cannot control it.
It being someone elses drinking or drugging.
No matter if your house was designed and maintained by Martha Stewart until an A is in recovery they will use. period. end of story.
It is difficult to deal with people who blame you. I have found in some cases it is impossible to communicate my recovery message to family members who have 2 closed ears and one big open mouth.
Take care of you
In recovery
Megan
__________________
Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
In Alanon they tell us to focus on ourselves. Sometimes that means letting the house go and taking care of ourselves. I can identify with your family in that there are no compliments to be had. In therapy for alcoholism, etc. sometimes they tell us that our families are not safe places for us. Sometimes we have to go elsewhere for support. The famliy of Alanon and meetings might be a better place to have people accept you for who you are.
