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Filing divorce papers
(Preview)
My recovering A of 1 year called to see if he should file the papers since he was in the area of the courthouse. I told him he needs to do what he feels he needs or should do. I'm tired of having to make all the decsions for him so that he doesn't have to accept accountability. So we went back and fo...
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regrets
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4
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273
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My song for today
(Preview)
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself I've been burdened with blame trapped in the past for too long I'm moving on I lived in this place and I know all the faces Each...
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txmom
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7
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397
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the party's over?
(Preview)
I posted another thread about being afraid to let go of my anger. But I think I am also afraid to leave my pity party. I have for a long time felt sorry for myself. When I was a child, this was a way that I comforted myself. I think I still do that. But I wonder how I can break that cycle. How do I stop feeling sorry...
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tippergirl
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3
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406
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Stuck-unsure what to do here....
(Preview)
My husband is in jail right now for multiple DUIs and his family hates me because we got into a fight and he bad mouthed me to them. Then we made up, because I went to the jail to visit him. Up until then, I was being the devoted wife, putting $ on his account, visiting, talking to the lawyer, going to court, or...
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sarahlm
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9
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373
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afraid to let go of anger
(Preview)
I struggle with anger all the time. In some ways, I am addicted to anger. It has been a survival emotion for me, because if I didn't have anger I would have cried and felt completely defenseless and hopeless. I am working so hard on me right now and getting out of my depression and trying to let go of my anger...
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tippergirl
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3
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549
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He's Been Gone For 1 Week!!
(Preview)
So my AH has been gone for a full week. Just up and disappeared AGAIN. No contact what so ever. I was so mad last week when he disappeared. Then my mom & sister took the kids & me to Nags Head for the weekend. We had a nice time. When I got home Sunday, I knew he...
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QOD
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6
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389
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choice vs disease
(Preview)
sometimes i think it is a contradiction to think of a'ism as a disease while saying it is the a's choice to drink or not. if it is a disease and they are powerless over it, then isn't it not their choice? but yet we say they need to hit bottom and work the program steps and they need to make the cho...
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quest
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7
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369
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Joy and hope
(Preview)
Good morning all.
I know that many of us have difficulties and hardships that we are going through, some as a result of living with and/or dealing with the As in our lives, some just because it is actually just life.
I have found, however, as a result of working the 12 steps and pracitcing thes...
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kspear
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5
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329
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He is getting meaner
(Preview)
My A and I had a good weekend...lotts of closeness and love, until yesterday.
He called me at 3 and said he had been golfing all day with a friend. Then he said he was on his way to the state park to meet a friend and his GF to go fishing, THEN after that he was thinking of fishing with the friend he had been gol...
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jennneeefffurrr
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6
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447
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detaching and boundaries
(Preview)
I would like to start a discussion about detachment and boundaries. I believe there must be a subtle art to both, but I haven't figured it out.
Several months ago I attempted to set my boundaries by providing my AH a list of expectations. There was nothing radical on the list simply that...
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babysteps
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7
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378
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11am, is this day over yet?
(Preview)
It is 11am my time. And already we have lost the car, and I just found out that my grandfather has to have heart surgery.
I that at 28, having my granfather still here is a blessing. But I am soooooooooo not ready to face the fact that he is getting older. And the thought of losing him. Not even something I t...
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Dolphin123
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8
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314
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My Dad & Me
(Preview)
Today my Dad & Me smiled it was just a few minutes but it was good.
I think this morning when I was so hysterical it was an awakening which led me to my Dad and some how I help him and he helped me. Regardless of how sad we both were it was good moment. Thank you HP and MIP Friends for the replies thei...
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angelnomore
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1
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238
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when a friend has cancer
(Preview)
I just found our a friend of mine has cancer. She has pretty advanced cancer actually which says a lot about her level of self care because she did not go to a doctor for like 13 years. My caretaking is in high gear because of course I am in shock and when I am in shock, I caretake. I want to...
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maresie
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2
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384
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doubting
(Preview)
I am new to Alanon...My husbands drinking seems to only effect me. He will come home 3 4 5 6 hours late. No one else is aware of this. When my daughter asks... I say he his out with friends. Sometimes I feel I am making this a problem If only I didn't care Why ca...
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Elizabeth M
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5
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283
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I won't take it anymore
(Preview)
I haven't posted in a while, thank those of you who were asking about me. As some of you know, I've made an attempt to work things out with my ex. The house was sold after the divorce, but the buyers backed out and we decided to try to stay and see if we could make thing work. I was waiting for her to get a new coun...
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UncleLou
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10
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513
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my co-dependency
(Preview)
The past couple days I've started to see my own co-dependency...I guess I've always saw myself as a independent person...but my view has quickly changed. I'm seeing how much I've become entwined in the life of my A. I've been very down on myself for not being how I use to be...(into music a...
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jojo
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5
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398
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my birthday
(Preview)
Unfortnuntely my other post about birthdays went awol and the only bit that showed up was at the end. My birthday is on Tuesday. This last year has been particularly difficult which is one reason I came to al-anon. I guess I had to hit a whole series of bottoms to get here.
I make thi...
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maresie
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11
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382
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Question? Do you still care enough to make changes in your life?
(Preview)
I thought I would pose this question to all, new comers, and "oldsters" alike. I know for me I was always trying to change someone else's life, leaving mine on the back burner. This is what alcoholism did to me. I would constantly be trying to "fix" him change him to my way of living or thinking. I never tho...
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gardengal
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5
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299
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abuse & anger management
(Preview)
Hi its been quite some time since ive been here. but im in dire need of help. Im hoping at least one of you mite be able to help direct me to were i need to be. I grew up in a home with a father who was an A and was both physicly and mentaly abusive to my mother and I. mom seems to have came thru it ok after his death ( al...
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scared
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6
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2339
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Feeking a need to understand
(Preview)
Hello ((Everyone))
Today I am feeling quite unsettled. I got a drunk dial call last night, asking me to come home because he was so lonely, then told he was in the kitchen by the refrigerator .... then the phone got cut off. I did not call back.
He is lonely .... why am I worried about if he will have sex w...
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Jennifer
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4
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367
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Letting Go
(Preview)
I was cleaning up some old files on my computer this weekend. Spring cleaning. I came across this. It was saved in 2003, shortly after I started alanon. I have no idea where I got it from but I am sure I stole it fair and square. The concept of letting go was so difficul...
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greta
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2
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444
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trying to set boundaries this week
(Preview)
I was afraid to post what I am feeling today but it is eating at me. I need to do something now about my son staying in myguest house. Trial is over. Am I going to allow him to stay or make him go? I am fighting with it today. I know I have to do something because I am feeling so uncomfortable today with not doing a...
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Gailey
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3
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351
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HP, help me get through this morning
(Preview)
Its 200am Pacific Time, I’ve been crying since I put my head down on the pillow. What is about this time that winds me up? I’ve been crying hysterically now for about 3 hours. As soon as it’s 600 am I’m going to call him and ask him why do we have to do this? I don’t get it. The...
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angelnomore
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3
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368
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new to Al-anon
(Preview)
I am sure there are many out there with a story familiar to mine. I am 32 years old and I grew up with an alcoholic mother. As most families do, we never talked about the problem. My father worked out of town and was usually only home on the weekends.
I have a older brother who was consider the troublesom...
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iwishuheaven
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7
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397
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Fear
(Preview)
Fear has been so prevalent in my life. I fear confrontation, anger, what others think of me. This stems from growing up with a violent alcoholic father. If we stepped out of line, you could be murdered physically, verbally, and mentally. Trying to not bow down to others out of fear has debilated my life...
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kissers
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0
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221
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RE: Praying For A Miracle
(Preview)
(((((((((((((Hi Guys))))))))))))))))))))),
Well thank you to all who responded to my post last night about the water in the gas tank.
Last night after my "A" came back he went out and used, sigh, and came back a few hours later drunk and stoned. But oddly enough we had experienced some wonderful c...
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Dolphin123
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1
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376
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SOME day i will run out of addictions
(Preview)
this topic came up over the weekend for me..........boy it was on time............this weekend, i realized i have been running away from my pain.....................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i
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rosie light shines
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1
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217
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serving of the papers
(Preview)
Hi all
My computer and I have been out of commission for awhile, well I'm still not on the net so to speak accept when I get to this internet cafe.
I have started the divorce proceeding and I am waiting for him to be served the papers, for the ti** to hit the fan. It's not like I haven't told him that I t...
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whitie
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7
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359
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Scared of the step where I need to make amends but could it be other person needs to come to me?
(Preview)
I want to skip over the 2 steps where I need to make amends. But could it be the other person needs to come to me to make amends? I am NOT ready to face my brother. Maybe before his trial end of July but who knows. Can I skip these steps, do the later steps and come back to these?
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Barbara
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1
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214
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Does anyone else do this-Isolation
(Preview)
do.         &n...
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lilms
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4
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374
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Coming to terms with the truth
(Preview)
(((Hello Group)))
Thanks for the support yesterday, i was really in a yucky place. I really meditated on some of the points each of you brought up. I needed to ask myself if I have been completely honest with myself and my feelings. This morning, my question to HP was did you bring...
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twinmom2
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2
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250
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Praying for a Miracle
(Preview)
Hi all,
Well as I shared in the meeting last night, my car broke down on the way to church. I was ok, My "A" said it could only be a few things that could have happened like a fuel filter or fuel pump replacement.
Well today he came back from the car with a cup full of water that smelled like gas. Someone pou...
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Dolphin123
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5
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299
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A great weekend
(Preview)
Hi everyone
I am so truly grateful this morning. We had a great weekend!
My Mom and Dad got here safely. My little guys communion went without a hitch, he looked so cute and it was a wonderful day. He looked like such a little man in his suit.
My daughters softball tournament went well. They l...
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Jeannie
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3
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253
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My Mom
(Preview)
Just talked to my Mom, and had the best news.....she had pneumonia, and is almost over it. Weird to be glad about pneumonia, huh? Well, to both of us, it was good news, compared to what it could have been. She is feeling much better, just finally having the n...
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Becky1
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5
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237
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aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
(Preview)
today has already started off extremly crazy. while actually i tell my story about last night first. i got a horrible migraine last night and i was given a new prescription to try out from my doc, for when i get migraines. so i took it like i was supposed to. it got rid of the migraine within half an hour but....
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notsonew1111
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4
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282
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Steps Four and Five
(Preview)
Edit Post | Quote | ReplySteps Four and Five
Hi Everyone! I just want to share something of the process I am currently going through, in working another Step Four. It's been some years since I did the last one, so I picked up that Blueprint for Progress Workbook for Step Fou... >>
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seachange
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3
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363
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detachment - not sure if i am doing it right
(Preview)
hi all, question wrt detachment. i used to react when my a drank, lied, did drugs... lately i have been kind and understanding it is a disease. and it is certainly better for me. i say things like, i am sorry you are having such a hard time... the question is - i wonder if i...
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quest
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1
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230
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I’M TERRIFIED
(Preview)
Hi my name is Angelnomore: My boyfriend who has been attending meeting since January has now reached his 90 days actually its over 100. We have broken up. He said he is not able to handle my emotional stuff and he is taking a break; I can call it whatever I want he said bre...
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angelnomore
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9
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565
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esh in crisis
(Preview)
I went to a counselor for the first time iin 10+ years. The counselor handles depression issues which I am very depressed at the moment. He is a marriage counselor and also my husband's addiction counselor. So it was helpful because he has some background info and knows what has been going on lately. He...
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tippergirl
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4
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337
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update on my weekend
(Preview)
Hi all,
Well, the HP works in strange ways. I had a restless night Friday thinking about my A and him not wanting to come for the weekend. About running my race and how my A and I use to do these things together. Well, I got up early, early and drove to the race. I was not feeling confident. As we warmed up I ra...
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nmike
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4
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265
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One day at a time
(Preview)
Hello (((Evryone)))
Quick update ...
On Friday afternoon I started thinking I could stay until after work Saturday, that's when I knew I had to leave immediately or I may not. So here I am with my dogs and a few clothes. I miss my cats, I miss my house, I wish I were finishing the gardening projects I ha...
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Jennifer
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3
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324
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Uncle Lou where are you?
(Preview)
I just wondered??? love,debilyn
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debilyn
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6
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305
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I am back........
(Preview)
Thanks you all so much for your prayers and there still need!!!!
My trip was painful, hard, but learned that i had dealt with how to deal with my alcoholic family when i am around them but not with my Husbands Alcoholic father but he is so different from my alcoholic parents that i forget that HE is a...
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bubbles1990
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5
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261
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I really need advice
(Preview)
last saturday my boyfriend of 8 years asked me to marry him. i had been wanting this for a very long time and accepted. this should be one of the happiest times of my life, instead i sit here crying as i write this.
i have known he had issues with acohol for a few years. it was mil...
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girlthing181
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9
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347
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Prayers for my Mom
(Preview)
My sweet little Mom, who will be 86 this Nov. has been having problems coughing a lot for a while now. Thought it was allergies. Went to Dr. for coughing, they took x-rays, now want her to come back in tomorrow (Mon.) to talk about them.
I am scared to death. I live in Ohio and my Mom lives in K...
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Becky1
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14
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436
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need esh
(Preview)
well things have took a complete turn around once again. my a told me last night that he cant stay sober, that he cant handle it. he has been 41 days sober. these days have been the best. but now he is just giving up. he was in an outpatient program and has been finished for a week. so the cravings started. he s...
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notsonew1111
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10
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486
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happy thoughts
(Preview)
I am glad I recalled this link A friend had passed this along to me awhile back.. I just sent it to a few others and thought it worth sharing here as well. If you wish turn your volume/speakers on -unless on the job, even then -hey they may enjoy too http://www.llangley.com/yoga/wi...
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tea2
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2
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338
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The images are still there, yet I am still doubting things
(Preview)
Today has been a rough day. I don't know why I have been so hard on myself today. For some reason, I am doubting if what is going on is real, or if I am just thinking all of this to put the blame on him for ending the relationship. A way to justify things in my mind. But then the images of every single empty beer ca...
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WishingOnAStar
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3
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231
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Poem - There ain't no changin norm
(Preview)
Norm gets up
his hair is ragged,
ties his shoes
without a thought.
He’s going to
the seven-eleven
can’t recall
the night.
who wants to anyway.
There ain’t no changin norm.
Norm is
Norm ain’t
Norm was
Norm is
afraid of that.
Roque bloke you are
ferrel in nature
...
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SingingLeaves
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2
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239
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Letting go of my Fears...
(Preview)
Let Go Let God has been a confusing and challenging task for me. I'm still mastering it. I have felt conflicted with my feelings towards my "A". He says there is nothing for me to worry about with regards to him cheating on me, but don't most people say that even when its not true?&nbs...
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twinmom2
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5
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399
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He hung up on me-feel so hopeless-need hope
(Preview)
My husband is in Jail for multiple Duis and he hung up on me this morning because he said he "doesn't have the energy for this" because I said he was being mean. SO I said "You think I do?'' and he said "F@#@ you!" and hung up on me. It just sucks because I cannot convince myself that I didnt do anything wrong in...
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sarahlm
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8
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283
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new and raw
(Preview)
UGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! I can't take it anymore. My husband has been not that great a husband for the past two years. I am trying to be supportive as he goes through his recovery. The problem is that I have no support. He doesn't support me and can nver seem to give me what I need. I locked myself in the bathroom...
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tippergirl
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7
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410
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Motherinlaw Had a stroke
(Preview)
Am new and try and read everyday this stuff. My motherinlaw had a stroke on Wednesday and seems to be getting worse. So thank you for all of the amazing thoughts and advice I have seen on here in the last few days. Hope to get to more of it soon
Annie
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lilms
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5
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206
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HELP!
(Preview)
Can someone explain how to get into the chat room? I can get onto the page but the chat space is a black void with a small x up in the corner. I don't have the option to chat live. Can anyone walk me through the process? Is there an option under tools/internet options that will hel...
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roxie
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4
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275
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Questions
(Preview)
I joined the Family Teens sight about a month or so ago. I just joined this one, and I'm trying to figure out how this all works. Are most of the people here dealing with alcoholics that are they're spouses, or children? I was just wondering because it's my dad who is the alcoholic and I've been trying to fi...
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Miranda
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6
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297
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and what if they die
(Preview)
I am new to this, not living with an A but talking about it.
My stepdaughter is 27 and has used drugs and or alcohol for many many years, usually consuming both.
I have been in her life for a little over six years and have seen more than I have time to say. Her Mom and I have lived together for...
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lilms
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10
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439
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What tools are in your toolbox?
(Preview)
Good morning, all.
Every once in a while I've found it's been helpful to me to look through my "toolbox" of things I've learned through the program. It gives me a bit of an inventory and reminds me what's in there for when situations arise. My sponsor at one point had me do it just as if I was...
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kspear
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1
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553
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No Guarantees!!
(Preview)
Aloha Family Group!!
And thanks so much (Mahalo Nui) for the sharing and caring I have read before posting. I surely needed to come here and recenter because I got complacent and when sucked back into Alcoholic Personalities lost my serenity, perspective and balance.
Yep I GOT HAD...
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Jerry F
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1
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354
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Public Amends
(Preview)
I made a huge mistake and hurt one of our MIP family this morning. In the chat room after the meeting there were several people sharing with one another. While I was concentrating on a conversation with a newcomer, a veteran of the room posted a plea for help. I completely missed it a...
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txmom
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5
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450
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short update
(Preview)
Just got back from ER -had been to Doc earlier today -pray for healing from migraine, nauseu, dehydration.
Thanks,
Cedarpines
Aca_rebel
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cedarpines
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13
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444
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