Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sdisnie · sdisnie

First of all, I think the whole co-dependent thing is a crock. Everyone has to be dependent (not all the time) but a lot of times in your life. That is why we have friends and family, if you can't ever break down and be needy somethings, it would be a cold cold world. I don't believe I'm totally co-dependent...

marmare · marmare

I haven't been here a lot recently and have missed all of you and the board. First let me tell you that my A is still clean & sober! The grumpiness has worn off and he is being more attentive. My second son was home on leave with his family and they left yesterday to go back to AZ.&n...

bd · bd

Before christmas my sister and i had developed what i believed to be a new relationship. Up to that point we had not talked for over a year. We spent christmas together at my parents and things seemed fine. Over the last few weeks we have made plans numerous times to meet for dinner.&...

nycbt · nycbt

I am getting better. Today I was confortable on the internet but he wanted to go to his friends house and show he friend how to do some cooking. I am lucky he does cook. However while we were walking in the house he ask me when will he be able to have his key back and it was not right that I wouldn't let him have. S...

lin0606 · lin0606

Yesterday at work, a co worker, a woman I don't know very well, came up to me to talk. "You've got teenagers too", she said. "Are you having trouble with power struggles between your husband and son?" I almost blurted out "My husband is a recovering drunk and crack addict. Believe me, his plate is fu...

Rebecca · Rebecca

guys.. this might seem like the stupidest question ever,... but a friend at work asked me it..and i didnt know the answer... .....does and alcoholic pass on the "addiction" genes to his/her children? is it in fact hereditory? ..(i know my ex's grandmother was fond of her drink but no one else in...

jersey1 · jersey1

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime. When you know which one it is for a person, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through difficulty, to provide you w...

Alexandrite1313 · Alexandrite1313

This is my first time actually surfing this site. I am not sure how to start or even where to start or if I really need a site like this one, but if I want to know if I am going through right now is a problem, where else could I go?! I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now. We decided to move in t...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i feel bad for something i said. my last words to my father were that "you are going to die alone!" that was after he said he would rather drink than see his family. i feel kind of bad for what i said. my bro thinks it was wrong to say, but i truely feel that way and felt like i just wanted him to know. i know that my...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i think i just need a moment to vent, so here goes... i am the "proud" daughter of an alcoholic who has managed to ruin his entire world. my story would take forever to tell you. but the basics-alcoholic dad that swears he isn't drinking, has had 2 strokes,seizures,...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Okay, we've all made it past the holiday season, and if you're like me, you are suffering from the January blahs.... Maybe it's time to post "round two" of some good old fashioned recovery jokes!! Please feel free to add to the list, and/or to laugh out loud! Tom If an alcholi...

marmare · marmare

After three months of applying for jobs, I once again applied for one, an office manager position at a retirement/assisted living community. I stopped at my in-laws this morning and my mother in-law faxed my cover letter and resume. Within one hour I got a call for an interview, for tomo...

flintfeet · flintfeet

thanks for the warm welcome to those of you that reply. unfortunatly i'm not sure if i can participate in a local alanon program. i have epilepsy (& do not drive). i have a hard enough time trying to have people take me to the store, my kids to school, and so on. so i think i'll start here, a...

browneyes · browneyes

Hey guys-hope all is well I have been very busy getting ready for school to start, getting my kids set in daycare, and filing for divorce. things have been quiet since my husband is in jail. But I am stressing out at times because of my children and all of the changes, financial issues,et...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Yesterday, I started to feel that ancient tug-a-war inside myself to call/not call my ex. I wanted to call. Here's what I thought: "What's the harm? It's been two weeks; I'm all better now, and I'd just be checking in..."When I have these thoughts I know it's my own disease trying to trick me. My ex and...

gardengal · gardengal

A friend who was a co-worker and a member of AA told me I needed to go to alanon. I didnt understand how alanon could possibly help my situation, She said my spouse's drinking wasnt my problem, I insisted it was. If my spouse stopped drinking, that would solve all my problems. (Does this sound fami...

endoftherope · endoftherope

I hate him for making promises to me over and over but never keeps them, and probably never will. I hate him for being so mean and constantly pointing out my insignificant flaws to justify what he's doing evertime I bring it up, I also hate him for always down grading my recent...

confused · confused

I thought I would begin to feel better as I began to work on me but I am just so lost right now. I do not know what to do with myself, my decisions, my life. My A is still staying at his dad's. I miss him, but don't tell him that very often. I am so scared of getting sucked back in that I think I am building a wall arou...

allison · allison

Me and my A husband have been seperated almost 3 weeks.He moved out,took all his personal stuff.We have 4 kids and all he has given me is 100$ I changed the locks on the door because while I`m at work he gets into the house and takes stuff.Well,now he`s actually breaking in to get stuff.Took his car out of t...

sdisnie · sdisnie

This post has been removed and is being reviewed for content. A reminder that long quotes or articles need to be from Al-Anon and 12-Step approved circles. A decision will be made on this post shortly. -- Edited by canadianguy at 16:06, 2006-01-16

nycbt · nycbt

I am on step three "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I am reading a book called "a WOMAN'S WAY THROUGH THE TWELVE STEPS" BY STEPHANIE S. COVINGTON, PH.D I am reading in step three and something hits me one of the reason I don't want to let go becaus...

nancyfrances · nancyfrances

Have asked my husband to leave. He's considering it, but I intend to stick to my guns and make him go. I need the space. Needless to say I am a nervous wreck and so emotionally down, but I still feel good about the situation. It's called self-preservation, him or me.&nb...

nancyfrances · nancyfrances

Are all alcoholics so arrogant? My husband could be the poster child of it. He is always better than everyone else - especially when he drinks. When we would go out - he would zero in on someone and start picking on them. He's very sarcastic and cruel - he seems to know a person'...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

i am posting on another board now and we got into a discussion as to WHY we struggle so much with the "trust in god/hp" thingy...a lot of us felt forsaken during our childhoods.....i thought u guys may get something out of this...... &nb...

greeneyedgirl · greeneyedgirl

Hi all, Okay, I give up and give in...there's no way i'm not hitting a meeting tonight. Here's why: Today is my scheduled payday. My company in the last couple of weeks has been going through a transition of changing from one payroll company to the next, so they made sure to tell us that we needed...

elizabeth · elizabeth

just got this from a good friend, thought i would pass it along...... Horse-Sense Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if one stops the car, or is walking by, one will notice something quite amazing. Lookin...

Flora123 · Flora123

Well, this time, I am not taking it personally!!! But, am less than pleased to be blacklisted again. I have tried all of Edna's recommendations - still cant get into chat. It is your loss, I had some fascinating, inspirational things to say..... too bad you missed them. Dear John, give th...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, An update and post to vent my sorrow and joy over this weekend. After being pleasantly surprised Thursday night coming home to a picked up house and awake husband, who even had a light on in the house, and was sitting UP on the couch

I stayed home from work Friday to h...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

Thank you, guys who were in the chat room last night, when I needed you, you were there. Someone told me to take care of myself………that helped me immensely. He just left about 2 hours ago…I feel relief, regret, sadness….with a little trickle of hope. My “A” and me did...

Barbara · Barbara

I'll be 50 next year but still I look for someone to take care of me. For example my Dad use to be the one who locked up the house at night growing up. I expected my A husband to do the same but realized a while ago that he cant do this. He puts himself to bed and thats it. We dont even say goodnight to each other. I d...

mebjk · mebjk

Hello, all, I am still struggling with an in-law. I think I gave him too much credit - probably had expectations I shouldn't have had for him - and thought we could work through some long held feelings. I - unfairly, I think now - brought up the past, which is something he cannot change. He is an importan...

allison · allison

He treats me awful 95% of the time and all I ever wanted was for him to leave.Now that he`s gone all I do is cry cause I miss him...what is wrong with me? I feel like I can`t go on without him when deep down I know I`ve done it for years.Just because he lived here doesn`t mean he was here..does that make sense? I`...

nancyfrances · nancyfrances

Help, I'm so confused. My husband has been an alcoholic for all of the 18 years we've been married and before. While young thought he would grow out of his party attitude - but hasn't. I suffered alot through the years - being left alone to raise the kids, to going through illnesses b...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

well i had a good time at the dinner theater good food and a good show. my a took him mom to detox but we arent sure if she will stay there. not my problem. my a said if she sticks with it he is gonna go to meetings with her. this cant be good for him is the way i see it because he will be focused on her the whole time. i...

jersey1 · jersey1

i am an alcoholic my sobriety date is 9/1/02. i have gone through the steps in AA and I have also attended ALANON mtgs during the past year on and off. After doing work in that area of my life (AA) I realised that I needed more..hence ALANON. I have found that I need alot of work in this area and i...

Kim · Kim

Hello all: I haven't been posting much these days, I've been trying to muster up the strength each day to get through the day. The news about my father's cancer has really take hold and given me another good shake. Day to day is how I get through, hour by hour and so on.....I just don't feel read...

Christy · Christy

One of the members asked (ordered..lol) me to post my share from last night in hopes that it may show others "how Alanon works" Detachment: I didn't understand detachment at all when I first heard it. I thought it meant "ignore". But detachment with love? After all my A had done to me was even...

Barbara · Barbara

Found out this past Tues that I need 2 teeth extracted. Need a bridge turned into a partial. Ive had a partial now for a few yrs on the upper left side. Will need new 1 to include both sides. Ouch ouch ouch. Im insisting the oral surgeon puts me under. No surgery date yet. This Thurs I go for the impressions...

Kim · Kim

Thank you all for your responses to my previous post. I am always amazed at how the ESH aof others can lift you. My friends wound up cancelling due to the weather...but Itook the opportunity to take care of my house and started to organize things a bit...before I knew it I can cleaned out my l...

Barbara · Barbara

you'll go off topic? Thats my excuse now for not speaking

canadianguy · canadianguy

that is so commonplace, in the argument of "Christianity" vs. "being religious", with the latter one being people's interpretation of what one "should or shouldn't do" with respect to our beliefs..... The program of Al-Anon, although Christian based, has proven over the years to be available a...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

HOW I KNOW I AM GETTING BETTER: -Even though my ex and I broke up right before Christmas, I was able to have a wonderful Christmas for MYSELF. I did cry and cry when I heard the news. Then, I asked myself, "How can I take care of myself during this time?" I made a plan for how to celebrate and sp...

debilyn · debilyn

you know when I saw the A so sick and on the floor, not unlike a starving Ethiopian, I felt such sadness inside. My first thought was there is no one to talk to that will understand. I knew in my heart you guys do understand. I felt so fortunate to know when I got home I could tell ya. The hugs and car...

debilyn · debilyn

HI all, well I cannot get into the chat room so that is how come I am not there anyomre. Seems to be too much "life" going on for me. My gma is almost 106. She had an infection that has taken her down some. Sometimes we think she is going then the next thing ya know she is wanting to go to the dining room....

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

i had a major slip today. everything was going great my a and i had plans today then we get a phone call. from his mother and shes screaming and crying and all this crap. so we speant the entire day over there fighting. my a totally but himself on the backburner to tc of his mom and didnt get it that i wan...

toto12 · toto12

Hi Beth, I hope you are reading this..there has been a lot of trouble for some with the chatroom and haven't seen you in a month. A situation on Sat. reminded me of you. I hope everything is ok. At any rate, take it easy and know that toto is thinking of you. Take care, Toto

elizabeth · elizabeth

TWELVE STEPS OF A SPONSOR 2) &nbs...

RDP2976 · RDP2976

Hi I was just in the chat room but I have to go now and i hope to see everyone that talk to me and help me and listen to me. Thank you all for doing that.

Good Night ROBYN,

elizabeth · elizabeth

We learn some behaviors have self-defeating consequences, while others have beneficial consequences. We learn we have choices. --Beyond Codependency It is so easy to come to the defense of others. How clear it is when others are being used, controlled, manipulated, or abused. It is so easy...

tea2 · tea2

This is the ongoing / reoccurring theme for me at this time, whether it be my father calling me after four months and being “sick” or my ex husband being “sick” regarding our son. I had posted a thread on the message board asking what “letting go” meant to you – I felt there was more to it, th...

elizabeth · elizabeth

Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has...

debilyn · debilyn

HOw are ya? Yes we have pretty music going and food around. We talk about the past and tease each other. Grama is always saying something funny. Her son told her to be good, she said well I don't have much choice! lol She cannot heare or see well so we keep telling her who we are. I tell her I am Mort...

doxie · doxie

I have had it, I am through. I have been married to long to want to start over. No desire to do that. BUT, I will not give my emotions to him any longer. Only to be trampled on again and again. Gotta protect me. He needs to go through this, ok. I have no desire to be the doormat anymore. I am focusing on m...

nycbt · nycbt

Yesterday my husband ask me to get chinese and I said no so he ask if he could use the car and I said no. So he keep going outside and then coming back in. Then he said he friend just stop by. His friend never leaves his house. Well any way he wanted to go with his friend some where. He end up going to the rac...

sdisnie · sdisnie

It's so amazing when all of a sudden a whole bunch of things come together and just begin to click. Things you knew deep down but ignored, and things you would never have known if you wouldn't have discovered it in yourself because you sought it out. I've learned so much about the disease of alcoholism in...

kitty · kitty

Days go by & I sometimes don't read any posts... am I lazy or entitled to some rest? Sometimes the pain is too much to look at it, sometimes I respond with a total non-sequitor & go off in space... new to loving myself & what that means... ups & downs. &nbs...

ae`` · ae``

i just thought for anyone that might be interested...since this still seems to be a hot topic...and i know that i for one missed the interview the other night (i dont know how any other night i would have watched Larry King-maybe even twice!) they are going to reshow the intervi...

chris52 · chris52

I tried to reply to a posting on the board a few days ago from Mollyann about how to pray.Typed a reply and lost the connection so it didn't send. Tried again and same thing happened. Grrrrrr.Between bad internet connections here in Turkey and being blacklisted so I cant get into chat I haven't been havi...

UncleLou · UncleLou

Something Bobump wrote in a reply really caught my eye :“It would be a whole lot easier to detach w/o the kids. With or without love.” This is something I’m really really struggling with and there seems to be no obvious answers. As some of you know I’m sober over two years and divorced against my wishes...

Barbara · Barbara

Leave the booklets laying around? I think its time to let A know where I go on Sat mornings. I just dont want to hear "Im not an alcoholic. Why do you think you need that?" But before I take off for a weekend convention I think he should know where Im going. Years ago (12+) I attended an AA convention and he w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	UPDATE on: Is there still hope? (Preview) First of all, I think the whole co-dependent thing is a crock. Everyone has to be dependent (not all the time) but a lot of times in your life. That is why we have friends and family, if you can't ever break down and be needy somethings, it would be a cold cold world. I don't believe I'm totally co-dependent...	sdisnie	7	416	Jan 18, 2006 by maresie
	I realized.... (Preview) I haven't been here a lot recently and have missed all of you and the board. First let me tell you that my A is still clean & sober! The grumpiness has worn off and he is being more attentive. My second son was home on leave with his family and they left yesterday to go back to AZ.&n...	marmare	7	377	Jan 18, 2006 by notsonew1111
	my sister (Preview) Before christmas my sister and i had developed what i believed to be a new relationship. Up to that point we had not talked for over a year. We spent christmas together at my parents and things seemed fine. Over the last few weeks we have made plans numerous times to meet for dinner.&...	bd	4	284	Jan 18, 2006 by maresie
	I am getting better (Preview) I am getting better. Today I was confortable on the internet but he wanted to go to his friends house and show he friend how to do some cooking. I am lucky he does cook. However while we were walking in the house he ask me when will he be able to have his key back and it was not right that I wouldn't let him have. S...	nycbt	3	250	Jan 18, 2006 by maresie
	Anonymity (Preview) Yesterday at work, a co worker, a woman I don't know very well, came up to me to talk. "You've got teenagers too", she said. "Are you having trouble with power struggles between your husband and son?" I almost blurted out "My husband is a recovering drunk and crack addict. Believe me, his plate is fu...	lin0606	12	1207	Jan 18, 2006 by gogogirl
	question for ye.... (Preview) guys.. this might seem like the stupidest question ever,... but a friend at work asked me it..and i didnt know the answer... .....does and alcoholic pass on the "addiction" genes to his/her children? is it in fact hereditory? ..(i know my ex's grandmother was fond of her drink but no one else in...	Rebecca	6	445	Jan 18, 2006 by Christy
	a reason a season a lifetime (Preview) People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime. When you know which one it is for a person, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through difficulty, to provide you w...	jersey1	0	271	Jan 18, 2006 by jersey1
	Do We Have a Problem? (Preview) This is my first time actually surfing this site. I am not sure how to start or even where to start or if I really need a site like this one, but if I want to know if I am going through right now is a problem, where else could I go?! I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now. We decided to move in t...	Alexandrite1313	8	347	Jan 18, 2006 by rosie light shines
	dying alone (Preview) i feel bad for something i said. my last words to my father were that "you are going to die alone!" that was after he said he would rather drink than see his family. i feel kind of bad for what i said. my bro thinks it was wrong to say, but i truely feel that way and felt like i just wanted him to know. i know that my...	flintfeet	4	360	Jan 18, 2006 by rosie light shines
	first timer here... (Preview) i think i just need a moment to vent, so here goes... i am the "proud" daughter of an alcoholic who has managed to ruin his entire world. my story would take forever to tell you. but the basics-alcoholic dad that swears he isn't drinking, has had 2 strokes,seizures,...	flintfeet	4	260	Jan 18, 2006 by marmare
	Recovery Humor, the sequel (Preview) Okay, we've all made it past the holiday season, and if you're like me, you are suffering from the January blahs.... Maybe it's time to post "round two" of some good old fashioned recovery jokes!! Please feel free to add to the list, and/or to laugh out loud! Tom If an alcholi...	canadianguy	6	492	Jan 18, 2006 by JulieLynn
	Just a little prayer (Preview) After three months of applying for jobs, I once again applied for one, an office manager position at a retirement/assisted living community. I stopped at my in-laws this morning and my mother in-law faxed my cover letter and resume. Within one hour I got a call for an interview, for tomo...	marmare	6	293	Jan 18, 2006 by Karilynn
	local programs :( (Preview) thanks for the warm welcome to those of you that reply. unfortunatly i'm not sure if i can participate in a local alanon program. i have epilepsy (& do not drive). i have a hard enough time trying to have people take me to the store, my kids to school, and so on. so i think i'll start here, a...	flintfeet	2	261	Jan 18, 2006 by cdb
	Need some support,please (Preview) Hey guys-hope all is well I have been very busy getting ready for school to start, getting my kids set in daycare, and filing for divorce. things have been quiet since my husband is in jail. But I am stressing out at times because of my children and all of the changes, financial issues,et...	browneyes	8	344	Jan 17, 2006 by browneyes
	Getting Back On Track (Preview) Yesterday, I started to feel that ancient tug-a-war inside myself to call/not call my ex. I wanted to call. Here's what I thought: "What's the harm? It's been two weeks; I'm all better now, and I'd just be checking in..."When I have these thoughts I know it's my own disease trying to trick me. My ex and...	BlueCloud	3	299	Jan 17, 2006 by BlueCloud
	HANGING ONTO SERENITY (Preview) A friend who was a co-worker and a member of AA told me I needed to go to alanon. I didnt understand how alanon could possibly help my situation, She said my spouse's drinking wasnt my problem, I insisted it was. If my spouse stopped drinking, that would solve all my problems. (Does this sound fami...	gardengal	3	334	Jan 17, 2006 by nycbt
	Fed up. (Preview) I hate him for making promises to me over and over but never keeps them, and probably never will. I hate him for being so mean and constantly pointing out my insignificant flaws to justify what he's doing evertime I bring it up, I also hate him for always down grading my recent...	endoftherope	9	368	Jan 17, 2006 by KathyS
	pretending i'm ok (Preview) I thought I would begin to feel better as I began to work on me but I am just so lost right now. I do not know what to do with myself, my decisions, my life. My A is still staying at his dad's. I miss him, but don't tell him that very often. I am so scared of getting sucked back in that I think I am building a wall arou...	confused	6	359	Jan 17, 2006 by KathyS
	a question (Preview) Me and my A husband have been seperated almost 3 weeks.He moved out,took all his personal stuff.We have 4 kids and all he has given me is 100$ I changed the locks on the door because while I`m at work he gets into the house and takes stuff.Well,now he`s actually breaking in to get stuff.Took his car out of t...	allison	5	326	Jan 17, 2006 by KathyS
	Co-dependency article (Preview) This post has been removed and is being reviewed for content. A reminder that long quotes or articles need to be from Al-Anon and 12-Step approved circles. A decision will be made on this post shortly. -- Edited by canadianguy at 16:06, 2006-01-16	sdisnie	1	375	Jan 17, 2006 by KathyS
	hmm so true (Preview) I am on step three "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I am reading a book called "a WOMAN'S WAY THROUGH THE TWELVE STEPS" BY STEPHANIE S. COVINGTON, PH.D I am reading in step three and something hits me one of the reason I don't want to let go becaus...	nycbt	1	357	Jan 17, 2006 by just me
	Started the ball rolling, God give me the strength to continue (Preview) Have asked my husband to leave. He's considering it, but I intend to stick to my guns and make him go. I need the space. Needless to say I am a nervous wreck and so emotionally down, but I still feel good about the situation. It's called self-preservation, him or me.&nb...	nancyfrances	5	429	Jan 17, 2006 by rosie light shines
	Are all alcholics arrogant? (Preview) Are all alcoholics so arrogant? My husband could be the poster child of it. He is always better than everyone else - especially when he drinks. When we would go out - he would zero in on someone and start picking on them. He's very sarcastic and cruel - he seems to know a person'...	nancyfrances	14	3604	Jan 17, 2006 by sas
	for those who wondered "where was god" (Preview) i am posting on another board now and we got into a discussion as to WHY we struggle so much with the "trust in god/hp" thingy...a lot of us felt forsaken during our childhoods.....i thought u guys may get something out of this...... &nb...	rosie light shines	7	740	Jan 17, 2006 by bobump
	Okay, I give! I give! - it hurts too much! (Preview) Hi all, Okay, I give up and give in...there's no way i'm not hitting a meeting tonight. Here's why: Today is my scheduled payday. My company in the last couple of weeks has been going through a transition of changing from one payroll company to the next, so they made sure to tell us that we needed...	greeneyedgirl	4	304	Jan 17, 2006 by greeneyedgirl
	horse sense (Preview) just got this from a good friend, thought i would pass it along...... Horse-Sense Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if one stops the car, or is walking by, one will notice something quite amazing. Lookin...	elizabeth	3	256	Jan 17, 2006 by notsonew1111
	Blacklisted Again (Preview) Well, this time, I am not taking it personally!!! But, am less than pleased to be blacklisted again. I have tried all of Edna's recommendations - still cant get into chat. It is your loss, I had some fascinating, inspirational things to say..... too bad you missed them. Dear John, give th...	Flora123	6	470	Jan 16, 2006 by John_R
	update (Preview) Hello Everyone, An update and post to vent my sorrow and joy over this weekend. After being pleasantly surprised Thursday night coming home to a picked up house and awake husband, who even had a light on in the house, and was sitting UP on the couch I stayed home from work Friday to h...	Jennifer	7	327	Jan 16, 2006 by Jennifer
	About last nite…. (Preview) Thank you, guys who were in the chat room last night, when I needed you, you were there. Someone told me to take care of myself………that helped me immensely. He just left about 2 hours ago…I feel relief, regret, sadness….with a little trickle of hope. My “A” and me did...	CAM0914	1	346	Jan 16, 2006 by Flora123
	my A husband is NOT my father/caretaker (Preview) I'll be 50 next year but still I look for someone to take care of me. For example my Dad use to be the one who locked up the house at night growing up. I expected my A husband to do the same but realized a while ago that he cant do this. He puts himself to bed and thats it. We dont even say goodnight to each other. I d...	Barbara	8	424	Jan 16, 2006 by Emafer
	Struggling with an in-law (Preview) Hello, all, I am still struggling with an in-law. I think I gave him too much credit - probably had expectations I shouldn't have had for him - and thought we could work through some long held feelings. I - unfairly, I think now - brought up the past, which is something he cannot change. He is an importan...	mebjk	7	380	Jan 16, 2006 by Jeannie
	Why?! (Preview) He treats me awful 95% of the time and all I ever wanted was for him to leave.Now that he`s gone all I do is cry cause I miss him...what is wrong with me? I feel like I can`t go on without him when deep down I know I`ve done it for years.Just because he lived here doesn`t mean he was here..does that make sense? I`...	allison	10	441	Jan 16, 2006 by marmare
	Hate or anger I can't stand him anymore (Preview) Help, I'm so confused. My husband has been an alcoholic for all of the 18 years we've been married and before. While young thought he would grow out of his party attitude - but hasn't. I suffered alot through the years - being left alone to raise the kids, to going through illnesses b...	nancyfrances	7	445	Jan 16, 2006 by maresie
	my day today (Preview) well i had a good time at the dinner theater good food and a good show. my a took him mom to detox but we arent sure if she will stay there. not my problem. my a said if she sticks with it he is gonna go to meetings with her. this cant be good for him is the way i see it because he will be focused on her the whole time. i...	notsonew1111	5	289	Jan 16, 2006 by marmare
	nice to be here (Preview) i am an alcoholic my sobriety date is 9/1/02. i have gone through the steps in AA and I have also attended ALANON mtgs during the past year on and off. After doing work in that area of my life (AA) I realised that I needed more..hence ALANON. I have found that I need alot of work in this area and i...	jersey1	4	346	Jan 16, 2006 by maresie
	isolating and depressed (Preview) Hello all: I haven't been posting much these days, I've been trying to muster up the strength each day to get through the day. The news about my father's cancer has really take hold and given me another good shake. Day to day is how I get through, hour by hour and so on.....I just don't feel read...	Kim	8	461	Jan 16, 2006 by marmare
	Detachment Share (Preview) One of the members asked (ordered..lol) me to post my share from last night in hopes that it may show others "how Alanon works" Detachment: I didn't understand detachment at all when I first heard it. I thought it meant "ignore". But detachment with love? After all my A had done to me was even...	Christy	6	493	Jan 16, 2006 by maresie
	Im facing surgery - need teeth extracted (Preview) Found out this past Tues that I need 2 teeth extracted. Need a bridge turned into a partial. Ive had a partial now for a few yrs on the upper left side. Will need new 1 to include both sides. Ouch ouch ouch. Im insisting the oral surgeon puts me under. No surgery date yet. This Thurs I go for the impressions...	Barbara	5	272	Jan 16, 2006 by maresie
	got moving (Preview) Thank you all for your responses to my previous post. I am always amazed at how the ESH aof others can lift you. My friends wound up cancelling due to the weather...but Itook the opportunity to take care of my house and started to organize things a bit...before I knew it I can cleaned out my l...	Kim	5	344	Jan 16, 2006 by maresie
	ever afraid to speak at F2F cos (Preview) you'll go off topic? Thats my excuse now for not speaking	Barbara	9	492	Jan 16, 2006 by abbyal
	Al-Anon reminds me of another great battle.... (Preview) that is so commonplace, in the argument of "Christianity" vs. "being religious", with the latter one being people's interpretation of what one "should or shouldn't do" with respect to our beliefs..... The program of Al-Anon, although Christian based, has proven over the years to be available a...	canadianguy	2	420	Jan 15, 2006 by doxie
	How I know I am Getting Better (Preview) HOW I KNOW I AM GETTING BETTER: -Even though my ex and I broke up right before Christmas, I was able to have a wonderful Christmas for MYSELF. I did cry and cry when I heard the news. Then, I asked myself, "How can I take care of myself during this time?" I made a plan for how to celebrate and sp...	BlueCloud	3	367	Jan 15, 2006 by mebjk
	Bob n all (Preview) you know when I saw the A so sick and on the floor, not unlike a starving Ethiopian, I felt such sadness inside. My first thought was there is no one to talk to that will understand. I knew in my heart you guys do understand. I felt so fortunate to know when I got home I could tell ya. The hugs and car...	debilyn	3	285	Jan 15, 2006 by TLC2
	need some unlife (Preview) HI all, well I cannot get into the chat room so that is how come I am not there anyomre. Seems to be too much "life" going on for me. My gma is almost 106. She had an infection that has taken her down some. Sometimes we think she is going then the next thing ya know she is wanting to go to the dining room....	debilyn	6	320	Jan 15, 2006 by TLC2
	horrible day (Preview) i had a major slip today. everything was going great my a and i had plans today then we get a phone call. from his mother and shes screaming and crying and all this crap. so we speant the entire day over there fighting. my a totally but himself on the backburner to tc of his mom and didnt get it that i wan...	notsonew1111	9	504	Jan 15, 2006 by Flora123
	Beth, still here? (Preview) Hi Beth, I hope you are reading this..there has been a lot of trouble for some with the chatroom and haven't seen you in a month. A situation on Sat. reminded me of you. I hope everything is ok. At any rate, take it easy and know that toto is thinking of you. Take care, Toto	toto12	1	357	Jan 15, 2006 by Beth
	twelve steps of a sponsor (Preview) TWELVE STEPS OF A SPONSOR 2) &nbs...	elizabeth	0	307	Jan 15, 2006 by elizabeth
	I am sorry I had to go (Preview) Hi I was just in the chat room but I have to go now and i hope to see everyone that talk to me and help me and listen to me. Thank you all for doing that. Good Night ROBYN,	RDP2976	1	323	Jan 15, 2006 by Maria123
	from Language of Letting Go..... (Preview) We learn some behaviors have self-defeating consequences, while others have beneficial consequences. We learn we have choices. --Beyond Codependency It is so easy to come to the defense of others. How clear it is when others are being used, controlled, manipulated, or abused. It is so easy...	elizabeth	0	377	Jan 15, 2006 by elizabeth
	Letting Go (Preview) This is the ongoing / reoccurring theme for me at this time, whether it be my father calling me after four months and being “sick” or my ex husband being “sick” regarding our son. I had posted a thread on the message board asking what “letting go” meant to you – I felt there was more to it, th...	tea2	13	663	Jan 15, 2006 by Jerry F
	things that make you go hmmmm...... (Preview) Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has...	elizabeth	2	389	Jan 15, 2006 by whitie
	Whitie (Preview) HOw are ya? Yes we have pretty music going and food around. We talk about the past and tease each other. Grama is always saying something funny. Her son told her to be good, she said well I don't have much choice! lol She cannot heare or see well so we keep telling her who we are. I tell her I am Mort...	debilyn	1	340	Jan 15, 2006 by whitie
	HAD IT (Preview) I have had it, I am through. I have been married to long to want to start over. No desire to do that. BUT, I will not give my emotions to him any longer. Only to be trampled on again and again. Gotta protect me. He needs to go through this, ok. I have no desire to be the doormat anymore. I am focusing on m...	doxie	6	327	Jan 15, 2006 by rosie light shines
	i guess i am ok (Preview) Yesterday my husband ask me to get chinese and I said no so he ask if he could use the car and I said no. So he keep going outside and then coming back in. Then he said he friend just stop by. His friend never leaves his house. Well any way he wanted to go with his friend some where. He end up going to the rac...	nycbt	4	316	Jan 15, 2006 by rosie light shines
	Is there hope for us? (Preview) It's so amazing when all of a sudden a whole bunch of things come together and just begin to click. Things you knew deep down but ignored, and things you would never have known if you wouldn't have discovered it in yourself because you sought it out. I've learned so much about the disease of alcoholism in...	sdisnie	5	407	Jan 14, 2006 by doxie
	Responses & Posts (loving myself) (Preview) Days go by & I sometimes don't read any posts... am I lazy or entitled to some rest? Sometimes the pain is too much to look at it, sometimes I respond with a total non-sequitor & go off in space... new to loving myself & what that means... ups & downs. &nbs...	kitty	5	515	Jan 14, 2006 by notsonew1111
	James Frey- Larry King tonight-encore show... (Preview) i just thought for anyone that might be interested...since this still seems to be a hot topic...and i know that i for one missed the interview the other night (i dont know how any other night i would have watched Larry King-maybe even twice!) they are going to reshow the intervi...	ae``	0	327	Jan 14, 2006 by ae``
	Learning how to pray (Preview) I tried to reply to a posting on the board a few days ago from Mollyann about how to pray.Typed a reply and lost the connection so it didn't send. Tried again and same thing happened. Grrrrrr.Between bad internet connections here in Turkey and being blacklisted so I cant get into chat I haven't been havi...	chris52	3	280	Jan 14, 2006 by Flora123
	Bobump says "It would be a whole lot easier to detach w/o the kids" (Preview) Something Bobump wrote in a reply really caught my eye :“It would be a whole lot easier to detach w/o the kids. With or without love.” This is something I’m really really struggling with and there seems to be no obvious answers. As some of you know I’m sober over two years and divorced against my wishes...	UncleLou	19	724	Jan 14, 2006 by Jeannie
	how do you start the subject of AlAnon with your A? (Preview) Leave the booklets laying around? I think its time to let A know where I go on Sat mornings. I just dont want to hear "Im not an alcoholic. Why do you think you need that?" But before I take off for a weekend convention I think he should know where Im going. Years ago (12+) I attended an AA convention and he w...	Barbara	9	358	Jan 14, 2006 by Feather
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.